Anonymous wrote:I have 2 girls - 25(graduated from Pitt) and working at a small jewelry store as e-commerce manager, second is 21 and still in college. They are already tight with their money and I don’t expect any support from them and get them gifts during birthdays or holidays.

Reason of being depressed and super stressed is because I broke up with my fiance a few months ago and he was kind and very supportive and helped me out with loans too but we were arguing a lot and I ended up getting my own place.

You are 42 and your oldest is 25. So you had your first child at 17. It seems to me that you faced adulthood earlier than most.

Here is my advice for youm I have been divorced for 2 years and I do not have any plans on remarrying or even dating seriously. My priority is rebuilding my finances. That should be yours as well. In a way it's good you broke up with your fiance because frankly you need to work on yourself and your fiances first. Are you seeing a therapist? You can go forgo sex or companionship for awhile. Put all your energy on your fiances.

First you must know the nearest cent your budget. Put this budget in excel and then print it. Add up all your expenses and substract your income. Every month you are in the red and this deficit keeps growing. Once you know the exact amount take that number write it down on a separate piece of paper and circle it. Stare at that number over several days. This will show you how dire your situation is.

Next call your credit card companies. Tell them how much you can pay. Most will work with youm Then look at your expenses for each line time find the maximum you can save. Once you add all of this up, go back and substract it from that number you wrote on a separate piece of paper.

Your goal right now is to STOP your monthly budget deficit from growing month after month.

Good luck

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 girls - 25(graduated from Pitt) and working at a small jewelry store as e-commerce manager, second is 21 and still in college. They are already tight with their money and I don’t expect any support from them and get them gifts during birthdays or holidays.

Reason of being depressed and super stressed is because I broke up with my fiance a few months ago and he was kind and very supportive and helped me out with loans too but we were arguing a lot and I ended up getting my own place.

You had your daughter at 17?

OP, please know that you are not alone. Lots of people find themselves in what feels like a hopeless financial situation. It does no good to beat yourself up over how it happened (except to acknowledge it and make the necessary changes going forward.

Without going into too much detail which I'm sure would be ripped to shreds by the perfect people of DCUM, I also accumulated a large amount of debt ($35,000). Check out Money Management International. It's a non profit debt management plan. I tried getting my creditors to lower my interest rate and even though I was a long time customer with good credit, they refused. I enrolled in MMI last year and it's been a great experience. The enrollment process was very easy. They work directly with your creditors to lower your interest and work out a payment plan. You make one lump sum to them each month (a $50 monthly fee is added into the payment). Within 10 days of my first payment, all my creditors had accepted the plan and my interest rates are all at 10% or lower. My monthly payment is $200 less than I was paying on just my minimum payments. My debt will be paid off in 4 years. Your credit will take a slight hit at the beginning, but this doesn't tank your credit like the debt plans that tell you to stop making payments and once you're delinquent they work out a deal. There were no missed payments at the start of the plan.

I highly recommend it. They take into consideration all of your expenses when putting together the payment plan, so be sure to list everything.

Additionally, cut back on whatever you can. Cancel streaming services. Clip coupons. Stop eating takeout. All the little things add up.

Good luck!

Is there any way you could use the assets you do have— your car and apartment—to bring in some extra money? Turo for the car, Airbnb etc for your apartment. You’d need to stay with friends or relatives when you rent out your place, and schedule the car when you don’t need it, but if you could swing it that could bring in a little more money without having a second job. Also maybe dog sitting on Rover or tutoring online like on Wyzant, both can be done on your own schedule, at home, in your down time.

Anonymous wrote:I have 2 girls - 25(graduated from Pitt) and working at a small jewelry store as e-commerce manager, second is 21 and still in college. They are already tight with their money and I don’t expect any support from them and get them gifts during birthdays or holidays.

Reason of being depressed and super stressed is because I broke up with my fiance a few months ago and he was kind and very supportive and helped me out with loans too but we were arguing a lot and I ended up getting my own place.

