Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 08:34     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:A few days after I turned 18 when I was a freshman in college, I met a 22 year old junior (he had taken a gap year) who I ended up dating for 2 years in college. The age gap didn’t feel so big, but there was definitely some pressure sexually (I was a virgin when we met). Now looking back, I wish I had spent more time making friends instead of hanging out with him. But learned a lot of lessons through that relationship and grew up a lot.

I don’t think my mom intervening would’ve made me do anything different though, so I would just be there to support her and have those conversations about birth control and making sure she still takes the time to meet people at college.



Do youthink it would have been different if you dated another 18 year old who may have also been sexually experienced?
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 08:04     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
A few days after I turned 18 when I was a freshman in college, I met a 22 year old junior (he had taken a gap year) who I ended up dating for 2 years in college. The age gap didn’t feel so big, but there was definitely some pressure sexually (I was a virgin when we met). Now looking back, I wish I had spent more time making friends instead of hanging out with him. But learned a lot of lessons through that relationship and grew up a lot.

I don’t think my mom intervening would’ve made me do anything different though, so I would just be there to support her and have those conversations about birth control and making sure she still takes the time to meet people at college.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 07:44     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:Girls also used to get married off at 13, just because we “used to” do things doesn’t mean they are acceptable.


They still do in most states. MAGA Republicans have gone to the mat to preserve that.

https://19thnews.org/2023/07/explaining-child-marriage-laws-united-states/
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 07:36     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:He sounds like a loser


Creeper
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 07:34     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
He sounds like a loser
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 06:41     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
Down the road, a three year age difference is nothing but now, while your DD is in high school - well, as PP said, I totally get her interest in him but I don’t quite understand why he would be interested in someone in HS, when he’s moved beyond it. Then again, I haven’t met your DD and I imagine she is mature and you described the similar music interest…

I would definitely ask that they stay “just friends” until she turns 18 - so this summer, all bets are off but while your DD is finishing her junior year…no dating yet.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 06:28     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
A 21 year old working at a summer camp is kind of weird. Most 21 year old in college are gunning for an internship. I understand her interest in him, but his interest in her seems off. As others have said, their age difference (at this point in their life) s big. Will they both be going back to the same camp this summer?
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 00:35     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
They are probably a great match. These things sort themselves out naturally. She found him organically on the job. Let them be.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 00:33     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not very concerned. I met my husband at 19 and he was more than 10 years older than me. Definitely give a refresher on birth control, consent, etc. Look up your state's laws on statutory rape. She could get him into trouble.


Yep, definitely blame the child victim.


She's neither a victim nor a child shortly. As a parent of kids this age you need to learn to think in the grey with some of this. You sound like you have 5 year olds. We are talking about a 3 year gap here which is about average for marriages in the US. Acting like he's a pedophile and she's a victim is not helpful or (as described) accurate.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 00:12     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
I wouldn't be concerned at all. Sounds perfectly normal and acceptable to me. When I was 17, I dated a 23-year-old guy. Most of my friends dated older guys as well. I met my husband when I was 19 (40 years ago now) and he's 6 years older than I am. Your daughter is nearly 18. Let her live her life.
Anonymous
Post 01/26/2025 00:06     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:I would not let her be alone with him until she’s 18. After that there’s nothing you can do except buy a crib and get ready to raise the baby.


How f’ing dramatic.

Newsflash - 18yr olds have A LOT of sex and most don’t get pregnant. There are these things called condoms, birth control pills, IUD’s, plan B, etc…

Anonymous
Post 01/25/2025 23:32     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
They have a lot in common. It’s fine.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2025 23:25     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
I think some people are blowing this out of proportion. A jr/sr dating a college student happens all the time. They are peers, they have shared interests, jobs, school, etc.

If he were graduated/didn’t go to college, I would be more worried that he might try to encourage her to join him in the “real” world. But both in school? I would not be as worried & treat it as if she were dating a classmate (so I’m not approving weekends staying over at his school, but they can date under the regular house rules).
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2025 23:14     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
Anonymous wrote:Not very concerned. I met my husband at 19 and he was more than 10 years older than me. Definitely give a refresher on birth control, consent, etc. Look up your state's laws on statutory rape. She could get him into trouble.


Yep, definitely blame the child victim.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2025 21:35     Subject: How concerned would you be if your 17 yo DD was talking to a 21 year old guy
Not very concerned. I met my husband at 19 and he was more than 10 years older than me. Definitely give a refresher on birth control, consent, etc. Look up your state's laws on statutory rape. She could get him into trouble.