Anonymous
Post 08/10/2024 08:47     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:I’m 48 with a lot of grey and I think I’ve had it with trying to cover it. I got a terrible all-over color with horrible brassy highlights a year ago that was much too dark. My hair grows fast so the roots were evident immediately. After a few times seeing that stylist with my hair just getting darker and highlights worse, I found a really good colorist who was able to fix it somewhat with balyage, lowlights and highlights. But it costs SO much, and moreover, the highlights just ruin the texture of my already frizzy hair so I look like a crazy witch in the heat.

I think I’m just gonna go grey. I don’t see any other solution!

OMG OP. You are me! Same thing happened and now my hair is a total frizz, I look like a witch! I am growing it out of the highlights and low lights and going grey too!
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2024 08:27     Subject: Re:I think I just have to go grey
I’m in favor of normalizing grey hair for women whose hair is growing in grey. (And FWIW, lots of women with grey hair look amazing- you can look at various instagram accounts for proof.) When more women start to give up hair dye, people will stop having negative associations with grey hair. And I can’t quite believe all the posters (both here and elsewhere online) who are pushing back so hard against women who are making this choice to stop dying their hair. Seriously, why are they so invested in forcing women to conform to their preferred vision of how women should present themselves?
Anonymous
Post 08/10/2024 07:20     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I transitioned to my 90% grey during the pandemic and after a couple of years, went back to coloring it. I hate the time (and expense) of coloring every 4 weeks, but I found I looked very washed out as a grey headed person so I “needed” to apply makeup each day, and more of it than I am used to/comfortable with, and I found that made me feel less than my usual self - vs coloring myhair its original brown makes me
feel exactly like myself.


This is so funny. Exactly like yourself while covering yourself up. “Yourself” has changed. Accept it or be one of those pathetic people in their 50s with obviously fake hair.


WTF?! I am 54 and have so few greys. Just about 1/16th at crown of head. My hair is still naturally deep brunette. My dad never really went grey--got some late 70s but still a lot of dark brown.

I go every 6-7 weeks for a tiny root touch up and gloss. My hair is not brassy since 98% of it is natural.


It is. Your natural hair being brown and having dye slapped over it makes it brassy. Even if the dye matches your natural color, it opens your hair cuticle and your natural color turns brassy as it fades. It may not be noticeable to you day to day bc it is subtle. But when you are outside, I guarantee it looks much more reddish/orange than your natural brown hair before you started covering grays.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2024 22:45     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m 48 with a lot of grey and I think I’ve had it with trying to cover it. I got a terrible all-over color with horrible brassy highlights a year ago that was much too dark. My hair grows fast so the roots were evident immediately. After a few times seeing that stylist with my hair just getting darker and highlights worse, I found a really good colorist who was able to fix it somewhat with balyage, lowlights and highlights. But it costs SO much, and moreover, the highlights just ruin the texture of my already frizzy hair so I look like a crazy witch in the heat.

I think I’m just gonna go grey. I don’t see any other solution!

Grey below the belt as well…?


NP and that’s a rude and nosy question trying to imply all sorts of stuff about aging but my hair on my head is 90% gray and my other hair has not gone gray at all.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2024 21:16     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:I’m 48 with a lot of grey and I think I’ve had it with trying to cover it. I got a terrible all-over color with horrible brassy highlights a year ago that was much too dark. My hair grows fast so the roots were evident immediately. After a few times seeing that stylist with my hair just getting darker and highlights worse, I found a really good colorist who was able to fix it somewhat with balyage, lowlights and highlights. But it costs SO much, and moreover, the highlights just ruin the texture of my already frizzy hair so I look like a crazy witch in the heat.

I think I’m just gonna go grey. I don’t see any other solution!

Grey below the belt as well…?
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2024 10:46     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I love my gray. I've been gray for 20 years, and it's freeing. I get more compliments on how beautiful my hair is - and how "brave" I was to do so. I've been told by strangers that I've suddenly inspired them to stop coloring.

Love the freedom!


Strangers tell you you're "brave." For your hair color? I wouldn't take this as a compliment.


DP. I'd take it as a compliment, for sure! They recognize the PP hasn't caved to societal expectations of women aging and that she's rocking it! It's not easy bucking aging expectations (as we see on this thread and in this forum). I applaud the PP and am glad she's in the "silver' club.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2024 08:20     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:I love my gray. I've been gray for 20 years, and it's freeing. I get more compliments on how beautiful my hair is - and how "brave" I was to do so. I've been told by strangers that I've suddenly inspired them to stop coloring.

