Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is in 4th grade, she’s a summer birthday sent on time, so she will be 9 all year. She’s done well in school, very social, no big issues. DH and I were both fall birthdays and gifted and often bored, so that factored heavily into not holding her back. We are ok with her being smart, but fine if she’s not “gifted” .

However, our neighbor who is die hard redshirting, obviously held back her summer birthday kid. She’s over a year older than my daughter and they are in the sane grade.

The mom won’t shut up about how “gifted” her kid is (she’s definitely smart) and goes on and on about how bored her kid is. She also got on her kids teacher to develop a different curriculum just for her kid because she’s “so smart and so bored”. I feel so bad for her teacher.

I bite my tongue, but she keeps talking about it. I’m tempted to point that her kid really should be in the grade above… also she’s die hard redshirting due to social issues and ironically, her kid is so awkward. The extra year did her no favors.

If she wasn’t so condescending, always spouting off about “the gift of time” because of redshirting… and acting like only poor people who can’t afford to send their kid to another year of preschool, are the ones that send their summer kids on time- I’d continue to ignore her, but I’m over it… how would you respond?

NP. You are a nasty piece of work. Why do DCUM anti-redshirters seem to have such paltry social skills? It is truly bizarre.

I did not redshirt, before you predictably claim I did. I’m just fascinated by the weirdo anti-redshirters on DCUM.

Op here… how am I a nasty piece of work?

Ignore them, OP. There are some overly sensitive people who redshirted their kids thinking their kids would be at the top of the heap, and are now very bitter and disappointed that reality did not match the fantasy. They realize now that the academic, behavioral and social-emotional problems that prompted them to redshirt their children in the first place have not been magically cured. And in many cases the problems are made worse. (E.g. kids getting bullied for being too old for the grade.) It is sad, but not your problem. People who are on the fence about redshirting should read these bitter Betty posts and consider that redshirting is probably not going to solve their children's problems.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a March redshirter this is nothing

Wow. March is a common birth month in my family, a perfect month because there’s no question of holding them back, you don’t have to make a decision like August/September birthdays, you just go. Unless there’s a serious problem which this kid must have had.

Op here. DD’s grade has March and April redshirts… I’m part of a local mom group and there’s moms asking if they should redshirt February and January boys

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a March redshirter this is nothing

Wow. March is a common birth month in my family, a perfect month because there’s no question of holding them back, you don’t have to make a decision like August/September birthdays, you just go. Unless there’s a serious problem which this kid must have had.

Op here. DD’s grade has March and April redshirts… I’m part of a local mom group and there’s moms asking if they should redshirt February and January boys

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know a March redshirter this is nothing

Wow. March is a common birth month in my family, a perfect month because there’s no question of holding them back, you don’t have to make a decision like August/September birthdays, you just go. Unless there’s a serious problem which this kid must have had.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Gosh, have you ever thought that your daughter wouldn't be bored now if you had sent her to school on time? Such a shame she had to waste a year."


But I'm mean.

I can’t believe the RedShirt mom can’t out two and two together on this.

My July girl started school on time, so young for her grades and is now in fourth grade. We have a track club and mets through the local ymca, with school teams. One girl runner always wins and we get second, the other girl 4/2014 is a full 15 mos only than my child, 7/2015.

So that’s annoying, but the family is not. It’s just hard at this age to deal with losing to someone so much older than you. It will probably wash out, for girls, by 10th or 11th grade but seems like an athletics advantage for a long while.

You should ask the management to sort kids by age rather than grade. There were a few children at my children's school who were 2-3 years too old for the grade. Apparently they were "homeschooled" for several years and so far behind that they couldn't be placed with kids their age, LOL. But luckily our local leagues sort by age, not grade. There should never be more than a 1 year span in ages on these teams.

Anonymous wrote:I know a March redshirter this is nothing

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is in 4th grade, she’s a summer birthday sent on time, so she will be 9 all year. She’s done well in school, very social, no big issues. DH and I were both fall birthdays and gifted and often bored, so that factored heavily into not holding her back. We are ok with her being smart, but fine if she’s not “gifted” .

However, our neighbor who is die hard redshirting, obviously held back her summer birthday kid. She’s over a year older than my daughter and they are in the sane grade.

The mom won’t shut up about how “gifted” her kid is (she’s definitely smart) and goes on and on about how bored her kid is. She also got on her kids teacher to develop a different curriculum just for her kid because she’s “so smart and so bored”. I feel so bad for her teacher.

I bite my tongue, but she keeps talking about it. I’m tempted to point that her kid really should be in the grade above… also she’s die hard redshirting due to social issues and ironically, her kid is so awkward. The extra year did her no favors.

If she wasn’t so condescending, always spouting off about “the gift of time” because of redshirting… and acting like only poor people who can’t afford to send their kid to another year of preschool, are the ones that send their summer kids on time- I’d continue to ignore her, but I’m over it… how would you respond?

NP. You are a nasty piece of work. Why do DCUM anti-redshirters seem to have such paltry social skills? It is truly bizarre.

I did not redshirt, before you predictably claim I did. I’m just fascinated by the weirdo anti-redshirters on DCUM.

Op here… how am I a nasty piece of work?

Anonymous wrote:OP was oldest in her class and she claims gifted . Pot meet kettle

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Gosh, have you ever thought that your daughter wouldn't be bored now if you had sent her to school on time? Such a shame she had to waste a year."


But I'm mean.

I can’t believe the RedShirt mom can’t out two and two together on this.

