Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now I cook and clean because I am a longtime SAHM and I fully agree that is part of the “deal.” However, once my husband retires, we will be sharing household duties equally. I will cook and clean as much as he does, which I am suspecting will not be much.

That's when he trades you in for two twenties.

😩

Anonymous wrote:I burnt out after covid. I have 4 kids and went from working outside the home to needing to quit and doing it full time with no schools or preschools. It led to severe burnout and depression and exH didn’t care.

I divorced him and am down to half time with kids. Which sucks a lot, but I am back to working. I still cook, which I enjoy, and my partner is the cleaner because he’s naturally tidy. I feel like a human again.

These have to be trolls. Between this lady and the pp who is 100% ok with preparing herself healthy meals while watching her kids eat pasta every night.
I would do anything to make sure my kids are eating nutritious food. Just like I'd do anything for their education. Maybe your kids are almost adults?
But to the other poster, i'm sure your four kids are happy you can work again and have found a new live-in boyfriend. If you exist.

Anonymous wrote:OP back with an update. I ended up ordering meal delivery and got my first order Saturday.

It’s heavenly so far. I just grab what I need when it’s time. I cook the kids spaghetti or mac and cheese, which takes 10 minutes. H was pissed at first but is cooking a week of his meals as we speak.

Having meals off my plate has cleared up so much mental bandwidth - no figuring out meals, groceries, any of it. Love it.

You get nice, curated meals delivered for yourself and you feed your children mac and cheese and spaghetti every night? Why do you get nutrition and variety in your dinners but they don’t? Also, you’re still cooking and dirtying dishes this way???? How is this any better, besides you forcing your husband to cook for only himself? Which, by the way, is not economical because cooking for one generates a ton of waste?

You seem very petty and the kind of lazy that creates more, not less, work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve known people who do this. I can’t imagine it for me, my kids need my support and healthy cooking to focus on their studies. They often help cook and clean, too. Maybe that should be a group effort instead of your job.

This is such bulsshit. No they don't. Food is nutritious whether it is hot, room temperature, or cold. Example: hot cooked Velveeta drizzled over bacon and white toasted bread is not healthier than an uncooked (!) plate of greens with edamame and tofu and olive oil with a squeeze of lemon.

Turning on a stove doesn't make you study better later, wtf.

Except nobody is going to choose a plate of greens with edamame and tofu every day, dimwit.

Most often the choice is between a healthy home-cooked meal vs. Velveeta or frozen crap vs. DoorDash vs. Doritos

Anonymous wrote:I’ve known people who do this. I can’t imagine it for me, my kids need my support and healthy cooking to focus on their studies. They often help cook and clean, too. Maybe that should be a group effort instead of your job.

This is such bulsshit. No they don't. Food is nutritious whether it is hot, room temperature, or cold. Example: hot cooked Velveeta drizzled over bacon and white toasted bread is not healthier than an uncooked (!) plate of greens with edamame and tofu and olive oil with a squeeze of lemon.

Turning on a stove doesn't make you study better later, wtf.

I burnt out after covid. I have 4 kids and went from working outside the home to needing to quit and doing it full time with no schools or preschools. It led to severe burnout and depression and exH didn’t care.

I divorced him and am down to half time with kids. Which sucks a lot, but I am back to working. I still cook, which I enjoy, and my partner is the cleaner because he’s naturally tidy. I feel like a human again.

I do meal and grocery delivery, door dash, weekly cleaner and full time nanny who does laundry. DH doesn't object as he hates cooking and cleaning even more than I do. DH taught me early in our marriage thst if a problem can be solved by throwing money at it; then do it.

OP back with an update. I ended up ordering meal delivery and got my first order Saturday.

It’s heavenly so far. I just grab what I need when it’s time. I cook the kids spaghetti or mac and cheese, which takes 10 minutes. H was pissed at first but is cooking a week of his meals as we speak.

Having meals off my plate has cleared up so much mental bandwidth - no figuring out meals, groceries, any of it. Love it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your husband is a slob. Everyone I know cleans as they go except one person who literally throws out dirty pots and pans after leaving them to rot for weeks, and buys new ones at Ross or Goodwill multiple times a year.

Also, you can use the aluminum tins that you just toss afterwards. I baked chicken in one today and tossed it out after. Stuffed shells last week and tossed it after. Cuts down on a lot of scrubbing.

Tell. your husband to clean while things are cooking.

i think the solution here is that the cooker cleans, that way there is incentive not to make a big mess. my husband does "clean" after dinner, but never all the way (leaves things in sink, doesn't get ALL the items used in the sink/dishwasher, etc.).

I’m the husband and do all the cooking. I buy all my dinner ingredients too. And you expect me to do the dinner cleanup on top of all that? And then hear the complaint that it’s never “all the way”?

This kind of attitude is what drives me a little crazy about my husband. Like the default is that I will do everything with respect to housework and childcare, so he feels that anything he does is taking something off my plate.

Therefore, he gets to pick and choose what he does, and it’s my job to be grateful for whatever that is and to do everything else.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Right now I cook and clean because I am a longtime SAHM and I fully agree that is part of the “deal.” However, once my husband retires, we will be sharing household duties equally. I will cook and clean as much as he does, which I am suspecting will not be much.

That's when he trades you in for two twenties.

Doubt it, but my half of everything is plenty.

Anonymous wrote:Right now I cook and clean because I am a longtime SAHM and I fully agree that is part of the “deal.” However, once my husband retires, we will be sharing household duties equally. I will cook and clean as much as he does, which I am suspecting will not be much.

That's when he trades you in for two twenties.