Anonymous wrote:Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It’s absolute torture to care for two people. I haven’t cheated but the amount of time I spend thinking about the other person, I might as well have.

Torture? Try being a betrayed spouse caring for kids and discovering lies and deceit and that you were in a non-monogamous sex relationship without your consent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, you guys over-think this. I love my wife very much, however, after the kids were born, she lost total interest in sex. I was in my prime (sexually) and had affairs just for the sex. As I’ve aged and my sex drive has somewhat diminished, I no longer cheat. I’m not a sociopath, or have emotional problems, I just enjoyed sex and my wife was not able to fulfill that need.

+10000 similar story for me but I’m a DW. I simply enjoy having sex.

Yeah … there’s nothing special about that as much as you want to believe it. Almost everyone would enjoy hot affair sex but only a fraction of people risk their marriages/families for it. Plus plenty of people have affairs despite still having sex at home.

Yes. It’s called “character.” Having self-control, morals and empathy. It separates humans from animals.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, you guys over-think this. I love my wife very much, however, after the kids were born, she lost total interest in sex. I was in my prime (sexually) and had affairs just for the sex. As I’ve aged and my sex drive has somewhat diminished, I no longer cheat. I’m not a sociopath, or have emotional problems, I just enjoyed sex and my wife was not able to fulfill that need.

+10000 similar story for me but I’m a DW. I simply enjoy having sex.

Yeah … there’s nothing special about that as much as you want to believe it. Almost everyone would enjoy hot affair sex but only a fraction of people risk their marriages/families for it. Plus plenty of people have affairs despite still having sex at home.

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, you guys over-think this. I love my wife very much, however, after the kids were born, she lost total interest in sex. I was in my prime (sexually) and had affairs just for the sex. As I’ve aged and my sex drive has somewhat diminished, I no longer cheat. I’m not a sociopath, or have emotional problems, I just enjoyed sex and my wife was not able to fulfill that need.

+10000 similar story for me but I’m a DW. I simply enjoy having sex.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, you guys over-think this. I love my wife very much, however, after the kids were born, she lost total interest in sex. I was in my prime (sexually) and had affairs just for the sex. As I’ve aged and my sex drive has somewhat diminished, I no longer cheat. I’m not a sociopath, or have emotional problems, I just enjoyed sex and my wife was not able to fulfill that need.

You actually are some sort of sociopath, though. You made a vow to your wife and remorselessly cheated on her to get your kicks until you just didn’t feel like it anymore. That isn’t normal behavior, guy. You absolutely have some sort of emotional problem to be able to engage in that behavior without any regret.

I don’t think my vows addressed anything sex related. I’m certain you’re perfect though.

Taking as Spouse: "I, _____, take you, _____, to be my wedded wife (husband)".
Commitment to Love and Cherish: "I promise to love and cherish you".
Shared Life (For Better or Worse): "For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health".
Fidelity and Support: "I will be faithful to you in sickness and in health".
Until Death Do Us Part: "Until death do us part".
Mutual Respect: "To love, honor, and cherish him/her/them

Even if you didn’t say the faithful line…you certainly didn’t follow the “mutual respect”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A selfish person will always say this. They don't know what love is, though.

👏🏼👏🏼

Yup. Hopefully karma comes for them. If not know now hopefully in the afterlife. One can hope.

Wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. It’s absolute torture to care for two people. I haven’t cheated but the amount of time I spend thinking about the other person, I might as well have.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, you guys over-think this. I love my wife very much, however, after the kids were born, she lost total interest in sex. I was in my prime (sexually) and had affairs just for the sex. As I’ve aged and my sex drive has somewhat diminished, I no longer cheat. I’m not a sociopath, or have emotional problems, I just enjoyed sex and my wife was not able to fulfill that need.

And you don’t think you betrayed her? Your marriage vows? What would she say?

You decided for her . Poor character.

Honestly, I think she would understand, given that physically, she had no interest.

I would venture to say that more men cheat than don’t. As such, in all likelihood, you’ve been cheated on.

Anonymous wrote:

The cause of our divorce was not my affair - never discovered - but my husband coming to terms with feeling trans. So. Accept that there are experiences outside of your own

So you have absolved yourself of all responsibility fitted failure of your marriage, despite the fact that you cheated and married your AP. How convenient for you that he provided cover for your betrayal. What about your AP’s marriage? And btw - everything you have written is a passive story, like you both lived your spouses and didn’t want to blow up your marriages but sometimes that just happens to you. Gross.

Lol, you can’t be serious.
-NP

The cause of our divorce was not my affair - never discovered - but my husband coming to terms with feeling trans. So. Accept that there are experiences outside of your own

So you have absolved yourself of all responsibility fitted failure of your marriage, despite the fact that you cheated and married your AP. How convenient for you that he provided cover for your betrayal. What about your AP’s marriage? And btw - everything you have written is a passive story, like you both lived your spouses and didn’t want to blow up your marriages but sometimes that just happens to you. Gross.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stop justifying your bad behavior and get a divorce. You don't love your spouse if you are cheating.

So you’ve never hurt someone you loved? Ever? It happens. People make mad decisions all the time. We’re imperfect. I’m not defending it but this refrain that all cheaters must not love their spouse just ignores that humans make mistakes.

NP. People do accidentally hurt people they love. If you intentionally hurt someone, then you don't love them.

No one "accidentally" cheats.

You only hurt them if they find out…so you rationalize it that as long as they never know, you didn’t hurt them.

Former AP and I are still friends and the one thing is that we will forever have this secret between us, where now there is someone else that knows more about us than our spouses. We are emotionally closer now because we can tell each other everything now that we have this bond of something only the two of us know.

You two suck. You think you think you have something special. Nope. Two scumbags together.

Anonymous wrote:Lots of closeted guys truly love their wives but cheat anyway.

Maybe as a friend they love them. They not only cheat though but also lie to their spouse in order to marry. It's considered a fraudulent marriage. I think these people have deep seated mental health issues that they do this.

Anonymous wrote:Jeez, you guys over-think this. I love my wife very much, however, after the kids were born, she lost total interest in sex. I was in my prime (sexually) and had affairs just for the sex. As I’ve aged and my sex drive has somewhat diminished, I no longer cheat. I’m not a sociopath, or have emotional problems, I just enjoyed sex and my wife was not able to fulfill that need.

And you don’t think you betrayed her? Your marriage vows? What would she say?

You decided for her . Poor character.

People who do this are masters at compartmentalizing.

Anonymous wrote:A selfish person will always say this. They don't know what love is, though.

👏🏼👏🏼