Anonymous
03/13/2025 13:34
Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:1. Where you go to grad/professional school is more important than where you go to college for career trajectory.
2. Mental health going into college is key for freshman year to go well. Do not go to college burned out or on fumes. Being emotionally stable and strong and going to a medium prestige school is better long-term than obsessively chasing high stats to chase a high prestige school.
3. We the parents are the clients, not the colleges. We don't need to say "how high?" when colleges say "jump". Put your kid and what they want ahead of the college you want for your own ego.
4. The goal is happiness, emotional stability and self-actualization for you kid. Nothing more, nothing less.
This. Beautifully said.
Anonymous
03/13/2025 13:14
Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The humanities kids get in to T25 with lower stats, especially if they have ANY sort of well-regarded honor or award.
Makes you sound like they are undeserving when the truth of the matter is that they should be favored even more than they are, to stem (pardon the pun) the STEM+business+econ trade school tide. I’d go so far as to say they merit a tuition reduction, as they cost almost nothing to teach and get no benefit from a school’s latest science center in the hundreds of millions.
+1
T25 schools are much more than STEM diploma factories …..
+2
Diversity of academic interests matters a great deal to liberal arts colleges. And the essays really matter, above all if you're a STEM kid with a nearly identical application to thousands of others.
Anonymous
03/13/2025 13:11
Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:The humanities kids get in to T25 with lower stats, especially if they have ANY sort of well-regarded honor or award.
Makes you sound like they are undeserving when the truth of the matter is that they should be favored even more than they are, to stem (pardon the pun) the STEM+business+econ trade school tide. I’d go so far as to say they merit a tuition reduction, as they cost almost nothing to teach and get no benefit from a school’s latest science center in the hundreds of millions.
+1
T25 schools are much more than STEM diploma factories …..
The nation needs more STEM graduates not snowflakes who get luxury degrees in humanities bs.
Yes and there are many schools specifically geared to STEM students. If they have zero interest in elite humanities offerings, those students don't need to be at a liberal arts college (aka an Ivy).
Anonymous
03/13/2025 13:10
Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
I was surprised how mean and judgmental people can be about other people’s kids. Adult snark is one thing, mocking teenagers quite another. Regardless of the anonymous nature of this forum, I don’t understand why anyone feels the need to belittle a high schooler’s character, intellect, or choice of ECs, college, major, etc.
Anonymous
03/13/2025 13:08
Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
How affordable college is going to be compared to private high school -- not sure yet where DD will end up, but with merit aid and international options, she has multiple schools that she is excited about and cost less than the tuition I have been cash-flowing for the last four years.
Anonymous
03/13/2025 13:04
Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Life outside the MD/DC/VA bubble is very, very different.
In our highly rated public school in a suburb of a smallish city, only 15-20% of kids, at most, are even considering T10 schools. Most are looking at the various state schools and mid-tier privates within a 4-6 hour drive, at most.
It’s a very different world than the DV area. Less of a pressure cooker. But also less information and help available locally. And our school is certainly not a “pipeline” to any T25. But our top kids with top credentials have done well over the years. Fingers crossed for the classes of 2025 and 2026.
In our highly rated public school in a suburb of a smallish city, only 15-20% of kids, at most, are even considering T10 schools. Most are looking at the various state schools and mid-tier privates within a 4-6 hour drive, at most.
It’s a very different world than the DV area. Less of a pressure cooker. But also less information and help available locally. And our school is certainly not a “pipeline” to any T25. But our top kids with top credentials have done well over the years. Fingers crossed for the classes of 2025 and 2026.
Anonymous
03/13/2025 12:59
Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Learned that unless your kid is a recruited athlete, their playing varsity all throughout high school and being named as captain for multiple seasons is not going to make a difference in any way from any other EC.
You learned that from DCUM, it's the DCUM conventional wisdom, but you still don't know that for a fact from admissions. In fact you don't know whether any kind of EC made a difference. It's all speculation.
DS was not a recruited athlete but was varsity four years and team captain etc. and was accepted to a great school that rejected many of his classmates who were not varsity athletes, team captains etc. Was his varsity sport what made a difference? Maybe. Who knows. I can't say for sure that it didn't, despite the confidence of DCUM on this issue.
I understand what you are saying and do agree but, again as you have written, it is impossible to know all the factors when comparing application to application.
But what I am here to say is that my DS was so involved in multiple HS sports that he did not have the time, or energy, to pursue many other ECs. He relied on just the sports and it did not pay off as we had hoped.
Anonymous
03/13/2025 12:57
Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Surprised at how average my private school, 3.8W, 1260, varsity athlete, part time job, 6 AP, white DD was, at least compared to her peers in the DMV.
Then surprised that she ended up almost exactly where her school counselor predicted, at a very good, T100 school. I held out hope that she would somehow get into T20, in the face of facts to the contrary.
Unsurprised that she handled herself admirably throughout and is excited to go to college.
