Anonymous
Post 05/09/2025 06:04     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry/not sorry but any man who doesn’t have $10K for a ring doesn’t have enough for a marriage.

Any person who would choose a piece of bling over spending that amount on a shared experience, part of a home purchase is really special.


Wearing a ring every day for the rest of your life IS an experience. Not wearing one is a different experience that I would not choose. If $10K is the make or break on a downpayment he doesn’t have enough for marriage.

You sound like a real peach.
Anonymous
Post 05/09/2025 04:15     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sorry/not sorry but any man who doesn’t have $10K for a ring doesn’t have enough for a marriage.

Any person who would choose a piece of bling over spending that amount on a shared experience, part of a home purchase is really special.


Wearing a ring every day for the rest of your life IS an experience. Not wearing one is a different experience that I would not choose. If $10K is the make or break on a downpayment he doesn’t have enough for marriage.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2025 22:41     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
I’d get a plain gold band. Elegant and simple.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2025 22:39     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
I want an engagement ring for my second marriage, whenever I decide to do it. For the same reason as my first - they're pretty and i want to signal to others that I'm taken. Of course I could do that with a silicon band. But if I'm going to wear something everyday I want it to be pleasing to me.

But this weird comparison between the ex wife and new wife via engagement ring... definitely a red flag!
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2025 22:15     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
I don’t have much respect for women who care about engagement rings…or men who care about women taking their last names. These sexist traditions should have died out years ago.

If you aren’t marrying him for him and only for what he holds out in front of him….why marry at all. The expectation of a man needing to get down on his knee and hold an expensive item up in the hopes the woman will agree to marry him when she sees diamonds is mostly coming from diamond and jewelry companies.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2025 22:08     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
I am going to assume that everyone on here is a troll because my husband spent $2K on the ring I picked out because I preferred to have a down payment on our first house instead of a shiny rock on my finger. Diamond rings are a waste of money and they are just for show - and personally I think that if you are judging me for the ring on my finger, then I don't really want to know you at all, so this is a great way for me to weed out the crazies!
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2025 22:05     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
You should never ask for a gift. Tacky.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2025 22:04     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
Does he know he's marrying someone who cares so much about his money?
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2025 21:57     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
Any woman who still cares about engagement rings for a second marriage is a huge red flag.
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2025 01:54     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
WT Fffffff
Anonymous
Post 05/08/2025 01:21     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:This calls my mother's third marriage to mind.

Her third DH wouldn't get her an engagement ring at all, because he'd bought a nice one for his first wife and "it didn't work out." My mother said she didn't "need one" and it would be a "waste of money" while secretly feeling horrible about it but never speaking up. It was just one sign of how he wasn't ever going to be all-in on the marriage the way he was with his first, and also a sign of how he enjoyed withholding and controlling with his second. The relationship with my mother was transactional for him, and he was only going to "buy" at a "steep discount." And he made it clear and it was very hurtful (and like an idiot she married him anyway).

YMMV quite a bit, of course. But I wouldn't accept less than what the first wife got, unless finances had tanked in an extreme way or something.

As far as diamonds go, I know a bit about them and have quite a few mined diamonds ... but today? I'd absolutely buy lab. I'm 100% for lab. For many reasons.


I can’t believe you think the problem was the lack of a diamond.


Your reading comprehension is very poor.

Clearly I do not think "the problem was the lack of a diamond." The lack of the diamond was a sign of the problem and a harbinger.


DP. The problem was your MOTHER. THREE marriages? But blame husband number 3 or 4.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2025 23:54     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
Anonymous wrote:Lab diamonds are trashy


Not as trashy as blood diamonds.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2025 22:35     Subject: Re:Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
I think it depends on your fiancé’s financial position. If he’s pinching pennies to send kids to college, pay alimony, etc. by then go with the lab diamond. If he’s wealthy and can afford the mined diamond, he should be going with that. Do what makes sense for your financial situation.
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2025 18:43     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
Lab diamonds are trashy
Anonymous
Post 05/07/2025 18:38     Subject: Engagement ring $$$ when 2nd marriage for both
You should not be getting married. It’s not a competition. My husband was broke because of child support, allimony and all the extras she demanded. My mom gave him a family ring. Now I never wear rings so I’d or care. He would do it now.