Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have talked about it but it's difficult because neither are drawn toward money-making careers. They also see how some of these careers are incredibly stressful and can have poor quality of life.

This!

Being poor and underpaid is also incredibly stressful and definitely results in poor quality of life.

There is a middle ground.

I have seen a lot during my career. Some died of heart attack in a client meeting. Other overdosed while divorced.

Fair enough.

Believe it or not, there are surgeons, lawyers, inventors, bankers, and business owners who love their jobs, are healthy (I myself compete in triathlons), and are well compensated.

Sounds like one of those "hybrid athletes" I see popping up everwhere.

Jonathan Yong "Jonny" Kim, "an American astronaut with NASA, as well as a U.S. Navy officer and physician. While in the Navy, he served as a SEAL, flight surgeon, and naval aviator. ... participated in over 100 combat missions ... a Silver Star and Bronze Star ... Harvard Medical School."

Role model Asian parents love. Nightmare for so many Asian kids.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, why not? Many people who are paid low wages work just as hard, if not harder, than those making much more. Sorry, money is important, and I'm not going to tell them it's not.

You forgot middle wages, most people make wages somewhere in the middle. If people are honest about their kids abilities we aren’t talking about the 1% salaries for most of them. Neither are we talking about low wages.

Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong with talking about what type of lifestyle he wants to live and how he support that. Ideally, he will find a career he loves that allows him to live comfortably and happily. That’s hard to find though. He may have to compromise and explore careers that may not provide everything he wants but pay well.

Careers that pay well include Medicines, Investment Banking/Hedge Funds/Private Equity, Consulting, Law, and Tech. However, for most of these, you have to be in the top quartile of the firms, and inside the firms, you have to be in top quartile of employees. For example in Consulting or Law, you have to be a Partner at a top firm to make $2M-$4M+ a year.

I don’t know why people talk about lawyers making 2-4 million. That’s less than 1% of lawyers. It makes more sense to discuss the 99% who don’t make 7 figures. I wouldn’t persuade my child to into a boring field of law because it’s a high salary. A state prosecutor or public defense attorney both start with low salaries but if that’s what your child is interested in that’s what they should do. I know plenty of attorneys on the low end of salaries and they have houses! Even summer cottages!

Tech is something your kid already knows if it might be something he’s interested in or definitely not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have talked about it but it's difficult because neither are drawn toward money-making careers. They also see how some of these careers are incredibly stressful and can have poor quality of life.

This!

Being poor and underpaid is also incredibly stressful and definitely results in poor quality of life.

There is a middle ground.

I have seen a lot during my career. Some died of heart attack in a client meeting. Other overdosed while divorced.

Fair enough.

Believe it or not, there are surgeons, lawyers, inventors, bankers, and business owners who love their jobs, are healthy (I myself compete in triathlons), and are well compensated.

Sounds like one of those "hybrid athletes" I see popping up everwhere.

Anonymous wrote:There’s no one approach to career advice but this is what we do in our family:

We share insight with DC about how much their current “lifestyle” costs, and what sort of salary they’ll need to maintain it. Not IB/Big law type jobs/careers, but normal corporate jobs paying up to $300-$500k (later in career).

We also talk about moving up corporate ladder quickly while young and energetic, switching jobs every few years to maximize earning potential, and planning financially for layoff in 50s (we have at least 5 friends who haven’t been able to fine FT work since layoff in early 50s) and/or if one spouse wants to stay home.

We also talk about having 2 careers - the first one more corporate/professional per the info above, and the second after 50 where they can pursue another passion - teaching, art, music, podcasting, etc.

We also say, it’s easier to off-ramp a big career than on-ramp. Pursue a big job, if you hate it, you can quit or transition to IC or consulting, something lower pressure, especially if your resume has some solid work experience with well know companies and you’ve built a professional network. But it’s harder to shift from low pay/pressure job to big career if you decide you want /need more.

Wow your children are extremely privileged. I am an immigrant with parents who had no college degrees and no jobs as well (we lived off rental property my dad got lucky buying and he never worked again even though we were all ashamed of him staying home all day). Your post makes me less sad about not being a lawyer. I work in tech and regret I didn’t go to law school almost every day.

