Anonymous wrote:She should go to Yale...not just for the name, but because the students there are happier and I think it will be a more well-rounded experience.

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Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the input. She’s leaning Swarthmore. She did not like New Haven and the large intro classes. She felt like the Swarthmore students were more “like” her. I suspect she’ll choose there. I think she wants me to decide for her which I will NOT do. I tell her she must own her decision but there is no right or wrong one. She likes to work and she is not a big party person. We didn’t love the construction at Swarthmore but most of the campus is breathtaking.

Sounds like she is a great fit for Swat, but she will also find her people at Yale. Certainly plenty of hard-working kids who aren't party-oriented. I would say Swat is more intense though, just attracts that kind of kid. Does that feel right to her?

Agree Swat is intense but Yale is more competitive, if that makes sense. Is she the kind of kid who will be lost at a bigger school, and not show initiative in terms of finding internships, making connections with professors etc.? Or do you feel confident she'll find her way. If the latter, I'd lean Yale. If the former, Swat. SLACs really do offer a superior UG education, and your kid can take classes at Penn if wants to expand her options as she matures.

I do not feel confident she’ll find her way. She’s an anxious, socially immature kid with a gifted IQ and a high level of distractability. Personally, I think she would do better at Swarthmore. But to turn down her reachiest of reaches? Ugh, I almost wish she hadn’t been accepted! Lol.

My DD fits this description too and is thriving socially at Pomona (west coast version of Swat-they have an exchange program). Has made a lot of nice friends and will live in a suite next year with them. Lots of attention from professors and mentoring by older students which is really helpful and lessens her inherent anxiety. Save Ivy League for grad school and go to the lesser name for this intimate experience.

Sounds like my DD. She needs a smaller environment. Yale is uber competitive no matter what PP says.

+1 Yale is not the place to send an anxious and distractible kid. These are the kinds of kids who can end up miserable and fall through the cracks. She'll thrive in a smaller, more collaborative environment then the world will be her oyster for grad school.

Isn’t Swat known for being uber competitive?

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Anonymous wrote:For music, Yale. For math, Swarthmore. For graduate school, Swarthmore. For industry, Yale.

Kid will do great in terms of outcomes at either school; I really think this is splitting hairs. Go with where the kid wants to go and will more likely be happy.

Anonymous wrote:For music, Yale. For math, Swarthmore. For graduate school, Swarthmore. For industry, Yale.

Anonymous wrote:I'd tell my kid where they should go if they were confused. It'd be their decision in the end, but majority of parents here seem to disregard the amount of pressure a kid must feel about making the right choice when almost half a million is at stake. Most kids aren't truly mature to make such a decision. They go with vibes they get based on their limited exposure.
I'd advise my kid to pick Yale unless Swarthmore is famous for the major they're interested in. I love Swarthmore, but Yale has global name recognition. It's all about getting a fulfilling and rewarding job after undergraduate/graduate education. Yale will open more doors to that end.
You know your child the best. Provide guidance. Don't burden your child with having to make the decision all by themselves. Either way, don't let you or your child indulge in second guessing once the decision is made. It’s just one of the many important decisions in the lifetime.
It may seem very hard in the beginning, but she will adapt wherever she lands with your support ❤️

Anonymous wrote:I posted earlier. These people who were talking about finding your way at a large university, I’m not sure they actually have much experience with Yale. I went to a wasp while dating someone who went to Yale. there was tons of community at Yale. I actually felt like it was easier to make friends at Yale because of the residential college system. The communal dining is really nice. I really don’t think you should worry about your child socially at Yale. I don’t think Swarthmore will be more beneficial than Yale, socially.

Personally, I think you should encourage her to go to Yale since she is uncertain, and looking for your advice. I do think the small liberal college model in some ways provides a better education, but there are plenty of small classes at Yale as well. She must’ve worked very hard to get into Yale. Don’t underestimate the doors opened by having that on your résumé and the lifelong benefit and people love Yale. Everyone I know who went there is positive about it.

She is uncertain and asking for your advice. I think you should tell her towards you. If she was saying saying, I don’t want to go there I want to go to Swarthmore then don’t pressure her. But she’s asking for your advice. And I think you should tell her to go to Yale.