For $900k HHI I would not move. What is more $ really going to do for you at this income level? Also, you’d need to probably double your salary to make it count in the Bay Area.

My spouse and I had to move away from both families for work and we don’t make close to that income combined. It’s hard to be away from family when you have kids

My SIL lives close to my in-laws and it is great for her kids. My in-laws watch the kids all the time, attend their activities, etc. We visit my in-laws 3x per year and then my family 2-3x per year which gets expensive and takes a lot of the vacation time. My in laws now say they will only visit us 1x a year now (even though we pay for their travel). We have offered to fly them when we go on other vacations but they say no to that too (they have $ they suddenly don’t want to travel).

A relative of mine worked in tech and was at a very senior level. He worked on the East Coast and was told flat out he hit the ceiling unless he moved out west. He said no, still made excellent $ and recently retired. He wanted to live by family and let his kids have that experience. He never was promoted after, but he was happy and had a great work/ life balance. He traveled to the West coast at least once a month but he liked being closer to family. One of his kids is in their medical residency and the other is getting a PhD, so are doing just fine. He also later made the point that the public high school where many people sent their kids had a major drug issue. Many of the kids were pretentious and he didn’t want his kids around that environment.

I can’t imagine earning close to a million but living in nova. Think it depends on what you want. I value nice beaches, skiing; and world class cities (NOT DC).

I’d rather take a paycut from a COL perspective and live in a 3/1 in California and ski during the winter, day trips to SF

But people value different things. Some people think going to the Smithsonian every weekend is amazing.

CA is far better than VA especially for the outdoor activities and weather but being far from family can be tough. Also think about where you want your kids to get marry and live (eg grandkids if you get some), likely they will settle in the state or region of high school - also consider where they might thrive or go to college.

Anonymous wrote:OP here -

To be clear, it’s my DH parents. And we would consider flying them over every month to see their grandchildren. All other family is in NYC area and we do get together every three months - we’ve always been cross country.

Since we are both in big tech, the move in consideration is also a safety net. A lot of our jobs are going back to Hub and RTO. And there just isn’t another career field (apart from Med or big law big lobby) that can pay as well as Big Tech here in DC. The career advancement and opportunities are limited. In the Bay Area, tech companies are plentiful.

So this is a good idea but as people get older it can get harder to travel

We visited my in laws 3x a year together (my husband went alone 2-3x and then took kids 1x in his own) and we used to pay for them to come out to visit us 3x a year. We don’t make your salary but we paid for business class tickets for them the last few years too. The last 18 months they only came once. My MIL had some health issues and is nervous to be away from her doctors and my FIL never liked to travel. This is an active woman who loved to travel. So keep that in mind. They live by my SIL so see those grandkids a ton. Also traveling from VA to California is a long ride especially for older people. If you do it but business class tickets if you can afford it way ahead of time.

Have you looked at Cambridge MA? Lots of tech there and closer to family.

This would be less of a job Q for me, and more if I want to live in California.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wouldn't do it. I'd wait til you are job hunting again and an employer will pay for your move.

We are a tech family with an HHI of 1.3M. We may eventually move to CA but are holding out as long as possible. The reality is that $900k will buy you a middle class lifestyle with a brutal commute and a hyperfocus on work. That would be true at our income as well.

And many tech companies are quietly divesting of CA. They are favoring candidates in lower cost tech hubs like Austin, ATL, DC, Nashville, Toronto, and Dublin. So a CA address may actually cut against you.

I always try to find ways to get other people to pay for things vs us. So when we wanted to move, one of us looked for another job and got relocation as part of the package. Just a thought.

OP here. The employer would actually pay for the move as they would prefer I am in CA at the HQ office. I was a covid hire, when location didn't matter but now they have made it clear that career growth opportunities will be limited/nonexistent while I am in VA (vs CA).

If your kids are young AND its good for your career, I think its worth moving to the bay. That said, I absolutely would not buy. It sounds like you are in a biz function, probably a director+, and you're ripe for being caught in a layoff in a few years. I would try it out for a few years and save what you can. All of the areas everyone has noted is quite pricey, but given you work in Sunnyvale / Mountain View (google?), you should save a bit. No need to optimize for caltrain - you'll pay a lot more for that and you probably have a car. Traffic is brutal but you can live close enough where it won't matter.

Renting is an interesting point. We have a <3% rate for our current home in VA which is hard to walk away from.

Rent out current house while in CA, rent a smaller apartment for nearly same amount.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wouldn't do it. I'd wait til you are job hunting again and an employer will pay for your move.

We are a tech family with an HHI of 1.3M. We may eventually move to CA but are holding out as long as possible. The reality is that $900k will buy you a middle class lifestyle with a brutal commute and a hyperfocus on work. That would be true at our income as well.

And many tech companies are quietly divesting of CA. They are favoring candidates in lower cost tech hubs like Austin, ATL, DC, Nashville, Toronto, and Dublin. So a CA address may actually cut against you.

I always try to find ways to get other people to pay for things vs us. So when we wanted to move, one of us looked for another job and got relocation as part of the package. Just a thought.

OP here. The employer would actually pay for the move as they would prefer I am in CA at the HQ office. I was a covid hire, when location didn't matter but now they have made it clear that career growth opportunities will be limited/nonexistent while I am in VA (vs CA).

