You think the U.S. values community!?!? HA it’s all about individual rights. Don’t tread on me, not don’t tread on us. No trespassing signs everywhere. HOV lanes instead of mass transit. Until recently, little multigenerational housing. Single family homes the dream, apartments and condos for people who haven’t made it yet.

The U.S. values communiry!? Please

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real communities have traditions they maintain and are helpful:

Sport team players
Church or temple or mosque active members
Active alumni groups
Sororities and fraternities
Neighborhoods that are friendly and caring/ look out for another
In person hobby groups
Extended families with traditions and gatherings

Most of these do not apply to me.

Me neither. I just stay home all the time working or watching Netflix and social medias.

Anonymous wrote:It’s basic human biology to need community. It’s not some philosophical exercise. America does not value community. We are an individualistic society which keeps us all busy trading our time to our corporate employers in exchange for just enough money to give right back to other corporations for crap that doesn’t make us happy and destroys our environment.

Most of America did value community back with people mainly had children in wedlock, or went to a place of worship weekly, or were from similar cultures.

Now the Hispanics have their community, the Muslims do, the Jews do, the Catholics do, the wasps do, and the rest of the hodge podges abandoned it all.

That said, outside of the east coast there is great school spirit, sports team pride, and community or state pride in the Midwest, the south and in California.

Here people ca. even name a starter in their mlb, nfl, nhl, or nba or flagship state school team. Heck, they probably dont even know what those acronyms mean.

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Anonymous wrote:In the US we are pushed with the idea we need community, a friend group, to know our neighbors, etc. And I don't have any of that and feel lonely. But after giving it deep thought I realized I don't WANT that and maybe I only feel lonely because I'm being told what the ideal is. So what if the ideal what more independent? Is there some society or place I could move where I could just have a dog, and see people like once a week when I go buy food and a couple times a year to take the dog to the vet?

we have no culture in the US.

Denmark, Portugal, they have communities and they have a culture.

Agree. No shared history, values, respect, language, k-12 education, foods, religion, sports, clothes, and so on.

This is kind of reductive. There is at least a majority culture that eats turkey on Thanksgiving, watches the Superbowl, celebrates Christmas at least secularly, celebrates July 4, etc. Maybe recent immigrants don’t do those things but those things are American.

I'm the OP. I eat turkey on Thanksgiving only if I'm invited to a dinner. If not I just treat it like a long weekend. I have never watched the Super Bowl, celebrated Christmas or July 4th. I'm not an immigrant.

Did you parents take you to nay if these thing when you were growing up?
Or did they poo poo holidays, big meals, entertaining, throwing bday parties, going on vacations, graduating, etc.??

I’m not the OP but people like myself from small families (only child of an only child from a generation of 5 that only one of the 5 bore children and they also had one child) these types of holidays and entertaining just didn’t happen. I think this is really something large families really partake in.

No.

You can do it with friends, neighbors, families from distant locations or small families as well.

Growing up that was our Christmas Eve- with family friends family. And here in DC we host Easter ham or Thanksgiving turkey with family friends from school and my parents love to meet gem all too if they fly in.

Stop the excuses, make some effort.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Real communities have traditions they maintain and are helpful:

Sport team players
Church or temple or mosque active members
Active alumni groups
Sororities and fraternities
Neighborhoods that are friendly and caring/ look out for another
In person hobby groups
Extended families with traditions and gatherings

Most of these do not apply to me.

Why not?

What do you do with your time? What if those can be more in person or social?

Anonymous wrote:In the US we are pushed with the idea we need community, a friend group, to know our neighbors, etc. And I don't have any of that and feel lonely. But after giving it deep thought I realized I don't WANT that and maybe I only feel lonely because I'm being told what the ideal is. So what if the ideal what more independent? Is there some society or place I could move where I could just have a dog, and see people like once a week when I go buy food and a couple times a year to take the dog to the vet?

AI communities don’t value communities

Social media ones don’t either, only for ad revenue or making a sale.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In the US we are pushed with the idea we need community, a friend group, to know our neighbors, etc. And I don't have any of that and feel lonely. But after giving it deep thought I realized I don't WANT that and maybe I only feel lonely because I'm being told what the ideal is. So what if the ideal what more independent? Is there some society or place I could move where I could just have a dog, and see people like once a week when I go buy food and a couple times a year to take the dog to the vet?

BS Americans are selfish this is why we have dumb Trumpies they aren’t inclusive community building they literally take food out of the mouths of kids while spewing they are Christians. The fake boob sycophants at Maralago with their diamond crosses are not community focused.

Liberal democrat here but what you are saying has nothing to do with political leanings. I've walked away from several liberal "friends" who care about themselves and their kids over everything. They'll happily dump their problems on you and expect favors but when anyone requests help or has needs you'll hear "I just don't have the bandwidth". Selfishness and cruelty are not isolated to one political group.

Anonymous wrote:Everyone wants "community," but for the people around here it amounts to finding someone to do my work for free. The whole "it takes a village" is code for I want someone else to do the difficult parts of child rearing and I will take the tax deduction.

I'm so cynical now but this is what the suburbs are about. The people who go on about loving their community are usually taking advantage of others. I was raised to be a helper and after decades of being taken advantage of, I don't put my hand up anymore.

300m people is too big to generalize. Some value community. Some don’t.

I feel like the US is the country that doesn't value community. Because sOcIaLiSm. People value their perceived community but the US is too full of "others" for people to want to be communal with them.

Anonymous wrote:In the US, secluded private property is the ultimate goal. We place a very high premium on exclusive spaces, personal space, and privacy. Every rich person has a compound with a gate and high hedges. Ideally on a piece of land with view and no nearby neighbors.

That's how our American elites live. Thats how the aristocracy of Europe used to live.

Well put! It sounds dreamy.

Anonymous wrote:Real communities have traditions they maintain and are helpful:

Sport team players
Church or temple or mosque active members
Active alumni groups
Sororities and fraternities
Neighborhoods that are friendly and caring/ look out for another
In person hobby groups
Extended families with traditions and gatherings

Most of these do not apply to me.

You can do that now in the US but the problem is when you get older. You might need people to take care of you. If you are healthy you don't really need people but it's good to have people in case you need them.

Anonymous wrote:I heard a good new (to me) phrase recently.
Instead of FOMO (fear of missing out), JOMO (JOY of missing out).

Right now, as an elementary school teacher with a needy spouse and a dear friend in crisis, I am desperate for quiet drama free down time in my garden. Luckily, summer is near.

Just do what makes you feel right.

I love that phrase.

And agree - I think there are lonely people who long for community. And there are people who are surrounded by folks who need things from them and need quiet alone time.