Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same PP as above. Forgot to mention that my father split his estate 4 ways equally among my 2 siblings and I and our STEPSISTER (the daughter of my stepmother--no blood relation).

But that was up to him. Do you have an issue with that? Because it sounds like that’s what you want your stepfather to do so why do you have an issue with your father doing that?

Are you planning on giving your half siblings the money you inherit from your father? I’m guessing no. So to me, it makes sense that your stepfather and mother are equalizing things. Your half siblings aren’t going to receive an inheritance from another father or mother. You seem to want to inherit equally as your half siblings do while also keeping the inheritance you get from your father that you’re half siblings don’t get. And then you also seem to have an issue with your step sibling on your father side sharing in the estate.

Certainly no issue with my stepsister getting equal inheritance. She clearly feels a little awkward about it, but there is zero beef on our end. My dad called me many years ago to tell me she would get equal treatment and I said "it's your money, you made it, and that is lovely of you to include her." She did receive an inheritance from her biological father when he died, as well. It was more about the principle to include her--that he considered her his child (even if she had a "real dad" who also was in her life and would leave her money).

I don't think it should be equal. I think it should not be 97/3. Oh, and that I should not have been asked to manage the estate and their health decisions before seeing the documents--I find that part very odd. We all grew up in the same house and I am very close with the half siblings.

How much have you or will you inherit from your father?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same PP as above. Forgot to mention that my father split his estate 4 ways equally among my 2 siblings and I and our STEPSISTER (the daughter of my stepmother--no blood relation).

But that was up to him. Do you have an issue with that? Because it sounds like that’s what you want your stepfather to do so why do you have an issue with your father doing that?

Are you planning on giving your half siblings the money you inherit from your father? I’m guessing no. So to me, it makes sense that your stepfather and mother are equalizing things. Your half siblings aren’t going to receive an inheritance from another father or mother. You seem to want to inherit equally as your half siblings do while also keeping the inheritance you get from your father that you’re half siblings don’t get. And then you also seem to have an issue with your step sibling on your father side sharing in the estate.

Certainly no issue with my stepsister getting equal inheritance. She clearly feels a little awkward about it, but there is zero beef on our end. My dad called me many years ago to tell me she would get equal treatment and I said "it's your money, you made it, and that is lovely of you to include her." She did receive an inheritance from her biological father when he died, as well. It was more about the principle to include her--that he considered her his child (even if she had a "real dad" who also was in her life and would leave her money).

I don't think it should be equal. I think it should not be 97/3. Oh, and that I should not have been asked to manage the estate and their health decisions before seeing the documents--I find that part very odd. We all grew up in the same house and I am very close with the half siblings.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My siblings and I were recently informed that we will each get $100K and our two half siblings (same mom) will split the rest of the estate (about $10M). My mother and stepfather married when I was five and had two children together. We all lived in the same house together (not in the same state ans my father but we visited him regularly). Our father passed away suddenly and tragically a couple of years ago and we will receive an inheritance from him, but nothing mindblowing.

No sibling issues because no one was consulted but WTAF?

You were so young when you began livng in the household with mom and stepdad. How old was your sibling? Spepfather deceased?
10m to half siblings and what amount to your mom? She had 4 kids , 2 from each DH, so what happens upon her demise?

As a child etc were you and sibling under a Cinderella Effect? Gifts, tuition?

Both mother and stepfather are still living. If he dies first, mother lives off of trust income until her death and then the money goes to the kids.

Up to 18, stepfather and father split private school tuition and father paid for trips to visit him and I believe provided some child support, covering medical expenses, etc and I am not sure what else. Once 18, father paid for tuition and gave spending money. Stepfather gave smaller amount of spending money through undergrad and grad school. After grad school, no financial support from any parents (I didn't expect or ask for any). My father did pay for family vacations and things like that and gave money for holidays--very normal, IMO, for adult children. Half siblings have received financial support in adulthood from stepfather for more daily/regular expenses (rent, car stuff, etc).

My mom left my dad for my stepdad, i.e., he basically took another man's family away. My father was extremely involved in our lives in every sense, despite living a flight away. Things seemed normal until 18 in the home with mom and stepdad. Stepdad was always a loving and involved parent. Starting at 18, financial disparity grew and was transferred to the grandkids. Much less involvement and very little in the way of financial gifts/support (token gifts for holidays only) for the children of the stepkids.

