Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 12:48     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've saved as if my DD is going to a top 50. I don't think that's going to happen. She has some executive functioning issues her freshman and sophomore year that we are addressing. She scores fine on tests, but she has a couple of Cs on her record because she didn't turn things in on time.

I've accepted that we will just look for mid private schools. She will drown in a large state school. I went to a good school. Once I accepted my DD won't follow my path, I'm much calmer and nag much less. She will still be successful! She still has a 3.7 GPA. In what world is that not OK?


OP here - I think that is perfectly okay! I am sure she will be very very successful. Different kids are looking for different things


Really don’t mean to be rude but why is a parent who went through the process already and already shared advice continuing to insert herself in this topic. I just finished a year of college stuff and am happy to move on


Then happily move on from this thread and leave it for those of us who can be respectful and grateful to a BTDT mom.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 12:37     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I've saved as if my DD is going to a top 50. I don't think that's going to happen. She has some executive functioning issues her freshman and sophomore year that we are addressing. She scores fine on tests, but she has a couple of Cs on her record because she didn't turn things in on time.

I've accepted that we will just look for mid private schools. She will drown in a large state school. I went to a good school. Once I accepted my DD won't follow my path, I'm much calmer and nag much less. She will still be successful! She still has a 3.7 GPA. In what world is that not OK?


OP here - I think that is perfectly okay! I am sure she will be very very successful. Different kids are looking for different things


Really don’t mean to be rude but why is a parent who went through the process already and already shared advice continuing to insert herself in this topic. I just finished a year of college stuff and am happy to move on
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 12:26     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In other words, be rich and throw a lot of money at it and everything will turn out great. Thanks, OP!


This made me LOL because it's so true. Also, let's remember that being full pay is the single largest advantage one has in college admissions.


Over FGLI? Are you serious?


My kids Ivy had 75% admitted that needed aid this past cycle. Donut hole sucker here.


Given all of the thousands of full pay kids in the area getting denials (vs a mere 1-3 Ivy admits at most schools--many none)---full pay is not the hook people think it is.

+1

Full pay allows a student to apply anywhere, knowing they can attend if admitted. What it does not do is help in any significant way for admission at need-blind schools. It is not an admissions hook or even a slight tip.

--full pay, 4/0/1570, rejected at nine T50s, waitlisted at five T50s, admitted to four safeties... whether full pay will "help" on presumably need-aware waitlists remains to be seen.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 12:22     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you look at who the kid is in junior year. Then you see if you can "find a story" based on what they've loved, done, are passionate about.

It's not manufacturing it - its looking at their record.

Some kids won't have anything. And that's ok. Those kids aren't competitive for the top schools.

Other kids, of their own will and drive, will have stuff. Those kids already have a brand that they've developed. Sometimes even unknowingly. Those are often the strongest candidates and writers.


More this^^

We only looked at what my kid chose to do at the end of junior year. We could see a clear pattern in interests/activities that aligned with personality. They seemed like fairly typical things but they could be woven together. There was no planning or branding ahead of time. He wasn’t even thinking about college prior (other than get good grades).



Agree. Did this for 2 kids.
One is at Ivy, and one is a senior now admitted to 3 T20 (test optional - heaven forbid). No HS advance planning - their writing and "story" came naturally to them in 2nd semester junior year, based on their actual interests that we (parents) had nothing to do with/no experience with.


Congrats! What schools accepted dc TO? And did dc apply RD to all of them?
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 12:19     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
Anonymous wrote:Eh. I’d rather hear from parents whose kids turned out great even if they didn’t attend one of these colleges.



I agree! I’m raising interesting well rounded kids not ivy bots thanks
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 12:13     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In other words, be rich and throw a lot of money at it and everything will turn out great. Thanks, OP!


This made me LOL because it's so true. Also, let's remember that being full pay is the single largest advantage one has in college admissions.


Over FGLI? Are you serious?


My kids Ivy had 75% admitted that needed aid this past cycle. Donut hole sucker here.


Given all of the thousands of full pay kids in the area getting denials (vs a mere 1-3 Ivy admits at most schools--many none)---full pay is not the hook people think it is.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 12:12     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In other words, be rich and throw a lot of money at it and everything will turn out great. Thanks, OP!


This made me LOL because it's so true. Also, let's remember that being full pay is the single largest advantage one has in college admissions.


Over FGLI? Are you serious?


My kids Ivy had 75% admitted that needed aid this past cycle. Donut hole sucker here.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 12:08     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:In other words, be rich and throw a lot of money at it and everything will turn out great. Thanks, OP!


