Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound pissed off but what do you really know about your parent's financial situation? Have they been making $300k for 15 years or did they go from $150k to $300k just over the last 5? And, while I saved for my kids education, I do think it is dumb that we expect parents to pay tens of thousands (or hundreds of thousands) for college.

Don't go into massive debt for your undergrad. You'll be happy LOTS of places. The key is to make the most of where you go. I mean you can go to an Ivy and not take advantage of it or you can go to a state school and rock it and come out with internships and job opportunities. What you make of it is up to you. Why saddle yourself with years of debt that will hinder what you want next?

parents have to explain their situation. they have money to put on a screened in porch. they have *some* extra money and they need to be clear.

also, it's fine to say you dont want to a big giant school or a tiny school or .. yes .. a southern school.

No, they don't have to explain anything else. They have explained their situation which is that they do not intend to pay for college. What could be clearer?

Work your butt off to get high test scores - like 35-36 on ACT or 1550-1600 on SAT. Work like mad to get 5s on your APs. Have decent ECs that show leadership. You can shoot your shot for Harvard/MIT, and they will likely not force full-pay due to endowments, but it is unlikely any other Ivy Leagues would do the same. So, then, look at in-state options (UMD is a great school - don't listen to the haters - and of course, UVA/W&M if you are from Virginia. In-state tuition you can swing with a bit of help from the parents and some loans. Then, look at OOS flagships. some of the non-top tier - like UVM, Utah, AZ, offer Honors colleges and large scholarships that bring the COA down to in-state prices and below. Utah allows for residency Sophomore year, so that brings down the cost even further. Don't get hung up on the prestige factor - if you really are as great as your stats may indicate, then you will go far with the opportunities provided at a state school. Most of all, don't despair. You will turn out great. [I, too, had parents that refused to pay for college and I paid for college at a regional LAC with merit scholarships and loans. I have a good life and am able to pay for my children's higher education - you'll get there, too.]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you sound pissed off but what do you really know about your parent's financial situation? Have they been making $300k for 15 years or did they go from $150k to $300k just over the last 5? And, while I saved for my kids education, I do think it is dumb that we expect parents to pay tens of thousands (or hundreds of thousands) for college.

Don't go into massive debt for your undergrad. You'll be happy LOTS of places. The key is to make the most of where you go. I mean you can go to an Ivy and not take advantage of it or you can go to a state school and rock it and come out with internships and job opportunities. What you make of it is up to you. Why saddle yourself with years of debt that will hinder what you want next?

parents have to explain their situation. they have money to put on a screened in porch. they have *some* extra money and they need to be clear.

also, it's fine to say you dont want to a big giant school or a tiny school or .. yes .. a southern school.

Anonymous wrote:OP: You’re young, so I’m gonna give a side of grace with tough love: Let Go Of Dream School Dream. It’s a lottery even if you have the stats. Even if your parent could afford it, you may not get in.

I was a poor (but not poor enough for fin aid as my single parent recently “made it” my junior year of hs. Income livable then but not a fully funded 529 nor able to pay $20k/yr) high stat kid so I didn’t have the (understandable) resentment on my parent’s financial priorities. I went to the in state (not dmv) option I found most tolerable & with the full ride. I made the most of it.
Networked & ultimately did research with several full professors in my double major. Had glowing letters of recommendation for a top 10 PhD program in my field where everyone else was either Ivy, highly selective school, or foreign with years of experience. I ended up in the same place I could have been at another school —debt free—because I got over myself & took advantage of being the bigger fish in the pond.

Agree with this 100%.

OPs situation is very common outside of the DMV and was even more common 30 years ago. Both my husband and I grew up with professional parents (household incomes >100K which was decent in 1992). We got into top schools but our respective parents refused to go into debt or live off Ramen when there were cheaper options for college. We each ended up at second/third tier state schools for free and then attended top graduate schools.

Only in DCUM does everyone have the money for elite schools and the expectation of attending them.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why the eyeroll for "southern schools?"

I was just going to post this same question. Op, please explain.

I want to work in the Northeast after grad + South is way too red

I see. Your choices are of course your own, but I would encourage you to be more open minded.

Shhh. The OP sounds insufferable and it’s better that obnoxious people stay up in the NE. It’s a win win.

this is the way people see you MAGA types. get used to it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why the eyeroll for "southern schools?"

I was just going to post this same question. Op, please explain.

I want to work in the Northeast after grad + South is way too red

I see. Your choices are of course your own, but I would encourage you to be more open minded.

Precisely OP is arrogant

Disagree. A young woman of reproductive age isn't wrong to consider politics in this age.

Anonymous wrote:You'll probably get a full ride from CNU. Apply to a variety of schools in and out of state, and call your parents' bluff.

