Anonymous
07/16/2025 11:47
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
I think it’s weird that some people think that their kids shouldn’t have to be disappointed sometimes. Every year my kids hope to get a paper plate award, and every year 2/3 of my kids get one and the same child (who isn’t as magnetic as the other two) does not. She is usually disappointed, especially when she was 7 and her 5 year old sister got one. But, truly, that’s ok. She is wonderful at other things, and we celebrate her wins (which are different) when they happen.
I don’t think it’s the swim team’s job to make sure kids aren’t disappointed. But our team has achievement, sportsmanship, spirit and most improved awards. As well as the silly paper plate awards. When our team had 250 kids, most kids got just the participation trophies, and that’s fine.
Celebrating other peoples’ wins while being disappointed yourself is such a life skill. Not to mention that you can’t choose to pursue things for the accolades, because they are totally out of your control.
I don’t think it’s the swim team’s job to make sure kids aren’t disappointed. But our team has achievement, sportsmanship, spirit and most improved awards. As well as the silly paper plate awards. When our team had 250 kids, most kids got just the participation trophies, and that’s fine.
Celebrating other peoples’ wins while being disappointed yourself is such a life skill. Not to mention that you can’t choose to pursue things for the accolades, because they are totally out of your control.
Anonymous
07/16/2025 06:22
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
Anonymous wrote:Geez I’m always shocked at how many people seem to not like their summer team and still participate
Ours is great! A meet and B meet kids are friends, A meet and B meet parents volunteer, everyone gets a paper plate award, a few kids get special awards buts its usually not the A meet kids (my kid is an A meet kid and never gets anything special and we’re all good with that)
Banquet is catered at the pool with a slideshow. It’s wonderful! We feel lucky it still feels like summer swim. Some annoying competitive parents, sure, some complain-y kids, but overall great. Sad it’s over this weekend!
+1
We have most improved in each stroke in every age group (data calculated by percent time dropped). Anyone can get it!
We have kids who swam in 2 A meets and kids who swam in all due to vacation/illness. We don’t tend to categorize as “a meet team” or “b meet team”. There is always an opportunity if your time improves. Our “mini” families are invited and those kids receive awards as well. They feel part of the team and can’t wait to join in on meets.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 18:45
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
Anonymous
07/15/2025 18:44
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
Potluck, Saturday evening after divisionals. At the pool, which is still open for anyone to swim, but the team takes over the picnic table area. Families can bring their own food if they don't want to participate in the potluck, but very few do. The kids usually see the spread and want to eat what their friends are eating.
Everyone gets recognized with a ribbon and applause. Any team records or individual / relay all star qualifications are announced (we have very few if any in a normal year, so it's a big deal for the team when anyone gets into all stars). A few special awards - high point goes to someone who swims A meets, most improved is usually a B meet swimmer or someone who swam B meets most of the season and get into an A meet near the end. Coach's helper award usually goes to a teen who hung around to help the younger kids' practices, could be any level of swimmer. Spirit award goes to the loudest and most flamboyant, regardless of swimming level. Those are the only special awards, so it's true that most swimmers don't get one, but they go quickly and don't get a lot of attention. Adult volunteers are recognized. Then everyone jumps in the pool for an evening swim. Fun seems to be had by all. My kid has enjoyed it when he won an award and when he didn't.
Everyone gets recognized with a ribbon and applause. Any team records or individual / relay all star qualifications are announced (we have very few if any in a normal year, so it's a big deal for the team when anyone gets into all stars). A few special awards - high point goes to someone who swims A meets, most improved is usually a B meet swimmer or someone who swam B meets most of the season and get into an A meet near the end. Coach's helper award usually goes to a teen who hung around to help the younger kids' practices, could be any level of swimmer. Spirit award goes to the loudest and most flamboyant, regardless of swimming level. Those are the only special awards, so it's true that most swimmers don't get one, but they go quickly and don't get a lot of attention. Adult volunteers are recognized. Then everyone jumps in the pool for an evening swim. Fun seems to be had by all. My kid has enjoyed it when he won an award and when he didn't.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 18:31
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
Anonymous wrote:Our team is at the other end….Awards for everyone, which makes for a ridiculously long awards portion of the ceremony.
We have participation medals, paper plates, coaches award for each age group, high point winner for each age group, most spirited for each age group, most improved each age group, award for completing all 4 strokes legally, and record breaker awards. If you want an award, it would be hard not to earn one.
This is us too at a church hall. My B meet swimmer loves it. There is a dance party afterwards. She looks forward to it every year and dresses up and cheers on all her friends.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 18:17
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Our team forgot my 9-10 DD during paper plate awards last year even though she went to every swimmer. They have the kids sit by the coaches separate from the parents for awards. It was so hard when they got to the next age group up and then the next and I had to watch my DD's face as she first was confused and then crushed. She was at every practice and meet but wasn't a standout.
That is great parenting and great coaching.
At the very end when everything was breaking up, an assistant coach saw my DD, realized her mistake, and tried to give her one of the little gag gifts that were for special shoutouts. To DD's credit, she said no thank you, thanked the coaches, and we left.
