My dad died mid 70s, but my Mom and ILs are all doing well mid to late 80s. They come and visit and are actually still a big help. They helped us our entire lives and I will be happy to assist them as long as they’re safe in there are our house. What goes around, comes around.

Dignitas is sooo overpriced. Just stop drinking water. You'll be dead in 72 hours.

Happy to be dealing with elderly parent issues with our young kids out of the house (cannot imagine trying to do both). I've seen more challenges with my parents (and friend's parents ) in their 80s, but my ILs both lived well into their late 90s. I mean well, still driving, still mentally and physically sharp.

You never know, and I think we all think we will handle aging differently when we all get there (I'm early 50s), bit I don't think when we are older we will want to stop living. I don't know many, or any, that do.

I think it depends on the person. My ILs seem so old at 74 & 75. They are not active people at all.

I have an 86 yo aunt who still drives herself to FL each snowbird season. She's very active in the community she lives in down there. She's part of their dance group, choir, and theatre troupe. She exercises much more often than I do in my 40s...and she scolds me for it, too. She's not as active when she's up here because she hates the DMV traffic and many of her friends from this area have moved to other permanent locations. We take her out weekly with us to do things and have her over for dinner often. She pushes her return from FL to the DMV later and later each year and she goes down to FL earlier and earlier each year. I keep telling her to just move but she really hates the FL summer heat.

My mother is 90, love her but I don't want to have to deal or care for her anymore. I have two teens at home and needy husband and animals. She squandered all her money, no one should live past 85.

Agree. Started working out 6 days a week to age better and be independent longer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it takes incredible resolve to think “oh, I suddenly can’t remember why I walked into this room - I’d better go blow my brains out.”
Which is why almost nobody does it.

It’s very easy to talk a big game about how you would never allow yourself to end up like that.

You're looking at boomers who have no idea because they didn't live it. Believe me the Caretakers/Gen X / Millennials are not so unprepared. But you can't expect people to put their failsafes and full plans on an internet forum. Just know they're there.

You are sorely ignorant on the history of elder care. FWIW, many "boomers" did indeed live it because they had their elderly parents IN THEIR OWN HOMES because full-time nursing care was prohibitively expensive. Most of their parents did not have the kind of insurance that covered it. Entire families pitched in and helped.

Then they should know not to be a burden. But not many of them planned.

presumably you are making plans so that you are not a burden when the time comes that you need care.

YES. Haven't you been following this thread? There are plenty of us with cohesive plans precisely because of what we have been burdened with. How are you this stupid?

My MIL threatened years ago that should she ever get an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, she would end her life. FIL therefore kept her continuing cognitive decline a secret likely for five years.
When she got lost driving, FIL had to drive out to rescue her. It was only then that he grew concerned enough to request a baseline assessment in the GP’s office.

She failed the test but FIL intervened with doctor and asked that MIL not be told results directly (remembering her threat). She knows only that she can’t drive anymore and is convinced that she’s absolutely fine.

FIL has declined any and all future memory tests or even more invasive tests so that technically, she isn’t diagnosed with Alzheimer’s (or anything specific).

We are all walking on eggshells and expected to keep her diagnosis a secret from her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it takes incredible resolve to think “oh, I suddenly can’t remember why I walked into this room - I’d better go blow my brains out.”
Which is why almost nobody does it.

It’s very easy to talk a big game about how you would never allow yourself to end up like that.

You're looking at boomers who have no idea because they didn't live it. Believe me the Caretakers/Gen X / Millennials are not so unprepared. But you can't expect people to put their failsafes and full plans on an internet forum. Just know they're there.

You are sorely ignorant on the history of elder care. FWIW, many "boomers" did indeed live it because they had their elderly parents IN THEIR OWN HOMES because full-time nursing care was prohibitively expensive. Most of their parents did not have the kind of insurance that covered it. Entire families pitched in and helped.

Then they should know not to be a burden. But not many of them planned.

presumably you are making plans so that you are not a burden when the time comes that you need care.

Anonymous wrote:One thing I am a bit scared of is being 65 and not even being able to die because a 95 yo parent depends on me. My parent is however unfazed and plans to live to 100. I bite my tongue when he professes it.

It wouldn't hurt to remind your Dad that if he's 95, you'll be old too and perhaps unable to help him much. You might even be dead!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it takes incredible resolve to think “oh, I suddenly can’t remember why I walked into this room - I’d better go blow my brains out.”
Which is why almost nobody does it.

It’s very easy to talk a big game about how you would never allow yourself to end up like that.

You're looking at boomers who have no idea because they didn't live it. Believe me the Caretakers/Gen X / Millennials are not so unprepared. But you can't expect people to put their failsafes and full plans on an internet forum. Just know they're there.

You are sorely ignorant on the history of elder care. FWIW, many "boomers" did indeed live it because they had their elderly parents IN THEIR OWN HOMES because full-time nursing care was prohibitively expensive. Most of their parents did not have the kind of insurance that covered it. Entire families pitched in and helped.

Then they should know not to be a burden. But not many of them planned.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who needs to blow their brains out? That’s what the desert sun is made for! Do you know have many accidental dehydration deaths occur?? This is my plan anyways. And give it up people, 78 is old, maybe not too old but old.

I have a similar fantasy, but mine is to wait until a cold snap, get drunk, and then lay out on my porch and let hypothermia take me.

ooh this is a good idea that I haven't thought of yet. I have told my kids about Dignitas and that that is what I want.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it takes incredible resolve to think “oh, I suddenly can’t remember why I walked into this room - I’d better go blow my brains out.”
Which is why almost nobody does it.

It’s very easy to talk a big game about how you would never allow yourself to end up like that.

You're looking at boomers who have no idea because they didn't live it. Believe me the Caretakers/Gen X / Millennials are not so unprepared. But you can't expect people to put their failsafes and full plans on an internet forum. Just know they're there.

You are sorely ignorant on the history of elder care. FWIW, many "boomers" did indeed live it because they had their elderly parents IN THEIR OWN HOMES because full-time nursing care was prohibitively expensive. Most of their parents did not have the kind of insurance that covered it. Entire families pitched in and helped.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just suggest that people’s opinions on this will likely change the closer they get to being elderly. According to international surveys people in their later years are actually much happier than us cranky middle-aged folks.

https://www.brookings.edu/articles/this-happiness-age-chart-will-leave-you-with-a-smile-literally/

Of course they are happier, they have their kids to make decisions for them and care for them. It’s the kids who aren’t so happy.

and that is what all these posts are about--young people proclaiming "oh this is what I am going to do" but these really are messages to the currently or soon to be old to get themselves out of the way.

Yes.

Anonymous wrote:Yes, it takes incredible resolve to think “oh, I suddenly can’t remember why I walked into this room - I’d better go blow my brains out.”
Which is why almost nobody does it.

It’s very easy to talk a big game about how you would never allow yourself to end up like that.

You're looking at boomers who have no idea because they didn't live it. Believe me the Caretakers/Gen X / Millennials are not so unprepared. But you can't expect people to put their failsafes and full plans on an internet forum. Just know they're there.