Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Virginia seems almost medicated.

They don’t belong together at all.
She is passively controlling and he’s letting her, but it always seems like she is just quietly pushing him to agree with her.

How is she controlling? Because she wants a pre-nup?

I think she's going to say no.

I think the whole virtual signaling from Sara is absurd. Ben has queer friends (well, at least one). He has racially diverse friends. Just because he isn't shouting that from the rooftops doesn't mean he isn't living it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ben just seems SO stupid. Like he can barely understand what Sara is saying and sometimes he can't so just "me too's" her.

He comes off like a robot or Ken doll or something. He's determined to be flavorless and inoffensive. He pings a bit as gay and trying hard to be as plain vanilla as he can be. Like if he's extremely generic and boring, he can pass as a straight Evangelical. His mom and grandma were full.of prayer talk so I don't think he's had much freedom.

agree 100%

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ben saying he "doesn't remember" the interactions with the woman who posted about him on TickTock is a giant red flag.

Plus he keeps saying things like “it was such an insignificant thing” but her neglects to add or internalize “for ME” and that shows that he completely dismisses that it was obviously NOT insignificant to the girl.
A truly empathic person would be able to pivot from his own defensiveness and also read the room about what Sara needs to hear and he would be wise to say “I really regret that something I did or didn’t do truly negatively impact someone else that way, and I want to apologize to her and to you for that.”

I know it’s unrealistic but it’s probably what Sara needs.

Also Sara means well but she is unhealthily focused on virtue-signaling her goodness. And her purity testt rt for others will never hold up because people come complete with flaws that she didn’t allow them to have.
And man is her sister’s partner domineering with her opinions. I can see now where Sara feels empowered to quickly judge and condemn others for their thoughts or ways of expressing things—it’s clearly done to Sara by her sisters partner all the time.

Sara's virtue signaling is so beyond irritating. If I were Ben I would run for the hills on this factor alone. And I'm a person of color.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ben just seems SO stupid. Like he can barely understand what Sara is saying and sometimes he can't so just "me too's" her.

I am reading him differently.
I don’t think he’s dumb at all. I actually think he just really likes her and is t all that convicted about what he believes or thinks (mostly because he doesn’t have to be since he isn’t in a marginalized group and is sort of in this privileged position where he’s never had to consider how anyone is adversely impacted by anything— and he just wants to kum -bah-ya everything and everyone) and he is smart enough to know that articulating a different belief or saying anything that isn’t parroting where Sara stands on an issue is a deal breaker for her.
She’s hot and he’s just sort of average, and he’s willing to confirm to be whatever she needs in order to keep her.
And she really wants to believe that he will be the guy she needs him to be.

I can see this.

Anonymous wrote:Ben just seems SO stupid. Like he can barely understand what Sara is saying and sometimes he can't so just "me too's" her.

He comes off like a robot or Ken doll or something. He's determined to be flavorless and inoffensive. He pings a bit as gay and trying hard to be as plain vanilla as he can be. Like if he's extremely generic and boring, he can pass as a straight Evangelical. His mom and grandma were full.of prayer talk so I don't think he's had much freedom.

I think Sara wants to like Ben and Ben wants Sara to like him. But neither is paying close attention to the fact that they really do not align.
She is so dismissive of his faith and he is trying to make his faith not conflict with what she needs.
Her religion is individualism and affirmation of whatever makes you a “good person”—and to some extent this is consistent with Christ’s messaging on loving others.
But without faith in Christ, she is completely missing the important role that repentance plays in His message.
The Bible tells us that the world has a way of labeling what is evil good and what is good evil. And Ben is being careful to emphasize that he will show love to everyone regardless.
But she seems uncomfortable with that. Like she’s going to be unsatisfied until he agrees to
attend a church that affirms her beliefs rather than attends a church that seeks truth through scripture.
She has decided that her way of thinking is how she wants to do life and that’s fine for her because she doesn’t seem to subscribe to the idea of an after life at all.
But he is a Christian and recognizes that seeking a church that simply gives you the warm fuzzies without seeking truth and preaching repentance from sin (no matter how large or small the sin) and grace through faith is not going to work for Ben in the long run.

In my opinion they are just not a match.

Anonymous wrote:Ben just seems SO stupid. Like he can barely understand what Sara is saying and sometimes he can't so just "me too's" her.

I am reading him differently.
I don’t think he’s dumb at all. I actually think he just really likes her and is t all that convicted about what he believes or thinks (mostly because he doesn’t have to be since he isn’t in a marginalized group and is sort of in this privileged position where he’s never had to consider how anyone is adversely impacted by anything— and he just wants to kum -bah-ya everything and everyone) and he is smart enough to know that articulating a different belief or saying anything that isn’t parroting where Sara stands on an issue is a deal breaker for her.
She’s hot and he’s just sort of average, and he’s willing to confirm to be whatever she needs in order to keep her.
And she really wants to believe that he will be the guy she needs him to be.

Ben just seems SO stupid. Like he can barely understand what Sara is saying and sometimes he can't so just "me too's" her.

Anonymous wrote:I totally don't see the hate for Virginia or the way she speaks. She seems refreshingly normal to me. But maybe that's because most people on reality shows sound like they're hopped on adderall or coke.

I like her too. I think she can do a lot better than Devin. He's sweet but seems dim.

I totally don't see the hate for Virginia or the way she speaks. She seems refreshingly normal to me. But maybe that's because most people on reality shows sound like they're hopped on adderall or coke.

She also asks 100x "what else do i need to know"

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Virginia seems almost medicated.

They don’t belong together at all.
She is passively controlling and he’s letting her, but it always seems like she is just quietly pushing him to agree with her.

Both of them seem like they are half-asleep. She has such a weird tone when she speaks, yah like she is drugged

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Virginia seems almost medicated.

They don’t belong together at all.
She is passively controlling and he’s letting her, but it always seems like she is just quietly pushing him to agree with her.

+1
She is 100% planning to divorce. She’s so defensive about the stigma of divorce and how it shouldn’t be a big deal that THIs is the reason he should not marry her. Divorce is the escape hatch for her that she wants to lock down.