We have a fairly big house. My kids are more than welcome to move back home if they are working/studying remotely or working/studying in DMV area.

My expectation from my kids is that they will be able to leverage every advantage that we can give them and run with it.

We want them to save their money and start investing it now for their retirement, future home, future children etc.

OK. But I would rather pay for them to live elsewhere.

Absolutely ok for college grads to move back home for a while or for several years or for their entire life. This should in no way stop them from having a great career, social groups, getting married and having a family of their own. Everyone needs to get along with each other and help each other.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A lot of AC nowadays have not been taught domestic skills in entirety. .

Yes, they can sometimes cook. But, they cannot budget for food, cannot clean up after cooking or eating, don't know how to create a healthy menu with seasonal and local ingredients and certainly don't know how to host.

Similarly, they know how to throw their clothes in the washing machine and dryer. But, they do not know how to sort their clothes before laundering, how to iron/fold them, how to put it away in the dresser or closet, how to create a regular laundry regimen, how often to wash their bed linen, pillows, comforters, parkas, etc etc.

Okay, but to be fair nobody knows these things.

The functional ones do. And if your kid does not know, then you need to teach them. How do you teach them? By making them assist you when you do these chores. This is part and parcel of adulating.

Kids need to know how to take care of themselves and their stuff before they go to college. No excuses. There are TONS of YouTube videos that will teach you how to do these things.

It’s fine for a while, if there is an end goal, like saving for a down payment. They need to have adult responsibilities.

Anonymous wrote:A lot of AC nowadays have not been taught domestic skills in entirety. .

Yes, they can sometimes cook. But, they cannot budget for food, cannot clean up after cooking or eating, don't know how to create a healthy menu with seasonal and local ingredients and certainly don't know how to host.

Similarly, they know how to throw their clothes in the washing machine and dryer. But, they do not know how to sort their clothes before laundering, how to iron/fold them, how to put it away in the dresser or closet, how to create a regular laundry regimen, how often to wash their bed linen, pillows, comforters, parkas, etc etc.

Okay, but to be fair nobody knows these things.

Mine is home, working a high paying job and saving $. They have an active social life and we get along really well. I have a small house but it's laid out in such a way that she gets lots of privacy.

My DS graduated from college in 2022 with a job. The job is local (we're in Fairfax County) and he decided to just stay at home for a year or so and save money. He ended up living at home for 2 years. He moved into a townhouse in Arlington with three other guys a few months ago. In the two years at home, he saved close to a total of 100K - almost $50K in his 401K (two years at the max contribution plus his employer's contribution.). His rent is reasonable and he is still able to save the max in 401K plus a reasonable amount in his general savings. He hopes to be able to buy his own place in a couple of years.

While he was at home, DS was responsible for his own laundry, cleaning his room and his bathroom. He paid for his own car insurance and gave us money for his cell phone and a nominal amount of rent - basically what I was spending on food for him. Yes, he did get a home cooked meal most nights. And DH and I would include him most of the time when we would go out to dinner. All I asked of him was to be a "respectful roomate" - clean up after himself; let me know if he'd be home for dinner; let me know if he wasn't planning on being at home (if he was going to crash on a friend's couch.). He helped us out with dog sitting a few times when DH and I went out of town.

Overall, it was great having him at home. But I did bite my tongue a few times when he reverted to teenage behavior. I know he is really glad he was able to save a significant amount of money and he has told his two younger brothers to stay at home for at least a year when they graduate.

A lot of AC nowadays have not been taught domestic skills in entirety. .

Yes, they can sometimes cook. But, they cannot budget for food, cannot clean up after cooking or eating, don't know how to create a healthy menu with seasonal and local ingredients and certainly don't know how to host.

Similarly, they know how to throw their clothes in the washing machine and dryer. But, they do not know how to sort their clothes before laundering, how to iron/fold them, how to put it away in the dresser or closet, how to create a regular laundry regimen, how often to wash their bed linen, pillows, comforters, parkas, etc etc.

Your kids will launch when you have given them the tools to launch. Teach them real skills, concentrate on their education and socialization, instill good habits and also be a good role model. Neglecting to parent and then expecting them to be successful adults is moronic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2024 VA Tech grad is living at home in order to save as much money as he can before moving out three years from now. He makes 120K and saves about 95% of his income, after 401K & taxes. He is on my family healthcare plan, so he is also saving money there. His gf is also doing the same thing, so then they will have about 350K in cash when they move out and get married.

Does he do his own cooking, cleaning, tidying or does he expect a meal on the table like when he was little? Honestly as a VERY burnt out mom of teenagers that is the one thing that makes me dread this. The minute they are in college I will stop cooking meals. I'm not going back to servitude for years to come.

I have no sympathy for people who wear their crown of thorns so openly. My teen is capable of cooking a few types of food (at least) for themselves. If she can, so can yours. So can adult children living at home.

Cooking a meal here and there is nothing at all like being the default adult for meals.

My kids are too young for me to have strong feelings about this, but my goal is to launch them into a successful, independent adult life within a few months of college graduation. I plan to pay 100% of the undergrad expenses and give them a car, so they should be in a great position to get into an independet living situation, hopefully with roommates, where they can still save money. I've worked hard to provide a nice childhood for them and set them up for adult life, and I expect them to do their part when the time comes. I plan to set these expectations with them years before they graduate college, as my parents did for me. I know I was on my own; thus, I did several internships during undergrad and had a job lined up at graduation.

My teens could cook and were expected to tidy and help with chores before they even went to college.
After 18 I expect them to help pay a portion of mortgage and utilities. Much cheaper than going out in their own

It depends on your situation. Obviously if you have a job in DC and your fam lives in DC, then living at home is reasonable. But many grads are not going to only focus on DC jobs for free housing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 2024 VA Tech grad is living at home in order to save as much money as he can before moving out three years from now. He makes 120K and saves about 95% of his income, after 401K & taxes. He is on my family healthcare plan, so he is also saving money there. His gf is also doing the same thing, so then they will have about 350K in cash when they move out and get married.

Does he do his own cooking, cleaning, tidying or does he expect a meal on the table like when he was little? Honestly as a VERY burnt out mom of teenagers that is the one thing that makes me dread this. The minute they are in college I will stop cooking meals. I'm not going back to servitude for years to come.

I have no sympathy for people who wear their crown of thorns so openly. My teen is capable of cooking a few types of food (at least) for themselves. If she can, so can yours. So can adult children living at home.