My parents raised the issue with me. I wanted to go into journalism, but ended up in law. No regrets; I like that I can provide my family with a nice life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want my kids to like what they do and leave the world a better place. Honestly. I think it's fine to help them realize there are financial tradeoffs to certain career choices, but it's also important for them to realize there are life tradeoffs to other career choices. The money people make in some of these careers is compensation for the fact that they suck in every other way.

I agree with this seeing it from the other side.

We just has massive layoffs where I work. Most of the people earn $300k+, into the millions, but really have traded their life, and in most cases their health, for their job. Many have school aged kids and have to change lifestyle or find something quick. Nothing causes an identity crisis more than realizing you were a crappy parent and your kids are struggling (usually socially) and you are not as important as you thought to the company and industry.

You’re making some broad generalizations there. For every person making $300K+ who is miserable and neglected their health and family, I see 5X the number of people complain they’re not paid enough or how it’s unfair rich people get all the privileges.

Yes, lots of lower paid people have also traded their health for their work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want my kids to like what they do and leave the world a better place. Honestly. I think it's fine to help them realize there are financial tradeoffs to certain career choices, but it's also important for them to realize there are life tradeoffs to other career choices. The money people make in some of these careers is compensation for the fact that they suck in every other way.

Tell me you’ve never made 7 figures without telling me

No one needs to make 7 figures in a single year to live a comfortable and meaningful life. What planet are you on?

Yup and no one aiming for a high paying career wants merely an average life.

And ppl who actually do clear $1m / yr don’t use the word “yup” on a mommy-centric website

Boars Head Route way to go

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no one approach to career advice but this is what we do in our family:

We share insight with DC about how much their current “lifestyle” costs, and what sort of salary they’ll need to maintain it. Not IB/Big law type jobs/careers, but normal corporate jobs paying up to $300-$500k (later in career).

We also talk about moving up corporate ladder quickly while young and energetic, switching jobs every few years to maximize earning potential, and planning financially for layoff in 50s (we have at least 5 friends who haven’t been able to fine FT work since layoff in early 50s) and/or if one spouse wants to stay home.

We also talk about having 2 careers - the first one more corporate/professional per the info above, and the second after 50 where they can pursue another passion - teaching, art, music, podcasting, etc.

We also say, it’s easier to off-ramp a big career than on-ramp. Pursue a big job, if you hate it, you can quit or transition to IC or consulting, something lower pressure, especially if your resume has some solid work experience with well know companies and you’ve built a professional network. But it’s harder to shift from low pay/pressure job to big career if you decide you want /need more.

Where do I find these “normal” type jobs paying $400K+?

DP. In-house counsel typically pays 300K, at least bi-coastal. As your rank goes up, director, senior director, VP, the compensation goes up too.

Director/VP of mid-to-large corporations. Sr Manager and Director in Business/Technology Consultancy. Medical and Technology Sales.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want my kids to like what they do and leave the world a better place. Honestly. I think it's fine to help them realize there are financial tradeoffs to certain career choices, but it's also important for them to realize there are life tradeoffs to other career choices. The money people make in some of these careers is compensation for the fact that they suck in every other way.

I agree with this seeing it from the other side.

We just has massive layoffs where I work. Most of the people earn $300k+, into the millions, but really have traded their life, and in most cases their health, for their job. Many have school aged kids and have to change lifestyle or find something quick. Nothing causes an identity crisis more than realizing you were a crappy parent and your kids are struggling (usually socially) and you are not as important as you thought to the company and industry.

You’re making some broad generalizations there. For every person making $300K+ who is miserable and neglected their health and family, I see 5X the number of people complain they’re not paid enough or how it’s unfair rich people get all the privileges.

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion, if he is smart enough to go to a T10 college, then he is smart enough to figure this out on his own. I would back off and let him.

