Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Then normally it is not reported as a sexual assault. But, inexperience with alcohol, strangers, and confusion about what is "normal" can lead to misunderstandings where one person may have even thought it was consensual or was too drunk to realize that the other person did not consent. Not excusing anything, but this is all a recipe for disaster. Colleges are required to publish the info within a short period of time under the Clery Act. This is not the rumor mill I am talking about--university staff sees a HUGE uptick in notifications about sexual assault on campus starting right when the students begin school. Most of these involve freshman and take place in dorms between two students. Talk to your kids instead of buying them condoms and thinking that random drunk sex is just part of your early days away from home.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

What if it’s consensual?

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

Anonymous wrote:This thread went off the rails fast. I worked in higher ed at top universities for 10 years and I will tell you that the number of sexual assault notifications during the first few weeks of school is shocking. Do not normalize this behavior. Girls get into trouble very quickly getting drunk around complete strangers and thinking this is just normal college life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a hopeful teenager. Don't worry, you are going off to college for real very soon.

Huh? Are you not aware of what’s happening at orientation?

The same thing as the rest of the year. Pack condoms and plan b for the whole year, not specifically orientation.

There are some pretty bad side effects coming out from plan b.

Condoms, pay attention to your burth control, and have enough self respect not to do random hook ups, especially while drunk. Keep your power by not being a dummy.

Are you slut shaming?

DP here. Um, I am. SOrry, but it is just not a good look for any 17-18 yr old female or male to hook up with complete strangers. It is not a good way to start the school year. How can anyone be okay with their kids doing this? THat's just gross and don't be shocked if the other kids think the same way.

You’re kidding yourself if you think this isn’t happening and it’s not just the kids that were having sex in high school. It’s not up to you decide what is or isn’t a good look for someone 18 and older. Grow up.

You grow up. Regardless of where this happens, in high school, college. It is NOT a good look and people WILL judge. Let's not pretend that when your freshman decides to have sex with a boy or decides to hook up with a bunch of randoms at a party that the other kids aren't talking or calling her names. Same thing with boys. And worse, their reputation will be tainted and no one who knows what happened is going to want to date them. Whether you like it or not, this is reality.

This isn’t true at all. You sound like an old fashioned, judgmental prude. Are you jealous kids these days are free to enjoy casual sex or something? You might need therapy.

Its not about having casual sex. Its about having sex with a stranger you literally just met an hour or 2 ago. Disgusting. Do you know how many girls get sexually assaulted in college? Stop glorifying this stuff.

You don’t understand the hookup culture that has replaced how dating worked in your day. College students consensually have sex with people they meet in bars or on hookup apps all the time. You really sound out of touch.

Sounds like you feel the need to normalize something you've done?

THIS. Or something their kid often partakes in.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a hopeful teenager. Don't worry, you are going off to college for real very soon.

Huh? Are you not aware of what’s happening at orientation?

The same thing as the rest of the year. Pack condoms and plan b for the whole year, not specifically orientation.

There are some pretty bad side effects coming out from plan b.

Condoms, pay attention to your burth control, and have enough self respect not to do random hook ups, especially while drunk. Keep your power by not being a dummy.

Are you slut shaming?

DP here. Um, I am. SOrry, but it is just not a good look for any 17-18 yr old female or male to hook up with complete strangers. It is not a good way to start the school year. How can anyone be okay with their kids doing this? THat's just gross and don't be shocked if the other kids think the same way.

You’re kidding yourself if you think this isn’t happening and it’s not just the kids that were having sex in high school. It’s not up to you decide what is or isn’t a good look for someone 18 and older. Grow up.

You grow up. Regardless of where this happens, in high school, college. It is NOT a good look and people WILL judge. Let's not pretend that when your freshman decides to have sex with a boy or decides to hook up with a bunch of randoms at a party that the other kids aren't talking or calling her names. Same thing with boys. And worse, their reputation will be tainted and no one who knows what happened is going to want to date them. Whether you like it or not, this is reality.

This isn’t true at all. You sound like an old fashioned, judgmental prude. Are you jealous kids these days are free to enjoy casual sex or something? You might need therapy.

Its not about having casual sex. Its about having sex with a stranger you literally just met an hour or 2 ago. Disgusting. Do you know how many girls get sexually assaulted in college? Stop glorifying this stuff.

You don’t understand the hookup culture that has replaced how dating worked in your day. College students consensually have sex with people they meet in bars or on hookup apps all the time. You really sound out of touch.

