Anonymous
07/14/2025 16:27
Subject: So. Difficult.
Not OP, but does anyone know a family therapist who could help a mother/daughter with similar issues?
Anonymous
07/13/2025 18:18
Subject: So. Difficult.
1. Have DH lay down boundaries around disrespect
2. Offer a non-apology that acknowledges her feelings “it was a tough time, it must have been hard not seeing your friends.”
3. Stand up to her and don’t back down but don’t take her histrionics seriously. If she accuses you of shutting down the schools, just laugh and say something like “yeah right, just like I control the weather. No rain tomorrow!”
4. If she keeps pressing on this subject, tell her (or DH tell her) that you will not engage any longer and change the topic. If she refuses, you can comment that she seems deregulated and unnaturally fixated on past events which are unchangable, you love her anyway, and offer to pay for therapy. Make you vet the therapist.
2. Offer a non-apology that acknowledges her feelings “it was a tough time, it must have been hard not seeing your friends.”
3. Stand up to her and don’t back down but don’t take her histrionics seriously. If she accuses you of shutting down the schools, just laugh and say something like “yeah right, just like I control the weather. No rain tomorrow!”
4. If she keeps pressing on this subject, tell her (or DH tell her) that you will not engage any longer and change the topic. If she refuses, you can comment that she seems deregulated and unnaturally fixated on past events which are unchangable, you love her anyway, and offer to pay for therapy. Make you vet the therapist.
Anonymous
07/13/2025 18:17
Subject: So. Difficult.
Anonymous wrote:It sounds like Covid delayed her maturity. Although I had a deep grudge with my mom at 17 and I still have it today tbh. I just try to work around it because i understand why, but it still hurts.
I think it would help to acknowledge the hurt, note we can't go back in time and ask what she would need to repair the situation now. I do suggest you see a therapist to process.
Stop it with blaming Covid.
Her kid is a spoiled twat
Anonymous
07/13/2025 18:05
Subject: Re:So. Difficult.
I SO get you OP.
🤗
🤗
Anonymous
07/13/2025 14:33
Subject: So. Difficult.
Raise your kids. Do not expect some sort of payoff. Enjoy your life and be nice. The enjoyment is you educated them and sent them off prepared for life. Expecting some benefits, entertainment or service from your grown children is a formula for unnecessary disappointment. Any benefit is a beautiful surprise.
Anonymous
06/15/2025 17:47
Subject: So. Difficult.
Anonymous wrote:My DD, 22, is so freaking difficult. Everything I say she challenges, it’s like she thinks I am so stupid that I can’t possibly say anything that is correct. It’s so frustrating and no fun at all to spend time with her.
I feel awful saying that. She doesn’t live with us, but not far. She comes home to visit with friends, the dog, and she doesn’t have these issues with her dad.
I honestly don’t know what to do. It’s cowardly but the last time she visited I stayed for 10 min and said I had to run to help out a friend. It wasn’t true, I just got out of the house and drove around.
We had a great relationship until she was in HS during Covid. She wanted to spend time with her friends, but my MIL was living with us then and was elderly and frail, so we had to be very careful. We allowed her to see friends outside, but she thinks I am an awful person because I wouldn’t let her do what she wanted.
FWIW the MIL has since passed (not from Covid), but the only memory DD seems to have is that I was incredibly controlling over her life and ruined her entire existence.
It’s exhausting.
Wow- I feel like you are talking about my own relationship with my 19 year old daughter. The disrespect is unreal. Similar to you, mine is fine with her Dad - I'm just the issue for some reason.
Anonymous
06/11/2025 12:55
Subject: So. Difficult.
She is an adult. Kick her out and break contact.
Anonymous
06/11/2025 10:10
Subject: So. Difficult.
OP---you do not have to tolerate that type of disrespect from an adult under your own roof. Make it clear to your DH that if your DD starts down that road you are going to ask her to leave until she can be civil and he needs to back you up. Sounds like she is in the phase of "I'm now an adult so I can be as rude as I want." The way to counteract that is to say, "Yes, you're an adult. I am one too and I do not have to sit by in my house and be treated that way."