Anonymous
Post 06/06/2025 10:01     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Frumpy dad, any update?
Anonymous
Post 06/06/2025 01:14     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
I’m the Pp who suggested personal shopper at Nordstrom. You give them a budget / type of items you need. Last year I went with my sister and niece who acted as my personal shoppers. I spent $1200 and completely redid my wardrobe. I hate shopping - it’s been 18 months since that trip and I’ve bought a few things like socks / underwear since then but basically haven’t shopped and before that it had been a few years. My husband and I make about $250k combined. On average I probably spend $700 on clothes a year, I’ll just drop more every couple of years and then just fill in with a t-shirt here / sweater there. I have some things I still wear when I’m around the house that I’ve had since high school nearly 30 years ago.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2025 22:56     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:Your goal is to look young, on paper and in person. Ageism is real and a huge issue in hiring. On your resume, remove the year you graduated college; remove early roles in the 1990s. Try to sound young. Get a makeover; wear modern clothes. Cut your hair short. Remove any facial hair. This sucks but it is reality.

All of this will help unfortunately. Hey, we all can do what we can!
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2025 19:39     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You can go to school on a Pell grant and not be frumpy. You made $220k, someone who would be hired for that will have well fitting, attractive clothes, polished shoes, nice shirts. And a nice tie or two.

Back before covid I used to see people clearly not on a career ladder that went up wearing frumpy stuff from 10 or 20 years ago. Don't be that guy.




$200k is barely middle class in the DMV, OP is shopping at at old navy and H&M.


What crap. I shop at Nordstrom and Bloomingdale's. Helps we paid our house off. I don't buy bags full every week but I have good clothes.


I mean at 200k you're basically living in Ronald McDonald house
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2025 18:17     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Sign up for sitchfix, seriously
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2025 15:24     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:IDK what you did to yourself. At 51 I was young, hip, cool and trendy. 51 is like the equivalent of 30 today.

Look at this list of famous 51 year old people. Just look like them and you will be fine.

https://www.thefamouspeople.com/51-year.php


This is just mean. The OP is asking for help.

I saw a lot of parents mid-30s veer off into frumpy territory. It just gets worse with time if you start letting it go, which is easy to do because parenting and working is stressful.

At 51 he can reset. It'll be empowering OP. You can do it. The only thing I agree with is that 51 can be the new 30.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2025 15:15     Subject: Re:Frumpy old dad laid off
OP you could just be unlucky so far in a tough market. I’m actually a little older than you (woman) and I am looking after leaving govt. There are a lot of candidates on the market and companies can be super selective and have an abundance of choices. I’d recommend you just keep plugging away and networking etc

Obviously try to make yourself presentable and losing weight for health reasons is a good idea but I wouldn’t assume that’s why you haven’t gotten offers.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2025 14:23     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:Op, I’ve only read your initial post and none of the comments, but you’re quite likable and hope you’re hired soon.


I agree. Good luck!
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2025 13:58     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:51 should be below the ageism threshold. I'd focus on getting clothes that fit and a decent haircut. People aren't going to hire you for your looks, so focus on your skills and what you can bring to the company. Sounds like you are trying to blame your physical appearance and you just need to let that go.


LOL no. It's 40 based on research.


Ouch.
Gotta chill out with my villains: pennywise, Jason and Jigsaw then.
Anonymous
Post 06/05/2025 13:43     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:51 should be below the ageism threshold. I'd focus on getting clothes that fit and a decent haircut. People aren't going to hire you for your looks, so focus on your skills and what you can bring to the company. Sounds like you are trying to blame your physical appearance and you just need to let that go.


LOL no. It's 40 based on research.
Anonymous
Post 06/04/2025 13:15     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Spend time with the kids before it's too late and they're out of the house. And keep looking for a job casually. New clothes is easy.
But spend time with the kids.

If you teach, what about AP science class? No idea if that's what you're interested in doing.

Not sure how old your kids are, so you may not know yet, but counseling kids to get in to college seems to be huge business.

Nonprofit work?
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2025 22:53     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Op, I’ve only read your initial post and none of the comments, but you’re quite likable and hope you’re hired soon.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2025 20:58     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Just retire OP and enjoy your golden years.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2025 19:14     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You can go to school on a Pell grant and not be frumpy. You made $220k, someone who would be hired for that will have well fitting, attractive clothes, polished shoes, nice shirts. And a nice tie or two.

Back before covid I used to see people clearly not on a career ladder that went up wearing frumpy stuff from 10 or 20 years ago. Don't be that guy.




$200k is barely middle class in the DMV, OP is shopping at at old navy and H&M.


What crap. I shop at Nordstrom and Bloomingdale's. Helps we paid our house off. I don't buy bags full every week but I have good clothes.
Anonymous
Post 05/15/2025 18:03     Subject: Frumpy old dad laid off
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m a somewhat frumpy woman who married a tech man who went to college on a Pell grant. When I returned to work after DD #2 and was still nursing, I had a work trip come up. I used the professional shopper at Nordstrom (which is free) and left with some really great outfits that they showed me how to mix and match. It was a just a few piecess, though not cheap. I got nice slacks - one pair in black and one in back. 2 blouses, a blazer, a cardigan, and a dress. I tried it again a few years later to rehaul my work outfit, they didn’t ask as many questions in advance, and everything was awful. Like I was a 40 something Fed looking for work clothes and the woman brought in a tank top and fitted leather pants. That said, I’ve certainly thought of trying it again. For something like interview outfits I think they could really help.


Haha, the Pell grant wasn’t about my clothes, it was about some suggesting fat man can be CEOs, even short ones, but the examples given all had billionaire fathers setting them up.

I can try Nordstrom shopping, thanks.


Pp here - sorry, forgot to mention that you book an appointment in advance. I really, really hate shopping so keeping it short and focused on a specific objective helps me.