This made me LOL because it's so true. Also, let's remember that being full pay is the single largest advantage one has in college admissions.


Over FGLI? Are you serious?
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 12:02     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you look at who the kid is in junior year. Then you see if you can "find a story" based on what they've loved, done, are passionate about.

It's not manufacturing it - its looking at their record.

Some kids won't have anything. And that's ok. Those kids aren't competitive for the top schools.

Other kids, of their own will and drive, will have stuff. Those kids already have a brand that they've developed. Sometimes even unknowingly. Those are often the strongest candidates and writers.


More this^^

We only looked at what my kid chose to do at the end of junior year. We could see a clear pattern in interests/activities that aligned with personality. They seemed like fairly typical things but they could be woven together. There was no planning or branding ahead of time. He wasn’t even thinking about college prior (other than get good grades).



Agree. Did this for 2 kids.
One is at Ivy, and one is a senior now admitted to 3 T20 (test optional - heaven forbid). No HS advance planning - their writing and "story" came naturally to them in 2nd semester junior year, based on their actual interests that we (parents) had nothing to do with/no experience with.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 10:24     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
Anonymous wrote:I think you look at who the kid is in junior year. Then you see if you can "find a story" based on what they've loved, done, are passionate about.

It's not manufacturing it - its looking at their record.

Some kids won't have anything. And that's ok. Those kids aren't competitive for the top schools.

Other kids, of their own will and drive, will have stuff. Those kids already have a brand that they've developed. Sometimes even unknowingly. Those are often the strongest candidates and writers.


More this^^

We only looked at what my kid chose to do at the end of junior year. We could see a clear pattern in interests/activities that aligned with personality. They seemed like fairly typical things but they could be woven together. There was no planning or branding ahead of time. He wasn’t even thinking about college prior (other than get good grades).
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 10:21     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Seems like good advice if the family's absolute priority is to get admission into an ivy or ivy-ish school. But this parent driven strategy since 9th grade, with tutors involved at first A- or B, and focusing on every single point on each small assignment and curating interests/ECs and manufacturing their "passion" to create a narrative just for the purposes of ivy admission sounds exhausting and inauthentic. I do wonder as parents what we are teaching our kids if we follow this strategy and they observe what matters to us.

I don't see a lot of failure, creativity or authenticity being celebrated here.

College "entrance" is not a destination in itself. I do worry this coaching is so focused on entry not experience.

These are the last years our kids will live with us full-time. This is their adolescence and the end of their teen years. It should be for exploration, ups and downs and learning from bumps. Not just a curated well-paved path to enter a prestigious place with tons of scaffolding and support.


I don’t know my first got in unhooked with no branding or paid counselor. I was his essay editor. A few weeks of test prep. That’s it. He just did what he wanted, had a summer job, etc


I was responding to OP who wrote this in the initial post:

"For our first child we did use an extra college counselor, but we didn’t feel the need to do the same for the next two. We learned enough with the first. I also acknowledge we had a lot of privilege when it came to paying for tutors, extracurriculars, etc…:


Why are you responding to my post stating that’? I’m not OP- I wrote the above post not you.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 10:18     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
+1
And the LOR all reinforce that persona.
Don’t overthink this.

Listen to some podcasts about this - search old threads where many of us have given recs.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 09:44     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
Anonymous wrote:If you use “branding” (without quotation marks around it) in any context, you immediately lose 80% of the readers & should be sent to a re-education camp in Mongolia.


Branding isn’t this tedious exercise.
It’s a soundbite, an academic persona, a narrative that weaves through your entire application. Basically it’s a short tidbit so AO can remember you, and in turn want to bring you to committee and then once there, wants to fight for you.

It’s not that serious.
Anonymous
Post 04/05/2025 07:36     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
If you use “branding” (without quotation marks around it) in any context, you immediately lose 80% of the readers & should be sent to a re-education camp in Mongolia.
Anonymous
Post 04/04/2025 17:42     Subject: What I learned after doing the college app process with 3 kids
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think you look at who the kid is in junior year. Then you see if you can "find a story" based on what they've loved, done, are passionate about.

It's not manufacturing it - its looking at their record.

Some kids won't have anything. And that's ok. Those kids aren't competitive for the top schools.

Other kids, of their own will and drive, will have stuff. Those kids already have a brand that they've developed. Sometimes even unknowingly. Those are often the strongest candidates and writers.


🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮🤮


Weirdo. Everyone brands themselves - it’s actual important as an adult.


DP. No, not everyone. Only the d-bags we make fun of.


NP. Who hurt you?