They recently discussed the estate plan with all 5 children (the 3 of us stepchildren and my two half siblings). They seemed to think it was all normal and fair because our father left us money when he died (we won't get most of it until my stepmom dies). Mom and stepdad act like it's all one big happy family. They seriously have not acknowledged that this might be a slight. Also, they asked me to be executor before disclosing the terms and I agreed. So, I have a job to do -- manage their estate and make sure the real kids get all the money. I am letting the situation die down for now, but will likely hand off this responsibility soon by telling them it makes more sense for one of the others to do it.

How do trusts like this work? Is there a cap on how much of the trust PP's mom can spend down? Who is the executor? Is everything that PP's mom gets from his estate locked up in a trust, so she doesn't have anything to give away upon her death? That seems unfair. In the blended family I know, both people have money to give away upon their death. Apply this to PP's situation - the stepfather doesn't have 100% control over the entire estate - the biological mother owns and controls 50% of the estate and can divide that 50% equally to her biological children, including the PP. Sure, the children of the mom and stepdad get more in the end because they each get 25% of mom's estate and 50% of dad's estate, but it's still a much better situation for PP than what PP has described. PP's mom is basically cheated out of a legacy.

It's very common. Everything goes into a trust and the mom lives off of the income of the trust. When she dies, the trust dissolves and the money gets distributed to the kids. She does not have ownership over the house or the money and just gets distributions from the trust.

That sucks. I'm glad I work and have my own assets, and our home is jointly owned as joint tenants with rights of survivorship. I care about my legacy. My husband doesn't get 100% control of where our money goes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ yes, there are limits and correct--she has nothing to bequeath upon her death (aside from her personal property).

She gets an allowance in life and death, but never equity ownership. Sad.

Right, because then she could leave it to the stepchildren. This way, he decides the division and it stands at his death.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My siblings and I were recently informed that we will each get $100K and our two half siblings (same mom) will split the rest of the estate (about $10M). My mother and stepfather married when I was five and had two children together. We all lived in the same house together (not in the same state ans my father but we visited him regularly). Our father passed away suddenly and tragically a couple of years ago and we will receive an inheritance from him, but nothing mindblowing.

No sibling issues because no one was consulted but WTAF?

You were so young when you began livng in the household with mom and stepdad. How old was your sibling? Spepfather deceased?
10m to half siblings and what amount to your mom? She had 4 kids , 2 from each DH, so what happens upon her demise?

As a child etc were you and sibling under a Cinderella Effect? Gifts, tuition?

Both mother and stepfather are still living. If he dies first, mother lives off of trust income until her death and then the money goes to the kids.

Up to 18, stepfather and father split private school tuition and father paid for trips to visit him and I believe provided some child support, covering medical expenses, etc and I am not sure what else. Once 18, father paid for tuition and gave spending money. Stepfather gave smaller amount of spending money through undergrad and grad school. After grad school, no financial support from any parents (I didn't expect or ask for any). My father did pay for family vacations and things like that and gave money for holidays--very normal, IMO, for adult children. Half siblings have received financial support in adulthood from stepfather for more daily/regular expenses (rent, car stuff, etc).

My mom left my dad for my stepdad, i.e., he basically took another man's family away. My father was extremely involved in our lives in every sense, despite living a flight away. Things seemed normal until 18 in the home with mom and stepdad. Stepdad was always a loving and involved parent. Starting at 18, financial disparity grew and was transferred to the grandkids. Much less involvement and very little in the way of financial gifts/support (token gifts for holidays only) for the children of the stepkids.

They recently discussed the estate plan with all 5 children (the 3 of us stepchildren and my two half siblings). They seemed to think it was all normal and fair because our father left us money when he died (we won't get most of it until my stepmom dies). Mom and stepdad act like it's all one big happy family. They seriously have not acknowledged that this might be a slight. Also, they asked me to be executor before disclosing the terms and I agreed. So, I have a job to do -- manage their estate and make sure the real kids get all the money. I am letting the situation die down for now, but will likely hand off this responsibility soon by telling them it makes more sense for one of the others to do it.

How do trusts like this work? Is there a cap on how much of the trust PP's mom can spend down? Who is the executor? Is everything that PP's mom gets from his estate locked up in a trust, so she doesn't have anything to give away upon her death? That seems unfair. In the blended family I know, both people have money to give away upon their death. Apply this to PP's situation - the stepfather doesn't have 100% control over the entire estate - the biological mother owns and controls 50% of the estate and can divide that 50% equally to her biological children, including the PP. Sure, the children of the mom and stepdad get more in the end because they each get 25% of mom's estate and 50% of dad's estate, but it's still a much better situation for PP than what PP has described. PP's mom is basically cheated out of a legacy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^^ yes, there are limits and correct--she has nothing to bequeath upon her death (aside from her personal property).

