Anonymous
06/17/2025 15:58
Subject: Rush coach
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What about for a DMV boy heading to an SEC school? Any tips to get into a top frat?
He won't. But he needs to be open to any of them.
Even if he is a sporty, rich, attractive, private school kid?
Not enough of he’s OOS and not connected. Southerners don’t care how rich you are or what your last name is unless they already know your family and status.
You can be a rich CCC member from a private school, but unless you have a social connection, it does not matter. At all.
Non-rich kids get into the best houses all the time because of their last name and who they know or because their great-granddaddy was a judge in Jackson/Mobile, descendant of a founding family for the capital city, etc. or their family used to be wealthy and lost all their money through the generations (name matters more than money.)
It’s all about who you know and who you are related to. They do not know or care about OOS country club/private school selectivity or your Mayflower last name - unless you settled in their state and deeply know locals.
That said, it’s MUCH easier for the boys than the girls.
So this is what I’m judgmental of—the fact that Greek life at these schools is primarily a way to perpetuate the Confederate aristocracy. Some real Lost Cause sh*t.
No, that's not it. It's focused on who you know in that State. It's not North vs. South. Georgia sororities aren't likely to give a lot of weight to someone from Arkansas who they don't know.
Although coming in as a holier-than-thou liberal elite from the Northeast isn't likely to win over people from most of the rest of the country.
Call it what you want be it’s 100% insular and yes, it’s about perpetuating the confederate aristocracy. At least for the “old row” houses. They are prosperity Christians now. The southern upper/UM old money class will NOT go of their “roots”. They still operate by having numerous private social clubs/groups and do not let “outsiders” in no matter how much money and status they have if it’s not “old southern money” status.
It’s not “against the North”, it’s about fiercely wielding social power to benefit their own tight circle and a complete disinterest in the rest of the country.
Who’s your daddy? That’s all that matters.
Anonymous
06/17/2025 15:06
Subject: Rush coach
"Non-rich kids get into the best houses all the time because of their last name and who they know or because their great-granddaddy was a judge in Jackson/Mobile, descendant of a founding family for the capital city, etc. or their family used to be wealthy and lost all their money through the generations (name matters more than money.)"
From my personal, recent experience, that stereotype of an SEC fraternity caring about family lineage is limited to at most 1 fraternity on campus (maybe 2-3 at Alabama). If your frame of reference is when you were on campus in the 90s, its a totally different era.
Its much more common for kids from NY/NJ/MD/VA to move to Tuscaloosa, Athens, and Nashville (Vandy) then anytime in the past century. Our neighbor's son is adopted from Korea and he had zero issues rushing at U of Georgia last year, and roughly 1/3 of his rush friends were from the Northeast or West Coast.
So if your granddaddy wasn't fishing with Forrest Gump, playing ball for Bear Bryant, and doesn't know how to boil a crawfish, you're not going to be alone.
From my personal, recent experience, that stereotype of an SEC fraternity caring about family lineage is limited to at most 1 fraternity on campus (maybe 2-3 at Alabama). If your frame of reference is when you were on campus in the 90s, its a totally different era.
Its much more common for kids from NY/NJ/MD/VA to move to Tuscaloosa, Athens, and Nashville (Vandy) then anytime in the past century. Our neighbor's son is adopted from Korea and he had zero issues rushing at U of Georgia last year, and roughly 1/3 of his rush friends were from the Northeast or West Coast.
So if your granddaddy wasn't fishing with Forrest Gump, playing ball for Bear Bryant, and doesn't know how to boil a crawfish, you're not going to be alone.
Anonymous
06/17/2025 13:39
Subject: Rush coach
Regardless of where you rush, make sure your IG profile is solid. I think this is true for sororities and fraternities.
For some big schools, the first round of rush is basically a yes or no based on your social media.
And stop with the histrionics, SEC Greek Life does not have a monopoly on judging and exclusion practices. MY New England ILs basically wrote me off from day one because I wasn't a scientist or obsessed over horticulture. The day I brought JIF peanut butter into their house I was written out of the will. (FWIW, I'm still happily married 20 years later and their son loves my peanut butter and me.)
Every group chooses their metric for inclusion or exclusion. Either play or don't.
For some big schools, the first round of rush is basically a yes or no based on your social media.
