Anonymous
Post 05/27/2025 12:36     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
It's quite a well known phenomenon that people can be best friends at work and then never speak again when one of them leaves the company. Some people just don't socialize with people who aren't directly in front of them.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2025 12:35     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
He's a little shy, a little depressed, a little embarrassed about his job situation,.and probably playing video games and watching TV a lot.

This a common personality type, especially for men.

Anonymous
Post 05/27/2025 12:32     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. He came back to WhatsApp on my birthday, 8 days after he reached out to me and received my response. He sent 6 short messages, the first being "happy birthday" and the last "when do you return?" Then he sent 2 more messages a day later, and I haven't heard from him since Friday when I asked about his plans for the holiday weekend. I so don't understand our relationship.

You don’t have a relationship. He is not interested in texting back and forth with you while you’re overseas. There’s not much more to understand than that.

I don't mean a romantic relationship, just a relationship between two persons, ex-colleagues. At some point he said that we are friends but this doesn't feel like friends to me because I do have a lot of actual friends and know what friendship feels like.

OMG lady. This is how HE is with his friends. This is what friendship looks like for HIM. Not how your friend Donna, Sally, or Linda is with you.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2025 11:49     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t agree that his communication is straightforward. On the contrary. This is what’s driving her mad.

Yes he has the right to be like that.

End it. Just don’t write back again.

OP here. Thank you. Yes, his communication is very confusing. For example, he complained above loneliness to me several times but when I asked if he wants to talk over the phone, he didn't reply. He said that he is tired of being single but doesn't want to date and then added: "Maybe I've already met her". I need an interpreter to translate his cryptic messages.


That's because electronic communication is terrible for anything other than "I'm running late; be there in 10 min."
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2025 11:45     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. He came back to WhatsApp on my birthday, 8 days after he reached out to me and received my response. He sent 6 short messages, the first being "happy birthday" and the last "when do you return?" Then he sent 2 more messages a day later, and I haven't heard from him since Friday when I asked about his plans for the holiday weekend. I so don't understand our relationship.

You don’t have a relationship. He is not interested in texting back and forth with you while you’re overseas. There’s not much more to understand than that.


OP, he’s just not that into you.

Cease and desist.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2025 11:44     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
Anonymous wrote:Agree that he must have mental issues. I can understand OP feeling a connection. There’s something there or he’d have cut contact. I can also understand not wanting to give it up. I’d try to concentrate on other people though. It would be so refreshing if you found someone totally different. I think you’re wasting your time. Move on. You can still keep the memory. It will be much better for you. Do you have a friend who will talk this through with you?


Not being attached to your phone or not preferring electronic communications is not evidence of mental issues. WTH?
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2025 11:40     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
Anonymous wrote:Does anyone else find OP ridiculously annoying?


Yes.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2025 11:40     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honestly, he sounds like a nice person who is on the spectrum. My young adult son with ADHD and autism communicates in the same way. If you want to be friends (or more), please expect to do all the social heavy lifting.


He told me he has ADHD and anxiety. What would be the best way to communicate with him in order not to overwhelm him and keep it enjoyable for myself too?


It sounds like you have anxiety. Why are you expecting quick replies to casual communications? Maybe you should lay off the electronics for a while.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2025 11:39     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. He came back to WhatsApp on my birthday, 8 days after he reached out to me and received my response. He sent 6 short messages, the first being "happy birthday" and the last "when do you return?" Then he sent 2 more messages a day later, and I haven't heard from him since Friday when I asked about his plans for the holiday weekend. I so don't understand our relationship.

You don’t have a relationship. He is not interested in texting back and forth with you while you’re overseas. There’s not much more to understand than that.

I don't mean a romantic relationship, just a relationship between two persons, ex-colleagues. At some point he said that we are friends but this doesn't feel like friends to me because I do have a lot of actual friends and know what friendship feels like.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2025 11:37     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
Anonymous wrote:You need to take the hint. If he were interested in you he would reach out regularly.


No, the hint is that this is an in-person communicator. Some of you grew up with electronic communication, but plenty of people did not and just don't use it regularly in their personal lives. If you want a relationship, meet them where they are.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2025 11:35     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. He came back to WhatsApp on my birthday, 8 days after he reached out to me and received my response. He sent 6 short messages, the first being "happy birthday" and the last "when do you return?" Then he sent 2 more messages a day later, and I haven't heard from him since Friday when I asked about his plans for the holiday weekend. I so don't understand our relationship.


You are really pathetic. This is just sad.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2025 11:32     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
Anonymous wrote:OP here with an update. He came back to WhatsApp on my birthday, 8 days after he reached out to me and received my response. He sent 6 short messages, the first being "happy birthday" and the last "when do you return?" Then he sent 2 more messages a day later, and I haven't heard from him since Friday when I asked about his plans for the holiday weekend. I so don't understand our relationship.

You don’t have a relationship. He is not interested in texting back and forth with you while you’re overseas. There’s not much more to understand than that.
Anonymous
Post 05/27/2025 11:20     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
OP here with an update. He came back to WhatsApp on my birthday, 8 days after he reached out to me and received my response. He sent 6 short messages, the first being "happy birthday" and the last "when do you return?" Then he sent 2 more messages a day later, and I haven't heard from him since Friday when I asked about his plans for the holiday weekend. I so don't understand our relationship.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 20:00     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
Anonymous wrote:Let me do you a favor I wish someone did for me when I was younger: if someone wants to reach out and get in touch or reply to you, they will. It's so easy to do (and easier today than it was when I was younger).

Give it up. This kind of thing does not change. He is not waiting for a sign that he is interested in you after all. He just...doesn't feel the pull. To be social, to respond to messages, to respond to you.



Go no contact for three months and see if he reaches out. You will have your answer.

I think he likes you ok enough, but not enough to pursue anything. Maybe he's not social, maybe he's only reaching out when he is bored. It doesn't matter why, what matters is he is not keeping up his end of the kind of relationship you want. Move on.
Anonymous
Post 05/21/2025 19:21     Subject: When someone you like texts rarely
Anonymous wrote:Agree that he must have mental issues. I can understand OP feeling a connection. There’s something there or he’d have cut contact. I can also understand not wanting to give it up. I’d try to concentrate on other people though. It would be so refreshing if you found someone totally different. I think you’re wasting your time. Move on. You can still keep the memory. It will be much better for you. Do you have a friend who will talk this through with you?

Yes, I can tell that there is something there but he sends mixed signals. I just spent quite some time with a male friend discussing this situation, over a bottle of wine.