Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 21:11     Subject: NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
A dermatologist here told me this same thing 10 years ago
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 21:10     Subject: NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:$860k is nothing. It is worse than an insult. Expecting someone to try to eek out an existence on that is simply not realistic.



Greg: I'm good, anyway, cuz, uh, my, so, I was just talkin' to my mom, and she said, apparently, he'll leave me five million anyway, so I'm golden, baby.

Connor: You can't do anything with five, Greg. Five's a nightmare.

Greg: Is it?

Connor: Oh, yeah. Can't retire. Not worth it to work. Oh, yes, five will drive you un poco loco, my fine feathered friend.

Tom: The poorest rich person in America. The world's tallest dwarf.

Connor: The weakest strong man at the circus.


One of my favorite scenes!

This person might be right that 850 is not enough for the lifestyle they want, but considering the shitshow and dumpster fire, I see in every direction I look, this person is not a primary claimant on my sympathy.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 21:03     Subject: NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The three kids is what really blows my mind. I am in Chicago, and the professionals that wanna live in the city routinely stop at two kids.

I wonder if it’s a case that they are having the third to finally get a much wanted boy or girl.


Well then she is a lawyer, apparently a good one, so you have to plan for that and make decisions. Choosing to have a 3rd means housing gets much more expensive/it's really challenging to live in only a 2 bedroom anymore.

I always tell people considering a 3rd (after two boys or two girls) to be very certain the reason they are having a 3rd is because they actually want a 3rd, not because they want the other sex finally. Because of the 10+ friends I know with 3 (where the first two are the same sex), only 1 got the opposite.



Oh, I completely agree. I just do not understand having a third kid in a major American city unless you’re willing to make concessions like living in the suburbs and/or going to public schools.

Only the truly wealthy get to have three or more kids in the city, have a nice five bedroom home, top-of-the-line private schools, etc.


What is so special about a third child that only billionaires can afford? Need another bedroom? Is a three bedroom apartment 10 times more expensive? What do you do if you get one boy and one girl in a two bedroom apartment?


In NYC, you put both kids in the same room. When one enters teens, you find a creative way to put a curtain/divider in the room and they change in the bathroom (often times there is only 1).

But yes, in a VHCOLA like NYC, adding a 3rd kid when you live in the city is a sign of wealth. Because it also can mean 13+ years of $40-50K/year for schools as well as an extra bedroom.



Why not put the third kid in the same bedroom then?
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 20:45     Subject: NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The three kids is what really blows my mind. I am in Chicago, and the professionals that wanna live in the city routinely stop at two kids.

I wonder if it’s a case that they are having the third to finally get a much wanted boy or girl.


Well then she is a lawyer, apparently a good one, so you have to plan for that and make decisions. Choosing to have a 3rd means housing gets much more expensive/it's really challenging to live in only a 2 bedroom anymore.

I always tell people considering a 3rd (after two boys or two girls) to be very certain the reason they are having a 3rd is because they actually want a 3rd, not because they want the other sex finally. Because of the 10+ friends I know with 3 (where the first two are the same sex), only 1 got the opposite.



Oh, I completely agree. I just do not understand having a third kid in a major American city unless you’re willing to make concessions like living in the suburbs and/or going to public schools.

Only the truly wealthy get to have three or more kids in the city, have a nice five bedroom home, top-of-the-line private schools, etc.


What is so special about a third child that only billionaires can afford? Need another bedroom? Is a three bedroom apartment 10 times more expensive? What do you do if you get one boy and one girl in a two bedroom apartment?


In NYC, you put both kids in the same room. When one enters teens, you find a creative way to put a curtain/divider in the room and they change in the bathroom (often times there is only 1).

But yes, in a VHCOLA like NYC, adding a 3rd kid when you live in the city is a sign of wealth. Because it also can mean 13+ years of $40-50K/year for schools as well as an extra bedroom.

Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 20:43     Subject: NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
Anonymous wrote:Ok her “draw” is 21 / month but she gets huge lump sums throughout the year. Couldn’t she budget those lump sums out to make her monthly take home closer to 30k ish? If you “make” 850 a year - regardless of how it is paid out - it’s up to you to financially plan how to spread that out. Are we saying people in sales / living off sales commissions aren’t able to own homes?


Of course she can! However, I'd suggest she try to "be able to live off of $21K" and use the rest to supplement, because in "down years" you might not get $300-400K more, you might only get $50-100K or less. Hard to live on a commission if you don't actually get paid the commission
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 20:41     Subject: NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The three kids is what really blows my mind. I am in Chicago, and the professionals that wanna live in the city routinely stop at two kids.

I wonder if it’s a case that they are having the third to finally get a much wanted boy or girl.


Well then she is a lawyer, apparently a good one, so you have to plan for that and make decisions. Choosing to have a 3rd means housing gets much more expensive/it's really challenging to live in only a 2 bedroom anymore.

I always tell people considering a 3rd (after two boys or two girls) to be very certain the reason they are having a 3rd is because they actually want a 3rd, not because they want the other sex finally. Because of the 10+ friends I know with 3 (where the first two are the same sex), only 1 got the opposite.



Oh, I completely agree. I just do not understand having a third kid in a major American city unless you’re willing to make concessions like living in the suburbs and/or going to public schools.

Only the truly wealthy get to have three or more kids in the city, have a nice five bedroom home, top-of-the-line private schools, etc.


I agree! Unless you can actually afford it, I'm not sure squeezing 3 kids into 1 bedroom in the city is a good idea. Once they hit teen years they need some form of privacy, so I'd put at most 2 kids in a room. But in reality, I'd want to move to a house in the burbs and let them all have their own room. We now live in a city in a 2bed/2bath place that is 1500 sq ft, so large for NYC standards, and when it's just the 2 of us it's great. More than a few weeks with one kid and it's crowded, add in the 2nd kid for even 3-4 days and it's too much (but then again they grew up in a house with their own rooms).

Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 20:25     Subject: Re:NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I get it. I am NYC, HHI is $1-1.2mm, two kids. After taxes (50%+), private school, our mortgage and savings for retirement and college, we have about $100k left for discretionary spending or extra savings. NYC is very expensive.
100 discretionary… poor you.


This person also feels poor after spending money on optional things like private school... I mean, that could be $100k for 2 kids. And they probably have like $500k in their kids' college savings... Both these things may be nice to have, but they're not necessities and not having them doesn't make you poor... We have a close to $400k gross HHI in the DC burbs, no private school, and not much in the kids' 529... so I did question where it's all going at some point... Sure, some of it is before/after care and camp (daycare when they were younger), but some of it is automatically saved in our retirement accounts. So saying that you don't have much after savings is also something that you should be grateful for (you're probably able to save a ton for retirement and college on that income!)
The 100K is after all that.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 19:59     Subject: Re:NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I get it. I am NYC, HHI is $1-1.2mm, two kids. After taxes (50%+), private school, our mortgage and savings for retirement and college, we have about $100k left for discretionary spending or extra savings. NYC is very expensive.
100 discretionary… poor you.


