just say no, OP. Why is that so difficult? I did and the calls stopped. You are in control

I saw this video a few years ago and it always stayed with me.

https://www.tiktok.com/@maybashleymarie/video/7308954735841643819

A woman recalls living in a shelter with her parents at age 16 and thinking very hard about her angel tree wish list. She said she pretty much had only the clothes on her back.

She asked for hoop earrings, black Converse shoes (she said she would have been fine with generic shoes), skinny jeans size 13, black eyeliner and a playboy bunny blanket.

She said she remembers opening up her gifts. "This lady went above and beyond for me," she says. Her first gift was a 24-pack of hoop earrings from Claire's - "so beautiful!" she says. Several years worth of eyeliner. Skinny jeans with the tag attached so she could exchange if they didn't fit (which she did need to do). REAL Converse shoes - "I *loved* those things!". And the most beautiful, soft light pink playboy blanket. She still has the blanket.

She said you have no idea the difference that getting great angel tree gifts can make in a kid's life, in their spirit. I dunno, this really struck me. Probably cost the giver several hundred dollars even back then. And sounds like the kind of haul that a well-off parent would give their kid.

So why shouldn't an angel tree kid get a good haul? I dunno...my feeling is, if you don't like kids asking for expensive items, then don't buy them. But don't trash the kid for asking. As a PP said, maybe they want to be like their richer friends who are all getting that kind of thing.

Watch that video, it will make your heart swell.

Anonymous wrote:The angel tree I picked up had "Wegmans gift cards" on it. Not Safeway. Not Giant. Wegmans. I was annoyed.

Smart people. Safeway and Giant suck.

There are people who make a whole job out of abusing the system. They sign up for 10 agencies and then resell the better stuff they get for cash. They Use their WIC benefits to buy formula and diapers and then return them without a receipt for store credit. I worked in a grocery store in HS. This happened literally every single day.

The sad truth is typically the people who really need the help the most don’t even know where to start. They don’t know the resources that exist.

Anonymous wrote:So on the one hand, it could be that all the cheap/easy ones were already taken, like the ones asking for baby toys and little kids clothes and all that was left was the $$$ stuff for tweens and up. OTOH I’m always skeptical that it’s adults asking for $$$ stuff and then planning to re-sell it for cash later.

That's why I stopped doing the adopt-a-family.

Anonymous wrote:Go to a mall and look for an Angel Tree.

My family used to do this until about 15-20 years ago all the kids were asking for nicer things than we had. I couldn’t shake the gross feeling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The angel tree I picked up had "Wegmans gift cards" on it. Not Safeway. Not Giant. Wegmans. I was annoyed.

Wow how dare they asked for a grocery gift card from a specific store! They should just be poor and happy and grateful to get whatever you choose for them!

Umm... yes, this would be nice. Gratitude for benefitting from the labor of strangers.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to do a tree from a reputable charity. Ours was legos, hats/gloves, science kits and dinosaur stuff. Reputable charities will review requests and specifically state how much you should spend on a child. Ours was $75-100

$75-100 that a lot and you know they're signed up through multiple agencies.

I truly don't care. My intentions were right. Their intentions are between them and their god.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very Entitled.

It's likely that everything is given to them from local and govt. services and they expect the same from you. We stopped doing those all together as a result of expectations.

This. They expect things handed to them. Why bother to buy it when some charity gives it for free.

No pride. It's a shame.

+100 lining up for free toys with no real vetting.

Anonymous wrote:Who cares if they resell something? They own it, right? Anyone who needs money that badly is desperate. Why not help them? Who are you to judge?

You are assuming they actually need the money. Many don't buy are happy to take a handout.

Anonymous wrote:Very Entitled.

It's likely that everything is given to them from local and govt. services and they expect the same from you. We stopped doing those all together as a result of expectations.

This. They expect things handed to them. Why bother to buy it when some charity gives it for free.

No pride. It's a shame.

Here is a toys for tots update with pictures showing people receiving the gift. I always s thought you bought for a specific person i guess not.

https://wtop.com/prince-georges-county/2024/12/thousands-line-up-at-toys-for-tots-giveaway-in-prince-georges-co/

Anonymous wrote:The angel tree I picked up had "Wegmans gift cards" on it. Not Safeway. Not Giant. Wegmans. I was annoyed.

Wow how dare they asked for a grocery gift card from a specific store! They should just be poor and happy and grateful to get whatever you choose for them!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I live in NYC and looked into an organization that administers these requests this year. The requests were literally all for gift cards “so that XYZ can pick out something for themselves.” I totally understand the sentiment, especially for older kids, but I wanted to actually buy gifts. I did Toys for Tots instead.

So it was more important to you that you got to do what you wanted than that the child got something they would enjoy?

DP. If pp is participating in a charitable activity, they have a right to choose which one. And there's nothing wrong with admitting buying a specific item brings more joy for the buyer than handing over a gift card.

All teens want expensive stuff. Poor kids are no different.