She gets an allowance in life and death, but never equity ownership. Sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My siblings and I were recently informed that we will each get $100K and our two half siblings (same mom) will split the rest of the estate (about $10M). My mother and stepfather married when I was five and had two children together. We all lived in the same house together (not in the same state ans my father but we visited him regularly). Our father passed away suddenly and tragically a couple of years ago and we will receive an inheritance from him, but nothing mindblowing.

No sibling issues because no one was consulted but WTAF?

You were so young when you began livng in the household with mom and stepdad. How old was your sibling? Spepfather deceased?
10m to half siblings and what amount to your mom? She had 4 kids , 2 from each DH, so what happens upon her demise?

As a child etc were you and sibling under a Cinderella Effect? Gifts, tuition?

Both mother and stepfather are still living. If he dies first, mother lives off of trust income until her death and then the money goes to the kids.

Up to 18, stepfather and father split private school tuition and father paid for trips to visit him and I believe provided some child support, covering medical expenses, etc and I am not sure what else. Once 18, father paid for tuition and gave spending money. Stepfather gave smaller amount of spending money through undergrad and grad school. After grad school, no financial support from any parents (I didn't expect or ask for any). My father did pay for family vacations and things like that and gave money for holidays--very normal, IMO, for adult children. Half siblings have received financial support in adulthood from stepfather for more daily/regular expenses (rent, car stuff, etc).

My mom left my dad for my stepdad, i.e., he basically took another man's family away. My father was extremely involved in our lives in every sense, despite living a flight away. Things seemed normal until 18 in the home with mom and stepdad. Stepdad was always a loving and involved parent. Starting at 18, financial disparity grew and was transferred to the grandkids. Much less involvement and very little in the way of financial gifts/support (token gifts for holidays only) for the children of the stepkids.

They recently discussed the estate plan with all 5 children (the 3 of us stepchildren and my two half siblings). They seemed to think it was all normal and fair because our father left us money when he died (we won't get most of it until my stepmom dies). Mom and stepdad act like it's all one big happy family. They seriously have not acknowledged that this might be a slight. Also, they asked me to be executor before disclosing the terms and I agreed. So, I have a job to do -- manage their estate and make sure the real kids get all the money. I am letting the situation die down for now, but will likely hand off this responsibility soon by telling them it makes more sense for one of the others to do it.

How do trusts like this work? Is there a cap on how much of the trust PP's mom can spend down? Who is the executor? Is everything that PP's mom gets from his estate locked up in a trust, so she doesn't have anything to give away upon her death? That seems unfair. In the blended family I know, both people have money to give away upon their death. Apply this to PP's situation - the stepfather doesn't have 100% control over the entire estate - the biological mother owns and controls 50% of the estate and can divide that 50% equally to her biological children, including the PP. Sure, the children of the mom and stepdad get more in the end because they each get 25% of mom's estate and 50% of dad's estate, but it's still a much better situation for PP than what PP has described. PP's mom is basically cheated out of a legacy.

It's very common. Everything goes into a trust and the mom lives off of the income of the trust. When she dies, the trust dissolves and the money gets distributed to the kids. She does not have ownership over the house or the money and just gets distributions from the trust.

That sucks. I'm glad I work and have my own assets, and our home is jointly owned as joint tenants with rights of survivorship. I care about my legacy. My husband doesn't get 100% control of where our money goes.

Anonymous wrote:^^^ yes, there are limits and correct--she has nothing to bequeath upon her death (aside from her personal property).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My siblings and I were recently informed that we will each get $100K and our two half siblings (same mom) will split the rest of the estate (about $10M). My mother and stepfather married when I was five and had two children together. We all lived in the same house together (not in the same state ans my father but we visited him regularly). Our father passed away suddenly and tragically a couple of years ago and we will receive an inheritance from him, but nothing mindblowing.

No sibling issues because no one was consulted but WTAF?

You were so young when you began livng in the household with mom and stepdad. How old was your sibling? Spepfather deceased?
10m to half siblings and what amount to your mom? She had 4 kids , 2 from each DH, so what happens upon her demise?

As a child etc were you and sibling under a Cinderella Effect? Gifts, tuition?

Both mother and stepfather are still living. If he dies first, mother lives off of trust income until her death and then the money goes to the kids.

