Anonymous
02/05/2026 19:38
Subject: If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
Not force my kid to work so hard during HS and live on a treadmill. College entry is overrated and college is over in 4 yrs and I wish we'd spent more time on building out some resilience, social and emotional coping skills instead.
Anonymous
02/05/2026 18:48
Subject: Re:If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
Anonymous wrote:If you have a son, have a non-PhD academic young woman review their essay and supplemental questions. DS is a great writer and enjoys doing it. He liked doing these parts of the application. DD hates writing and hating doing this with a passion. What I noticed was that DDs were much more likely to land well than DS’ app.
DS’ first draft which he thought was perfect was observational, philosophical and persuasive to his statement but was not about himself. He was answering the prompts and questions very academically. I’m sure if the department head was reading them, he would be selected immediately. There was no way this would land with a mid twenties or thirties reader looking at a rubric. His school guidance/college counselor said oh these are lovely. I sent him to his AP English teacher and she told him no way. You have to flip the questions to write about you. DS struggled with this. His next attempt was too beating around the bush, his next attempt he felt sounded arrogant. He finally nailed it. His original was 100% more beautifully written and included deeper analysis. This is the essay to turn in when you are admitted and in class. The final one was far better for the readers. He did very well.
Boys have a harder time writing about themselves, expressing emotion and hitting the right tone. It’s far more likely that a woman will be reading it. As readers spend very little time on each app, nailing tone is very important.
I think this is great advice. My son was not willing to be vulnerable and any type of self promotion sounded to him like showing off, which he hates. I think it really hurt his otherwise very strong application and he was rejected far more than we anticipated.
Anonymous
02/05/2026 18:14
Subject: If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Help DC do a lot of research earlier (for those Why essays for T25).
Review ALL drafts of essays or hire a meticulous essay editor who sees a lot of successful essays and knows what works and what doesn't.
+1 on essay review. Look at the first lines of some of these essays - I now want to read them!
https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/comments/1k3uufe/whats_the_first_line_of_ur_favorite_essay_and/
OMG I love these!!!!
What great first lines.
“At age seven, I became a prince.”
My common app essay. Pretending to be a prince in my yard when I was a kid and how the pretend kingdoms I made as a child turned into shaping the world around me and using creativity as I did a lot of public policy work in education as a high schooler.
Will either be going to Duke, Penn, or Dartmouth.
Anonymous
02/05/2026 18:09
Subject: If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
Anonymous wrote:Make better use of ED1 and ED2
this this this.
ED2....
Anonymous
05/22/2025 14:13
Subject: If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
I would learn to use adverbs
Anonymous
05/22/2025 13:35
Subject: Re:If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
Absolutely. Would've ED'd to either UVA or William and Mary. Got shut out of both. Hoping to transfer.
Anonymous
05/22/2025 13:33
Subject: If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:No real regrets. But I truly hate ED and SCEA. Both of my kids go to top 20 schools that they're happy with, so all good.
But they never got the chance to apply to MIT or Stanford bc they got in ED.
they did get the chance. they made other decisions because they thought it would benefit them (it likely did). but they had total agency in this.
Of course. But one needs to be strategic with where they apply. And there are differences with applying ED and SCEA compared to RD. It's a bloodbath out there for students applying regular decision to top 20 schools. When schools like Vanderbilt and Brown and Duke and Rice and Dartmouth are all posting sub 5 percent acceptance rates in RD, it makes you realize it's very tough out here.
Anonymous
05/22/2025 13:01
Subject: If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
Two examples from my family - neither current
But still perhaps interesting:
1. Me. I applied in an era when some of the top Ivy League schools offered guaranteed admission to certain selected candidates if they only applied to that school (think H, Y, or P). I took that offer, got in, and went. It basically got me in because the school later seriously considered rescinding but agreed to stand by the deal. And in retrospect, I was and am very happy with my choice.
I did have one second thought. I was a recruited athlete and played four years - but I was never a starter on my college team. From time to time I wonder if I should have gone to one of the NESCAC colleges where I would very likely would have started in my sport, which was very important to me.
