Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 19:55     Subject: High stats kid with disappointing end results?
Kids should be allowed to feel disappointment, frustration, etc. but to a point… The goal posts have moved in college admissions and it’s been that way for several years if not more. It’s good to have goals but goals that are tied to selective college admissions can be tricky because there’s only so much the kids can do to control the outcome. All they can do is apply to a realistic range of schools and make sure some of those schools are places that they would be excited to attend.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 19:42     Subject: High stats kid with disappointing end results?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Gosh ... NYU is so many kids' dream school...
I can't read this kind of post.


Oh, please. It is like someone posting that their kid can’t break above a 1450 on the SAT and you having a kid who can’t get above a 1250 so you “can’t read that kind of post.” Different kids have different goals and hopes…a high stats kid who worked for years towards a goal as the right to feel disappointed when it didn’t pan out and a safety becomes the best of the not-hoped for options.



10000+
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 19:41     Subject: Re:High stats kid with disappointing end results?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I spent four years telling my kid that he should do his best and if he got top grades, good ECs, high scores that it would prepare him to succeed and get a lottery ticket. He got straight As with the exception of an honors science class sophomore year, 88.87. Our school district doesn’t round up and he had the bad luck to get a teacher who didn’t allow retakes or extra credit. I assured him that two semesters of Bs would not ruin his future. The only kids who got As in that class were three cheaters which really annoyed him. He had excellent ECs which were his authentically. He took a bunch of dual enrollment units and as many APs as the school would allow. His essays were great and not written by someone else. I told him how proud we were but to prepared for things to go differently. His older cousin was valedictorian, perfect SATs and was shut out from all but one of his safeties. My son’s guidance counselor was overly encouraging telling him he had an excellent shot at his dream school.

My son did not get into his dream school or his targets but got into a few safeties. He’s crushed. To make matters worst, the two kids in his school that got in lied on their apps, cheated their way through school, and paid someone else to write their essays. He tutored them in several subjects and always went out of his way to help other students. He’s really struggling with reality that being ethical and helping others doesn’t pay off but lying and cheating does.


That's a tough lesson, and I could see teens falling into that trap. Why play by the rules when you don't get rewarded in the end?


Don't get my kid started on the "extra time" scam. (I am not saying there aren't kids who deserve extra time. DC has friends with legit extra time needs, and he respects it. He does not respect kids who openly discuss faking "test anxiety" to get a doctors note for extra time on the ACT or midterms.


Nobody deserves extra time. If you don't test well then go test optional.


Kids with ADHD and processing disorders _do_ need extra time. My kid has a 99%ile ability and 40%ile processing speed. DC can came up with answers to questions that other kids struggle with (even if those kids have unlimited time). I have other kids, and so I know this child isn’t faking it. There is an actual issue. If I were AO or employee, I would want to admit or hire my kid because this kid has real flashes of brilliance even if it takes him longer to get there.

And, yes, kids like mine get into a perfectly good colleges without cheating.


+1. It frustrates me when I see people post assertions like this! So many people have developed rigid and polarized thinking and don't understand the situation at all.

It's possible (common actually) for a kid to be gifted AND have a learning disability. It's incredibly difficult to navigate education in our country for kids with complex needs like this. People like PP want to offer no flexibility for processing time, while educators often try to flake out on supporting the kid because he or she is so intelligent. It's such a mess.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 19:37     Subject: High stats kid with disappointing end results?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Anyone with high stats kids, who didn't get where you thought they should? Thought mine would land a few T25s, but didn't. She got into NYU, UMD and GWU, which are good choices but still feel a bit bummed.

Anyone experiencing this? How to get over it.


All of us with high stat kids have at least one school that said no if you aimed at T10.


+1
It's also a matter of defining high stats. DC thinks that means 4.8+ weighted GPA and 1550+SAT/35+ACT in MCPS. The top 10% at their school easily meets that bar.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 19:35     Subject: High stats kid with disappointing end results?
Just commenting on the "extra time" debate. My twice exceptional kid gets extra time which he used one in a SAT exam and refused to do thereafter for SAT or AP exams because it felt weird to sit around, he felt like he was getting "cold" if that makes sense. His best score came on regular time. I too have debated about this extra time thing, like how does this translate to life? It seems really weird to give these different rules all through school and college then you hit the real world. But as I reflected, the real world has little do with time based performance. In my experience, as a c-level exec, the multi-M and even $B ideas comes in spurts, inspiration. Not in 120 minute work periods. Being very sharp is key, but work ethic is also key, and creativity and innovation is ALSO key. You can transform a company with true intellect and it does not need to be on a timed basis TBH. Truely passionate innnovative people never stop thinking and this is where breaktrhoughs come from. Not from 20 extra minutes on a test or 20 extra minutes on a task. I THINK they are trying to keep these bright kids in the mix by not ruling them out for 20-30 minute processing delays, because in the real world this is not a factor. That said, my kid did not like the extra time.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 19:35     Subject: Re:High stats kid with disappointing end results?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Hi OP, my son also is choosing between UMD Honors (in state for us), NYU and GWU interestingly! He only applied to one Ivy and two other Top 20 so was not surprised that he didn't get in, but was a tad bit disappointed. But we are all thankful that he has great options to choose from. You should be proud of your daughter!