Banquet season sucks.
Very proud of your daughter. She was disrespected by being forgotten. Absent an apology from the coaches and team reps, I would have looked to switch teams.
Um...how about explaining to her that people make mistakes? The week of divisionals is absolutely insane in terms of behind the scenes preparations for divisionals itself, regular practices, and all the prep that goes into the awards ceremony. I did not appreciate what a gigantic effort it entails until a few summers ago.
Make a frickin checklist with all the kids names. It’s not that hard.
I agree. Offering a joke award to cover for such a lapse just amplifies the mistake. Someone should have a list of names that corresponds to the paper plate awards. A genuine apology from the head coach was owed, but it sounds like that didn't happen.
If that happened to my kid, I would have an unkind word with the head coach, especially if I was a team rep.
Agreed. "A lot going on" is not an excuse for a lapse like that, not when it leads to excluding a kid. That's the kind of thing that needs to take precedence.
We do paper plate awards and last year, three of our junior coaches - all teenage boys - sat down one afternoon and made every single award. They were all personal. They got a standing ovation when our head coach told everyone at the banquet.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 18:10
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
Our team is at the other end….Awards for everyone, which makes for a ridiculously long awards portion of the ceremony.
We have participation medals, paper plates, coaches award for each age group, high point winner for each age group, most spirited for each age group, most improved each age group, award for completing all 4 strokes legally, and record breaker awards. If you want an award, it would be hard not to earn one.
We have participation medals, paper plates, coaches award for each age group, high point winner for each age group, most spirited for each age group, most improved each age group, award for completing all 4 strokes legally, and record breaker awards. If you want an award, it would be hard not to earn one.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 17:53
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
We used to do potluck but started doing catering a few years ago. This year it’s $13 a person, which is pretty reasonable for dinner and cake.
The food is nice and the slideshow is always a highlight. But I’m with some other posters that I hate the awards. We don’t do paper plate awards. They do high point trophies and a handful of other awards that tend to go to the younger swimmers. Everyone gets a certificate and a patch for their swim bag, which is pretty ridiculous considering how few kids actually put them on their swim bags (younger/summer only swimmers don’t always have swim bags and the older/club swimmers don’t care). They also hand out the divisionals ribbons/medals. Was sitting behind a group of teen swimmers last year who were discussing that they’ll never get awards. They don’t have high points - they score a couple of points each week - and there’s no award to recognize kids who consistently come to practice and are good teammates.
We attend because my swimmer likes hanging with her friends (& I like the other parents on the team) but I would not be sad if she decided not to attend.
The food is nice and the slideshow is always a highlight. But I’m with some other posters that I hate the awards. We don’t do paper plate awards. They do high point trophies and a handful of other awards that tend to go to the younger swimmers. Everyone gets a certificate and a patch for their swim bag, which is pretty ridiculous considering how few kids actually put them on their swim bags (younger/summer only swimmers don’t always have swim bags and the older/club swimmers don’t care). They also hand out the divisionals ribbons/medals. Was sitting behind a group of teen swimmers last year who were discussing that they’ll never get awards. They don’t have high points - they score a couple of points each week - and there’s no award to recognize kids who consistently come to practice and are good teammates.
We attend because my swimmer likes hanging with her friends (& I like the other parents on the team) but I would not be sad if she decided not to attend.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 17:08
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
Anonymous wrote:Our team has our banquet at the pool and the pool closes early for this event. It is always about 105 degrees and steamy. It is catered and this year costs $28/person. You do have the option to attend for free and bring your own food, but I'm involved enough to know that would be frowned upon. (It is really there for the people who keep kosher or have serious food allergies.)
Every year I pray for rain on banquet night and hope that it gets cancelled.
You might be in luck if your banquet is on Sunday night.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 16:13
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
Our team has our banquet at the pool and the pool closes early for this event. It is always about 105 degrees and steamy. It is catered and this year costs $28/person. You do have the option to attend for free and bring your own food, but I'm involved enough to know that would be frowned upon. (It is really there for the people who keep kosher or have serious food allergies.)
Every year I pray for rain on banquet night and hope that it gets cancelled.
Every year I pray for rain on banquet night and hope that it gets cancelled.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 16:07
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Our team forgot my 9-10 DD during paper plate awards last year even though she went to every swimmer. They have the kids sit by the coaches separate from the parents for awards. It was so hard when they got to the next age group up and then the next and I had to watch my DD's face as she first was confused and then crushed. She was at every practice and meet but wasn't a standout.
At the very end when everything was breaking up, an assistant coach saw my DD, realized her mistake, and tried to give her one of the little gag gifts that were for special shoutouts. To DD's credit, she said no thank you, thanked the coaches, and we left.
Banquet season sucks.
Very proud of your daughter. She was disrespected by being forgotten. Absent an apology from the coaches and team reps, I would have looked to switch teams.
