Anonymous
01/13/2025 21:11
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Someone told me when you give birth don't put dad on the birth certificate so you retain more rights.
Only until he requests a paternity test and establishes that he is the father. It's not a long-term solution.
NP. That would take time to process though.
What would you possibly achieve with this couple of moth at best delay?
Could be months or years delay. And in the beginning of a child's life, every single month is critical.
This could be a negative for the mom in family court. People have lost custody for trying to cut the father out, even breastfeeding moms. If he knows about the pregnancy, do not follow this advice without consulting at least 2 lawyers.
Anonymous
01/13/2025 21:09
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
Anonymous wrote:Never married single mom. Co parenting can be hell and if you're a single mom you have 100% custody
This is not true. Plenty of never married fathers assert custody rights, esp abusers. Some even demand child support from the mom. Marriage not required.
Anonymous
01/13/2025 17:00
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Someone told me when you give birth don't put dad on the birth certificate so you retain more rights.
Only until he requests a paternity test and establishes that he is the father. It's not a long-term solution.
NP. That would take time to process though.
What would you possibly achieve with this couple of moth at best delay?
Could be months or years delay. And in the beginning of a child's life, every single month is critical.
Anonymous
01/13/2025 16:03
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
I pass no judgement on whether single moms are unmarried, separated, divorced, widowed, or SMBC. Whether or not there is a dad currently in the picture may come up in conversation but not the whole backstory and I'm not going to pry. Do what's best for you and your baby.
Anonymous
01/13/2025 15:36
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
Anonymous wrote:I’m a single mom and have not faced any stigma, nor has my children. Buy we live in a major city rather than some small town or in the Deep South. I’ve never felt any shame.
I think your race and income also matters here. I'm a single mom by choice (as in, I had the baby by myself using a sperm donor) and I feel proud of that choice, but I'm white and UMC. If I got pregnant with a boyfriend, were Black, and we broke up before the baby was born, I think I'd have different factors to think through. It's not fair at all, but that's the landscape. I don't know what OP's situation is.
Anonymous
01/13/2025 15:32
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
Anonymous wrote:An unmarried single mom shows a past of bad decisions. That’s a non-starter for me so no way.
A divorced one is bad usually. Women rarely take accountability for the failed marriage so it never changes afterwards in her post-divorce relationships.
If you’re a a male in your late 20s or early 30s there’s no reason or benefit to dating a finagle mother. As the saying goes I don’t want to pick up some other guys saved game.
Something tells me you're single and will continue to be single. Yeah, you might have short-term flings but no one that thinks like you can last long term. So why should anyone listen to you?
Anonymous
01/13/2025 15:30
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Someone told me when you give birth don't put dad on the birth certificate so you retain more rights.
Only until he requests a paternity test and establishes that he is the father. It's not a long-term solution.
NP. That would take time to process though.
What would you possibly achieve with this couple of moth at best delay?
Anonymous
01/13/2025 15:25
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
Anonymous wrote:Someone told me when you give birth don't put dad on the birth certificate so you retain more rights.
This is not true.
Lawyer
Anonymous
01/13/2025 14:56
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
Anonymous wrote:An unmarried single mom shows a past of bad decisions. That’s a non-starter for me so no way.
A divorced one is bad usually. Women rarely take accountability for the failed marriage so it never changes afterwards in her post-divorce relationships.
If you’re a a male in your late 20s or early 30s there’s no reason or benefit to dating a finagle mother. As the saying goes I don’t want to pick up some other guys saved game.
Who asked you whether you'd date OP, lol? I doubt she wants your interest anyway.
Anonymous
01/13/2025 14:18
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
An unmarried single mom shows a past of bad decisions. That’s a non-starter for me so no way.
A divorced one is bad usually. Women rarely take accountability for the failed marriage so it never changes afterwards in her post-divorce relationships.
If you’re a a male in your late 20s or early 30s there’s no reason or benefit to dating a finagle mother. As the saying goes I don’t want to pick up some other guys saved game.
A divorced one is bad usually. Women rarely take accountability for the failed marriage so it never changes afterwards in her post-divorce relationships.
If you’re a a male in your late 20s or early 30s there’s no reason or benefit to dating a finagle mother. As the saying goes I don’t want to pick up some other guys saved game.
Anonymous
01/13/2025 14:06
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Someone told me when you give birth don't put dad on the birth certificate so you retain more rights.
Only until he requests a paternity test and establishes that he is the father. It's not a long-term solution.
NP. That would take time to process though.
Anonymous
01/13/2025 13:21
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
Anonymous wrote:Never married single mom. Co parenting can be hell and if you're a single mom you have 100% custody
Not all single moms. What are you talking about?
Anonymous
01/13/2025 13:15
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
Never married single mom. Co parenting can be hell and if you're a single mom you have 100% custody
Anonymous
01/13/2025 13:13
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Never married mom has a home field advantage if you want to be the default parent.
Only advantage to divorce was dealing with judgmental busy bodies.
Not true, he can get 50/50 from birth if he asserts paternity. Many do as a way to hurt the mom, or even to go after her for child support.
How far along is OP? Does the father know yet? Maybe she can move while pregnant and get as much distance from him as possible. Post-separation abuse is real, and it's some of the worst forms of abuse imaginable - it's one thing when it's targeted at you but another when your child becomes a proxy to continue the abuse. Best case he moves on and forgets about her.
Anonymous
01/13/2025 13:08
Subject: Better to be a never-married single mom or divorced single mom?
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Someone told me when you give birth don't put dad on the birth certificate so you retain more rights.
Only until he requests a paternity test and establishes that he is the father. It's not a long-term solution.
This. Some will walk away but the abusive ones often do not.