And stop with the histrionics, SEC Greek Life does not have a monopoly on judging and exclusion practices. MY New England ILs basically wrote me off from day one because I wasn't a scientist or obsessed over horticulture. The day I brought JIF peanut butter into their house I was written out of the will. (FWIW, I'm still happily married 20 years later and their son loves my peanut butter and me.)
Every group chooses their metric for inclusion or exclusion. Either play or don't.
Anonymous
06/17/2025 12:41
Subject: Rush coach
I was not thrilled that my son wanted to rush at a Big 10 school. (more my fears of hazing)
But he is now way more involved in school activities (fundraisers, attending games other than football and school spirit.)
Before he just hung out in dorm basements playing poker
But he is now way more involved in school activities (fundraisers, attending games other than football and school spirit.)
Before he just hung out in dorm basements playing poker
Anonymous
06/17/2025 12:07
Subject: Rush coach
So what is Greek life/rush process like at, say, a northeast LAC vs a southern SEC-type school?
Anonymous
06/17/2025 10:07
Subject: Rush coach
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I had no idea Southern culture was like this- not being open to different peoples who may come from different backgrounds and have unique perspectives.
I now understand from this post, southerners at least at these schools, like only white people who are from local families with a particular pedigree. And if you’re not that, you’re automatically second class. This is the very definition of elitism of a whole new level. Thank you for this stern warning about what it is like to attend a school in the south.
I’m neither southern nor was I in a sorority, but let’s be real—this is pretty much human nature. Not unique to the American South. Tribalism.
Maybe it is common but not universal.
But did not experience these kind of elitist attitudes at my highly ranked midwestern school.
Nobody cared what family or what state you were from.
Anonymous
06/17/2025 10:04
Subject: Rush coach
Anonymous wrote:I had no idea Southern culture was like this- not being open to different peoples who may come from different backgrounds and have unique perspectives.
I now understand from this post, southerners at least at these schools, like only white people who are from local families with a particular pedigree. And if you’re not that, you’re automatically second class. This is the very definition of elitism of a whole new level. Thank you for this stern warning about what it is like to attend a school in the south.
I mean, it's not a new level at all. There is plenty of racial and cultural elitism reflected in institutions and groups in other areas of the country too. One difference with southerners though is they don't take themselves too seriously and they do have a good time.
Anonymous
06/17/2025 09:51
Subject: Rush coach
Anonymous wrote:I had no idea Southern culture was like this- not being open to different peoples who may come from different backgrounds and have unique perspectives.
I now understand from this post, southerners at least at these schools, like only white people who are from local families with a particular pedigree. And if you’re not that, you’re automatically second class. This is the very definition of elitism of a whole new level. Thank you for this stern warning about what it is like to attend a school in the south.
I’m neither southern nor was I in a sorority, but let’s be real—this is pretty much human nature. Not unique to the American South. Tribalism.
Anonymous
06/17/2025 09:46
Subject: Rush coach
I had no idea Southern culture was like this- not being open to different peoples who may come from different backgrounds and have unique perspectives.
I now understand from this post, southerners at least at these schools, like only white people who are from local families with a particular pedigree. And if you’re not that, you’re automatically second class. This is the very definition of elitism of a whole new level. Thank you for this stern warning about what it is like to attend a school in the south.
I now understand from this post, southerners at least at these schools, like only white people who are from local families with a particular pedigree. And if you’re not that, you’re automatically second class. This is the very definition of elitism of a whole new level. Thank you for this stern warning about what it is like to attend a school in the south.
Anonymous
06/17/2025 08:39
Subject: Rush coach
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What about for a DMV boy heading to an SEC school? Any tips to get into a top frat?
He won't. But he needs to be open to any of them.
Even if he is a sporty, rich, attractive, private school kid?
Not enough of he’s OOS and not connected. Southerners don’t care how rich you are or what your last name is unless they already know your family and status.
You can be a rich CCC member from a private school, but unless you have a social connection, it does not matter. At all.
Non-rich kids get into the best houses all the time because of their last name and who they know or because their great-granddaddy was a judge in Jackson/Mobile, descendant of a founding family for the capital city, etc. or their family used to be wealthy and lost all their money through the generations (name matters more than money.)
It’s all about who you know and who you are related to. They do not know or care about OOS country club/private school selectivity or your Mayflower last name - unless you settled in their state and deeply know locals.