You need a roommate or to move in with family. And if you are not underwater on your car you should immediately sell it buy something for half the monthly payment or less. And you need to break yourself of whatever delusion convinced you that you "needed" this car in the first place or that you could afford it. You are making bad decision after bad decision and you have to dig yourself out. Your kids are out of the house. Tell them until you pay off your debt you can't buy them any more gifts or give them money. Tell your family and friends the same thing. Do not buy a single stitch of new clothing or home decor for at least a year, maybe more. Go extreme minimalist. This is your only shot at actually righting the ship. You can do it but you have to commit and it doesn't sound like you are ready for that.

Anonymous wrote:Be nice, people. OP is in trouble and asking for help. If you can’t do it then please be kind.

She doesn't actually want help. She refuses to change anything or take responsibility for what got her here in the first place.

I have 2 girls - 25(graduated from Pitt) and working at a small jewelry store as e-commerce manager, second is 21 and still in college. They are already tight with their money and I don’t expect any support from them and get them gifts during birthdays or holidays.

Reason of being depressed and super stressed is because I broke up with my fiance a few months ago and he was kind and very supportive and helped me out with loans too but we were arguing a lot and I ended up getting my own place.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had to get a better car because of my driving due to kids and the area I live in(Gettysburg,Pa). Family is spread out in that area and I need to see them from time to time. My car loan is at 7% apr and got me if the credit card debts reduced to lower apr of 7.99%.

I don’t invest a lot in 401k and max about $2500/year. I got a tax refund this year and used that towards paying down the debt.

Going back to school is I really want to do and it would increase my salary by 30-40% after 18 months of education but worried about the debt.

How are you too tired to take on per diem work but not too tired to work and go to school?

I bet if you think about this for a minute you will get an answer.

I'm not OP - but investing in training that will bring you a higher income (esp paid for by someone else) can be a smart move, even if it means you don't earn as much today.

I don't know how OP gets out of this debt but I don't think taking on $150 shifts a few times a month at the expense of getting a higher pair job 1.5 years from now is the way to do it.

Be nice, people. OP is in trouble and asking for help. If you can’t do it then please be kind.

Anonymous wrote:My family is not well off and don’t hv enough space for me. I tried living with my mom and crashed on her sofa but it was getting very difficult and stressful so I had to move out and get an apartment and it’s the cheapest I could get.

You have an excuse for everything. Stay poor then.

And learn to spell the word "have."

What’s the status of your kids? Ages? Where/with whom do they live. Kids are expensive.

And OP, all I can say is I’m sorry. I’ve never been in your shoes but have been almost homeless and hopeless.

My advice would be to take a year and work like a dog then start school once debt is better under control.

Again, sorry to hear anyone going through this.

My family is not well off and don’t hv enough space for me. I tried living with my mom and crashed on her sofa but it was getting very difficult and stressful so I had to move out and get an apartment and it’s the cheapest I could get.

Anonymous wrote:I had to get a better car because of my driving due to kids and the area I live in(Gettysburg,Pa). Family is spread out in that area and I need to see them from time to time. My car loan is at 7% apr and got me if the credit card debts reduced to lower apr of 7.99%.

I don’t invest a lot in 401k and max about $2500/year. I got a tax refund this year and used that towards paying down the debt.

Going back to school is I really want to do and it would increase my salary by 30-40% after 18 months of education but worried about the debt.

How are you too tired to take on per diem work but not too tired to work and go to school?

I don't get all of the "sell the car" posts.

The loan is almost certainly underwater. OP would have to deal with that and also have to deal with higher maintenance costs of an older, replacement car, which will likely need to be replaced sooner, anyway.

Assuming that she actually needs a car, selling it probably won't make a big improvement in the situation (of course, if it does, she should sell it immediately). Her cost to drive per mile over the next decade will likely barely change.

I could be convinced otherwise if this is a car with a high resale value and the loan is not underwater.

Anonymous wrote:I am not arguing but thought about most of the things and I am confused. I have already started putting extra hours with working over the weekend and it’s not helping as much as I want to. I am not spending on anything frivolous and only on necessity.

You have a car that costs $700/month. My HHI is $250k/yr, and we have had to replace two cars with little down and I haven’t paid even half that.

Was it a used Honda/Toyota? Because the car (the one you have) sure sounds frivolous to me.