1000% agree PP. I don’t know why anyone thinks that they are entitled to a private school education that they cannot afford- especially around here where the public schools are excellent. It’s gross.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the issue. I bought my house for 800k and it's worth 1.3 now, for reasons I don't control. I don't make more money than I did when I bought it, cashflow is the same. Am I supposed to sell the house to pay for school?
If the school has better candidates for financial aid, that's fine: they don't have to give me any. But it's pretty clear we are among the "poor" families, based on donations and vacations we can't afford, and I'm not too proud to apply. We get modest aid, less than 10%.

Similar situation here. Bought the house almost 20 years ago for $700k. Assessed at about a million now. We have quite a low mortgage payment due to refinancing a few years after we bought it, but we could never afford this house now.

We do manage as a full-pay family, but only with help from grandparents. No fancy cars and vacations, either, although we just replaced a 20-year-old car that finally died completely.

As someone who made the wise financial choices along the way (payed off mortgage as soon as we could on a house that was $500K when we bought it, much less than the bank said we could afford, drives older cars, waited to start private until we could afford it), it's a little maddening that we're full pay because we made the careful choices and were responsible. It's not easy to afford, but our assets look good because hey, we worked friggin hard to get here. We could have gone on much nicer vacations, had many more cars along the way, still be paying the mortgage on a nicer house, and the bank account would look a lot thinner and our financial aid case a lot stronger.

You guys need to stop counting other peoples' money. You don't know their circumstances (nor should you). You trust your school to make the determination of who is eligible for and deserving of financial aid. If you believe you could fall into that category, please apply, and discuss the criteria with your schools financial aid office. If you don't, other peoples receipt of financial aid has no impact on you.

We do not receive financial aid. Maybe we could, as we are certainly not one of the "rich" families at our school - we go on vacations with our families, but typically drive, rather than fly. Our kids have never been out of the country, and we had to disappoint our daughter that the Eras Tour wasn't going to happen, but all of their needs, and many of their wants, are met. We live in a house currently valued at about 1.4M, but we definitely have to budget well.

Since we don't apply for aid, it doesn't matter to me if a "richer" family receives it. It is simply none of my business, and I have more important things to worry about.

Anonymous wrote:The issue is those of us living smaller and paying full freight do not want to subsidize the tuition of those living larger. Nor should we.

Anonymous wrote:First, life is not fair. There are always people who get some perk or whatever that you don’t even if you “deserve” it. This line of thinking will make you insane so just stop.

Second, schools ability to offer financial aid to families varies from year to year and from school to school. There is no simple or singular equation here. And it’s very different than the calculus that happens for college.

Third, there’s no way for you to really know someone else’s circumstances. We know quite a few people who send their kids to private school, but could not afford to do so without significant help from grandparents. They live in nice houses but a year over year commitment especially if more than one kid is a lot. Life in this area is expensive. Houses are $$$ but that doesn’t mean income is there.

Are there people who grift and low ball self reported/self employed income? Yes, I’m sure there are. But I think the gray area for who gets FA and who doesn’t is pretty big.

This is the reality of the private school world. They can more or less operate as they wish. If you don’t like it, then your choices are to either suck it up or go elsewhere. No private school is going to expect a family to sell their primary residence or take out a home equity loan, as suggested above.

I hear you! We are living in an old house that bought 15+ years ago, drive old cars, and vacations are staycations or very modest. We’ve applied for FA and have been rejected because technically we make to much/have saved too much. Now that we are paying full for college the rage about doing the right thing and feeling like we are punished for it is real.

The issue is those of us living smaller and paying full freight do not want to subsidize the tuition of those living larger. Nor should we.

Anonymous wrote:First, life is not fair. There are always people who get some perk or whatever that you don’t even if you “deserve” it. This line of thinking will make you insane so just stop.

Second, schools ability to offer financial aid to families varies from year to year and from school to school. There is no simple or singular equation here. And it’s very different than the calculus that happens for college.

Third, there’s no way for you to really know someone else’s circumstances. We know quite a few people who send their kids to private school, but could not afford to do so without significant help from grandparents. They live in nice houses but a year over year commitment especially if more than one kid is a lot. Life in this area is expensive. Houses are $$$ but that doesn’t mean income is there.

Are there people who grift and low ball self reported/self employed income? Yes, I’m sure there are. But I think the gray area for who gets FA and who doesn’t is pretty big.

Yep, that’s why I never give unrestricted donations to my kids’ school.

First, life is not fair. There are always people who get some perk or whatever that you don’t even if you “deserve” it. This line of thinking will make you insane so just stop.

