Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe how many posters are telling OP to MYOB and blaming her for looking at his screen. As women we need to be extra aware of our surroundings especially when traveling or in unfamiliar areas. Unfortunately the world is full of creeps like this guy (quite likely “harmless”) but if he’s brazen enough to do this in public who knows if he would escalate given the chance. Many sex criminals start with antisocial behavior and minor offenses before engaging in worse acts, especially if the opportunity arises. My bet is the act of looking at these photos in a crowded area made it even more tantalizing.

Unfortunately there likely wasn’t anything OP could do in this situation, but I’d rather look at my seatmate’s screen, realize he is a creeper, and be extra vigilant around him than internalize that it is my responsibility to look away from something within my field of vision so as to not disturb this man’s voyeurism.

It’s fine to “be vigilant.” It’s not fine to report him to the flight attendant or tell him he can’t look at these things.

This is OP, I didn’t do either of those things as I would never want to put the flight attendant and that position. After the flight, I wondered if there are any options so was curious about what anyone else would have done because the content was a little more than a friend in a bikini. What I didn’t mention before is that there was a minor sitting two seats down, who I realized at the end of the flight, Was not part of his party. The whole thing was bizarre and definitely raised my antenna.

To the person wondering how I could see his screen, we were both on the aisle in coach! He was not 3 feet away!

You think the “minor” has never seen a woman in a bathing suit before?

Unless you failed to accurately describe what you saw, there was no nudity. There was no sexual activity depicted.

Come on. You know the difference between someone who is talking to someone in a bikini, and someone who is grossly ogling someone in a bikini. You know someone who's scrolling through friends' photos and some of them are in bathing suits, and someone who is stopping to enlarge butts and boobs. One thing is fine in public, one should be saved for private time.

Just like if your movie has a sex scene and you sit there and watch it that's one thing. If you start rubbing your hands all over your body while you're watching it, or making little moaning noises, it's another.

That does not mean what this guy did was illegal - or indicative of trafficking or anything like that. But it's unpleasant and inappropriate. I don't blame OP for feeling icky and wondering if there IS anything to do. (Probably not!)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe how many posters are telling OP to MYOB and blaming her for looking at his screen. As women we need to be extra aware of our surroundings especially when traveling or in unfamiliar areas. Unfortunately the world is full of creeps like this guy (quite likely “harmless”) but if he’s brazen enough to do this in public who knows if he would escalate given the chance. Many sex criminals start with antisocial behavior and minor offenses before engaging in worse acts, especially if the opportunity arises. My bet is the act of looking at these photos in a crowded area made it even more tantalizing.

Unfortunately there likely wasn’t anything OP could do in this situation, but I’d rather look at my seatmate’s screen, realize he is a creeper, and be extra vigilant around him than internalize that it is my responsibility to look away from something within my field of vision so as to not disturb this man’s voyeurism.

It’s fine to “be vigilant.” It’s not fine to report him to the flight attendant or tell him he can’t look at these things.

This is OP, I didn’t do either of those things as I would never want to put the flight attendant and that position. After the flight, I wondered if there are any options so was curious about what anyone else would have done because the content was a little more than a friend in a bikini. What I didn’t mention before is that there was a minor sitting two seats down, who I realized at the end of the flight, Was not part of his party. The whole thing was bizarre and definitely raised my antenna.

To the person wondering how I could see his screen, we were both on the aisle in coach! He was not 3 feet away!

You think the “minor” has never seen a woman in a bathing suit before?

Unless you failed to accurately describe what you saw, there was no nudity. There was no sexual activity depicted.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe how many posters are telling OP to MYOB and blaming her for looking at his screen. As women we need to be extra aware of our surroundings especially when traveling or in unfamiliar areas. Unfortunately the world is full of creeps like this guy (quite likely “harmless”) but if he’s brazen enough to do this in public who knows if he would escalate given the chance. Many sex criminals start with antisocial behavior and minor offenses before engaging in worse acts, especially if the opportunity arises. My bet is the act of looking at these photos in a crowded area made it even more tantalizing.

Unfortunately there likely wasn’t anything OP could do in this situation, but I’d rather look at my seatmate’s screen, realize he is a creeper, and be extra vigilant around him than internalize that it is my responsibility to look away from something within my field of vision so as to not disturb this man’s voyeurism.

It’s fine to “be vigilant.” It’s not fine to report him to the flight attendant or tell him he can’t look at these things.

This is OP, I didn’t do either of those things as I would never want to put the flight attendant and that position. After the flight, I wondered if there are any options so was curious about what anyone else would have done because the content was a little more than a friend in a bikini. What I didn’t mention before is that there was a minor sitting two seats down, who I realized at the end of the flight, Was not part of his party. The whole thing was bizarre and definitely raised my antenna.

To the person wondering how I could see his screen, we were both on the aisle in coach! He was not 3 feet away!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe how many posters are telling OP to MYOB and blaming her for looking at his screen. As women we need to be extra aware of our surroundings especially when traveling or in unfamiliar areas. Unfortunately the world is full of creeps like this guy (quite likely “harmless”) but if he’s brazen enough to do this in public who knows if he would escalate given the chance. Many sex criminals start with antisocial behavior and minor offenses before engaging in worse acts, especially if the opportunity arises. My bet is the act of looking at these photos in a crowded area made it even more tantalizing.

Unfortunately there likely wasn’t anything OP could do in this situation, but I’d rather look at my seatmate’s screen, realize he is a creeper, and be extra vigilant around him than internalize that it is my responsibility to look away from something within my field of vision so as to not disturb this man’s voyeurism.

It’s fine to “be vigilant.” It’s not fine to report him to the flight attendant or tell him he can’t look at these things.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe how many posters are telling OP to MYOB and blaming her for looking at his screen. As women we need to be extra aware of our surroundings especially when traveling or in unfamiliar areas. Unfortunately the world is full of creeps like this guy (quite likely “harmless”) but if he’s brazen enough to do this in public who knows if he would escalate given the chance. Many sex criminals start with antisocial behavior and minor offenses before engaging in worse acts, especially if the opportunity arises. My bet is the act of looking at these photos in a crowded area made it even more tantalizing.

Unfortunately there likely wasn’t anything OP could do in this situation, but I’d rather look at my seatmate’s screen, realize he is a creeper, and be extra vigilant around him than internalize that it is my responsibility to look away from something within my field of vision so as to not disturb this man’s voyeurism.

It’s fine to “be vigilant.” It’s not fine to report him to the flight attendant or tell him he can’t look at these things.

She can 100% say out loud that is gross. And the airline can set whatever standards it wants for content. There is no intrinsic right to do whatever you want on a plane.

Anonymous wrote:I’m also non-confrontational, but will absolutely give a look of disgust, turn my head or walk away. On a flight, I might ask to change seats.

Just to remind the guy it’s inappropriate and lame….kinda like the creepy flashers who you’d look at, pause and wall away.

What are some appropriate shame responses?

Anonymous wrote:^Also even if he has the “right” to look it these photos around others, OP has the right to observe her surroundings and shame him in some way. Being on an airplane does not give you the right to do whatever you want undisturbed.

I am way too non-confrontational to say anything, but if someone told that guy he was being creepy I would 100% support that.

Anonymous wrote:I’m also non-confrontational, but will absolutely give a look of disgust, turn my head or walk away. On a flight, I might ask to change seats.

Just to remind the guy it’s inappropriate and lame….kinda like the creepy flashers who you’d look at, pause and wall away.

What are some appropriate shame responses?