Op here, we r OOS for UMD. What major?


Electrical Engineering for UMD (engineering for the other schools too).



Business program.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 19:28     Subject: High stats kid with disappointing end results?
People need to have realistic expectations and understand basic math. Every year there are about 75,000 high school graduates with GPAs of over 4.0 and 1500+/35+ SAT/ACT. Enough to fill every seat in the top 20+ schools.

But those schools need athletes, band members, etc. So, if your kid didn’t have those stats and got into a top 25 they won the admissions lottery, congratulations.

If they did have those stats and got into schools like NYU, GWU, or UMD, etc., they still did well, congratulations.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 19:19     Subject: Re:High stats kid with disappointing end results?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I spent four years telling my kid that he should do his best and if he got top grades, good ECs, high scores that it would prepare him to succeed and get a lottery ticket. He got straight As with the exception of an honors science class sophomore year, 88.87. Our school district doesn’t round up and he had the bad luck to get a teacher who didn’t allow retakes or extra credit. I assured him that two semesters of Bs would not ruin his future. The only kids who got As in that class were three cheaters which really annoyed him. He had excellent ECs which were his authentically. He took a bunch of dual enrollment units and as many APs as the school would allow. His essays were great and not written by someone else. I told him how proud we were but to prepared for things to go differently. His older cousin was valedictorian, perfect SATs and was shut out from all but one of his safeties. My son’s guidance counselor was overly encouraging telling him he had an excellent shot at his dream school.

My son did not get into his dream school or his targets but got into a few safeties. He’s crushed. To make matters worst, the two kids in his school that got in lied on their apps, cheated their way through school, and paid someone else to write their essays. He tutored them in several subjects and always went out of his way to help other students. He’s really struggling with reality that being ethical and helping others doesn’t pay off but lying and cheating does.


That's a tough lesson, and I could see teens falling into that trap. Why play by the rules when you don't get rewarded in the end?


Don't get my kid started on the "extra time" scam. (I am not saying there aren't kids who deserve extra time. DC has friends with legit extra time needs, and he respects it. He does not respect kids who openly discuss faking "test anxiety" to get a doctors note for extra time on the ACT or midterms.


Nobody deserves extra time. If you don't test well then go test optional.


Nope, someone who actually has a learning disability does deserve the extra time. Until you have a kid with a LD, you wouldn't really understand.
Then again, most of those kids are not heading to a T20 school
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 19:15     Subject: High stats kid with disappointing end results?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Undergrad is so random. Don't worry about it. Just tell them to work hard. Grad school are a lot more predictable result.


Grad school is not that much more predictable. In some cases, even less so.


Yes it is.
Grad school is way easier to get into.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 19:10     Subject: Re:High stats kid with disappointing end results?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I spent four years telling my kid that he should do his best and if he got top grades, good ECs, high scores that it would prepare him to succeed and get a lottery ticket. He got straight As with the exception of an honors science class sophomore year, 88.87. Our school district doesn’t round up and he had the bad luck to get a teacher who didn’t allow retakes or extra credit. I assured him that two semesters of Bs would not ruin his future. The only kids who got As in that class were three cheaters which really annoyed him. He had excellent ECs which were his authentically. He took a bunch of dual enrollment units and as many APs as the school would allow. His essays were great and not written by someone else. I told him how proud we were but to prepared for things to go differently. His older cousin was valedictorian, perfect SATs and was shut out from all but one of his safeties. My son’s guidance counselor was overly encouraging telling him he had an excellent shot at his dream school.

My son did not get into his dream school or his targets but got into a few safeties. He’s crushed. To make matters worst, the two kids in his school that got in lied on their apps, cheated their way through school, and paid someone else to write their essays. He tutored them in several subjects and always went out of his way to help other students. He’s really struggling with reality that being ethical and helping others doesn’t pay off but lying and cheating does.


That's a tough lesson, and I could see teens falling into that trap. Why play by the rules when you don't get rewarded in the end?


Don't get my kid started on the "extra time" scam. (I am not saying there aren't kids who deserve extra time. DC has friends with legit extra time needs, and he respects it. He does not respect kids who openly discuss faking "test anxiety" to get a doctors note for extra time on the ACT or midterms.


Nobody deserves extra time. If you don't test well then go test optional.