I completely disagree with this. I was a smart kid who was accepted to every college I applied to and attended a T10 school, but I was FGLI and my parents really knew nothing about the college experience. It literally never occurred to me to think about how much money I would make after college - my job while I was there was to succeed in my major and get great grades. Even now, I see the kids from our high school and in my older child's college. Sure, the ones who come from families in finance or big law often go that route and have a huge step up. But just as many kids from wealthy families follow their passions- they are majoring in theater or film, they know they do not have to earn a living any time soon if ever. Even the kids who are English majors but want t make money will know to take Econ and maybe end up with a concentration or double major, or make sure the join the consulting club. If kids do not go in understanding that most of their peers will already be thinking about how to position themselves during those four years to get high paying jobs when they graduate, then it is easy to get lulled into just joining clubs, majoring in whatever, and not focusing on how much a social worker or teacher makes - when you are 18, those salaries sounds like a good amount of money. My kids can major in whatever they want, but they will go into college knowing those are active decisions - the lifestyle of a novelist or actor or teacher will be VERY different than that of their peers who go into IB, PE, engineering or big law. Which is fine - I want novelists and actors and teachers in this world, but at least prepare them for knowing how it will play out in realistic terms.

Anonymous wrote:Just a general PSA that many lawyers do not make a lot of money — not what DCUM considers a lot. Would recommend majoring in something useful as a backup. You do not need political science for law school.

And only making $75-100K/year when you spent $200K+ on law school is not a great ROI. Don't recommend it unless you won't have debt with law school. But I get not wanting to be a high powered lawyer as well, those who take the lower paying jobs are doing it because it's what they value.
But I couldn't spend $200K+ on a professional degree to only earn $75K

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There’s no one approach to career advice but this is what we do in our family:

We share insight with DC about how much their current “lifestyle” costs, and what sort of salary they’ll need to maintain it. Not IB/Big law type jobs/careers, but normal corporate jobs paying up to $300-$500k (later in career).

We also talk about moving up corporate ladder quickly while young and energetic, switching jobs every few years to maximize earning potential, and planning financially for layoff in 50s (we have at least 5 friends who haven’t been able to fine FT work since layoff in early 50s) and/or if one spouse wants to stay home.

We also talk about having 2 careers - the first one more corporate/professional per the info above, and the second after 50 where they can pursue another passion - teaching, art, music, podcasting, etc.

We also say, it’s easier to off-ramp a big career than on-ramp. Pursue a big job, if you hate it, you can quit or transition to IC or consulting, something lower pressure, especially if your resume has some solid work experience with well know companies and you’ve built a professional network. But it’s harder to shift from low pay/pressure job to big career if you decide you want /need more.

Where do I find these “normal” type jobs paying $400K+?

DP. In-house counsel typically pays 300K, at least bi-coastal. As your rank goes up, director, senior director, VP, the compensation goes up too.

Anonymous wrote:There’s no one approach to career advice but this is what we do in our family:

We share insight with DC about how much their current “lifestyle” costs, and what sort of salary they’ll need to maintain it. Not IB/Big law type jobs/careers, but normal corporate jobs paying up to $300-$500k (later in career).

We also talk about moving up corporate ladder quickly while young and energetic, switching jobs every few years to maximize earning potential, and planning financially for layoff in 50s (we have at least 5 friends who haven’t been able to fine FT work since layoff in early 50s) and/or if one spouse wants to stay home.

We also talk about having 2 careers - the first one more corporate/professional per the info above, and the second after 50 where they can pursue another passion - teaching, art, music, podcasting, etc.

We also say, it’s easier to off-ramp a big career than on-ramp. Pursue a big job, if you hate it, you can quit or transition to IC or consulting, something lower pressure, especially if your resume has some solid work experience with well know companies and you’ve built a professional network. But it’s harder to shift from low pay/pressure job to big career if you decide you want /need more.

Great advice. I am in the process of off-ramping a normalish "big" career (base $500k/bonus $350k) to a more passion project/lifestyle career 2.0 at age 50. Had I not put in the professional time early (for 25 years), it would be extremely hard to do this now. My base will likely go down to what my bonus was, with a smaller annual bonus but many more perks/benefits and a much lower stress/time commitment career.