Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We/I talked to ds at about 14 about consent and using protection every single time. It was more of a refresher talk because he had started dating. We were on a road trip, so a good time to chat. I told him that if she tenses up, hesitates, or pushes him away at ALL, it was time to stop. I also told him that it was just as ok for him to stop, and she needed to respect that.

We also talked about never trusting the pill (I was on birth control both times I got pregnant, and reacting to pregnancy. I also brought up not staying in a bad relationship because he liked the sex.

Yikes. Your 14 yo is having sex?

That was 9 years ago. He wasn't having sex yet but he was dating. 14/15 is pretty common for first experiences. My husband teaches 9th grade... our heads were not buried in the sand.

Fast forward to today. At 23 1/2 ds has had the same GF for 7 years. They are talking about marriage, buying a house etc.

Dating for 7 years? So, failure to launch. Sounds like you weren't as successful as this as you thought.

What are you talking about? They are 23 and 24. He graduated from college in June, she still has two more years because she's paying her own way. He is working in his chosen field, and saving for a ring and a down-payment on a house.

Failure to lauch? Hardly.

Dating for 7 years mean someone's not committed. Cool for teenagers, not cool for adults.

STFU already. They are barely not kids anymore. No one should be getting married until they finish college.

Yeah, well, they should be finished with college at that age, too. But whatever. Thankfully not my problem!

So shut up about it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We/I talked to ds at about 14 about consent and using protection every single time. It was more of a refresher talk because he had started dating. We were on a road trip, so a good time to chat. I told him that if she tenses up, hesitates, or pushes him away at ALL, it was time to stop. I also told him that it was just as ok for him to stop, and she needed to respect that.

We also talked about never trusting the pill (I was on birth control both times I got pregnant, and reacting to pregnancy. I also brought up not staying in a bad relationship because he liked the sex.

Yikes. Your 14 yo is having sex?

That was 9 years ago. He wasn't having sex yet but he was dating. 14/15 is pretty common for first experiences. My husband teaches 9th grade... our heads were not buried in the sand.

Fast forward to today. At 23 1/2 ds has had the same GF for 7 years. They are talking about marriage, buying a house etc.

Dating for 7 years? So, failure to launch. Sounds like you weren't as successful as this as you thought.

What are you talking about? They are 23 and 24. He graduated from college in June, she still has two more years because she's paying her own way. He is working in his chosen field, and saving for a ring and a down-payment on a house.

Failure to lauch? Hardly.

Dating for 7 years mean someone's not committed. Cool for teenagers, not cool for adults.

Even conservative loon “Dr.” Laura says people should not get married until the age of 25. That’s how crazy you are—even Dr. Laura thinks that’s too young for marriage.

What's going to change in two years? If they're not committed, they should have been exploring options.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We/I talked to ds at about 14 about consent and using protection every single time. It was more of a refresher talk because he had started dating. We were on a road trip, so a good time to chat. I told him that if she tenses up, hesitates, or pushes him away at ALL, it was time to stop. I also told him that it was just as ok for him to stop, and she needed to respect that.

We also talked about never trusting the pill (I was on birth control both times I got pregnant, and reacting to pregnancy. I also brought up not staying in a bad relationship because he liked the sex.

Yikes. Your 14 yo is having sex?

That was 9 years ago. He wasn't having sex yet but he was dating. 14/15 is pretty common for first experiences. My husband teaches 9th grade... our heads were not buried in the sand.

Fast forward to today. At 23 1/2 ds has had the same GF for 7 years. They are talking about marriage, buying a house etc.

Dating for 7 years? So, failure to launch. Sounds like you weren't as successful as this as you thought.

What are you talking about? They are 23 and 24. He graduated from college in June, she still has two more years because she's paying her own way. He is working in his chosen field, and saving for a ring and a down-payment on a house.

Failure to lauch? Hardly.

Dating for 7 years mean someone's not committed. Cool for teenagers, not cool for adults.

Even conservative loon “Dr.” Laura says people should not get married until the age of 25. That’s how crazy you are—even Dr. Laura thinks that’s too young for marriage.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I teach my sons to run far far away from promiscuous girls. I show them all the examples around us wherever I can of men’s lives who were ruined by the choice the engage in one night stands, “friends with benefits”, and any other cheap premarital sex. Those men often end up with battling assault allegations, child support payments, STDs, heart hardening heartbreak, violent ex-lovers, etc. This is a major way that they can protect themselves. We teach and emphasize marriage instead and the success stories of those that choose reverent, conservative, and modest spouses. We also teach them to be reverent, conservative, and modest so as to attract the same energy.

As far as protecting others, well I don’t really think that is their job. Parents need to be teaching girls how to respect and protect themselves. Hence the reason for the other thread.

