Anonymous
Post 09/20/2024 13:22     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
Anonymous wrote:

My mother was like this too. If I did something she didn’t like, she’d refuse to call or pick up the phone when I called. This could go on for months and months at times. If it coincided with my birthday or a major holiday, she still wouldn’t call and would not send a card (she was big into cards otherwise). My dad would wait for her to go out before calling me. The crazy thing is how long it took me to realize this wasn’t normal behavior, how long I blamed myself for it, and it still affects me today years later. And to be clear, the things that could provoke this were not like major things. It could be going on a vacation she didn’t think I should take, spending my money in a way she thought was wasteful, dating someone she didn’t like for whatever reason.


My mom is like this too. When someone doesn't do as she wants, they're "bad". It also took me years to figure out. I finally had no other choice than to admit to myself how crazy this is when after another disagreement she called family around to say that I'm terminally ill (because I refused to do what she wanted). My brother called me in panic and I finally told him that I've had enough of her manipulations. You'd think you'd call your "terminally ill" child yourself? Of course not.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2024 10:41     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I'm not sure about years, but my MIL waits until DH texts/calls her. She will never be the first one to reach out. She just gets pissier (sp?) and pissier about it lol.


I've seen this before it makes no sense. Is this some form of a "test" from a total narcissist? I wish someone could explain this to me...


My parents are like this. My mom doesn’t call now because I don’t do things her way. I must first apologize crying on my knees before her admitting that I did everything wrong. My dad won’t dare pick up the phone without her blessing.


My mother was like this too. If I did something she didn’t like, she’d refuse to call or pick up the phone when I called. This could go on for months and months at times. If it coincided with my birthday or a major holiday, she still wouldn’t call and would not send a card (she was big into cards otherwise). My dad would wait for her to go out before calling me. The crazy thing is how long it took me to realize this wasn’t normal behavior, how long I blamed myself for it, and it still affects me today years later. And to be clear, the things that could provoke this were not like major things. It could be going on a vacation she didn’t think I should take, spending my money in a way she thought was wasteful, dating someone she didn’t like for whatever reason.
Anonymous
Post 09/20/2024 09:29     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My children's schedules are so busy I don't want to interfere and they know that, although I am always thinking about them. We text on the daily about this and that and they call me whenever they have free time for a long catch up chat. Works for all of us and no bitterness or hard feelings, I simply defer to them enjoying their daily lives. They know their mother always loves them and is always thinking about them and will always pick that phone up just to hear their voices. I do not understand the drama some of my friends and their kids put into their relationships.


No one knows "their mother always loves them" when she plays games and doesn't call for years on end.



I’m sorry you don’t know your mother loves you. I’m thankful my children know their parents love them every second of every day. They’re not insecure and are healthy adults. You might want to work on yourself.

This is a very cruel response to someone who claims to be loving and kind. Not all mothers love their children, not all mothers show that they love their children. That does not make someone insecure or unhealthy, that makes their mother a bad parent or at the very least a different relationship than you have with yours. I hope you can find some compassion for other people and work on that for yourself.


PP is clearly a troll. There is no way a truly caring and kind mother would respond in that manner.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2024 20:23     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My children's schedules are so busy I don't want to interfere and they know that, although I am always thinking about them. We text on the daily about this and that and they call me whenever they have free time for a long catch up chat. Works for all of us and no bitterness or hard feelings, I simply defer to them enjoying their daily lives. They know their mother always loves them and is always thinking about them and will always pick that phone up just to hear their voices. I do not understand the drama some of my friends and their kids put into their relationships.


No one knows "their mother always loves them" when she plays games and doesn't call for years on end.



I’m sorry you don’t know your mother loves you. I’m thankful my children know their parents love them every second of every day. They’re not insecure and are healthy adults. You might want to work on yourself.


You are an evil piece of work. And I don’t know why you’re weighing in—you said you text with your kids daily, this thread is about parents who don’t communicate with their kids at all.

Though if you were my parent, I’d be happy to never speak or text with you, nasty nasty witch.
Anonymous
Post 09/19/2024 00:13     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
I’m 51 and my mother never calls—not even on my birthday. She’ll occasionally text. She was never a particularly nurturing mother so it tracks.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2024 18:42     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Some kids actively break bonds. If you do that, don't expect your mom to just call you when you've specifically said you don't want them in your life.


I don't think someone who has said they don't want their mom in their life expects their mom to call. In fact they don't want their mom to call. Sure this should be understood.


