Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:hardline filters. No more or less than a 10 year age difference. College educated. No kids. Needed to respond within a day. Nothing weird in the chat. I only would do a weekday drink after work or early coffee date or a walk for the first date. Nothing casual.

You have a reasonable point that there are a lot of weirdos online, and you need to ruthlessly filter out people with incompatible age, education, location, and manners.

Attractive successful men are not waiting around to respond within 24 hours for the privilege of buying you a coffee. Some single women treat men as commodities and confuse high quantity of messages with availability of high quality men.

One woman wanted an early drink, and she predictably showed up in work clothes. I had anticipated this and excused myself one hour later for a second drink date with a woman 15 years younger (and took her home). If the first woman had scheduled a 7:00 drink and dressed appropriately for a date then this would not have happened. I preferred age-appropriate women with relationship potential. But I started walking out on dates when the woman was very late, did not look like her pictures, or acted inappropriately.

Some women want a convenient coffee date to audition the man. But it is a two-way audition, and you are already failing. If a successful, fit man feels that you are scheduling him for convenience, if you are not dressed appropriately for a date, and if you are not hot and pleasant, then you are not getting a second date. Enjoy your coffee and cats.

Anonymous wrote:hardline filters. No more or less than a 10 year age difference. College educated. No kids. Needed to respond within a day. Nothing weird in the chat. I only would do a weekday drink after work or early coffee date or a walk for the first date. Nothing casual.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately the reality is that if you’re trying to date straight men there’s not a lot of high quality ones at any age. When women are looking to settle down and have a family they’ll overlook a lot, but once that’s no longer a concern it becomes brutally clear just how few men will actually improve your life vs just being another chore to take care of. So women largely just opt out because their single lives are generally pretty great. Not sure there’s much to be done about it I’m afraid

No. You just have to be a high quality woman if you want to get and keep high quality men.

Anonymous wrote:I'm divorced and in my 50s. I've done OLD both recently and back in my early 30s. The quality of the men is about the same, TBH. But I found it much easier in my 50s because I no longer cared about finding someone in time to have kids with him, and I was much clearer about what characteristics really matter in a partner. Half the battle with OLD is not wasting your time on men who aren't worth it and that's easier to discern with a mature man.

To find a great man, you need to screen out all the losers. Only chat with men who say they're looking for a LTR and who state they no longer want kids. Any man over 50 who says he wants or is unsure about kids should be avoided. Screen for men who are seeking women with at least a college degree. Avoid anyone who has children still living at home. If you're in DC, expand your geographic boundaries to include the suburbs because that's where divorced men who kept the house are located. Don't meet anyone in person till you have his full name and place of employment so that you can do a check to make sure he's legit. If he doesn't ask you out within a week of "meeting" online, drop him and move on because he's not serious and is likely just feeding his ego and might be married. Get a Google phone number so that you can text off the app without giving out your cell number.

Anonymous wrote:My sister recently went on a date with a man who she discovered was in his 50s. He looked really young for his age. He was appalled that she wasn’t interested in going on a second date when she found out how old he was and that he didn’t want to have any other kids. She’s 34. I can’t imagine what it’s like for women that are even older than she is.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately the reality is that if you’re trying to date straight men there’s not a lot of high quality ones at any age. When women are looking to settle down and have a family they’ll overlook a lot, but once that’s no longer a concern it becomes brutally clear just how few men will actually improve your life vs just being another chore to take care of. So women largely just opt out because their single lives are generally pretty great. Not sure there’s much to be done about it I’m afraid

This. When they’re young they look better but you don’t know how they’ll turn out. When they’re middle aged at least you know what you’re getting.

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately the reality is that if you’re trying to date straight men there’s not a lot of high quality ones at any age. When women are looking to settle down and have a family they’ll overlook a lot, but once that’s no longer a concern it becomes brutally clear just how few men will actually improve your life vs just being another chore to take care of. So women largely just opt out because their single lives are generally pretty great. Not sure there’s much to be done about it I’m afraid

Their options are no worse than the husbands we have.

Anonymous wrote:Unfortunately the reality is that if you’re trying to date straight men there’s not a lot of high quality ones at any age. When women are looking to settle down and have a family they’ll overlook a lot, but once that’s no longer a concern it becomes brutally clear just how few men will actually improve your life vs just being another chore to take care of. So women largely just opt out because their single lives are generally pretty great. Not sure there’s much to be done about it I’m afraid

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my 50s. Financially secure, college educated, and decent looks. Every time I've turned on Bumble or Hinge after a few months, my phone has exploded with people swiping right on me. Some are over 60. Most are also in their 50s like me. Some are in their 40s and a few are younger.

I'm a man. Maybe that makes a difference but I doubt it. When I've pursued attractive women in their 50s, they've told me I had lots of competition. I'm in a relationship now with someone in her 40s, but that wasn't always the situation.

You think? Lol

Of course it does. And as you continue you to age there will be 10+ available women for everyone of you in the 65+ living community.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apps tend to be a waste of time for middle aged guys because mediocre women have unrealistic expectations. DC striver type women with zero personality get tons of attention as long as their pics are halfway decent. Best advice for guys is to screen really hard or you're going to be wasting a lot of your valuable time. If you have the resources, meeting women overseas is a no brainer. Meet them outside of the apps and you will be shocked at the quality relative to what you can get in the US.

Are you fat? Dad bod? Broke? I’m so tired of this “unrealistic expectations” crap. I’m a 51 YO woman, I make good money, and I haven’t let myself go. I don’t look 30 but I’m thin and fit, take care of my hair and skin, and as PP above says I’m not looking for someone to have kids with or to take care of me financially - just someone to have fun with (without being a sugar momma - we can take turns paying). So if I’m going to sleep with you, you better be attractive! If not, I’ll happily entertain myself with my friends and my vibrator. Bye!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Apps tend to be a waste of time for middle aged guys because mediocre women have unrealistic expectations. DC striver type women with zero personality get tons of attention as long as their pics are halfway decent. Best advice for guys is to screen really hard or you're going to be wasting a lot of your valuable time. If you have the resources, meeting women overseas is a no brainer. Meet them outside of the apps and you will be shocked at the quality relative to what you can get in the US.

Are you fat? Dad bod? Broke? I’m so tired of this “unrealistic expectations” crap. I’m a 51 YO woman, I make good money, and I haven’t let myself go. I don’t look 30 but I’m thin and fit, take care of my hair and skin, and as PP above says I’m not looking for someone to have kids with or to take care of me financially - just someone to have fun with (without being a sugar momma - we can take turns paying). So if I’m going to sleep with you, you better be attractive! If not, I’ll happily entertain myself with my friends and my vibrator. Bye!