Anonymous
Post 04/07/2025 15:03     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Anonymous wrote:Eye opening - H used to take DCs to many (not all) doctor's appointments in the past, but since he moved away for work, I have to do all doctor's appointments. They're not little anymore, and it's more serious stuff - sports injuries, dermatologists, therapy etc. or simple things like dental cleaning. I can't send a nanny with them - it's not fair and it's also not recommendable because I need to know about instructions and make decisions in some instances. My boss complained that I have too many doctor's appointments. I think that's rude and bizarre. She's a someone who used to have a SAHD (kids are now in college). What do you think about this?


She wouldn't have said that to a man. I have had many women bosses and noticed that they were nicer to me compared to other female colleagues.
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2025 11:02     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Spring Valley Pediatrics:
Open 365 days a year, including weekends and holidays, with appointments available in the mornings as needed. Call after 8:00 am on weekends and holidays to schedule.

Switch places. Why are you going places only open during your work hours
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2025 11:00     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Why cant you go to Doctor on the Weekends My old Pediatrician was open on Saturday and Sundays as all her customers worked during week.

My Dentist also was open on Saturday all day.

My current Doctor and Dentist opens at 7am every day.
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2025 09:26     Subject: Re:Too many doctor's appointments?
Your butler, footman, housekeeeper or cook cannot take your child(ren) to their appointments?
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2025 09:22     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your teenagers should be able to go to the dentist or dermatologist without you. If something comes up that you need to be involved in the decision making of, the kid or doctor can call or FaceTime you during the appointment. I started going to the ortho and dentist alone when I was 12 and to the allergist and pediatrician alone when I was 15 or 16.


I discovered that kids under 18 are not permitted to go to our dermatologist without a parent present. This is in Maryland. My daughter was a month shy of 18 and they sald she needed a parent.


But she could go get an abortion at 11 without you knowing a thing, taken to the appointment by her abuser.

The system is messed up
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2025 09:17     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As a teen I rode my bike and went to dermatologist, dentist and orthodontist on my own.
same, and pt when I had it.


NP. How on earth did this work? Minors can’t sign the paperwork. I doubt my kids’ doctors would even see then if they showed to unaccompanied, for liability reasons, if nothing else.


I think the law is that at 13 every health decision is confidential from the parents unless the kid gives permission for the parents to be informed, due to abortion. It is younger in California, I think 11 years old when we lived there over a decade ago. Parents cannot accesss any health info there, not even prescriptions, until their elementary school child consents.
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2025 09:13     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Eye opening - H used to take DCs to many (not all) doctor's appointments in the past, but since he moved away for work, I have to do all doctor's appointments. They're not little anymore, and it's more serious stuff - sports injuries, dermatologists, therapy etc. or simple things like dental cleaning. I can't send a nanny with them - it's not fair and it's also not recommendable because I need to know about instructions and make decisions in some instances. My boss complained that I have too many doctor's appointments. I think that's rude and bizarre. She's a someone who used to have a SAHD (kids are now in college). What do you think about this?


Your nanny can drive them to therapy, dental and other basic stuff.


She has a nanny for a teenager?

Goidness, yes.

Have the nanny drive her to those appointments.

Eye doctor too.
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2025 09:12     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Do you not have to take PTO for those kind of absences? Or at least use Flex Time? If you are just kind of disappearing from work for a couple hours every two weeks, I could see why she might be saying something.



It's not a few hours every two weeks. It's maybe 1-2 hours at most, sometimes every two weeks, sometimes less. I don't keep track. It's never every week though. I don't know where it's coming from, I am exempt, I work after hours as well. I think she's annoyed because I had to take FMLA (that's unpaid anyway) and now she complains about literally everything since I returned.


You are taking FMLA for routine teenager doctor and dentist appointments?

You are abusing it. That is for important stuff, not piddly stuff.
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2025 09:10     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Really complained or just made a comment? Maybe you should take a sick day or pto on occasion to knock out multiple appointments in one day.


I live in an area where you take doctor's appointments when you can get them. Most people have long wait lists if they accept insurance (or even if they don't). So that's not realistic. Also, it's not like I have 2 appointments per week or so. It's once every 2 weeks I guess, I didn't count them. Maybe less.


Why do you have appointments every two weeks?

I have two kids. They each have a well visit at the pediatrician once a year, dentist appointments twice a year that they go to without me, one has a psychiatrist every three months. Then the random urgent care appointment for strep, maybe twice a year.


