My kid hasn't asked to wear this stuff as of yet but several of the families we are close to have been having this conversation with their daughters so I've been thinking about my position on it.

I agree with all the PPs that there is no reason to interpret this stuff as sexual -- these are tweens, their interest is in this as fashion, not because they are trying to attract others. Also once there's a critical mass of girls dressing this way, it's about fitting in. It's like how in HS, the standard is super short dresses with sneakers for homecoming. It looks weird to me but the ALL do it -- it's just how kids dress these days. I'm sure what I wore to homecoming dances in high school would look stupid to them.

BUT my main objection to these specific items (the off the shoulder shirts and the belly shirts) is if they are items of clothing that girls are constantly adjusting. I have worn both of these items and they can just be fussy. Especially the off the shoulder top. Add in that these kids are in puberty so are sometimes wearing bras for the first time and their bodies are changing quickly, and it just seems like a headache to wear something like this to school. I don't want my DD at school focusing on making her neckline lie correctly or thinking about her shirt riding up.

So my current stance is that if she wants to get clothes like this, I'm fine with it, but she can't wear it to school. She could wear to hang out with friends or to a birthday party or something. But at school she needs to wear more practical clothes that don't inhibit or distract.

College prof here and I literally have students wear sports bras as tops to class sometimes. I have students show up for networking events in crop tops. Ones who have been in meetings where we discussed what to wear.

Times are changing.

The thing is, hiring managers are mostly still older and not going to be very open to seeing belly buttons in interviews for a while. Or dirty flashy sneakers with dress pants.

When today's 6th graders are the managers? Who knows. But it's important to understand that that's not where we are today. I bring up the career stuff because I am guessing a lot of the kids who don't dress for the wide-range norms in these scenarios didn't encounter guidance or boundaries around clothing in their early life.

Wow, this thread has gone off the rails. OP, you need to get comfortable saying no to your kid. Whether "everyone else" does something that you're uncomfortable with is simply irrelevant. Make your own parenting decisions based on what you think is best for your kid. And for the record, there is no way in hell I would let my daughters wear revealing clothing in middle school.

Anonymous wrote:I take and pick up my 6th grader to her private every day. Not one girl dresses like that. But in publics, they are mini-adults.

I’m really happy for you that you don’t have to deal with kids in “publics” - read what you just wrote you private school elitist snob.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes my sixth grader wears such things. Though generally an off the shoulder top would be worn with a tank top under. And no super shirt crop tops but yes her midriff is sometimes exposed an inch or two

I don’t believe in weird policing or over sexualizing of girls bodies.

Exposing midriff not at all sexualizing. Dumb ass.

Are you sure about that? Why do you think they want to show off their stomach?

DP, but seriously? My kid just likes the way something feels or looks. Nothing sexual. I think you have an issue. Kid doesn't like the way longer shirts cover her shorts, doesn't like the way they feel when tucked in. So a cropped top that hits the mid is perfect.

lol. it is sexual. your kids are sexual beings. they have urges. they want sexual attention. they are immature. they equate attention as love. you are the parent and your job is to protect them and teach them to be discerning.

No bible thumper no.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

The only ones who think this is sexual are the GOP who voted in red states for 10 year old girls to be able to marry.

Some children will be easier prey than others. I will protect mine. You are using your kid as a fodder for some reason but it is your choice. It does have the potential to be a tragedy but it will not be my personal tragedy.

What a sick worldview you have. To assume any sexually assaulted CHILD must have brought it on themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always thought it odd in the USA how dress codes for kids are so strict for regular students, but cheerleaders get to wear super short skirts and do flips showing off their undies and such, and the later is acceptable.

They are wearing shorts under the cheerleading skirt.

Since you were obviously never a cheerleade, but you still know what was meant......

Everyday there are midriffs exposed at our middle school. I saw one girl today even roll down the waste of her pants 3 times. One more roll down and her butt crack would have been exposed. Yesterday we saw skirts so short that their butt cheeks were exposed about a good inch on both sides and all around. There are girls with shirts pulled off of one shoulder.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes my sixth grader wears such things. Though generally an off the shoulder top would be worn with a tank top under. And no super shirt crop tops but yes her midriff is sometimes exposed an inch or two

I don’t believe in weird policing or over sexualizing of girls bodies.

Exposing midriff not at all sexualizing. Dumb ass.

Are you sure about that? Why do you think they want to show off their stomach?

DP, but seriously? My kid just likes the way something feels or looks. Nothing sexual. I think you have an issue. Kid doesn't like the way longer shirts cover her shorts, doesn't like the way they feel when tucked in. So a cropped top that hits the mid is perfect.

lol. it is sexual. your kids are sexual beings. they have urges. they want sexual attention. they are immature. they equate attention as love. you are the parent and your job is to protect them and teach them to be discerning.

WTF?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes my sixth grader wears such things. Though generally an off the shoulder top would be worn with a tank top under. And no super shirt crop tops but yes her midriff is sometimes exposed an inch or two

I don’t believe in weird policing or over sexualizing of girls bodies.

Exposing midriff not at all sexualizing. Dumb ass.

Are you sure about that? Why do you think they want to show off their stomach?