And that still doesn’t make it right. I have college-aged kids in sororities, and they know better than to go off with random strangers at bars. This is a serious safety issue. Yes, people do it—but let’s not pretend others aren’t watching and thinking, What are they thinking? You're completely out of touch.

You don’t get to decide what’s right and wrong. Most of the hooking up is done with fellow students, so not really complete strangers. With your provincial attitude, your kids probably don’t feel comfortable being honest about how this stuff works now. But sure, keep pretending I’m the one that’s out of touch if it makes you feel better.

You do realize that most sexual assaults that happen on campus are done by fellow students, right? You're the one with the provincial out of touch attitude.

False equivalence. The grownups are talking about consensual sex. Start a new thread about SA if you want, which is a very serious issue, but not what we’re talking about. Sober students, or students not drunk at a bar, can and do engage in hookups.

And the real grownups know this thread is about drinking and hooking up during orientation.

False equivalence, again. Moderate drinking and partying doesn’t automatically mean SA if the hookup is otherwise consensual. Once again you look clueless.

What? Who said it does? You need to read this entire thread once again. You are lost.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a hopeful teenager. Don't worry, you are going off to college for real very soon.

Huh? Are you not aware of what’s happening at orientation?

The same thing as the rest of the year. Pack condoms and plan b for the whole year, not specifically orientation.

There are some pretty bad side effects coming out from plan b.

Condoms, pay attention to your burth control, and have enough self respect not to do random hook ups, especially while drunk. Keep your power by not being a dummy.

Are you slut shaming?

DP here. Um, I am. SOrry, but it is just not a good look for any 17-18 yr old female or male to hook up with complete strangers. It is not a good way to start the school year. How can anyone be okay with their kids doing this? THat's just gross and don't be shocked if the other kids think the same way.

You’re kidding yourself if you think this isn’t happening and it’s not just the kids that were having sex in high school. It’s not up to you decide what is or isn’t a good look for someone 18 and older. Grow up.

You grow up. Regardless of where this happens, in high school, college. It is NOT a good look and people WILL judge. Let's not pretend that when your freshman decides to have sex with a boy or decides to hook up with a bunch of randoms at a party that the other kids aren't talking or calling her names. Same thing with boys. And worse, their reputation will be tainted and no one who knows what happened is going to want to date them. Whether you like it or not, this is reality.

This isn’t true at all. You sound like an old fashioned, judgmental prude. Are you jealous kids these days are free to enjoy casual sex or something? You might need therapy.

Its not about having casual sex. Its about having sex with a stranger you literally just met an hour or 2 ago. Disgusting. Do you know how many girls get sexually assaulted in college? Stop glorifying this stuff.

You don’t understand the hookup culture that has replaced how dating worked in your day. College students consensually have sex with people they meet in bars or on hookup apps all the time. You really sound out of touch.

Sounds like you feel the need to normalize something you've done?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had sex in high school and college (one boyfriend in college and a few long-term boyfriends in college at what is generally regarded as a very top university while also being a party school). There is a big difference between being sexually active and sleeping with randoms during your first week of college. Socially it is just not a good idea, and if it bites your kid (ok, daughter) in the ass, it will affect her self-esteem considerably. It's also dangerous to go off alone with boys you just met, especially when you're drunk.

Getting wasted and having literal sex with people during orientation is not something you should think is just the norm and be encouraging your kids to do (especially your girls, sorry). And I say this as a pretty permissive parent of two teenage daughters, and as someone who had sex before and during college.

At my age I am allowed to do a lot of things--I could get drunk daily and go around embarrassing myself socially at all kinds of events. Being over 21 doesn't mean this is a good idea... encourage a little judgment.

Do you acknowledge the current generation has different viewpoints towards sex than your generation?

And social media exists.

Who cares. This generation doesn’t find casual sex shameful. If you do, maybe you should ask yourself why you were trained to think that way.

They don't want passed out naked photos of themselves in a frat hosue posted anywhere though, do they?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a hopeful teenager. Don't worry, you are going off to college for real very soon.

Huh? Are you not aware of what’s happening at orientation?

The same thing as the rest of the year. Pack condoms and plan b for the whole year, not specifically orientation.

There are some pretty bad side effects coming out from plan b.

Condoms, pay attention to your burth control, and have enough self respect not to do random hook ups, especially while drunk. Keep your power by not being a dummy.

Are you slut shaming?

DP here. Um, I am. SOrry, but it is just not a good look for any 17-18 yr old female or male to hook up with complete strangers. It is not a good way to start the school year. How can anyone be okay with their kids doing this? THat's just gross and don't be shocked if the other kids think the same way.