My July girl started school on time, so young for her grades and is now in fourth grade. We have a track club and mets through the local ymca, with school teams. One girl runner always wins and we get second, the other girl 4/2014 is a full 15 mos only than my child, 7/2015.

So that’s annoying, but the family is not. It’s just hard at this age to deal with losing to someone so much older than you. It will probably wash out, for girls, by 10th or 11th grade but seems like an athletics advantage for a long while.

Anonymous wrote:
OP,

Autism screams out at me from your description of this neighbor's child. There must be some twice exceptionality there (meaning high IQ with some sort of learning disability or special need).

I say this because I have a gifted, learning disabled kid. He has ADHD and ASD, plus some learning disabilities. Also he has a high IQ. He has never fit in: when he was redshirted, on the advice of his pediatrician, he was academically bored but socially it was only a tiny bit better. We skipped him ahead again, because I realized that socially he would never completely fit in, so it was better to keep him challenged academically.

My point is this: please don't be too offended by this parent. Maybe internally she's deeply worried about her child, and she's trying to figure it out. Whatever her parent is doing or not doing, consider that this child, unlike yours, will always have a harder time because she has a neurodivergence that will not go away. My son is in college now, and just as intellectual and socially awkward as before. He won't be able to network or befriend people like normal people do. It will impact his professional and private life.

Your kid is lucky - she is bright and socially attuned. Keep in mind that she has much higher chances of success in life than my kid or your neighbor's kid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DD is in 4th grade, she’s a summer birthday sent on time, so she will be 9 all year. She’s done well in school, very social, no big issues. DH and I were both fall birthdays and gifted and often bored, so that factored heavily into not holding her back. We are ok with her being smart, but fine if she’s not “gifted” .

However, our neighbor who is die hard redshirting, obviously held back her summer birthday kid. She’s over a year older than my daughter and they are in the sane grade.

The mom won’t shut up about how “gifted” her kid is (she’s definitely smart) and goes on and on about how bored her kid is. She also got on her kids teacher to develop a different curriculum just for her kid because she’s “so smart and so bored”. I feel so bad for her teacher.

I bite my tongue, but she keeps talking about it. I’m tempted to point that her kid really should be in the grade above… also she’s die hard redshirting due to social issues and ironically, her kid is so awkward. The extra year did her no favors.

If she wasn’t so condescending, always spouting off about “the gift of time” because of redshirting… and acting like only poor people who can’t afford to send their kid to another year of preschool, are the ones that send their summer kids on time- I’d continue to ignore her, but I’m over it… how would you respond?

NP. You are a nasty piece of work. Why do DCUM anti-redshirters seem to have such paltry social skills? It is truly bizarre.

I did not redshirt, before you predictably claim I did. I’m just fascinated by the weirdo anti-redshirters on DCUM.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Intelligence tests are normed by age, down the the month, so a held back/redshirted kid could still legitimately test as gifted. But yes they do tend to be over-identified.

Here is an anecdote for all the people who insist that redshirting is not perceived by children as being held back and that redhirted kids never ever get made fun of for being held back. At some event I overheard a group of about half a dozen kids in the 5th grade who went to different schools discussing who among them was the oldest. When an early summer redshirted girl aas determined to be the oldest, another laughed at her and said "you got held back!"

Folks, kids KNOW.

Only you know you nut

Nope, kids definitely notice the old kids in the grade.

And? The kids don’t care who is the oldest or youngest. Their deranged parents care.

Kids who are too old for the grade often get made fun of unless they are the top of the class academically. It's a gamble to hold your kid back from starting kindergarten on time. You're betting on that extra year to make them appear smarter, but if the kid is average or worse, then you've created a new problem. Kids will make fun of the slow kids regardless of age, but the held back slow kids get it worse. I remember well my DD's elem had some really vicious young-for-the-grade bullies who picked on a redshirted girl who was behind in reading. You're doing a disservice to your kid if you don't factor that in your decision to delay kindergarten. I've seen the "social reasons" backfire enough times to make me very skeptical of the redshirting benefits

No they don’t. Where do you get your information from?

Anonymous wrote:"Gosh, have you ever thought that your daughter wouldn't be bored now if you had sent her to school on time? Such a shame she had to waste a year."


But I'm mean.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Intelligence tests are normed by age, down the the month, so a held back/redshirted kid could still legitimately test as gifted. But yes they do tend to be over-identified.

Here is an anecdote for all the people who insist that redshirting is not perceived by children as being held back and that redhirted kids never ever get made fun of for being held back. At some event I overheard a group of about half a dozen kids in the 5th grade who went to different schools discussing who among them was the oldest. When an early summer redshirted girl aas determined to be the oldest, another laughed at her and said "you got held back!"

Folks, kids KNOW.

Only you know you nut

Nope, kids definitely notice the old kids in the grade.

And? The kids don’t care who is the oldest or youngest. Their deranged parents care.

Kids who are too old for the grade often get made fun of unless they are the top of the class academically. It's a gamble to hold your kid back from starting kindergarten on time. You're betting on that extra year to make them appear smarter, but if the kid is average or worse, then you've created a new problem. Kids will make fun of the slow kids regardless of age, but the held back slow kids get it worse. I remember well my DD's elem had some really vicious young-for-the-grade bullies who picked on a redshirted girl who was behind in reading. You're doing a disservice to your kid if you don't factor that in your decision to delay kindergarten. I've seen the "social reasons" backfire enough times to make me very skeptical of the redshirting benefits

Sorry your daughter went to such a backwards school but I haven’t seen this at all in any of my kid’s classrooms. This is not a general experience.