If you are doing IVF, I assume you had difficulty conceiving. Might not be successful. I don’t think you have the pleasure of being picky. Your kid may be born premature. You may miscarry. I would not delay.

We know plenty of August birthdays. Don’t think it matters if kid is youngest or oldest.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No, but I would redshirt them.

Only if the child is struggling. My best friend all through school was an August birthday. I was April. We were 4 months apart in age! I can’t imagine her with kids a year younger.

If a child is doing academically and socially well I would think that repeating something or dragging out all of these “pre” years would be detrimental to their development.

If your child is struggling holding back will not fix things. You work with them at home, or get a tutor or what ever help they need.

If you have already decided (before the hypothetical kid is already born) to hold them back, then who cares when you're due. Just transfer when you're ready. Your cart is way before the horse.

The cut off date in Virginia is Sept 30. I know kids born on that date who started K at 4 and turned 5 a month or so in. They were fine. You could wait, but the baby could come a month early. Who knows? I wouldn’t worry about the date so much.

I had an October 17 due date and ended delivering 8 weeks early so my IVF baby ended up with a late August birthday. So much can happen that is outside of your control. I did end up redshirting(totally unrelated to issues with prematurity) but made the decision at the point in time it was time to make the redivision. IE when my child was 4.

Doesn't matter except I wouldn't want to be heavily pregnant and extra miserable in July and August.

I'd avoid August, but that's because the idea of third trimester+summer heat and humidity=my own personal hell.

February-April is the sweet spo, imo. But there's only so much control you have over this, OP. Let go, accept uncertainty, and move forward with embryo transfers because you want to have a baby, period.

Well we were due in late September birthday but the baby had other plans and decided to come over a month early, so late August instead. We sent him on time and he is now thriving in middle school, in advanced math, socially fine, maybe just still on the short side compared to his friends.

You can plan all you want but sometimes life has its own plans. Plus making this "redshirt" decision before you even know what kind of kid you have is a bit ridiculous. If there is one thing having a kid has taught me, it's to be flexible and adjust. Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Public kindergarten has gotten really hard. If you have the means to send your kid to a private, play-based kindergarten, August is no problem. But a public school kindergarten as the youngest...yeesh. The kids are expected to be able to write letters and numbers and sit quietly and color in the lines, follow all classroom routines, etc from the very first day.

I'm sure some of it comes down to personality and preschool preparedness, but IMHO the summer kids look so tiny next to the "just after the cut-off" September kids.

I guess I don't really have any solid advice, just grateful to have the kid I have after a lot of struggle, so I also understand how sometimes you just go for it and trust that you'll figure the rest out later.

I keep hearing how hard Kindergarten is these days and I just don't see it. We're in VA so the cutoff is 9/30. I sent my mid September birthday girl on time and she's had no trouble at all with the material, following directions, or with making friends, and she fits right in physically (95th percentile height). If anything, the one kid in the class who was redshirted (July birthday) is having the most trouble adjusting from what I have heard from her and other parents hearing the same thing from their own kid.

Kindergarten is one big year of assessment. They can identify strengths and weaknesses to help prepare for first grade. I agree I can’t see what is so hard about it.

My younger one was born in September in a state with a strict September 1st cutoff date. She has always been the oldest in her class. She did two years of pre-k because she was too young for K, but I think one year would have been enough. She was bullied in fourth grade but PreK-3 and 5th/6th/beginning of 7th have been smooth sailing socially. She has never struggled academically.

My older one was born in January 2009. I found out I was pregnant in early 2008 after a year of infertility. A lot of people weren't trying to get pregnant during the recession, and as a result, there are more kids in her grade born in late 2008 compared to early 2009. She is younger than 60-70% of her grade. She has never had any academic problems, but it's been harder for her socially than her younger sister. She was a late bloomer socially. She was bullied in preschool and was a bit of a follower in K-5 (she would get very clingy to her best friends, and she didn't understand why those girls' other friends didn't like her). Fourth to ninth grade was hard due to mean girls but now in high school, she has found her friend group and is doing really well. I think an extra year would have helped her, but we don't live in a state were redshirting in public school is the norm. It is very discouraged in our southern state compared to DC/NYC where redshirting is encouraged in public school.

Hindsight is 50/50. Kids can have challenges no matter what month they are born but I do think that it is better to have a fall baby than an August baby.

Anonymous wrote:Your baby could be due in November but born in August. Ask me how I know? I would transfer as soon as you can, and not try to control your future child’s birthday.

Yup. Our October baby was born in August. She is in second grade now and is doing fine.

Anonymous wrote:No, but I would redshirt them.

Only if the child is struggling. My best friend all through school was an August birthday. I was April. We were 4 months apart in age! I can’t imagine her with kids a year younger.

If a child is doing academically and socially well I would think that repeating something or dragging out all of these “pre” years would be detrimental to their development.

Anonymous wrote:Do you really want a Leo? Or a Virgo honestly. A few months doesn't matter - I'd hold off for a Scorpio or Sag.

Ha, I don't think I've ever heard anyone wish for a Scorpio before! We're usually among the most hated of Zodiac signs - signed another November baby who started K at 4

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m doing a frozen embryo transfer, so we can choose the date.

On the one hand, I have been waiting so long and we don’t know if it will work, so I’m inclined to transfer as soon as possible (Nov).

On the other hand, an August birthday means that I am “holding them back” for school.

You had better believe that I would never send a child 2 weeks from the cut-off!

Should I just transfer in December and avoid the controversy?

Depends on your age. Generally, I agree August birthdays are not the greatest. September is a very popular month to be born in so I would wait and transfer in December.

My kid was born in September and I sent him on time. Everything worked out fine. I never even strangled any of the smug redshirting parents I met IRL who yammered on about The Gift of Time even after they knew we hadn't held him back.

Haha. I have an August birthday who went on time and I actually think one advantage to having a kid with this birthday is that it forces you to figure out how to deal with some of the natural inequities of parenting pretty early. It also teaches you to ignore the well-meaning (and sometimes not well-meaning) advice of people who don't know your kid or your family situation and are prone to making declarations about redshirting or what it means to be ready for K or whatever based on very little first hand understanding of the challenge.

Though the fact that OP is already thinking about this is a sign that maybe she should just try to avoid it. I had an August kid with absolutely no idea this was an issue (first and only) and so wandered into the debate over redshirting totally cold which was abrupt but ultimately beneficial because I wasn't in my head about it. I felt my way through and made the right choice for my kid because I was very focused on my kid and not on doing what I was "supposed" to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m doing a frozen embryo transfer, so we can choose the date.

On the one hand, I have been waiting so long and we don’t know if it will work, so I’m inclined to transfer as soon as possible (Nov).

On the other hand, an August birthday means that I am “holding them back” for school.

You had better believe that I would never send a child 2 weeks from the cut-off!

Should I just transfer in December and avoid the controversy?

Depends on your age. Generally, I agree August birthdays are not the greatest. September is a very popular month to be born in so I would wait and transfer in December.

My kid was born in September and I sent him on time. Everything worked out fine. I never even strangled any of the smug redshirting parents I met IRL who yammered on about The Gift of Time even after they knew we hadn't held him back.