Um...how about explaining to her that people make mistakes? The week of divisionals is absolutely insane in terms of behind the scenes preparations for divisionals itself, regular practices, and all the prep that goes into the awards ceremony. I did not appreciate what a gigantic effort it entails until a few summers ago.
Make a frickin checklist with all the kids names. It’s not that hard.
I agree. Offering a joke award to cover for such a lapse just amplifies the mistake. Someone should have a list of names that corresponds to the paper plate awards. A genuine apology from the head coach was owed, but it sounds like that didn't happen.
If that happened to my kid, I would have an unkind word with the head coach, especially if I was a team rep.
Agreed. "A lot going on" is not an excuse for a lapse like that, not when it leads to excluding a kid. That's the kind of thing that needs to take precedence.
We do paper plate awards and last year, three of our junior coaches - all teenage boys - sat down one afternoon and made every single award. They were all personal. They got a standing ovation when our head coach told everyone at the banquet.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 16:06
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
We have our banquet in a community room, church, or school (free rental) and families bring their own suppers. Awards start quickly, no high point awards, all divisional and ASR medals are given to swimmers, along with a certificate, as we call their names. We have a few awards that are specific to a swimmer’s character and leadership. Then we have a slide show that has at least one photo of every single swimmer, and limits to 2-3 max of any swimmer. Clean up, and have ice cream/Kona ice/similar afterward.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 16:01
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
Anonymous wrote:Flashback. Every year as a mediocre swimmer I would get so irrationally hyped before the banquet would just hope and hope that I would win a real award. The coaches would push coming to the last practices even if you didn’t qualify, and I was always there like an eager fool hoping to put in the last bits of work before the banquet.
Maybe it would be the year a coach finally noticed my hard work even if my times sucked? Maybe there would be new award categories?!
Our pool awarded trophies to everyone with a base size that reflected how well you did. I always got the flat plain base participation trophy with the swimmer statue glued directly on it. Some years they did away with that and just did participation certificates. I hated my brother and the girls who got the super tall colored trophies for high points and stuff. The worst were the years when one kid would get both high points and most improved. I know trophies are a dime a dozen now and kids get them for breathing, but back then kids actually displayed and compared them and they were rare. My team wasn’t the best but somehow my age group had girls who went on to D1 and top D3s.
I quit the year after I was a 13-14 and they gave me a made-up trophy because there were only 3 girls in my age group and I didn’t get high points or most improved. For many years after 9-10s my brother was the only boy in his age group and also did dive and would be given a box for his awards at the end of the night. My parents would make me wait while they took a million photos of him on the pool steps with his hardware.
I remember crying in my bed after those stupid banquets!
Unfortunately, it is still the same as you describe.
Anonymous
07/15/2025 15:58
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
Anonymous wrote:Flashback. Every year as a mediocre swimmer I would get so irrationally hyped before the banquet would just hope and hope that I would win a real award. The coaches would push coming to the last practices even if you didn’t qualify, and I was always there like an eager fool hoping to put in the last bits of work before the banquet.
Maybe it would be the year a coach finally noticed my hard work even if my times sucked? Maybe there would be new award categories?!
Our pool awarded trophies to everyone with a base size that reflected how well you did. I always got the flat plain base participation trophy with the swimmer statue glued directly on it. Some years they did away with that and just did participation certificates. I hated my brother and the girls who got the super tall colored trophies for high points and stuff. The worst were the years when one kid would get both high points and most improved. I know trophies are a dime a dozen now and kids get them for breathing, but back then kids actually displayed and compared them and they were rare. My team wasn’t the best but somehow my age group had girls who went on to D1 and top D3s.
I quit the year after I was a 13-14 and they gave me a made-up trophy because there were only 3 girls in my age group and I didn’t get high points or most improved. For many years after 9-10s my brother was the only boy in his age group and also did dive and would be given a box for his awards at the end of the night. My parents would make me wait while they took a million photos of him on the pool steps with his hardware.
I remember crying in my bed after those stupid banquets!
DCUM is here for you, but have you talked this through with your therapist?
Anonymous
07/15/2025 15:15
Subject: End of Year Banquet Questions
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Our team forgot my 9-10 DD during paper plate awards last year even though she went to every swimmer. They have the kids sit by the coaches separate from the parents for awards. It was so hard when they got to the next age group up and then the next and I had to watch my DD's face as she first was confused and then crushed. She was at every practice and meet but wasn't a standout.
At the very end when everything was breaking up, an assistant coach saw my DD, realized her mistake, and tried to give her one of the little gag gifts that were for special shoutouts. To DD's credit, she said no thank you, thanked the coaches, and we left.
Banquet season sucks.
Very proud of your daughter. She was disrespected by being forgotten. Absent an apology from the coaches and team reps, I would have looked to switch teams.
Um...how about explaining to her that people make mistakes? The week of divisionals is absolutely insane in terms of behind the scenes preparations for divisionals itself, regular practices, and all the prep that goes into the awards ceremony. I did not appreciate what a gigantic effort it entails until a few summers ago.
The parent shouldn't be the one who explains that. It should be the head coach along with an apology.