Up to 18, stepfather and father split private school tuition and father paid for trips to visit him and I believe provided some child support, covering medical expenses, etc and I am not sure what else. Once 18, father paid for tuition and gave spending money. Stepfather gave smaller amount of spending money through undergrad and grad school. After grad school, no financial support from any parents (I didn't expect or ask for any). My father did pay for family vacations and things like that and gave money for holidays--very normal, IMO, for adult children. Half siblings have received financial support in adulthood from stepfather for more daily/regular expenses (rent, car stuff, etc).

My mom left my dad for my stepdad, i.e., he basically took another man's family away. My father was extremely involved in our lives in every sense, despite living a flight away. Things seemed normal until 18 in the home with mom and stepdad. Stepdad was always a loving and involved parent. Starting at 18, financial disparity grew and was transferred to the grandkids. Much less involvement and very little in the way of financial gifts/support (token gifts for holidays only) for the children of the stepkids.

They recently discussed the estate plan with all 5 children (the 3 of us stepchildren and my two half siblings). They seemed to think it was all normal and fair because our father left us money when he died (we won't get most of it until my stepmom dies). Mom and stepdad act like it's all one big happy family. They seriously have not acknowledged that this might be a slight. Also, they asked me to be executor before disclosing the terms and I agreed. So, I have a job to do -- manage their estate and make sure the real kids get all the money. I am letting the situation die down for now, but will likely hand off this responsibility soon by telling them it makes more sense for one of the others to do it.

How do trusts like this work? Is there a cap on how much of the trust PP's mom can spend down? Who is the executor? Is everything that PP's mom gets from his estate locked up in a trust, so she doesn't have anything to give away upon her death? That seems unfair. In the blended family I know, both people have money to give away upon their death. Apply this to PP's situation - the stepfather doesn't have 100% control over the entire estate - the biological mother owns and controls 50% of the estate and can divide that 50% equally to her biological children, including the PP. Sure, the children of the mom and stepdad get more in the end because they each get 25% of mom's estate and 50% of dad's estate, but it's still a much better situation for PP than what PP has described. PP's mom is basically cheated out of a legacy.

It's very common. Everything goes into a trust and the mom lives off of the income of the trust. When she dies, the trust dissolves and the money gets distributed to the kids. She does not have ownership over the house or the money and just gets distributions from the trust.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My siblings and I were recently informed that we will each get $100K and our two half siblings (same mom) will split the rest of the estate (about $10M). My mother and stepfather married when I was five and had two children together. We all lived in the same house together (not in the same state ans my father but we visited him regularly). Our father passed away suddenly and tragically a couple of years ago and we will receive an inheritance from him, but nothing mindblowing.

No sibling issues because no one was consulted but WTAF?

You aren’t giving us enough details. You guys all share the same mother, but not the same father. Did the father make the vast majority of the money? Did the father bring lots of family money into the family? I’m talking about your stepfather, not your biological father. If he had family money, he might be literally unable to leave money to his stepchildren. I specifically had my dad‘s attorney. Write the trust agreement so that I could leave it to stepchildren, but that’s not necessarily common.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My siblings and I were recently informed that we will each get $100K and our two half siblings (same mom) will split the rest of the estate (about $10M). My mother and stepfather married when I was five and had two children together. We all lived in the same house together (not in the same state ans my father but we visited him regularly). Our father passed away suddenly and tragically a couple of years ago and we will receive an inheritance from him, but nothing mindblowing.

No sibling issues because no one was consulted but WTAF?

You were so young when you began livng in the household with mom and stepdad. How old was your sibling? Spepfather deceased?
10m to half siblings and what amount to your mom? She had 4 kids , 2 from each DH, so what happens upon her demise?

As a child etc were you and sibling under a Cinderella Effect? Gifts, tuition?

Both mother and stepfather are still living. If he dies first, mother lives off of trust income until her death and then the money goes to the kids.

Up to 18, stepfather and father split private school tuition and father paid for trips to visit him and I believe provided some child support, covering medical expenses, etc and I am not sure what else. Once 18, father paid for tuition and gave spending money. Stepfather gave smaller amount of spending money through undergrad and grad school. After grad school, no financial support from any parents (I didn't expect or ask for any). My father did pay for family vacations and things like that and gave money for holidays--very normal, IMO, for adult children. Half siblings have received financial support in adulthood from stepfather for more daily/regular expenses (rent, car stuff, etc).

