I mean, seems nanny figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask. She could probably use the money, but it sucks to unexpectedly have these vacation days suddenly taken away. Nanny may never be able to afford to just take this trip independently w her DD. So she wants to make this unexpected additional work request a little bit special, by getting together for dinner after work, providing her daughter w this special opportunity to sightsee or hang out on the beach or whatever. Is it so hard to just add some extra $/day for the daughter, and let your nanny know that any additional expenses for her are their responsibility? And throw in like one really nice dinner as your treat towards the end of the trip etc?

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We're not asking the nanny to travel with us for free. Extra pay, per diems, etc. are all included because we know this is work. My question was about the teenaged child who has another parent at home and to get a temperature check on what others would do in this situation and if others think it's an unusual request for the nanny to make.

Anyway, sounds like there's no clear consensus and we wouldn't be unreasonable for saying no, so we'll weigh the pros and cons and make a decision. Thanks to those who provided constructive feedback.

I wouldn't bring a nanny or babysitter so its a non-issue. I don't think its unreasonable.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. As additional context, the nanny and her husband live together with their kids. The kids who still live at home are high school aged or older. My impression is the DD simply would like to join her mom on this trip. Nanny contract does not require vacation work, so this is an additional request. This would have no impact on vacation to which she is otherwise entitled. We take more than one vacation per year, and she'll have time off the next time we vacation without her, in addition to other time off to which she's entitled.

Side note, I am chuckling at the suggestion that people who have means to live comfortably are not entitled to try to save money where they can.

The easy way to save is not to bring a nanny on vacation, especially when that should be family time. If you have the means, allow the teen to come OR decline and find someone else if you want a nanny. Remember you don't pay the nanny much so they aren't going to get vacations and this really is not a vacation for them. It would be nice for nanny to have extra help as its hard working 24-7 a day without a break.

Anonymous wrote:Nannies usually do not bring their children on their bosses' vacation, even teens who are self-sufficient and do not get in the way.

But if you are kind-hearted and the teen is well-behaved, then it could work out. It would just be very unusual.

Then, don't invite a nanny with her own kids or pay her enough to hire someone to care for her kids while she is away.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. As additional context, the nanny and her husband live together with their kids. The kids who still live at home are high school aged or older. My impression is the DD simply would like to join her mom on this trip. Nanny contract does not require vacation work, so this is an additional request. This would have no impact on vacation to which she is otherwise entitled. We take more than one vacation per year, and she'll have time off the next time we vacation without her, in addition to other time off to which she's entitled.

Side note, I am chuckling at the suggestion that people who have means to live comfortably are not entitled to try to save money where they can.

Side note - I am chuckling at your implied suggestion that the nanny's kids don't have the right to want to spend time with their mom. Nanny should turn you down.

I don't think you read well. She has the right to want to spend time with her mother, but she does not have the right to go to work with her mother. Do yours?

This only makes sense if the nanny is expected to work all day every day. I just brought a family member on a work trip to hang out with during my off hours. It made being there much more enjoyable.

Anonymous wrote:We asked our nanny to come with us on vacation to help with the kids. She asked if she can bring her teenage DD with her and cover her costs (meals, etc.). In addition to transportation challenges and changing the group dynamics, I question whether we’ll actually end up paying for her DD’s meals, given the practicalities and because we’re likely eating at some not so cheap places given where we’re vacationing.

What would you do?

You shouldn't have even asked your nanny given she has her own child. Its not reasonable to expect her to arrange child care so you can have a vacation and not care for your kids. You pay for everything for both of them. You can give her money to go out and eat with her child alone vs. them being with you 24-7/

Anonymous wrote:Since the teen has another parent at home to supervise them, then if I were OP I would say no to this request. I would not enjoy my vacation with a random teen tagging along.

This isn’t a random teen. This is the daughter of the woman who wipes your kids’ butts.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. As additional context, the nanny and her husband live together with their kids. The kids who still live at home are high school aged or older. My impression is the DD simply would like to join her mom on this trip. Nanny contract does not require vacation work, so this is an additional request. This would have no impact on vacation to which she is otherwise entitled. We take more than one vacation per year, and she'll have time off the next time we vacation without her, in addition to other time off to which she's entitled.

Side note, I am chuckling at the suggestion that people who have means to live comfortably are not entitled to try to save money where they can.

Chuckle, chuckle. Your nanny is trying to accommodate your vacation schedule and your preference for not having to care for your children during this vacation, a “request” which falls outside the scope of her employment contract. In return, you presume to know your nanny’s family dynamics and show no empathy or generosity whatsoever for her family. That is just hilarious.

Anonymous wrote:OP's children are cared for by the nanny and OP doesn't even want to take care of them during a family vacation so why would you expect her to be interested in taking care of her nanny's daughter even if its paying for occasional meals?

OP, think of it as having an extra helper with you and count meal cost as her compensation.

Yeah, frankly it's just kind of sad that OP can't be without childcare on a vacation.

Anonymous wrote:You're asking for her to basically be in 24 hours a day, as she's away from her home and can't leave her daughter. Paying the daughter's expenses is basically bare minimum, the nanny should also get a premium for travel.

Or you know, just take care of your own kids.

This.

It sounds like either you need to pay for the daughter or the nanny can't travel and leave her teenage dd at home by herself OP.

If you don't want to have the teenager dd travel with you, it might be best if the nanny gets a week off and you take care of your own kids.

Anonymous wrote:To be fair would you expect your company to pay for your daughter if she is tagging aling on a work trip? No.

...but the nanny isn't asking OP to pay. OP is worrying that she'll end up picking up the tab on expensive dinners, and OP is asking the nanny to work on one of her only weeks off in the whole year. If OP is worried about paying for an expensive dinner, she can release the nanny and daughter to go to the crab shack while she and her own kids go to a fancy dinner.

To be fair would you expect your company to pay for your daughter if she is tagging aling on a work trip? No.

OP's children are cared for by the nanny and OP doesn't even want to take care of them during a family vacation so why would you expect her to be interested in taking care of her nanny's daughter even if its paying for occasional meals?

OP, think of it as having an extra helper with you and count meal cost as her compensation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She can’t just leave her teen alone. If you want nanny to go I think you should pay for the daughter to go as well.

"How is that MY problem?" is what OP is thinking.

Why is it the nannies' problem, is what normal parents are thinking.