You’re kidding yourself if you think this isn’t happening and it’s not just the kids that were having sex in high school. It’s not up to you decide what is or isn’t a good look for someone 18 and older. Grow up.

You grow up. Regardless of where this happens, in high school, college. It is NOT a good look and people WILL judge. Let's not pretend that when your freshman decides to have sex with a boy or decides to hook up with a bunch of randoms at a party that the other kids aren't talking or calling her names. Same thing with boys. And worse, their reputation will be tainted and no one who knows what happened is going to want to date them. Whether you like it or not, this is reality.

This isn’t true at all. You sound like an old fashioned, judgmental prude. Are you jealous kids these days are free to enjoy casual sex or something? You might need therapy.

Its not about having casual sex. Its about having sex with a stranger you literally just met an hour or 2 ago. Disgusting. Do you know how many girls get sexually assaulted in college? Stop glorifying this stuff.

You don’t understand the hookup culture that has replaced how dating worked in your day. College students consensually have sex with people they meet in bars or on hookup apps all the time. You really sound out of touch.

And that still doesn’t make it right. I have college-aged kids in sororities, and they know better than to go off with random strangers at bars. This is a serious safety issue. Yes, people do it—but let’s not pretend others aren’t watching and thinking, What are they thinking? You're completely out of touch.

You don’t get to decide what’s right and wrong. Most of the hooking up is done with fellow students, so not really complete strangers. With your provincial attitude, your kids probably don’t feel comfortable being honest about how this stuff works now. But sure, keep pretending I’m the one that’s out of touch if it makes you feel better.

You do realize that most sexual assaults that happen on campus are done by fellow students, right? You're the one with the provincial out of touch attitude.

False equivalence. The grownups are talking about consensual sex. Start a new thread about SA if you want, which is a very serious issue, but not what we’re talking about. Sober students, or students not drunk at a bar, can and do engage in hookups.

And the real grownups know this thread is about drinking and hooking up during orientation.

False equivalence, again. Moderate drinking and partying doesn’t automatically mean SA if the hookup is otherwise consensual. Once again you look clueless.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a hopeful teenager. Don't worry, you are going off to college for real very soon.

Huh? Are you not aware of what’s happening at orientation?

The same thing as the rest of the year. Pack condoms and plan b for the whole year, not specifically orientation.

There are some pretty bad side effects coming out from plan b.

Condoms, pay attention to your burth control, and have enough self respect not to do random hook ups, especially while drunk. Keep your power by not being a dummy.

Are you slut shaming?

DP here. Um, I am. SOrry, but it is just not a good look for any 17-18 yr old female or male to hook up with complete strangers. It is not a good way to start the school year. How can anyone be okay with their kids doing this? THat's just gross and don't be shocked if the other kids think the same way.

You’re kidding yourself if you think this isn’t happening and it’s not just the kids that were having sex in high school. It’s not up to you decide what is or isn’t a good look for someone 18 and older. Grow up.

You grow up. Regardless of where this happens, in high school, college. It is NOT a good look and people WILL judge. Let's not pretend that when your freshman decides to have sex with a boy or decides to hook up with a bunch of randoms at a party that the other kids aren't talking or calling her names. Same thing with boys. And worse, their reputation will be tainted and no one who knows what happened is going to want to date them. Whether you like it or not, this is reality.

This isn’t true at all. You sound like an old fashioned, judgmental prude. Are you jealous kids these days are free to enjoy casual sex or something? You might need therapy.

Its not about having casual sex. Its about having sex with a stranger you literally just met an hour or 2 ago. Disgusting. Do you know how many girls get sexually assaulted in college? Stop glorifying this stuff.

You don’t understand the hookup culture that has replaced how dating worked in your day. College students consensually have sex with people they meet in bars or on hookup apps all the time. You really sound out of touch.

Sounds like you feel the need to normalize something you've done?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a hopeful teenager. Don't worry, you are going off to college for real very soon.

Huh? Are you not aware of what’s happening at orientation?

The same thing as the rest of the year. Pack condoms and plan b for the whole year, not specifically orientation.

There are some pretty bad side effects coming out from plan b.

Condoms, pay attention to your burth control, and have enough self respect not to do random hook ups, especially while drunk. Keep your power by not being a dummy.

Are you slut shaming?

DP here. Um, I am. SOrry, but it is just not a good look for any 17-18 yr old female or male to hook up with complete strangers. It is not a good way to start the school year. How can anyone be okay with their kids doing this? THat's just gross and don't be shocked if the other kids think the same way.

You’re kidding yourself if you think this isn’t happening and it’s not just the kids that were having sex in high school. It’s not up to you decide what is or isn’t a good look for someone 18 and older. Grow up.