2. My son. My own college (again think H,Y, or P) offered “single choice early action” when my son applied; i.e., you could only apply early action to that school. We chose instead to have him apply early action to several schools to hopefully damp down the pressure in the college applications of his senior high school year. And it worked. He got in early to several of his favorites: BC, ND, UVA. But not my college. I discovered later on that if he had applied single choice early action to my school, his chances of getting in would have been greatly enhanced. He was a strong and hooked candidate - just not quite strong enough for te regular admissions pool.
But still perhaps interesting:
1. Me. I applied in an era when some of the top Ivy League schools offered guaranteed admission to certain selected candidates if they only applied to that school (think H, Y, or P). I took that offer, got in, and went. It basically got me in because the school later seriously considered rescinding but agreed to stand by the deal. And in retrospect, I was and am very happy with my choice.
I did have one second thought. I was a recruited athlete and played four years - but I was never a starter on my college team. From time to time I wonder if I should have gone to one of the NESCAC colleges where I would very likely would have started in my sport, which was very important to me.
2. My son. My own college (again think H,Y, or P) offered “single choice early action” when my son applied; i.e., you could only apply early action to that school. We chose instead to have him apply early action to several schools to hopefully damp down the pressure in the college applications of his senior high school year. And it worked. He got in early to several of his favorites: BC, ND, UVA. But not my college. I discovered later on that if he had applied single choice early action to my school, his chances of getting in would have been greatly enhanced. He was a strong and hooked candidate - just not quite strong enough for te regular admissions pool.
Anonymous
05/22/2025 12:47
Subject: If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
Anonymous wrote:No real regrets. But I truly hate ED and SCEA. Both of my kids go to top 20 schools that they're happy with, so all good.
But they never got the chance to apply to MIT or Stanford bc they got in ED.
they did get the chance. they made other decisions because they thought it would benefit them (it likely did). but they had total agency in this.
Anonymous
05/22/2025 12:36
Subject: If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
No real regrets. But I truly hate ED and SCEA. Both of my kids go to top 20 schools that they're happy with, so all good.
But they never got the chance to apply to MIT or Stanford bc they got in ED.
But they never got the chance to apply to MIT or Stanford bc they got in ED.
Anonymous
05/22/2025 12:30
Subject: If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
I think this above situation is quite common. Parents should follow the kids lead on ED. Apply if its their dream school, not the "smart choice"
Anonymous
05/22/2025 12:20
Subject: If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
I disagree with most PPs and regret that my DD applied ED to NYU. She was successful and accepted her position but since it wasn't her absolute 1st choice, she now second-guesses herself if she had enough time to decide it was the right place for her or if she should have given herself the option to shoot for more options and compare.
We keep hyping it up since it's her choice now but she's left wondering what if she had waited to hear back from all the others RD.
So she regrets doing ED and says she'd only do ED for her absolute 1st choice (not 2nd or 3rd or most likely to take her) if she could do it again.
We keep hyping it up since it's her choice now but she's left wondering what if she had waited to hear back from all the others RD.
So she regrets doing ED and says she'd only do ED for her absolute 1st choice (not 2nd or 3rd or most likely to take her) if she could do it again.
Anonymous
05/22/2025 12:06
Subject: If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Apply early decision
^^^^^^!!!!!!!!
and make sure to use your ED application for a school that is a likely match for your stats. Don’t use it for a school that’s basically a lottery for tons of top-notch applicants. My DC used it for a school with a low acceptance rate and that was a mistake. Aim a little lower and lock in the best school where you are likely to be accepted.
Anonymous
05/22/2025 11:57
Subject: Re:If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
Anonymous wrote:
ED is the way to go, IMO. My biggest regret is making our youngest daughter apply to many national and local scholarships. The national ones were too hard with her stats to ever get, and the local ones are won by the same three kids from her class. Complete waste of time for her.
The only scholarships she was successful in receiving were the ones from colleges like Syracuse and Kenyon, but unfortunately, even with $30K off they are still $60k.
+1
Scholarship apps were a complete waste of time. DC would have been better off spending that time working, or anything else. Kid #2 will not be applying to any random scholarships.
Anonymous
05/22/2025 11:14
Subject: If you had to do it all over again, what would you do different?
Anonymous wrote:Apply early decision
^^^^^^!!!!!!!!