Sports injury, dermatologist, dentist, IDK. Maybe it's less than every two weeks, I am not keeping track. Sometimes There's no appointment for weeks, sometimes it's more. I don't know where she gets the idea that I have too many doctor's appointments. I think she was embarrassed that she complained about not having responded to an irrelevant email and that was the only way she could turn this back on me and assign blame.


You are excessive.

No one takes their otherwise healthy teenager to that many doctors appointments.
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2025 09:08     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Really complained or just made a comment? Maybe you should take a sick day or pto on occasion to knock out multiple appointments in one day.


I live in an area where you take doctor's appointments when you can get them. Most people have long wait lists if they accept insurance (or even if they don't). So that's not realistic. Also, it's not like I have 2 appointments per week or so. It's once every 2 weeks I guess, I didn't count them. Maybe less.


Does your kid have a ton of special needs?

I have several kids and even in the height of sick seasons never went to doctors appointments as often as you say you are going.

My best friend has 2 kids with a hereditary health condition, and they don't even go as often as you say you do.

Unless you have a medically fragile child, I am leaning team boss here.

What you describe sounds very excessive to me.
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2025 07:57     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don't think it's bizarre to point out that you're taking too much time off for appts, but I don't have the type of job where taking an hour or two off or taking the morning/afternoon off has no impact on my work/my coworkers. So someone who takes a lot of time off is definitely disruptive to the work flow (but thankfully we don't work 5 days a week so have the flexibility to get stuff done other days).


It doesn't have an impact in my position wither. She was complaining because I had not replied to a non-urgent email. I was in a dr appointment that required me to communicate with the dr and staff and which took 1.5 hours (plus going back and forth). The email wasn't urgent or important. She just wanted to prove a point, I guess.


As a boss and as a mom, yes, it's possible to take too much time. I would have a chat with you but it would be about work load and deliverables. I had an employee who was the primary parent for her children because her husband worked in professional sports and was gone most of the time. She took 3 small children to appointments but delivered all her work because she would work at night to compensate. She was awesome. If your boss is making comments that make you uncomfortable initiate a conversation about deliverables and make her comfortable.
Anonymous
Post 04/07/2025 07:45     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Anonymous wrote:They can go to the dentist for a cleaning without Mommy




They cannot. Since the COVID pandemic, our doctors don’t allow anyone under 18 in for a visit without a parent. The orthodontist does but only with a letter. It doesn’t matter since we live in suburbia and where it’s not walkable without public transport. Someone has to drive them.

Enough with the snowflakes need to be coddled. It’s the community we have built. They can’t do anything without someone playing an Uber driver or for me to pay an Uber driver. At that point, I’ll just take them and explain to my childless boss that yeah, people have families.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2025 15:10     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Try to schedule as many appointments as possible on one day and you take off work for the day and that will be MUCH less disruptive to your job.


This. Why would you be taking so many days off to take them to one-off appointments? Do it on an off-day for school and take one day sick leave for you. You have to plan ahead because other parents are doing the same thing. If recurrent appts (like therapy or physical therapy) the nanny takes them.


She doesn’t have a nanny, she would have to hire a driving sitter every time.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2025 14:00     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Your teenagers should be able to go to the dentist or dermatologist without you. If something comes up that you need to be involved in the decision making of, the kid or doctor can call or FaceTime you during the appointment. I started going to the ortho and dentist alone when I was 12 and to the allergist and pediatrician alone when I was 15 or 16.


I discovered that kids under 18 are not permitted to go to our dermatologist without a parent present. This is in Maryland. My daughter was a month shy of 18 and they sald she needed a parent.


I wondered about that too. Also, kids typically need a ride to appointments, unless you are in a city or teen has their license and a car.
Anonymous
Post 04/06/2025 13:54     Subject: Too many doctor's appointments?
Anonymous wrote:Your teenagers should be able to go to the dentist or dermatologist without you. If something comes up that you need to be involved in the decision making of, the kid or doctor can call or FaceTime you during the appointment. I started going to the ortho and dentist alone when I was 12 and to the allergist and pediatrician alone when I was 15 or 16.


I discovered that kids under 18 are not permitted to go to our dermatologist without a parent present. This is in Maryland. My daughter was a month shy of 18 and they sald she needed a parent.