That said, it’s MUCH easier for the boys than the girls.
So this is what I’m judgmental of—the fact that Greek life at these schools is primarily a way to perpetuate the Confederate aristocracy. Some real Lost Cause sh*t.
No, that's not it. It's focused on who you know in that State. It's not North vs. South. Georgia sororities aren't likely to give a lot of weight to someone from Arkansas who they don't know.
Although coming in as a holier-than-thou liberal elite from the Northeast isn't likely to win over people from most of the rest of the country.
Anonymous
06/17/2025 08:29
Subject: Rush coach
This is utterly ridiculous.
Anonymous
06/17/2025 08:21
Subject: Rush coach
Wow. No words.
Anonymous
06/17/2025 08:17
Subject: Rush coach
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:What about for a DMV boy heading to an SEC school? Any tips to get into a top frat?
He won't. But he needs to be open to any of them.
Even if he is a sporty, rich, attractive, private school kid?
Not enough of he’s OOS and not connected. Southerners don’t care how rich you are or what your last name is unless they already know your family and status.
You can be a rich CCC member from a private school, but unless you have a social connection, it does not matter. At all.
Non-rich kids get into the best houses all the time because of their last name and who they know or because their great-granddaddy was a judge in Jackson/Mobile, descendant of a founding family for the capital city, etc. or their family used to be wealthy and lost all their money through the generations (name matters more than money.)
It’s all about who you know and who you are related to. They do not know or care about OOS country club/private school selectivity or your Mayflower last name - unless you settled in their state and deeply know locals.
That said, it’s MUCH easier for the boys than the girls.
So this is what I’m judgmental of—the fact that Greek life at these schools is primarily a way to perpetuate the Confederate aristocracy. Some real Lost Cause sh*t.
Anonymous
06/17/2025 08:10
Subject: Rush coach
Wish this had been a thing when I went to school. I was from the northeast and rushed in the south. It was a horrible experience. It was pre-internet and I had no guidance whatsoever. Do not judge.
Anonymous
06/17/2025 08:08
Subject: Rush coach
Anonymous wrote:Don’t judge. A lot of moms who didn’t rush want to understand the process and there are many nasties who want to gatekeep. I will list some information in case this is helpful. Nice people feel free to add if you are coming from a good place.
1. Recommendations from alumni don’t hold much weight anymore and even less if they don’t know your kid well.
2. Caveat if rec is from an super active alumni who goes to the conventions etc but this is fairly hard to find.
3. Recs from current students helps but do not rely. Some schools do not allow
any recommendations but go ahead and get rush chair email and send if your want and they keep a file.
4. What does help if knowing girls in the house and this is the biggest thing. How do you scale that mountain?? See if girls from the area are in said house. Look to see if you know girls in common and see if someone can introduce. My daughter is always open to helping girls. She gets the stress and so do most other sorority girls. They are nicer than you may believe.
5. Start following instagram of girls you may know and follow the intragram of all the houses. Do not put in comments but you can like a nice photo. Commenting is too try hard.
6. Before following on instagram get your instagram in order. Lots of friends photos. Nothing crazy and have a few friends look over for their opinion. You are communicating that you are fun and nice and don’t look like you will be a problem ie the drunk girl.
7. In a perfect world you are able to grab a coffee with some girls before rush starts. Keep in mind that getting to know new classmates is a huge bonus as they may know girls in the houses.
8. Organize your rush gear. Get a rush bag (scout/longchamps etc)to put your heels and make up. You will walk house to house in sneakers or do not try to do rush in heels because you will have blisters day one.
-white sun dress
-cute jean shorts
-black cocktail
above is a definite
-also add other cocktail depending on colors for even but it will be short and stylish but not over the top
jewelry-ask mom if you can borrow a few things or buy fakes hint most of the jewelry is fake but needs to look good so one nice price and a few fakes will do
-figure out the make up in hot weather now. Help your daughter and take her to get it done professionally so she knows how to do it. Nothing worse than looking clownish.
If you are totally clueless then by all means get a rush consultant because they may have a bunch of new alumni who can help with introductions but guessing you can really get this done on your own.
Good luck! I loved greek life and my kids love(d) it as well!!
And we wonder about the pay gap.