DP, but seriously? My kid just likes the way something feels or looks. Nothing sexual. I think you have an issue. Kid doesn't like the way longer shirts cover her shorts, doesn't like the way they feel when tucked in. So a cropped top that hits the mid is perfect.

lol. it is sexual. your kids are sexual beings. they have urges. they want sexual attention. they are immature. they equate attention as love. you are the parent and your job is to protect them and teach them to be discerning.

No bible thumper no.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

The only ones who think this is sexual are the GOP who voted in red states for 10 year old girls to be able to marry.

Some children will be easier prey than others. I will protect mine. You are using your kid as a fodder for some reason but it is your choice. It does have the potential to be a tragedy but it will not be my personal tragedy.

Wow. So a child's choice of clothing is why they become a victim? You are a horrible person.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes my sixth grader wears such things. Though generally an off the shoulder top would be worn with a tank top under. And no super shirt crop tops but yes her midriff is sometimes exposed an inch or two

I don’t believe in weird policing or over sexualizing of girls bodies.

Exposing midriff not at all sexualizing. Dumb ass.

Are you sure about that? Why do you think they want to show off their stomach?

DP, but seriously? My kid just likes the way something feels or looks. Nothing sexual. I think you have an issue. Kid doesn't like the way longer shirts cover her shorts, doesn't like the way they feel when tucked in. So a cropped top that hits the mid is perfect.

Given the apparent sensory issues and the unfamiliarity with the connotations of clothes, I am going to assume your daughter is on the spectrum.

So then it's ok? Are you a buffet catholic? I sense you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes my sixth grader wears such things. Though generally an off the shoulder top would be worn with a tank top under. And no super shirt crop tops but yes her midriff is sometimes exposed an inch or two

I don’t believe in weird policing or over sexualizing of girls bodies.

Exposing midriff not at all sexualizing. Dumb ass.

Are you sure about that? Why do you think they want to show off their stomach?

DP, but seriously? My kid just likes the way something feels or looks. Nothing sexual. I think you have an issue. Kid doesn't like the way longer shirts cover her shorts, doesn't like the way they feel when tucked in. So a cropped top that hits the mid is perfect.

lol. it is sexual. your kids are sexual beings. they have urges. they want sexual attention. they are immature. they equate attention as love. you are the parent and your job is to protect them and teach them to be discerning.

No bible thumper no.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

The only ones who think this is sexual are the GOP who voted in red states for 10 year old girls to be able to marry.

Some children will be easier prey than others. I will protect mine. You are using your kid as a fodder for some reason but it is your choice. It does have the potential to be a tragedy but it will not be my personal tragedy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes my sixth grader wears such things. Though generally an off the shoulder top would be worn with a tank top under. And no super shirt crop tops but yes her midriff is sometimes exposed an inch or two

I don’t believe in weird policing or over sexualizing of girls bodies.

Exposing midriff not at all sexualizing. Dumb ass.

Are you sure about that? Why do you think they want to show off their stomach?

DP, but seriously? My kid just likes the way something feels or looks. Nothing sexual. I think you have an issue. Kid doesn't like the way longer shirts cover her shorts, doesn't like the way they feel when tucked in. So a cropped top that hits the mid is perfect.

Given the apparent sensory issues and the unfamiliarity with the connotations of clothes, I am going to assume your daughter is on the spectrum.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes my sixth grader wears such things. Though generally an off the shoulder top would be worn with a tank top under. And no super shirt crop tops but yes her midriff is sometimes exposed an inch or two

I don’t believe in weird policing or over sexualizing of girls bodies.

Exposing midriff not at all sexualizing. Dumb ass.

Are you sure about that? Why do you think they want to show off their stomach?

DP, but seriously? My kid just likes the way something feels or looks. Nothing sexual. I think you have an issue. Kid doesn't like the way longer shirts cover her shorts, doesn't like the way they feel when tucked in. So a cropped top that hits the mid is perfect.

lol. it is sexual. your kids are sexual beings. they have urges. they want sexual attention. they are immature. they equate attention as love. you are the parent and your job is to protect them and teach them to be discerning.

No bible thumper no.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

The only ones who think this is sexual are the GOP who voted in red states for 10 year old girls to be able to marry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Always thought it odd in the USA how dress codes for kids are so strict for regular students, but cheerleaders get to wear super short skirts and do flips showing off their undies and such, and the later is acceptable.

They are doing a sport. Similar to dance. Requires a certain uniform.

So what has nothing to do with the skirt being short. If you complain about short skirts and your kid is a cheer or dance kid then you are a hypocrite.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes my sixth grader wears such things. Though generally an off the shoulder top would be worn with a tank top under. And no super shirt crop tops but yes her midriff is sometimes exposed an inch or two

I don’t believe in weird policing or over sexualizing of girls bodies.

Exposing midriff not at all sexualizing. Dumb ass.

Are you sure about that? Why do you think they want to show off their stomach?

DP, but seriously? My kid just likes the way something feels or looks. Nothing sexual. I think you have an issue. Kid doesn't like the way longer shirts cover her shorts, doesn't like the way they feel when tucked in. So a cropped top that hits the mid is perfect.

lol. it is sexual. your kids are sexual beings. they have urges. they want sexual attention. they are immature. they equate attention as love. you are the parent and your job is to protect them and teach them to be discerning.