Anonymous
01/01/2025 18:47
Subject: "They bought those presents with the child support I pay, so . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:really they're from me."
How do you respond to this?
You don't because no response will shut it down.
I'm not asking how to respond to the parent. I'm asking how to respond to a kid who thinks I didn't get them any Christmas present.
You didn’t get your kids Christmas presents. Just own it.
The parent with child support chose to spend money on the child. What a shock. Other parent sending child support is free to do the same. money is fungible.
OP here,
I am curious how people who talk about "what their child support pays for" figure out what that is. Do I say, well I pay for the most important things first, so I'll use these funds for a portion of the mortgage, or for food, or whatever is most important. Or do I say, well I'll pay for what we need with my own money, and then use this money for things I wouldn't otherwise be able to afford, like sports fees, or Christmas presents? In reality, I have multiple sources of income that hit my account each month, and then I spend and save from that amount of money without thinking of which is which.
I should add that I don't know all the details of child support in this case. This was a conversation between my kid and a friend, and the other kid was clearly hurt and confused and was checking in with my kid to get their thoughts. I didn't address it with the other kid, but my own kid and I talked about it at length, because our situations are pretty similar where one parent has full custody, and the other parent pays child support even though their income is similar or lower.
You should not be using child support to fund your lifestyle. A little bit for the child’s room, ok but they are not your roommate and you need housing. You need to tell your child dad contributes to all expenses in your home.
Anonymous
01/01/2025 18:44
Subject: Re:"They bought those presents with the child support I pay, so . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Child support is for the essential needs of the child (food, shelter, clothing, health insurance coverage, work-related childcare if applicable, some educational fees, etc - it's all noted on the damn child support calculator form) and does NOT include things like Christmas presents, full stop. Your ex is an absolute jacka$$.
Child support includes everything including presents. It is his portion of the expenses I. Your home. Stop pretending Itis your income when it’s not.
Lawyer-wrong
Child support covers all needs from the paying parent. Both parents need to contribute.
Only if the paying parent has 0 overnights. Otherwise child support covers a portion.
But Christmas gifts aren’t needs, and both parents should purchase what they feel comfortable with the child getting from them, not claim that the gifts the other parent bought are somehow from them.
In this case though the custodial parent had the higher income, so child support is not the primary source of income for the household.
Custody does not matter. Child support covers everything in that home. Dad still has his own expenses. It’s from both parents.
Anonymous
12/30/2024 13:57
Subject: Re:"They bought those presents with the child support I pay, so . . .
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Child support is for the essential needs of the child (food, shelter, clothing, health insurance coverage, work-related childcare if applicable, some educational fees, etc - it's all noted on the damn child support calculator form) and does NOT include things like Christmas presents, full stop. Your ex is an absolute jacka$$.
Child support includes everything including presents. It is his portion of the expenses I. Your home. Stop pretending Itis your income when it’s not.
Lawyer-wrong
Child support covers all needs from the paying parent. Both parents need to contribute.
Only if the paying parent has 0 overnights. Otherwise child support covers a portion.
But Christmas gifts aren’t needs, and both parents should purchase what they feel comfortable with the child getting from them, not claim that the gifts the other parent bought are somehow from them.
In this case though the custodial parent had the higher income, so child support is not the primary source of income for the household.