Second, schools ability to offer financial aid to families varies from year to year and from school to school. There is no simple or singular equation here. And it’s very different than the calculus that happens for college.

Third, there’s no way for you to really know someone else’s circumstances. We know quite a few people who send their kids to private school, but could not afford to do so without significant help from grandparents. They live in nice houses but a year over year commitment especially if more than one kid is a lot. Life in this area is expensive. Houses are $$$ but that doesn’t mean income is there.

Are there people who grift and low ball self reported/self employed income? Yes, I’m sure there are. But I think the gray area for who gets FA and who doesn’t is pretty big.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the issue. I bought my house for 800k and it's worth 1.3 now, for reasons I don't control. I don't make more money than I did when I bought it, cashflow is the same. Am I supposed to sell the house to pay for school?
If the school has better candidates for financial aid, that's fine: they don't have to give me any. But it's pretty clear we are among the "poor" families, based on donations and vacations we can't afford, and I'm not too proud to apply. We get modest aid, less than 10%.

+1. In similar situation as pp.

You can sell it, you can take out a home equity loan, you can move to a cheaper place and rent it out - it's entirely up to you. But the simple fact is, you have a significant asset that you should have to tap into before using *other people's money* to pay for an luxury item.

If you had a stock portfolio, should you have to use that?

Would you like the rest of the parents to buy you a Rolex, too?

Assuming this is in reference to the DMV area, some of you seem woefully misinformed about what $1.2 million gets you around here. And many people bought their homes years ago for much less and they have increased in value. That doesn’t the owner has a liquid asset to use towards tuition payment. As a result, primary home is exempt for all sorts of programs, even SNAP and Medicaid.

https://redf.in/4ivIWx

https://redf.in/IZ43Rp

https://redf.in/kGR6ZY

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Finaid formulas at Ivy League colleges can easily generate 100% grant aid for people in $1MM+ homes — it’s highly focused on income and generous with primary home values and 401k balances. So why are you expecting these secondary schools to view things so differently?

Yes, I expect aid to go to students who need it, not for greedy entitled parents who live far better than us. We live in a crappy little house, one car we purchased, one 18 year old handy down car and haven’t had a vacation in 5 years. Zero debt. DIY almost everything. Yes, I’d expect a family like us a priority over single mom in a house worth 2-3 times ours. V

Maybe your poor comprehension skills are why you live in a crappy house.

Anonymous wrote:I don't see the issue. I bought my house for 800k and it's worth 1.3 now, for reasons I don't control. I don't make more money than I did when I bought it, cashflow is the same. Am I supposed to sell the house to pay for school?
If the school has better candidates for financial aid, that's fine: they don't have to give me any. But it's pretty clear we are among the "poor" families, based on donations and vacations we can't afford, and I'm not too proud to apply. We get modest aid, less than 10%.

I'm too proud to apply because we can afford it. We just have to give up extras.

Too bad you were not part of their teacher club. They would have paid for everything.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If they are at Stone Ridge I want to know about it. WTF?

In our experience, SR was not remotely generous when it came to aid. DH got sick and took a massive paycut. We had multiple girls at the school (all on the lifer track) and they were unwilling to even give us a payment plan. We struggled through but it was rough. Will never give them another cent.

Anonymous wrote:Finaid formulas at Ivy League colleges can easily generate 100% grant aid for people in $1MM+ homes — it’s highly focused on income and generous with primary home values and 401k balances. So why are you expecting these secondary schools to view things so differently?

Yes, I expect aid to go to students who need it, not for greedy entitled parents who live far better than us. We live in a crappy little house, one car we purchased, one 18 year old handy down car and haven’t had a vacation in 5 years. Zero debt. DIY almost everything. Yes, I’d expect a family like us a priority over single mom in a house worth 2-3 times ours. V

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There shouldn’t be financial aid for private schools to begin with. The problem here (though really 1.2M for a house they may not own isn’t that egregious) illustrates that. If you can’t pay, you can’t go. There’s a free option.

It is egregious. Many of us bought houses at $400k or less so we’d have the flexibility. Why should someone overspending be rewarded while those in their means get nothing.

All this means is you lived here and had money when a house could be bought for 400k. People who moved later, couldn't buy then, divorced later, etc are just SOL in your world?

If you think people are lying about their assets, say that. My school knows my income and where I live. They use that information to decide who gets aid and they decided to give me some. Sorry you don't like the informed decision somebody else made.

There are still houses for $409-600, just not in the areas you want to live in. It’s tacky. That money should go to families who need it. You have two kids in private, expensive house and nice lifestyle plus your kids get supported by their dad too.