Not necessarily. A lot of times they will just lie and make something up. Don't believe everything you hear.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2024 17:33     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
Anonymous wrote:

Some kids actively break bonds. If you do that, don't expect your mom to just call you when you've specifically said you don't want them in your life.


I don't think someone who has said they don't want their mom in their life expects their mom to call. In fact they don't want their mom to call. Sure this should be understood.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2024 17:16     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My children's schedules are so busy I don't want to interfere and they know that, although I am always thinking about them. We text on the daily about this and that and they call me whenever they have free time for a long catch up chat. Works for all of us and no bitterness or hard feelings, I simply defer to them enjoying their daily lives. They know their mother always loves them and is always thinking about them and will always pick that phone up just to hear their voices. I do not understand the drama some of my friends and their kids put into their relationships.


No one knows "their mother always loves them" when she plays games and doesn't call for years on end.



I’m sorry you don’t know your mother loves you. I’m thankful my children know their parents love them every second of every day. They’re not insecure and are healthy adults. You might want to work on yourself.

This is a very cruel response to someone who claims to be loving and kind. Not all mothers love their children, not all mothers show that they love their children. That does not make someone insecure or unhealthy, that makes their mother a bad parent or at the very least a different relationship than you have with yours. I hope you can find some compassion for other people and work on that for yourself.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2024 17:12     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
No one knows "their mother always loves them" when she plays games and doesn't call for years on end.

I’m sorry you don’t know your mother loves you. I’m thankful my children know their parents love them every second of every day. They’re not insecure and are healthy adults. You might want to work on yourself.


The mom who doesn't call her adult children doesn't care enough, most likely never did. She doesn't love them. She thinks about herself. If your mom doesn't care about you, it will certainly leave an impact -- it's the worst thing to happen to a child... and working on yourself will not make your mom love you. Sorry you're so insensitive and cruel, even though you seem to think of yourself as a kind and generous person.


Some kids actively break bonds. If you do that, don't expect your mom to just call you when you've specifically said you don't want them in your life.
Anonymous
Post 09/18/2024 16:46     Subject: Re:Why would a mother not call her grown children?
My mother in law stopped calling my husband when he stopped gifting her money every month. This stopped not long after we got married. Of course she blames me for his change of heart but I never discussed it with him. I only found out about it after we were married and she blew up at him and he told her no more.
Anonymous
Post 09/15/2024 00:41     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
Anonymous wrote:
No one knows "their mother always loves them" when she plays games and doesn't call for years on end.

I’m sorry you don’t know your mother loves you. I’m thankful my children know their parents love them every second of every day. They’re not insecure and are healthy adults. You might want to work on yourself.


The mom who doesn't call her adult children doesn't care enough, most likely never did. She doesn't love them. She thinks about herself. If your mom doesn't care about you, it will certainly leave an impact -- it's the worst thing to happen to a child... and working on yourself will not make your mom love you. Sorry you're so insensitive and cruel, even though you seem to think of yourself as a kind and generous person.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2024 20:42     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
Anonymous wrote:You know sometimes you have to offer forgiveness even when the other person doesn’t deserve it. Why take from your health because you’re carrying so much anger. Life’s too short.


I’ve forgiven my mother. That doesn’t mean she’s suddenly going to become a nice person. The thread topic is Why don’t some moms ever call their kids?
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2024 20:41     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My children's schedules are so busy I don't want to interfere and they know that, although I am always thinking about them. We text on the daily about this and that and they call me whenever they have free time for a long catch up chat. Works for all of us and no bitterness or hard feelings, I simply defer to them enjoying their daily lives. They know their mother always loves them and is always thinking about them and will always pick that phone up just to hear their voices. I do not understand the drama some of my friends and their kids put into their relationships.


No one knows "their mother always loves them" when she plays games and doesn't call for years on end.



I’m sorry you don’t know your mother loves you. I’m thankful my children know their parents love them every second of every day. They’re not insecure and are healthy adults. You might want to work on yourself.


This is a super messed up response.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2024 19:15     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
My mom doesn’t call anymore. She has early dementia. She still recognizes me but talking on the ohone was never really here thing.

But I see her every 2 weeks and conversations are different. She’s still my mom and I still love her.
Anonymous
Post 09/14/2024 19:07     Subject: Why would a mother not call her grown children?
You know sometimes you have to offer forgiveness even when the other person doesn’t deserve it. Why take from your health because you’re carrying so much anger. Life’s too short.