Why did you even resume contact with your mother? You sound like a bit of a pushover, and you really should have known better. Frankly I am worried for your daughter.

OP just wanted to say congrats on the baby! Sounds like you will be a wonderful mom. Go off and create the family life you want and deserve.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He’s a child molester. She is an enabler and a perpetuator, which also makes her a child molester.

Cut.
Her.
Out.
Of.
Your.
Life.

If you do not, you, too are an enabler and a perpetuator of child molestation. I’m sorry, but here we are. It is that serious. STOP IT. CUT HER OFF.

Oh they have been cut off for months now. I haven't responded to my SIL but she texts and I know my mom and brother won't ever tell her the truth. A part of me wants to tell her and another says just keep ignoring her. I'll never see/speak to my mother or brother again

BLOCK. And delete your social media

You are a mom now. To a daughter. I really sympathize with you and you should be proud for setting boundaries.

Do not go back. Your #1 duty now is to protect your child. Do not maintain ties with abusers.

Banish both relatives for a lifetime. No regrets. Your burger can take care of your mother in old age. It’s very rare that I’d advocate cutting off family, but it is so clearly warranted in this case.

Congratulations.

Never ever leave your child with your mother alone.

OP it sounds like you are doing all the right things to move on. Hugs to you. Are you in therapy or do you have a therapist who knows your situation? It might help to talk through with them how to respond or not to your SIL. For now, please block her on your phone so you don’t see her texts. Focus on you,!your beautiful daughter and DH and what the 3 of you need. No matter how “good” your baby is it’s a huge change that upends everything and it takes a while to get your groove. Try to block all rhe extraneous noise like your SIL. SIL’s wants and feelings are not your problem.

OP, I would file a police report and send it to your SIL, and then I would change my phone number and email address and never speak to any of them again. Enjoy that baby girl!

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry, OP. You are protecting your daughter and she is lucky to have you - you are keeping distance from people you know aren’t safe. Wishing you an easy recovery and hope you have the love and support you need right now.

This!
Now block your brother from contacting you. He’s worse than garbage and honestly so is your mother.

Congratulations on your daughter and all the best as you make a life as a mother who will love, protect, and value her daughter.

No need to even think about the "cousins" thing. Teens don't "get to know" a baby anyway. They are just guilting you.

Anonymous wrote:OP, are you local? I wish I could bring you some muffins and adopt you bc you deserve a much better mother than the one you have.

+1. I have enough love as a mother to go around endlessly. Wishing you and your new daughter the best OP. You’re already a wonderful mother

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is it too late to file a police report against your brother? I would want to at least try and let there be a public record. Hope it ruins his life.

No statute of limitations in the state it happened in but I have no proof. I have thought about it before

If it happened when you were 4 no one expects you to have proof. Get through the first few months with your newborn and enjoy her! Then file the police report! Molesters don’t change and he likely doing this to someone else’s kid.

OP, you are a great mom. Protect yourself like you’re protecting your baby girl. It’s time to block your mom and your SIL. It’s up to you if you want to tell SIL why. If you do, don’t set yourself up to argue with her. Make your text in a note that you can paste into a text, send it, block immediately. Block them on any SM you have.

You don’t need to be reading their texts or seeing anything they have to say. I’m one of the last people to advocate for estrangement but it is more than warranted here.

Anonymous wrote:Surely you knew she couldn’t help herself? I would have expected such a move from this mentally ill person.

The hormones are getting to you, OP, and you are at high risk of post partum depression. Please tell your husband and doctor about your heightened risk.

And you don’t need your mother in your life. No need to stay in contact.

Sorry, I just saw your update. You’re very brave and have taken good care of yourself! I would reply once to SIL explaining what your brother did, but not responding is fine too.

Surely you knew she couldn’t help herself? I would have expected such a move from this mentally ill person.

The hormones are getting to you, OP, and you are at high risk of post partum depression. Please tell your husband and doctor about your heightened risk.

And you don’t need your mother in your life. No need to stay in contact.