I celebrated with a group of friends the weekend after my divorce was finalized. We talked, we laughed, we watched movies, we had really good fondue and we talked about our futures (we were still in our twenties). Inside, I was crumbling and was in so much despair. The party was a comforting and supportive distraction from the immense pain at that time in my life.

I am not going to have a party when my divorce finalizes, because I am not really a party person.

But at this point, my marriage has been dead for two years. We haven't lived together for longer than that. I haven't had any hope that we will reconcile. The divorce won't mark the end of the marriage, it will mark the end of an incredibly difficult period, of expensive legal proceedings, of having all assets tied up so I can't move out of a home I associate with trauma. And yes, while I will always be sad that my marriage ended, I look forward to the relief that divorce will bring, and the opportunity to do things like date again, and move to a place where I want to live.

It’s actually a huge accomplishment if you can divorce and support yourself so many women get stuck.

Anonymous wrote:I see two types of divorces.
- people who married someone who became truly awful
- two reasonably good people who couldn't make it work and brought out the worst in each other.

For the second type, especially if you have kids, what is there to celebrate?

Well it’s short sighted to think those are the only 2 options.

Anonymous wrote:I do like the idea of normalizing and de-stigmatizing D. I think a lot of my pain came from thinking I had failed.

And the legal aspects. I wish I would have had an agreement in place. We were / are smart and yet so foolish!

But you did fail. Both of you. Somewhere along the way, if you hadn’t failed you would be happily married. You either picked bad or failed somewhere else.

The bystander routine is mind boggling.

Anonymous wrote:https://www.cnbc.com/2024/09/07/divorce-parties-reached-an-all-time-high-last-year-heres-why.html

It's unfortunate that we have reached the point that now people are celebrating their divorce

It's embarassing. I would decline an invite.

Anonymous wrote:Divorce is proven to be a social contagion, immature celebratory parties would only worsen it for keeping up with the Jonses crowd. Just like half of the women marry for a day to play princess, they'll divorce needlessly to play queen for the day.

You sound like you've never met a woman.

Anonymous wrote: I mean...if someone wants to have a divorce party, fine it's their life-I just did not want to.

I am happy to be divorced, but not happy that I had a divorce-I would have preferred a happy marriage, but since that didn't happen...in the end, no party but my dc and I 'celebrated' by getting an amazing kitten, he is the best cat!!! I'm so glad we went to the adoption event that day.

I’m really sad to be divorcing, but I could really get behind a celebratory kitten. Nicely done!