Our in-laws and extended family drink a lot during reunions and holidays. We don't. We simply skip the first night of reunion as there is usually an all-nighter with lots of alcohol and we do things on our own during part of the day as well. We show up for dinner, bonfires, and/or to swim in the pool for a few hours. We may head out to the movies, for ice cream, a hike, and/or the bookstore etc. In short, we have created our own routines within the larger family gatherings. We don't care we are in the minority in that regard and we also try not to be judgmental of others, especially in public. We are not going to change them and so we tolerate it, up to a point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomer here with boomer spouse. Four adult kids all in their 30s and 40s with similarly aged spouses. They all drink much more than we do now and ever have, especially at family gatherings and vacations. But here’s the thing: we don’t judge their entire generation because of it. In fact, we don’t judge it at all. Who gives a shit? People who judge whole generations and people who drink just suck.

Boomers raised heavy drinkers. Got it.

Boomers raised fun family. Got it.

lol

Anonymous wrote:This thread is a prime example of how DCUM today is not the DCUM of older days...weird.

Anyway, I notice my parents drink more than I do. They are waspy and have their little cocktail hour each evening. They're very rigid with routines. If I opt not to drink they are kind about it but clearly irked. They genuinely do not understand that some people don't want to drink (they way it feels, calories, have to work, prefer something else). It's strange. I get a little tense at 5:15 every time I visit knowing the "Are you having a drink tonight?" is coming.

Me, on the other hand, LOVES this sort of hospitality. Visiting fun and gregarious family and in-laws is 100x better than visiting painfully boring family and in-laws.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomer here with boomer spouse. Four adult kids all in their 30s and 40s with similarly aged spouses. They all drink much more than we do now and ever have, especially at family gatherings and vacations. But here’s the thing: we don’t judge their entire generation because of it. In fact, we don’t judge it at all. Who gives a shit? People who judge whole generations and people who drink just suck.

Boomers raised heavy drinkers. Got it.

Boomers raised fun family. Got it.

Only boring, deeply insecure people need to drink heavily to have fun.

You sound like a PSA from the 1980s

You sound like the reason PSAs needed to be produced in the 80s. Don’t drink and drive. Do you know where your kids are?

I wish my in-laws drank, maybe it would make them less uptight.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomer here with boomer spouse. Four adult kids all in their 30s and 40s with similarly aged spouses. They all drink much more than we do now and ever have, especially at family gatherings and vacations. But here’s the thing: we don’t judge their entire generation because of it. In fact, we don’t judge it at all. Who gives a shit? People who judge whole generations and people who drink just suck.

Boomers raised heavy drinkers. Got it.

Boomers raised fun family. Got it.

Only boring, deeply insecure people need to drink heavily to have fun.

You sound like a PSA from the 1980s

Anonymous wrote:At beach house with my parents right now. There was a bottle of wine on my mother’s bedside table this morning (!) my sister and I have dubbed it “bed wine”
But this kind of thing has been going on for years and at age 87, she’s not changing.

Was it empty?

She just needs night peanuts and night cheese to go with it.

My in laws are alcoholics. It’s a family tradition. It’s sad and unhealthy. I feel forced to drink more than I want to on vacation with them. They want everyone to get drunk so they are not odd balls.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomer here with boomer spouse. Four adult kids all in their 30s and 40s with similarly aged spouses. They all drink much more than we do now and ever have, especially at family gatherings and vacations. But here’s the thing: we don’t judge their entire generation because of it. In fact, we don’t judge it at all. Who gives a shit? People who judge whole generations and people who drink just suck.

Boomers raised heavy drinkers. Got it.

Boomers raised fun family. Got it.

Only boring, deeply insecure people need to drink heavily to have fun.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Boomer here with boomer spouse. Four adult kids all in their 30s and 40s with similarly aged spouses. They all drink much more than we do now and ever have, especially at family gatherings and vacations. But here’s the thing: we don’t judge their entire generation because of it. In fact, we don’t judge it at all. Who gives a shit? People who judge whole generations and people who drink just suck.

Boomers raised heavy drinkers. Got it.

Boomers raised fun family. Got it.

Anonymous wrote:My 5 foot 1, 105 pound, 78 yo MIL houses two bottles of Chardonnay every single night and has for as long as I've known her (26 years).

On special occasions like xmas or Thanksgiving she ups it to three. I've picked her up off the floor probably a dozen times over the years. She has pissed herself on more than one occasion.

Leave her on the floor. Don’t clean her up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re judging people just trying to have fun on their vacation? Maybe spend the evening self-reflecting and tomorrow you can join them. Be sure to leave the stick in the bedroom.

You can’t have fun without drinking alcohol? Alcohol is required for fun? Hmmm. -NP

Alcohol has been associated with fun in most cultures for thousands of years. Don’t act like it is weird.

Every day?

Anonymous wrote:Boomer here with boomer spouse. Four adult kids all in their 30s and 40s with similarly aged spouses. They all drink much more than we do now and ever have, especially at family gatherings and vacations. But here’s the thing: we don’t judge their entire generation because of it. In fact, we don’t judge it at all. Who gives a shit? People who judge whole generations and people who drink just suck.

Boomers raised heavy drinkers. Got it.

At beach house with my parents right now. There was a bottle of wine on my mother’s bedside table this morning (!) my sister and I have dubbed it “bed wine”
But this kind of thing has been going on for years and at age 87, she’s not changing.

My parents definitely drink more now than when I was a kid. I think it’s mainly that they don’t have to parent or go to jobs every day and it’s something fun to do while they have dinner together for the 7,657th time.

My in laws drink a TON and also always have. Alcohol is a big part of their family culture. They have a ton of fun, and are very social. But also end up saying very mean things to each other. Going to bed. And not remembering when they wake up. To me, it screams of issues that today would be better worked through in therapy were left to fester for entire lifetimes. I find it draining, but actually just feel bad for them much of the time. It’s so clear they’re not that happy as people.