Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd get rid of the friend. Unbelievably entitled

For more context, she is the friend in our group that is always doing things for others. She is a type an organizer. She hosts gatherings. She organized my baby shower. And she has given me tons of baby hand me downs.

She gave you old used stuff so you think you should strip something special you gave to your husband (ie NOT YOURS TO GIVE) off the wall of your home and serve it to her? Drop her! ASAP

I would not be friends with a person like this. Rude, entitled, clueless, nagging. Ugh.

Reading these responses, I really didn’t expect it to be so unanimous.

It mostly comes down to how I was taught as a child to not have any of my own desires or needs, but to to cater to others, and even as I did, I was still made to feel as if I was a selfish person that did not meet my parents’ expectations of how I should be as their daughter. My mom is still lecturing me regularly to be selfless and cater to my husband’s and in-laws’, and her needs.

But I’m a grown-a** woman now and should be beyond all this, and I’m a lot better but not 100 percent.

I’ve always been “open-minded” and “tolerant” but I do think that is a double edged sword. I try to give people leeway and the benefit of the doubt and be understanding. But that also comes with resentment and anger when I’m unable to set appropriate boundaries and respect my own needs and wants.

Anonymous wrote:I hope you can turn the poster into a symbol of boundaries and self respect by not giving it to her

This.

I've never had a friend who wanted anything of mine.

This is a weird situation.

Next time she brings it up, just tell her you will not give away your husband's special gift and not to bring it up again. Tell her to scour the Internet and find her own poster.

I’d look on the internet for the same poster and get it for her.

It’s very aggressive and not being a friend for her to keep pressuring you and asking you about it. That’s bizarre.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No offense OP but this post is SO crazy that it cannot be true!!?? 😶‍🌫️

Okay but I WILL bite.
If this is actually a legitimate issue then you need to steer clear of this so-called “friend.”

Because friends do not ask for other friend’s personal possessions.
At all.

And they most definitely do not mention what they want you to leave them in your will!!

I could just be making a bigger deal of it than it is. To be fair, it's not like she's begging me for the picture every time she sees me. And she has only come over to my house and seen the picture maybe 3 times, and she just comments on it when she sees it. So maybe she means it as a joke or whatever when she says she deserves this poster more than I do because she is a "true" fan and that she calls dibs on it when I die and that I should put it in my will for her. She says crazy stuff like this all the time, and she is kind of half joking half serious. And maybe it is just my own issue, that it makes me feel uncomfortable when she brings it up.

Do you tend to take things VERY literally, OP? Perhaps that’s why she “jokes” that you are autistic? (Not funny, but it sounds like she has an obnoxious sense of humor and enjoys teasing you). It’s possible she has no idea that you are taking this so seriously.

Oh no, the autism comment was not a joke. She said it matter of factly like of course I’m autistic, and by the way, my husband is too and that’s how we found each other. I didn’t even know how to respond to that one. But she’s pretty much diagnosed most of the women in her life with something.

Why are you friends with this person? Some friendships have an expiration date. I would let this one die out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No offense OP but this post is SO crazy that it cannot be true!!?? 😶‍🌫️

Okay but I WILL bite.
If this is actually a legitimate issue then you need to steer clear of this so-called “friend.”

Because friends do not ask for other friend’s personal possessions.
At all.

And they most definitely do not mention what they want you to leave them in your will!!

I could just be making a bigger deal of it than it is. To be fair, it's not like she's begging me for the picture every time she sees me. And she has only come over to my house and seen the picture maybe 3 times, and she just comments on it when she sees it. So maybe she means it as a joke or whatever when she says she deserves this poster more than I do because she is a "true" fan and that she calls dibs on it when I die and that I should put it in my will for her. She says crazy stuff like this all the time, and she is kind of half joking half serious. And maybe it is just my own issue, that it makes me feel uncomfortable when she brings it up.

Do you tend to take things VERY literally, OP? Perhaps that’s why she “jokes” that you are autistic? (Not funny, but it sounds like she has an obnoxious sense of humor and enjoys teasing you). It’s possible she has no idea that you are taking this so seriously.

Oh no, the autism comment was not a joke. She said it matter of factly like of course I’m autistic, and by the way, my husband is too and that’s how we found each other. I didn’t even know how to respond to that one. But she’s pretty much diagnosed most of the women in her life with something.

Tell her you have in your will to be buried with it.

What is your husband's relationship with this woman? I cannot image he would be anything but shocked and possibly angry that she had asked for his gift to you and that you would consider giving it away.

Anonymous wrote:I cannot imagine being friends with someone like that.

I'd say one last time: The poster was a gift from my husband. It is meaningful to the two of us, and I have no plans to give it away. I'm also done discussing this.

Then if she brings it up again, give her a blank look and completely change the subject as if you hadn't heard her.

This. But change "I have no plans to give it away," to "I will never part with it." IOW, use words that leave no room for change.

Ugh, people like OP's friend are the worst. I can't keep people like that in my life. The only one I have now is the husband of a dear friend, and my dear friend recognizes that his covetous behavior is obnoxious and interjects when he tries to go shopping in our house.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'd get rid of the friend. Unbelievably entitled

For more context, she is the friend in our group that is always doing things for others. She is a type an organizer. She hosts gatherings. She organized my baby shower. And she has given me tons of baby hand me downs.

NP. That’s irrelevant. Her requests are nuts.

I agree. She has no right to ask for anything of yours. I would never waltz into someone's home and ask for artwork off their walls. She is RUDE. Drop her as a so called "FRIEND".

She's a weirdo.

A true friend would not badger you to the point of exhaustion over something you've repeatedly said no to. Stand your ground.

Anonymous wrote:Get her a reprint (even 1/3 size or mini) have it framed like yours and give it to her and hope this ends the begging.

Do not do this! Do not encourage the begging. The only way to stop the begging is a firm NO.

Get her a reprint (even 1/3 size or mini) have it framed like yours and give it to her and hope this ends the begging.