What monsters you are raising, just like Mommy Dearest. Yikes.

I guess I don't understand this comment. Why is this a bad thing what this person is teaching? Seems pretty sound advice.

Anonymous wrote: The lesson isn't "watch out for bad girls," it's don't be a bad guy.

It's both.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We/I talked to ds at about 14 about consent and using protection every single time. It was more of a refresher talk because he had started dating. We were on a road trip, so a good time to chat. I told him that if she tenses up, hesitates, or pushes him away at ALL, it was time to stop. I also told him that it was just as ok for him to stop, and she needed to respect that.

We also talked about never trusting the pill (I was on birth control both times I got pregnant, and reacting to pregnancy. I also brought up not staying in a bad relationship because he liked the sex.

Yikes. Your 14 yo is having sex?

That was 9 years ago. He wasn't having sex yet but he was dating. 14/15 is pretty common for first experiences. My husband teaches 9th grade... our heads were not buried in the sand.

Fast forward to today. At 23 1/2 ds has had the same GF for 7 years. They are talking about marriage, buying a house etc.

Dating for 7 years? So, failure to launch. Sounds like you weren't as successful as this as you thought.

What are you talking about? They are 23 and 24. He graduated from college in June, she still has two more years because she's paying her own way. He is working in his chosen field, and saving for a ring and a down-payment on a house.

Failure to lauch? Hardly.

Dating for 7 years mean someone's not committed. Cool for teenagers, not cool for adults.

STFU already. They are barely not kids anymore. No one should be getting married until they finish college.

Yeah, well, they should be finished with college at that age, too. But whatever. Thankfully not my problem!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These boy-moms need to lead by eliminating any hint of toxic masculinity developing in their sons.

I actually encourage what you might call "toxic masculinity." Not trying to raise any soy boys around here.

Same here. Also, teaching them to dump any women who use phrases like "toxic masculinity". No need for them to sign up for a lifetime of misery.

Anonymous wrote:From a young age, I taught my son that enthusiastic consent is the bar.

This is the right answer. We've also been teaching our kids that if it's not a hell yes! from everyone involved, than it's a no. When they were little, it clearly wasn't about sex, but now that they are older, this is a big part of the sex talk and my son and daughter are on board.

I really do think that asking how boys can be respectful is also the right question. Since I have a boy and a girl, of course I want them both to be responsible, respectful, etc. But I cannot spend all of my time teaching my daughter to "don't go out at night, carry keys in your hand, send a location to me or to your friends on dates, etc." and not teach my son to notice when women walk across the street when they see him, to make sure that he calls out his male friends if they are being gross, to not perpetuate any type of gossip about girls and their behaviors, etc. The lesson isn't "watch out for bad girls," it's don't be a bad guy.

Consent and respect has always been the center of our discussions and that started at a young age in appropriate ways.

Not only for anyone else but for himself. I wanted my DS to be brought up to understand if something was being done to him by someone else that he didn't like or felt was wrong (another child, an adult) that he can protect himself and his body and that I would also respect his boundaries. Not making him walk into a room full of adults and make him go around the welcome line to embrace or kiss people like so many parents do.

Now that he's a teen, I also talk to him about consent and respect more freely/straightforward as well as talk about how crazy boys AND girls can be. As a former teenage girl who has a very clear memory of myself and my friends and the type of dumb decisions teens make.

It's important to not make our sons feel like they are guilty of all wrong doing in relationships. Plenty of nutty teen girls grow up to be nutty women and I don't want him to be stuck with one later in life.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We/I talked to ds at about 14 about consent and using protection every single time. It was more of a refresher talk because he had started dating. We were on a road trip, so a good time to chat. I told him that if she tenses up, hesitates, or pushes him away at ALL, it was time to stop. I also told him that it was just as ok for him to stop, and she needed to respect that.

We also talked about never trusting the pill (I was on birth control both times I got pregnant, and reacting to pregnancy. I also brought up not staying in a bad relationship because he liked the sex.

Yikes. Your 14 yo is having sex?

That was 9 years ago. He wasn't having sex yet but he was dating. 14/15 is pretty common for first experiences. My husband teaches 9th grade... our heads were not buried in the sand.

Fast forward to today. At 23 1/2 ds has had the same GF for 7 years. They are talking about marriage, buying a house etc.

Dating for 7 years? So, failure to launch. Sounds like you weren't as successful as this as you thought.

What are you talking about? They are 23 and 24. He graduated from college in June, she still has two more years because she's paying her own way. He is working in his chosen field, and saving for a ring and a down-payment on a house.

Failure to lauch? Hardly.

Dating for 7 years mean someone's not committed. Cool for teenagers, not cool for adults.