Based on the way you've described them, they will likely find a way to pay for MIT (or other T20) if the alternative is telling their friends you are going to CNU. Tell them you're not willing to go into debt for your education and see what happens.

Or tell them you refuse to go to college or to apply to any college that they don't agree to pay for beforehand. Play the game of bluff. Once they believe their stubbornness means you won't go to college, they just might cave...

Learn to play hardball.

You'll probably get a full ride from CNU. Apply to a variety of schools in and out of state, and call your parents' bluff.

Based on the way you've described them, they will likely find a way to pay for MIT (or other T20) if the alternative is telling their friends you are going to CNU. Tell them you're not willing to go into debt for your education and see what happens.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why the eyeroll for "southern schools?"

I was just going to post this same question. Op, please explain.

I want to work in the Northeast after grad + South is way too red

I see. Your choices are of course your own, but I would encourage you to be more open minded.

Shhh. The OP sounds insufferable and it’s better that obnoxious people stay up in the NE. It’s a win win.

I don't think the OP is the one who sounds insufferable.

Yeah, your parents are being jerks. Doesn't mean they don't love you. Doesn't mean they are not great parents. But all of us are jerks sometimes. And that's what your parents are here. Forgive them for it down the road and don't do the same to your kids.

You will have to go the state school route and hopefully get into UVA, W&M, or Tech. You also need to suck it up and keep more of an open mind about the south and west. Forget Texas and UNC -- we are talking elite schools here -- but Ole Miss gives great merit, as does Arizona (though less than they used to). When you get in with low cost, then they might cave in and pay for the rest. Hopefully, they are bluffing about not paying anything.

If they are not bluffing, my advice would be not to go to college and to work, get independence as an adult in a couple years, and then you will qualify for financial aid...

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why the eyeroll for "southern schools?"

I was just going to post this same question. Op, please explain.

I want to work in the Northeast after grad + South is way too red

I see. Your choices are of course your own, but I would encourage you to be more open minded.

Shhh. The OP sounds insufferable and it’s better that obnoxious people stay up in the NE. It’s a win win.

OP: You’re young, so I’m gonna give a side of grace with tough love: Let Go Of Dream School Dream. It’s a lottery even if you have the stats. Even if your parent could afford it, you may not get in.

I was a poor (but not poor enough for fin aid as my single parent recently “made it” my junior year of hs. Income livable then but not a fully funded 529 nor able to pay $20k/yr) high stat kid so I didn’t have the (understandable) resentment on my parent’s financial priorities. I went to the in state (not dmv) option I found most tolerable & with the full ride. I made the most of it.
Networked & ultimately did research with several full professors in my double major. Had glowing letters of recommendation for a top 10 PhD program in my field where everyone else was either Ivy, highly selective school, or foreign with years of experience. I ended up in the same place I could have been at another school —debt free—because I got over myself & took advantage of being the bigger fish in the pond.

OP, you sound pissed off but what do you really know about your parent's financial situation? Have they been making $300k for 15 years or did they go from $150k to $300k just over the last 5? And, while I saved for my kids education, I do think it is dumb that we expect parents to pay tens of thousands (or hundreds of thousands) for college.

Don't go into massive debt for your undergrad. You'll be happy LOTS of places. The key is to make the most of where you go. I mean you can go to an Ivy and not take advantage of it or you can go to a state school and rock it and come out with internships and job opportunities. What you make of it is up to you. Why saddle yourself with years of debt that will hinder what you want next?

OP, what race?

Anonymous wrote:You are not a brat. It’s really no different than you coming from a poor family. Not your fault for being born into this family. This is a situation many kids are in.

If you are a high stats student chase the money but T20 schools will probably not happen for merit.

Look at a Stamps scholarship. There are 37 schools they partner with and most offer full cost of attendance plus enrichment grants. They are competitive but if it’s more about leadership and passion than just grades and scores. My kid is at one of the schools. She is actually making money!

There are so many other schools that offer full rides. Look at NC State Park scholarship…if you are National Merit UT Dallas offers full ride so does VCU.

And as you mentioned before ROTC. Several of her friends went that route and they are at Cornell and Brown.

When others say you can borrow as a student there is a limit to that your parents will have to take out a parent plus loan which doesn’t sound like they will.
YOU can do this! Not sure if you stated what year you are in but highly recommend to start early. Merit scholarships usually need to be in Oct 15, Nov 1 and in some cases Dec 1. The earlier the better.
Goodluck!

ROTC does not pay room and board so Cornell and Brown are still going to be up to 30K/year. It won't be the easiest to pay this back as OP will be active duty for at least 4 years after graduation. Most people who choose these options have the ability to pay cash for this part.
There are some universities that throw in free room and board for ROTC students but they are lower ranked schools that are trying to recruit students. These would be better options for OP.