This person also feels poor after spending money on optional things like private school... I mean, that could be $100k for 2 kids. And they probably have like $500k in their kids' college savings... Both these things may be nice to have, but they're not necessities and not having them doesn't make you poor... We have a close to $400k gross HHI in the DC burbs, no private school, and not much in the kids' 529... so I did question where it's all going at some point... Sure, some of it is before/after care and camp (daycare when they were younger), but some of it is automatically saved in our retirement accounts. So saying that you don't have much after savings is also something that you should be grateful for (you're probably able to save a ton for retirement and college on that income!)
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 19:55     Subject: NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
Corporate attorneys by and large aren’t in the big leagues in NYC. They are more likely to have outsize student debt, have lower income ceilings than those in high finances, and start making significant money later in life (forgoing compound interest). OP is delusional to think they can feasibly live the lifestyle they want.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 19:25     Subject: NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
I get where the OP’s coming from, but she’s making a choice to live in NYC which is ridiculously expensive. My sister lives in Manhattan, and has 2 kids in private schools that cost as much as many elite colleges. Her HHI is $2M and they live in a co-op her DH inherited from his grandparents, so they don’t have a mortgage. She laughed when I showed her this post.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 19:19     Subject: Re:NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
Anonymous wrote:I get it. I am NYC, HHI is $1-1.2mm, two kids. After taxes (50%+), private school, our mortgage and savings for retirement and college, we have about $100k left for discretionary spending or extra savings. NYC is very expensive.
100 discretionary… poor you.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 19:14     Subject: Re:NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
Anonymous wrote:I get it. I am NYC, HHI is $1-1.2mm, two kids. After taxes (50%+), private school, our mortgage and savings for retirement and college, we have about $100k left for discretionary spending or extra savings. NYC is very expensive.


You just like to exaggerate a bit. Your effective tax rate in NYC is less than 50, more likely 40-45, which leaves you with 550-650k. Do you have a 5 million mortgage that you don’t have much left?
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 18:54     Subject: Re:NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
I get it. I am NYC, HHI is $1-1.2mm, two kids. After taxes (50%+), private school, our mortgage and savings for retirement and college, we have about $100k left for discretionary spending or extra savings. NYC is very expensive.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 18:44     Subject: NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The whole post by the NYC lawyer makes no sense to me. She basically claims that her $850k per year translates into just $21k per month take home pay. Even with self funded retirement it should be close to $40k per month after tax. The poster is either dishonest or dumb.


She didn't say that her her take-home pay was limited to $21k per month, she said her take home draw was $21k per month. A significant portion (depending on the firm, the majority of her compensation) is made through partner distributions, which may be paid in sums throughout the year, or, in some cases, entirely in the following calendar year.

I'm not saying she's right - it's tough to sympathize with someone making close to $900k each year. But when you call someone "dishonest or dumb" without either reading carefully or understanding the compensation schedule and structure she's talking about, you out yourself as being the dumb one.

tl;dr - you're an idiot.


Does she or does she not have a much bigger annual take home income than $21k/month would suggest?


Likely but impossible to know. Every firm does it differently. My husband prefers a large draw and a smaller payout vs the opposite. Once he has proven his ability to earn a certain amount several years in a row, they allow a large draw.


She must, otherwise she wouldn’t claim to have an $850k income.

If she wants to only live on the $21k, that’s fine, but don’t pretend you’re barely scraping by. Also she lost me at the suggestion that the only worthwhile houses within 1.5 hours are $2M+. Completely untrue and ridiculous.

This person is dramatic and out of touch.
Anonymous
Post 05/16/2025 18:16     Subject: NYC law partner w/ kids: "$850K gross is not enough to live on"
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:The three kids is what really blows my mind. I am in Chicago, and the professionals that wanna live in the city routinely stop at two kids.

I wonder if it’s a case that they are having the third to finally get a much wanted boy or girl.


Well then she is a lawyer, apparently a good one, so you have to plan for that and make decisions. Choosing to have a 3rd means housing gets much more expensive/it's really challenging to live in only a 2 bedroom anymore.

I always tell people considering a 3rd (after two boys or two girls) to be very certain the reason they are having a 3rd is because they actually want a 3rd, not because they want the other sex finally. Because of the 10+ friends I know with 3 (where the first two are the same sex), only 1 got the opposite.



Oh, I completely agree. I just do not understand having a third kid in a major American city unless you’re willing to make concessions like living in the suburbs and/or going to public schools.

Only the truly wealthy get to have three or more kids in the city, have a nice five bedroom home, top-of-the-line private schools, etc.


What is so special about a third child that only billionaires can afford? Need another bedroom? Is a three bedroom apartment 10 times more expensive? What do you do if you get one boy and one girl in a two bedroom apartment?