If your kids are young AND its good for your career, I think its worth moving to the bay. That said, I absolutely would not buy. It sounds like you are in a biz function, probably a director+, and you're ripe for being caught in a layoff in a few years. I would try it out for a few years and save what you can. All of the areas everyone has noted is quite pricey, but given you work in Sunnyvale / Mountain View (google?), you should save a bit. No need to optimize for caltrain - you'll pay a lot more for that and you probably have a car. Traffic is brutal but you can live close enough where it won't matter.

Fed engineer here

I’m too old to move to the tech side of big tech: what does Biz Function mean? Is there any path to using my tech background to pivot to a business road at Big Tech? Long shot. As bonus we are from Bay Area but hesitated to give up stable Fed jobs (we both grew up LMC) but now that shot all away, we are looking at all options

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wouldn't do it. I'd wait til you are job hunting again and an employer will pay for your move.

We are a tech family with an HHI of 1.3M. We may eventually move to CA but are holding out as long as possible. The reality is that $900k will buy you a middle class lifestyle with a brutal commute and a hyperfocus on work. That would be true at our income as well.

And many tech companies are quietly divesting of CA. They are favoring candidates in lower cost tech hubs like Austin, ATL, DC, Nashville, Toronto, and Dublin. So a CA address may actually cut against you.

I always try to find ways to get other people to pay for things vs us. So when we wanted to move, one of us looked for another job and got relocation as part of the package. Just a thought.

OP here. The employer would actually pay for the move as they would prefer I am in CA at the HQ office. I was a covid hire, when location didn't matter but now they have made it clear that career growth opportunities will be limited/nonexistent while I am in VA (vs CA).

If your kids are young AND its good for your career, I think its worth moving to the bay. That said, I absolutely would not buy. It sounds like you are in a biz function, probably a director+, and you're ripe for being caught in a layoff in a few years. I would try it out for a few years and save what you can. All of the areas everyone has noted is quite pricey, but given you work in Sunnyvale / Mountain View (google?), you should save a bit. No need to optimize for caltrain - you'll pay a lot more for that and you probably have a car. Traffic is brutal but you can live close enough where it won't matter.

Renting is an interesting point. We have a <3% rate for our current home in VA which is hard to walk away from.

Anonymous wrote:FYI- no one from California calls it “Cali”

Point taken, multiple people upthread have also said this. Obviously not from CA or wouldn't be asking the question!

FYI- no one from California calls it “Cali”

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wouldn't do it. I'd wait til you are job hunting again and an employer will pay for your move.

We are a tech family with an HHI of 1.3M. We may eventually move to CA but are holding out as long as possible. The reality is that $900k will buy you a middle class lifestyle with a brutal commute and a hyperfocus on work. That would be true at our income as well.

And many tech companies are quietly divesting of CA. They are favoring candidates in lower cost tech hubs like Austin, ATL, DC, Nashville, Toronto, and Dublin. So a CA address may actually cut against you.

I always try to find ways to get other people to pay for things vs us. So when we wanted to move, one of us looked for another job and got relocation as part of the package. Just a thought.

OP here. The employer would actually pay for the move as they would prefer I am in CA at the HQ office. I was a covid hire, when location didn't matter but now they have made it clear that career growth opportunities will be limited/nonexistent while I am in VA (vs CA).

If your kids are young AND its good for your career, I think its worth moving to the bay. That said, I absolutely would not buy. It sounds like you are in a biz function, probably a director+, and you're ripe for being caught in a layoff in a few years. I would try it out for a few years and save what you can. All of the areas everyone has noted is quite pricey, but given you work in Sunnyvale / Mountain View (google?), you should save a bit. No need to optimize for caltrain - you'll pay a lot more for that and you probably have a car. Traffic is brutal but you can live close enough where it won't matter.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I wouldn't do it. I'd wait til you are job hunting again and an employer will pay for your move.

We are a tech family with an HHI of 1.3M. We may eventually move to CA but are holding out as long as possible. The reality is that $900k will buy you a middle class lifestyle with a brutal commute and a hyperfocus on work. That would be true at our income as well.

And many tech companies are quietly divesting of CA. They are favoring candidates in lower cost tech hubs like Austin, ATL, DC, Nashville, Toronto, and Dublin. So a CA address may actually cut against you.

I always try to find ways to get other people to pay for things vs us. So when we wanted to move, one of us looked for another job and got relocation as part of the package. Just a thought.

OP here. The employer would actually pay for the move as they would prefer I am in CA at the HQ office. I was a covid hire, when location didn't matter but now they have made it clear that career growth opportunities will be limited/nonexistent while I am in VA (vs CA).

Would go to CA but I hate VA. We left VA for DC.

OP, I wouldn't do it. I'd wait til you are job hunting again and an employer will pay for your move.

We are a tech family with an HHI of 1.3M. We may eventually move to CA but are holding out as long as possible. The reality is that $900k will buy you a middle class lifestyle with a brutal commute and a hyperfocus on work. That would be true at our income as well.

And many tech companies are quietly divesting of CA. They are favoring candidates in lower cost tech hubs like Austin, ATL, DC, Nashville, Toronto, and Dublin. So a CA address may actually cut against you.

I always try to find ways to get other people to pay for things vs us. So when we wanted to move, one of us looked for another job and got relocation as part of the package. Just a thought.

Anonymous wrote:Family is a big thing. It depends on your relationships and what you want that to look like as your kids grow up. We would never move because my kids see each set of grandparents at least weekly. But that's us.

+1