Anonymous wrote:Someone here has a tremendous chip on their shoulder. No matter what, they will always feel like they got the raw end of the deal; that they deserved better; that all the headwinds were on them. It's really a sad way to live life. I would never want to raise my kids with this attitude.

Racists have been saying this to Jews for years.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Someone here has a tremendous chip on their shoulder. No matter what, they will always feel like they got the raw end of the deal; that they deserved better; that all the headwinds were on them. It's really a sad way to live life. I would never want to raise my kids with this attitude.

+100. Life isn’t fair for anyone and this is not that important in life’s bigger picture. Kids should take whatever opportunities they have in front of them and run with them. There are kids at elite colleges who aren’t thriving due to different issues and then there are kids at much lower ranked Non-elite schools who’ve been able to take full advantage of the experience.

I will add that your child is watching you. If they do not get the admissions result they (or maybe you) want, you need to let them grieve for a couple days then focus on the positive and get them excited about the options they do have. It’s hard because a lot of these kids have never failed before (although I don’t consider it a failure). Acknowledge that the result may seem unfair and arbitrary but the colleges have their reasons and move on. Visit the options, get them to engage with students and faculty where they have been accepted, go to admitted students day. Don’t dwell or let them dwell on what they did not get. It is not healthy for them. They need to learn resilience and not just sitting around sulking and blaming others. It’s a lottery and they gave it their best shot. They have no idea what is on the other kids’ application or why a school chooses one over another. Parent your kid by modeling resilience.

Anonymous wrote:Someone here has a tremendous chip on their shoulder. No matter what, they will always feel like they got the raw end of the deal; that they deserved better; that all the headwinds were on them. It's really a sad way to live life. I would never want to raise my kids with this attitude.

+100. Life isn’t fair for anyone and this is not that important in life’s bigger picture. Kids should take whatever opportunities they have in front of them and run with them. There are kids at elite colleges who aren’t thriving due to different issues and then there are kids at much lower ranked Non-elite schools who’ve been able to take full advantage of the experience.

Anonymous wrote:there's not a dang thing you can do about it.

That's pretty much it, right? Mainly it seems to be a term used as a catch-all CYA by the admissions office at many schools around the country.

Sure and what’s wrong with that?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so bitter?

There are no clear "rules" or standards for admission. Two seemingly identical applicants can have two very different outcomes, leading to very logical feelings of unfairness.

They are essentially building a caste system by skin color. If you are Asian, you are the untouchables. Every bar is suddenly raised so high.

Interesting untouchable system given the large over representation they have at Ivies and other top schools…

Someone here has a tremendous chip on their shoulder. No matter what, they will always feel like they got the raw end of the deal; that they deserved better; that all the headwinds were on them. It's really a sad way to live life. I would never want to raise my kids with this attitude.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so bitter?

There are no clear "rules" or standards for admission. Two seemingly identical applicants can have two very different outcomes, leading to very logical feelings of unfairness.

They are essentially building a caste system by skin color. If you are Asian, you are the untouchables. Every bar is suddenly raised so high.

lol
Except my Asian kids and sometimes 25-30% others manage to get in!

LOL. Have you visited JHU lately?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so bitter?

There are no clear "rules" or standards for admission. Two seemingly identical applicants can have two very different outcomes, leading to very logical feelings of unfairness.

They are essentially building a caste system by skin color. If you are Asian, you are the untouchables. Every bar is suddenly raised so high.

lol
Except my Asian kids and sometimes 25-30% others manage to get in!

Racists said the same thing to Jews before.

Private schools should publish their criteria. It can be whatever they want, it’s their school, but just say it out loud.

Public schools have a duty to accept the (again, could be published) range of students who will succeed in their variety of courses. And to be completely blind to demographics.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so bitter?

There are no clear "rules" or standards for admission. Two seemingly identical applicants can have two very different outcomes, leading to very logical feelings of unfairness.

They are essentially building a caste system by skin color. If you are Asian, you are the untouchables. Every bar is suddenly raised so high.

lol
Except my Asian kids and sometimes 25-30% others manage to get in!

+1. Amazing how that works.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so bitter?

There are no clear "rules" or standards for admission. Two seemingly identical applicants can have two very different outcomes, leading to very logical feelings of unfairness.

No kid is more “entitled” to admission than any other.

Colleges aren’t obligated to admit students based on the criteria that YOU want.

Noboday believes they’re entitled to it. They just deserve the admissions more than others who are given advantages for factors other than merit.

What part of "Colleges aren’t obligated to admit students based on the criteria that YOU want." do you not understand?

“Which part” not “what part”. Using “what part” you are implying there is something unspecified. Well, then I guess you are referring to the layers of bias and double standards in college admission “criteria”, which result in racism.

Translation: my kid is entitled to get in based on the factors I consider to be most important.

Correct, they can do whatever they want to do.

If you want metric driven admissions, stuck with big public schools. They don't have time for "holistic" with five digit applications. But then don't complain when your kid doesn't get in with a 4.341 and the kid with a 4.35 does.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish they would remove the aspects that a kid can never change..race, gender, zip code, rural, parents education etc. These new categories are all driven by social mobility points in the ranking systems.

All removing them would do is eliminate the ability to look at students within the context of their environment. If you do not believe that contextual environment is an important factor in assessing performance you would want this. If you are ok with the idea that top schools are more like finishing schools for the wealthy and the elite you would want this. I am fine with this because I am now one of the wealthy elite but I'm pretty sure that this exact type of self-interest is how we ended up in our current political situation.

If I wanted top schools to be finishing schools for the elite (including those who are academically sub par), I would push for TO (not blind, as TO more effectively gives false hope and diverts the efforts of the lower class strivers to test prep rather than what actually matters) and a greater emphasis on the essay (which can be "coached" i.e. ghostwritten), the right ECs (only private school counselors who are close to AOs know which ones are the "right" kind are, and they also happen to be the type that require a lot of social capital like local policy change), etc.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so bitter?

There are no clear "rules" or standards for admission. Two seemingly identical applicants can have two very different outcomes, leading to very logical feelings of unfairness.

They are essentially building a caste system by skin color. If you are Asian, you are the untouchables. Every bar is suddenly raised so high.

lol
Except my Asian kids and sometimes 25-30% others manage to get in!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is everyone so bitter?

There are no clear "rules" or standards for admission. Two seemingly identical applicants can have two very different outcomes, leading to very logical feelings of unfairness.

They are essentially building a caste system by skin color. If you are Asian, you are the untouchables. Every bar is suddenly raised so high.