Be thankful you have perfect kids who have nothing going on.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 19:09     Subject: High stats kid with disappointing end results?
NYU, GWU and UMD are all great options!! I’m excited and happy for your kid, so nice to have great choices. My high stats (cum laude, 1500+ SAT) kid didn’t aim as high but was also rejected at the one T-10 they applied to and waitlisted at two T-25’s and at a T30-T50. You’re not alone. Like your kid, my kid had several great options in the T-30 to T-50 schools. I was just relieved and grateful that my kid had options that they could be happy about. I hope your kid feel the same way and is getting excited about her options. Go to admitted student days, buy some T-shirts!
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 18:34     Subject: High stats kid with disappointing end results?
Anonymous wrote:Undergrad is so random. Don't worry about it. Just tell them to work hard. Grad school are a lot more predictable result.


Grad school is not that much more predictable. In some cases, even less so.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 18:30     Subject: Re:High stats kid with disappointing end results?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I spent four years telling my kid that he should do his best and if he got top grades, good ECs, high scores that it would prepare him to succeed and get a lottery ticket. He got straight As with the exception of an honors science class sophomore year, 88.87. Our school district doesn’t round up and he had the bad luck to get a teacher who didn’t allow retakes or extra credit. I assured him that two semesters of Bs would not ruin his future. The only kids who got As in that class were three cheaters which really annoyed him. He had excellent ECs which were his authentically. He took a bunch of dual enrollment units and as many APs as the school would allow. His essays were great and not written by someone else. I told him how proud we were but to prepared for things to go differently. His older cousin was valedictorian, perfect SATs and was shut out from all but one of his safeties. My son’s guidance counselor was overly encouraging telling him he had an excellent shot at his dream school.

My son did not get into his dream school or his targets but got into a few safeties. He’s crushed. To make matters worst, the two kids in his school that got in lied on their apps, cheated their way through school, and paid someone else to write their essays. He tutored them in several subjects and always went out of his way to help other students. He’s really struggling with reality that being ethical and helping others doesn’t pay off but lying and cheating does.


That's a tough lesson, and I could see teens falling into that trap. Why play by the rules when you don't get rewarded in the end?


Don't get my kid started on the "extra time" scam. (I am not saying there aren't kids who deserve extra time. DC has friends with legit extra time needs, and he respects it. He does not respect kids who openly discuss faking "test anxiety" to get a doctors note for extra time on the ACT or midterms.


Nobody deserves extra time. If you don't test well then go test optional.


Kids with ADHD and processing disorders _do_ need extra time. My kid has a 99%ile ability and 40%ile processing speed. DC can came up with answers to questions that other kids struggle with (even if those kids have unlimited time). I have other kids, and so I know this child isn’t faking it. There is an actual issue. If I were AO or employee, I would want to admit or hire my kid because this kid has real flashes of brilliance even if it takes him longer to get there.

And, yes, kids like mine get into a perfectly good colleges without cheating.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 18:19     Subject: Re:High stats kid with disappointing end results?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I spent four years telling my kid that he should do his best and if he got top grades, good ECs, high scores that it would prepare him to succeed and get a lottery ticket. He got straight As with the exception of an honors science class sophomore year, 88.87. Our school district doesn’t round up and he had the bad luck to get a teacher who didn’t allow retakes or extra credit. I assured him that two semesters of Bs would not ruin his future. The only kids who got As in that class were three cheaters which really annoyed him. He had excellent ECs which were his authentically. He took a bunch of dual enrollment units and as many APs as the school would allow. His essays were great and not written by someone else. I told him how proud we were but to prepared for things to go differently. His older cousin was valedictorian, perfect SATs and was shut out from all but one of his safeties. My son’s guidance counselor was overly encouraging telling him he had an excellent shot at his dream school.

My son did not get into his dream school or his targets but got into a few safeties. He’s crushed. To make matters worst, the two kids in his school that got in lied on their apps, cheated their way through school, and paid someone else to write their essays. He tutored them in several subjects and always went out of his way to help other students. He’s really struggling with reality that being ethical and helping others doesn’t pay off but lying and cheating does.


That's a tough lesson, and I could see teens falling into that trap. Why play by the rules when you don't get rewarded in the end?


Don't get my kid started on the "extra time" scam. (I am not saying there aren't kids who deserve extra time. DC has friends with legit extra time needs, and he respects it. He does not respect kids who openly discuss faking "test anxiety" to get a doctors note for extra time on the ACT or midterms.


Nobody deserves extra time. If you don't test well then go test optional.
Anonymous
Post 03/31/2025 18:10     Subject: High stats kid with disappointing end results?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Are your schools not using Naviance or Maia learning?

Our experience with it helped tremendously in terms of setting expectations.


But hard to use these when the gpa is from graduation and you are applying with your gpa from 11th. It can go up so much!


The change is negligible once three years are done. If a kid has a 3.5 by end of junior year and a 4.0 for senior classes, the end result is a 3.6—higher, but no game changer.

If you’re sure the scattergram shows senior year, you can calculate the best GPA your kid can and up with. Use that as the best optimistic estimate. Don’t forget to use a more pessimistic version with steady (or lower!) senior grades, too.