Anonymous wrote:I have a bright nephew who skipped a grade in elementary school and is now a 20-year-old senior at a top university. We spoke over the phone the other night and he confided in me that he’s been feeling very lonely these past few months, because all his friends are 21 and have going to bars without him every weekend.

I told him I was sorry to hear that, which I truly am, but I also feel I can relate. I was the only one of my friends from high school, as well as among my siblings, not to get accepted into an elite college. I can understand exactly the feelings of jealousy and loneliness my nephew is experiencing. When I pointed this out to him, he told me I can’t possibly know how he feels, and immediately hung up on me.

Why it's obvious: You responded as would a narcissist. Instead of addressing his concerns as he expressed him, you made the conversation all about yourself.

Typical woman, typical leftist, typical Progressive, typical DCUM poster.

Sometimes people just want someone to listen and not try to relate with their own stories. This seemed to be one of those times. The fact he hung up suggests you have a habit of doing this.

My mom is like this - it all comes back to her. She is trying to relate but in reality is not listening to me trying to seek solace or vent or whatever. The conversation always shifts to her issues and how hard it was for her. This is why I no longer tell my mom about things happening in my life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I hate when I am sharing something that bothers me and someone tries to relate with their own story. It dismisses my vulnerability.

Really? When I had a disease and told other people, and they told me they also have/had that disease, it made me feel less alone. It seems narcissistic to think your experience is so unique and special and everyone else should just shut up and listen to you.

The people who related to you probably had no more control than you did in terms of whether or not they got that disease. The OP, on the other hand, had control over how hard they worked in high school, while their nephew has no control over his age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get him a fake ID already.

Ha! This would have been my advice.

You people realize it’s impossible to get fake ids in this century, right? That advice would have been equally stupid and tone deaf. Talk about aging yourself by giving old-timely, stupid, and irrelevant advice.

Tell me you don’t have college kids without telling me….

For the same reason that someone who spent time in jail for a crime they were falsely accused of would be offended if someone who spent time in jail for actually committing that same crime tried to relate to them.

You were isolated because you didn't work hard enough to get into a good college. Your nephew, on the other hand, was isolated because he worked hard, first to skip a grade, then to get into a good college. I mean, if he went to a lackluster state college, he wouldn't feel so left out. Lower ranked colleges almost always accept AP credits and dual enrollment credits, so a lot of students enter with sophomore, and even junior, status, meaning that seniors under 21 are a lot more common there. So your nephew would be far from the only senior not allowed to go to bars had he slacked off in high school like you did and gone to a lesser college. But the combination of putting in the effort to skip a grade and going to an elite college has resulted in him being excluded. Naturally, he feels this is unfair.

In short, he got punished for working hard, while you got punished for being lazy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get him a fake ID already.

Ha! This would have been my advice.

You people realize it’s impossible to get fake ids in this century, right? That advice would have been equally stupid and tone deaf. Talk about aging yourself by giving old-timely, stupid, and irrelevant advice.

No, it’s not. They buy them off the TikTok shop. They arrive in a box looking like shoes so their parents have no idea.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s on the spectrum right?

What makes you say that?

DP, but kids on the spectrum tend to be academically gifted.

OP - I have a DS18 and frankly, there are so many wrong things to say, that it's hard to find the right thing.

I think you were trying to "relate." Whether your situation is relatable or not, I have found with my DS that he feels like the first person to have ever experienced hardship or stress or disappointment. There's no relating, and no fixing, just listening and sympathizing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a bright nephew who skipped a grade in elementary school and is now a 20-year-old senior at a top university. We spoke over the phone the other night and he confided in me that he’s been feeling very lonely these past few months, because all his friends are 21 and have going to bars without him every weekend.

I told him I was sorry to hear that, which I truly am, but I also feel I can relate. I was the only one of my friends from high school, as well as among my siblings, not to get accepted into an elite college. I can understand exactly the feelings of jealousy and loneliness my nephew is experiencing. When I pointed this out to him, he told me I can’t possibly know how he feels, and immediately hung up on me.

What’s your definition of an elite college? My son didn’t go to an elite college but he’s 31 yo and already worth tens of millions as an entrepreneur and most likely makes more than most graduates of elite colleges. No one cares where you go to school.

Lots of people care where you went to college. Stop being obtuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get him a fake ID already.

Ha! This would have been my advice.

You people realize it’s impossible to get fake ids in this century, right? That advice would have been equally stupid and tone deaf. Talk about aging yourself by giving old-timely, stupid, and irrelevant advice.

Why doesn’t he just do what normal 20 year-old do and get a fake ID?

Anonymous wrote:I hate when I am sharing something that bothers me and someone tries to relate with their own story. It dismisses my vulnerability.

Really? When I had a disease and told other people, and they told me they also have/had that disease, it made me feel less alone. It seems narcissistic to think your experience is so unique and special and everyone else should just shut up and listen to you.

Wait. You were having a telephone conversation with a college kid? And he was confusing emotional things with someone who typically responds to things with, “I know exactly how you feel.” This sounds suss.