My mom left my dad for my stepdad, i.e., he basically took another man's family away. My father was extremely involved in our lives in every sense, despite living a flight away. Things seemed normal until 18 in the home with mom and stepdad. Stepdad was always a loving and involved parent. Starting at 18, financial disparity grew and was transferred to the grandkids. Much less involvement and very little in the way of financial gifts/support (token gifts for holidays only) for the children of the stepkids.

They recently discussed the estate plan with all 5 children (the 3 of us stepchildren and my two half siblings). They seemed to think it was all normal and fair because our father left us money when he died (we won't get most of it until my stepmom dies). Mom and stepdad act like it's all one big happy family. They seriously have not acknowledged that this might be a slight. Also, they asked me to be executor before disclosing the terms and I agreed. So, I have a job to do -- manage their estate and make sure the real kids get all the money. I am letting the situation die down for now, but will likely hand off this responsibility soon by telling them it makes more sense for one of the others to do it.

How do trusts like this work? Is there a cap on how much of the trust PP's mom can spend down? Who is the executor? Is everything that PP's mom gets from his estate locked up in a trust, so she doesn't have anything to give away upon her death? That seems unfair. In the blended family I know, both people have money to give away upon their death. Apply this to PP's situation - the stepfather doesn't have 100% control over the entire estate - the biological mother owns and controls 50% of the estate and can divide that 50% equally to her biological children, including the PP. Sure, the children of the mom and stepdad get more in the end because they each get 25% of mom's estate and 50% of dad's estate, but it's still a much better situation for PP than what PP has described. PP's mom is basically cheated out of a legacy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Same PP as above. Forgot to mention that my father split his estate 4 ways equally among my 2 siblings and I and our STEPSISTER (the daughter of my stepmother--no blood relation).

But that was up to him. Do you have an issue with that? Because it sounds like that’s what you want your stepfather to do so why do you have an issue with your father doing that?

Are you planning on giving your half siblings the money you inherit from your father? I’m guessing no. So to me, it makes sense that your stepfather and mother are equalizing things. Your half siblings aren’t going to receive an inheritance from another father or mother. You seem to want to inherit equally as your half siblings do while also keeping the inheritance you get from your father that you’re half siblings don’t get. And then you also seem to have an issue with your step sibling on your father side sharing in the estate.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My siblings and I were recently informed that we will each get $100K and our two half siblings (same mom) will split the rest of the estate (about $10M). My mother and stepfather married when I was five and had two children together. We all lived in the same house together (not in the same state ans my father but we visited him regularly). Our father passed away suddenly and tragically a couple of years ago and we will receive an inheritance from him, but nothing mindblowing.

No sibling issues because no one was consulted but WTAF?

You were so young when you began livng in the household with mom and stepdad. How old was your sibling? Spepfather deceased?
10m to half siblings and what amount to your mom? She had 4 kids , 2 from each DH, so what happens upon her demise?

As a child etc were you and sibling under a Cinderella Effect? Gifts, tuition?

Both mother and stepfather are still living. If he dies first, mother lives off of trust income until her death and then the money goes to the kids.

Up to 18, stepfather and father split private school tuition and father paid for trips to visit him and I believe provided some child support, covering medical expenses, etc and I am not sure what else. Once 18, father paid for tuition and gave spending money. Stepfather gave smaller amount of spending money through undergrad and grad school. After grad school, no financial support from any parents (I didn't expect or ask for any). My father did pay for family vacations and things like that and gave money for holidays--very normal, IMO, for adult children. Half siblings have received financial support in adulthood from stepfather for more daily/regular expenses (rent, car stuff, etc).

My mom left my dad for my stepdad, i.e., he basically took another man's family away. My father was extremely involved in our lives in every sense, despite living a flight away. Things seemed normal until 18 in the home with mom and stepdad. Stepdad was always a loving and involved parent. Starting at 18, financial disparity grew and was transferred to the grandkids. Much less involvement and very little in the way of financial gifts/support (token gifts for holidays only) for the children of the stepkids.

They recently discussed the estate plan with all 5 children (the 3 of us stepchildren and my two half siblings). They seemed to think it was all normal and fair because our father left us money when he died (we won't get most of it until my stepmom dies). Mom and stepdad act like it's all one big happy family. They seriously have not acknowledged that this might be a slight. Also, they asked me to be executor before disclosing the terms and I agreed. So, I have a job to do -- manage their estate and make sure the real kids get all the money. I am letting the situation die down for now, but will likely hand off this responsibility soon by telling them it makes more sense for one of the others to do it.