Okaaay..... someone's into the sauce a little early today.

From a young age, I taught my son that enthusiastic consent is the bar.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We/I talked to ds at about 14 about consent and using protection every single time. It was more of a refresher talk because he had started dating. We were on a road trip, so a good time to chat. I told him that if she tenses up, hesitates, or pushes him away at ALL, it was time to stop. I also told him that it was just as ok for him to stop, and she needed to respect that.

We also talked about never trusting the pill (I was on birth control both times I got pregnant, and reacting to pregnancy. I also brought up not staying in a bad relationship because he liked the sex.

Yikes. Your 14 yo is having sex?

That was 9 years ago. He wasn't having sex yet but he was dating. 14/15 is pretty common for first experiences. My husband teaches 9th grade... our heads were not buried in the sand.

Fast forward to today. At 23 1/2 ds has had the same GF for 7 years. They are talking about marriage, buying a house etc.

Dating for 7 years? So, failure to launch. Sounds like you weren't as successful as this as you thought.

What are you talking about? They are 23 and 24. He graduated from college in June, she still has two more years because she's paying her own way. He is working in his chosen field, and saving for a ring and a down-payment on a house.

Failure to lauch? Hardly.

Dating for 7 years mean someone's not committed. Cool for teenagers, not cool for adults.

STFU already. They are barely not kids anymore. No one should be getting married until they finish college.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We/I talked to ds at about 14 about consent and using protection every single time. It was more of a refresher talk because he had started dating. We were on a road trip, so a good time to chat. I told him that if she tenses up, hesitates, or pushes him away at ALL, it was time to stop. I also told him that it was just as ok for him to stop, and she needed to respect that.

We also talked about never trusting the pill (I was on birth control both times I got pregnant, and reacting to pregnancy. I also brought up not staying in a bad relationship because he liked the sex.

Yikes. Your 14 yo is having sex?

That was 9 years ago. He wasn't having sex yet but he was dating. 14/15 is pretty common for first experiences. My husband teaches 9th grade... our heads were not buried in the sand.

Fast forward to today. At 23 1/2 ds has had the same GF for 7 years. They are talking about marriage, buying a house etc.

Dating for 7 years? So, failure to launch. Sounds like you weren't as successful as this as you thought.

What are you talking about? They are 23 and 24. He graduated from college in June, she still has two more years because she's paying her own way. He is working in his chosen field, and saving for a ring and a down-payment on a house.

Failure to lauch? Hardly.

Dating for 7 years mean someone's not committed. Cool for teenagers, not cool for adults.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We/I talked to ds at about 14 about consent and using protection every single time. It was more of a refresher talk because he had started dating. We were on a road trip, so a good time to chat. I told him that if she tenses up, hesitates, or pushes him away at ALL, it was time to stop. I also told him that it was just as ok for him to stop, and she needed to respect that.

We also talked about never trusting the pill (I was on birth control both times I got pregnant, and reacting to pregnancy. I also brought up not staying in a bad relationship because he liked the sex.

Yikes. Your 14 yo is having sex?

That was 9 years ago. He wasn't having sex yet but he was dating. 14/15 is pretty common for first experiences. My husband teaches 9th grade... our heads were not buried in the sand.

Fast forward to today. At 23 1/2 ds has had the same GF for 7 years. They are talking about marriage, buying a house etc.

Dating for 7 years? So, failure to launch. Sounds like you weren't as successful as this as you thought.

What are you talking about? They are 23 and 24. He graduated from college in June, she still has two more years because she's paying her own way. He is working in his chosen field, and saving for a ring and a down-payment on a house.

Failure to lauch? Hardly.

Don't listen to some crazy on the internet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We/I talked to ds at about 14 about consent and using protection every single time. It was more of a refresher talk because he had started dating. We were on a road trip, so a good time to chat. I told him that if she tenses up, hesitates, or pushes him away at ALL, it was time to stop. I also told him that it was just as ok for him to stop, and she needed to respect that.

We also talked about never trusting the pill (I was on birth control both times I got pregnant, and reacting to pregnancy. I also brought up not staying in a bad relationship because he liked the sex.

Yikes. Your 14 yo is having sex?

That was 9 years ago. He wasn't having sex yet but he was dating. 14/15 is pretty common for first experiences. My husband teaches 9th grade... our heads were not buried in the sand.

Fast forward to today. At 23 1/2 ds has had the same GF for 7 years. They are talking about marriage, buying a house etc.

Dating for 7 years? So, failure to launch. Sounds like you weren't as successful as this as you thought.

What are you talking about? They are 23 and 24. He graduated from college in June, she still has two more years because she's paying her own way. He is working in his chosen field, and saving for a ring and a down-payment on a house.

Failure to lauch? Hardly.