You grow up. Regardless of where this happens, in high school, college. It is NOT a good look and people WILL judge. Let's not pretend that when your freshman decides to have sex with a boy or decides to hook up with a bunch of randoms at a party that the other kids aren't talking or calling her names. Same thing with boys. And worse, their reputation will be tainted and no one who knows what happened is going to want to date them. Whether you like it or not, this is reality.

This isn’t true at all. You sound like an old fashioned, judgmental prude. Are you jealous kids these days are free to enjoy casual sex or something? You might need therapy.

Its not about having casual sex. Its about having sex with a stranger you literally just met an hour or 2 ago. Disgusting. Do you know how many girls get sexually assaulted in college? Stop glorifying this stuff.

You don’t understand the hookup culture that has replaced how dating worked in your day. College students consensually have sex with people they meet in bars or on hookup apps all the time. You really sound out of touch.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had sex in high school and college (one boyfriend in college and a few long-term boyfriends in college at what is generally regarded as a very top university while also being a party school). There is a big difference between being sexually active and sleeping with randoms during your first week of college. Socially it is just not a good idea, and if it bites your kid (ok, daughter) in the ass, it will affect her self-esteem considerably. It's also dangerous to go off alone with boys you just met, especially when you're drunk.

Getting wasted and having literal sex with people during orientation is not something you should think is just the norm and be encouraging your kids to do (especially your girls, sorry). And I say this as a pretty permissive parent of two teenage daughters, and as someone who had sex before and during college.

At my age I am allowed to do a lot of things--I could get drunk daily and go around embarrassing myself socially at all kinds of events. Being over 21 doesn't mean this is a good idea... encourage a little judgment.

Do you acknowledge the current generation has different viewpoints towards sex than your generation?

And social media exists.

Who cares. This generation doesn’t find casual sex shameful. If you do, maybe you should ask yourself why you were trained to think that way.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a hopeful teenager. Don't worry, you are going off to college for real very soon.

Huh? Are you not aware of what’s happening at orientation?

The same thing as the rest of the year. Pack condoms and plan b for the whole year, not specifically orientation.

There are some pretty bad side effects coming out from plan b.

Condoms, pay attention to your burth control, and have enough self respect not to do random hook ups, especially while drunk. Keep your power by not being a dummy.

Are you slut shaming?

DP here. Um, I am. SOrry, but it is just not a good look for any 17-18 yr old female or male to hook up with complete strangers. It is not a good way to start the school year. How can anyone be okay with their kids doing this? THat's just gross and don't be shocked if the other kids think the same way.

You’re kidding yourself if you think this isn’t happening and it’s not just the kids that were having sex in high school. It’s not up to you decide what is or isn’t a good look for someone 18 and older. Grow up.

You grow up. Regardless of where this happens, in high school, college. It is NOT a good look and people WILL judge. Let's not pretend that when your freshman decides to have sex with a boy or decides to hook up with a bunch of randoms at a party that the other kids aren't talking or calling her names. Same thing with boys. And worse, their reputation will be tainted and no one who knows what happened is going to want to date them. Whether you like it or not, this is reality.

This isn’t true at all. You sound like an old fashioned, judgmental prude. Are you jealous kids these days are free to enjoy casual sex or something? You might need therapy.

Its not about having casual sex. Its about having sex with a stranger you literally just met an hour or 2 ago. Disgusting. Do you know how many girls get sexually assaulted in college? Stop glorifying this stuff.

You don’t understand the hookup culture that has replaced how dating worked in your day. College students consensually have sex with people they meet in bars or on hookup apps all the time. You really sound out of touch.

And that still doesn’t make it right. I have college-aged kids in sororities, and they know better than to go off with random strangers at bars. This is a serious safety issue. Yes, people do it—but let’s not pretend others aren’t watching and thinking, What are they thinking? You're completely out of touch.

You don’t get to decide what’s right and wrong. Most of the hooking up is done with fellow students, so not really complete strangers. With your provincial attitude, your kids probably don’t feel comfortable being honest about how this stuff works now. But sure, keep pretending I’m the one that’s out of touch if it makes you feel better.

You do realize that most sexual assaults that happen on campus are done by fellow students, right? You're the one with the provincial out of touch attitude.

False equivalence. The grownups are talking about consensual sex. Start a new thread about SA if you want, which is a very serious issue, but not what we’re talking about. Sober students, or students not drunk at a bar, can and do engage in hookups.

And the real grownups know this thread is about drinking and hooking up during orientation.