Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

How did your kid respond to the swat? Has he continued to misbehave?

Troll.

Evidence shows corporal punishment increases children’s behavioural problems over time and has no positive outcomes.

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/corporal-punishment-and-health

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

I would never be able to feel the same about my spouse ever again. I don’t understand why you didn’t leave with your child when your spouse threatened them? I would have been livid hearing my spouse threaten to hit my kids. If other discipline options were not working it was probably time to leave anyway.

Courts DGAF especially in VA. Abusive fathers get joint and sole custody all the time.

OP, get into therapy with your husband. He needs to learn about child development and understand what’s happening in your child’s brain. Corporal punishment is terrible. Tell husband you want to work together. You have to play the long game here.

I read "leave" as leave the grandparents house. If things have disintegrated to the point that threats are being made, it's probably time to get the kid out of there. Go home, if that's an option. Take a long walk, sit in the car, or go into a bedroom and enforce some quiet time if it isn't.

Divorcing someone you don't trust with your child is really complicated. There is a high likelihood that he will get custody or unsupervised overnight visitation, and he's shown that he's not well equipped for that. I would think about something like PCIT that teaches the adult and kid structured ways to set limits.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid sounds like a complete nightmare, why on earth would you travel with a child who has no self control? Go home.

+1. He knows mommy won’t do anything for his bad behavior. Finally the kid got a well deserved spanking. His behavior is atrocious. Hitting a dog at 4? Sounds like a psycho in the making.

Troll.
No one in 2024 thinks spanking is well deserved

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So this is how your DH was raised?

Must be since he seems to know that you can use a belt to discipline a child. I would only think of it as something to hold my pants up.

You guys need to talk about this and how to handle DS when he messes up as he will

Because your DH has some ghosts in the nursery and his instincts are bad.

More kids need a spanking these days. People wonder why these kids today are so damn soft, entitled, and spoiled. You all raised these monsters or are them. Kids and young adults lack any respect or accountability. Maybe a whooping or two would have served them better.

You sound like a peach with your multiple posts about how hitting a kid will teach them respect.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your kid sounds like a complete nightmare, why on earth would you travel with a child who has no self control? Go home.

+1. He knows mommy won’t do anything for his bad behavior. Finally the kid got a well deserved spanking. His behavior is atrocious. Hitting a dog at 4? Sounds like a psycho in the making.

+100. Someone has to fix this behavior before early and mom is obviously not capable.

Anonymous wrote:As a grandmother, it would kill me to be subjected to hearing my grandchild beat with a belt. I would ask them to leave.

So dramatic. The child wasn’t beat with a belt. He got one swat on the butt. Not abuse.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A swat with a belt hard enough to leave a mark. Kid was acting out all day, hitting grandparents’ dog, pushing people, not listening, whining and spouse gave a warning that the next time he would be spanked with a belt. And of course the kid misbehaved again. I don’t believe in physical punishment but spouse felt time outs and taking toys away weren’t working.

I would never be able to feel the same about my spouse ever again. I don’t understand why you didn’t leave with your child when your spouse threatened them? I would have been livid hearing my spouse threaten to hit my kids. If other discipline options were not working it was probably time to leave anyway.

Courts DGAF especially in VA. Abusive fathers get joint and sole custody all the time.

OP, get into therapy with your husband. He needs to learn about child development and understand what’s happening in your child’s brain. Corporal punishment is terrible. Tell husband you want to work together. You have to play the long game here.

One swat on the butt with a belt is not abuse. So dramatic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would bring up divorce. No one is allowed to hit my kid with a belt.

Ex DH will then have kid alone 50% time.

Not when you cite the fact that he’s hit your kid.

It’s not just her kid. It’s their kid. Why do women think they somehow have more parental control over a child they made with someone else? It’s their kid and both parents have the right to discipline their child.

Anonymous wrote:It’s not ok. But you are complicit. You should have removed Your child before it escalated. And after the threat, you really blew it. You admitted you expected further misbehavior yet you allowed the further misbehavior to happen despite the threat. While you didn’t actually hit your child you set your child up to be hit.

You have no business acting like you played no part in this.

+1. OP is the reason her kid acts like that. He’s a brat and it’s clear he runs the show.

Anonymous wrote:I would bring up divorce. No one is allowed to hit my kid with a belt.

It’s his kid too.

Anonymous wrote:So this is how your DH was raised?

Must be since he seems to know that you can use a belt to discipline a child. I would only think of it as something to hold my pants up.

You guys need to talk about this and how to handle DS when he messes up as he will

Because your DH has some ghosts in the nursery and his instincts are bad.

More kids need a spanking these days. People wonder why these kids today are so damn soft, entitled, and spoiled. You all raised these monsters or are them. Kids and young adults lack any respect or accountability. Maybe a whooping or two would have served them better.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s clear your DC was overwhelmed and acting out. Why didn’t you or DH remove him from the situation (grandparents house) before it got to that point? The kid is 4, and both you and DH seem to be clueless parents and failed your child.

+1. Kid is cranky for some reason (new environment, hunger, lack of sleep, whatever). Fix the underlying issue instead of punishing the behavior.

Or he’s just a spoiled little brat. Most kids don’t hit pets because they are cranky.

Anonymous wrote:Your kid sounds like a complete nightmare, why on earth would you travel with a child who has no self control? Go home.

+1. He knows mommy won’t do anything for his bad behavior. Finally the kid got a well deserved spanking. His behavior is atrocious. Hitting a dog at 4? Sounds like a psycho in the making.