Surprised at parents who are stressing over the cost of the SLAC their DC wants to attend.
Surprised at how some parents try to over-sell why their child is going to a school that is not T50.
Then surprised that she ended up almost exactly where her school counselor predicted, at a very good, T100 school. I held out hope that she would somehow get into T20, in the face of facts to the contrary.
Unsurprised that she handled herself admirably throughout and is excited to go to college.
Surprised at parents who are stressing over the cost of the SLAC their DC wants to attend.
Surprised at how some parents try to over-sell why their child is going to a school that is not T50.
Anonymous
03/13/2025 12:52
Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Learned that unless your kid is a recruited athlete, their playing varsity all throughout high school and being named as captain for multiple seasons is not going to make a difference in any way from any other EC.
You learned that from DCUM, it's the DCUM conventional wisdom, but you still don't know that for a fact from admissions. In fact you don't know whether any kind of EC made a difference. It's all speculation.
DS was not a recruited athlete but was varsity four years and team captain etc. and was accepted to a great school that rejected many of his classmates who were not varsity athletes, team captains etc. Was his varsity sport what made a difference? Maybe. Who knows. I can't say for sure that it didn't, despite the confidence of DCUM on this issue.
+100
The bias against athletes on DCUM is crazy.
Anonymous
03/13/2025 12:48
Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My DD, did national debate circuit. Yes that is a huge commitment travel, overnight stays, judging . But most of schools and students she competed against went to T15 schools and she became friends with across the nation. Funny some one mentioned TX, CA, its the sheer volume of schools.
It's beyond that. I know of a Country Day school in the Bay area that has kids competing nationally in middle school. I've seen their 8 graders dismantle teams from elite colleges.
As a parent of a kid in a well-regarded Bay Area high school where I’ve been underwhelmed by the academics, I’d love to know the school you’re talking about.
Almaden Country Day.... They have a teacher who has been a national level debate coach for decades so it is just a part of what they do. The best of them usually feed into Mitty.
Anonymous
03/13/2025 12:48
Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:1. Where you go to grad/professional school is more important than where you go to college for career trajectory.
2. Mental health going into college is key for freshman year to go well. Do not go to college burned out or on fumes. Being emotionally stable and strong and going to a medium prestige school is better long-term than obsessively chasing high stats to chase a high prestige school.
3. We the parents are the clients, not the colleges. We don't need to say "how high?" when colleges say "jump". Put your kid and what they want ahead of the college you want for your own ego.
4. The goal is happiness, emotional stability and self-actualization for you kid. Nothing more, nothing less.
this is insightful, and I needed this reminder - thank you!
Anonymous
03/13/2025 12:47
Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
This site had me very worried about my kid. But she was amazingly successful. She was accepted in all - including reaches. She had less than 6 APs, 1380 SAT and happy.
Anonymous
03/13/2025 12:45
Subject: What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
1. Where you go to grad/professional school is more important than where you go to college for career trajectory.
2. Mental health going into college is key for freshman year to go well. Do not go to college burned out or on fumes. Being emotionally stable and strong and going to a medium prestige school is better long-term than obsessively chasing high stats to chase a high prestige school.
3. We the parents are the clients, not the colleges. We don't need to say "how high?" when colleges say "jump". Put your kid and what they want ahead of the college you want for your own ego.
4. The goal is happiness, emotional stability and self-actualization for you kid. Nothing more, nothing less.
2. Mental health going into college is key for freshman year to go well. Do not go to college burned out or on fumes. Being emotionally stable and strong and going to a medium prestige school is better long-term than obsessively chasing high stats to chase a high prestige school.
3. We the parents are the clients, not the colleges. We don't need to say "how high?" when colleges say "jump". Put your kid and what they want ahead of the college you want for your own ego.
4. The goal is happiness, emotional stability and self-actualization for you kid. Nothing more, nothing less.
Anonymous
03/13/2025 12:45
Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:Learned that unless your kid is a recruited athlete, their playing varsity all throughout high school and being named as captain for multiple seasons is not going to make a difference in any way from any other EC.
You learned that from DCUM, it's the DCUM conventional wisdom, but you still don't know that for a fact from admissions. In fact you don't know whether any kind of EC made a difference. It's all speculation.
DS was not a recruited athlete but was varsity four years and team captain etc. and was accepted to a great school that rejected many of his classmates who were not varsity athletes, team captains etc. Was his varsity sport what made a difference? Maybe. Who knows. I can't say for sure that it didn't, despite the confidence of DCUM on this issue.
Anonymous
03/13/2025 12:43
Subject: Re:What has surprised you - as your kid comes to the end of this process
Anonymous wrote:Learned that unless your kid is a recruited athlete, their playing varsity all throughout high school and being named as captain for multiple seasons is not going to make a difference in any way from any other EC.
I luckily knew that when my firstborn was a sophomore. My kids chose to just do the sport in club since the HS program was so toxic - and less competitive but more time consuming. Did very very well at T10/20s.