Love the freedom!


Strangers tell you you're "brave." For your hair color? I wouldn't take this as a compliment.
Anonymous
Post 08/09/2024 04:26     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m 48 with a lot of grey and I think I’ve had it with trying to cover it. I got a terrible all-over color with horrible brassy highlights a year ago that was much too dark. My hair grows fast so the roots were evident immediately. After a few times seeing that stylist with my hair just getting darker and highlights worse, I found a really good colorist who was able to fix it somewhat with balyage, lowlights and highlights. But it costs SO much, and moreover, the highlights just ruin the texture of my already frizzy hair so I look like a crazy witch in the heat.

I think I’m just gonna go grey. I don’t see any other solution!



Sounds like you just want to give up. Hope you have an exit plan for when DH loses interest. Good luck my dear.


lol, what a sad troll
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2024 21:15     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m 48 with a lot of grey and I think I’ve had it with trying to cover it. I got a terrible all-over color with horrible brassy highlights a year ago that was much too dark. My hair grows fast so the roots were evident immediately. After a few times seeing that stylist with my hair just getting darker and highlights worse, I found a really good colorist who was able to fix it somewhat with balyage, lowlights and highlights. But it costs SO much, and moreover, the highlights just ruin the texture of my already frizzy hair so I look like a crazy witch in the heat.

I think I’m just gonna go grey. I don’t see any other solution!



Sounds like you just want to give up. Hope you have an exit plan for when DH loses interest. Good luck my dear.


What's your plan? You're not getting any younger, either, my dear, hair dye or no hair dye.

Should have married someone who liked you for more than your youthful looks.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2024 21:11     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m 48 with a lot of grey and I think I’ve had it with trying to cover it. I got a terrible all-over color with horrible brassy highlights a year ago that was much too dark. My hair grows fast so the roots were evident immediately. After a few times seeing that stylist with my hair just getting darker and highlights worse, I found a really good colorist who was able to fix it somewhat with balyage, lowlights and highlights. But it costs SO much, and moreover, the highlights just ruin the texture of my already frizzy hair so I look like a crazy witch in the heat.

I think I’m just gonna go grey. I don’t see any other solution!



Sounds like you just want to give up. Hope you have an exit plan for when DH loses interest. Good luck my dear.


I am so sorry for you that you married a d-bag and have internalized your looks as being your worth.

some of us choose partners who actually love us. Good luck
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2024 21:09     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You try going gray. If it ages you too much, you can always color it again, too. Good luck.


yup, be prepared to be ignored except for the occasional annoying you go girl power age gracefully bitter old lady


Promise? This sounds like it was written by someone who didn’t get a lot of attention when they were younger. Sorry if that bothered you.

I got a lot of unwanted attention and I don’t miss it. It’s a relief. If gray hair accelerated the waning, then that is an argument in favor of going gray.

Invisibility is a super power. But maybe that’s just my (former) pretty privilege speaking. Sorry you haven’t come to terms with not being harassed anymore.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2024 20:55     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think gray hair can look really great on a lot of people! If you're worried about it aging you, you just need to focus on keeping your makeup and clothing/accessories fresh and youthful (within reason, of course).


I think the opposite. I’ve seen a handful of people who can pull it off.

If dying is too high maintenance, feel free to stop. But it is the rare woman who looks better with gray.


I’m pretty sure I’ll look better gray than with crazy fly-away frizz all summer, gross brassy shades, grey roots, and spending $400/month at the salon that I can save for a relaxing vacation instead.


I believe that you truly believe that.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2024 19:21     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I use a toning gloss to fix brassiness and to get more time between salon visits. I air dry with a little argan oil and my hair is healthy


But all the toner in the world can’t buy you more than 6 weeks if you have a significant amount of gray roots against brown hair.


And this is why a wig is easier.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2024 19:21     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:I’m 48 with a lot of grey and I think I’ve had it with trying to cover it. I got a terrible all-over color with horrible brassy highlights a year ago that was much too dark. My hair grows fast so the roots were evident immediately. After a few times seeing that stylist with my hair just getting darker and highlights worse, I found a really good colorist who was able to fix it somewhat with balyage, lowlights and highlights. But it costs SO much, and moreover, the highlights just ruin the texture of my already frizzy hair so I look like a crazy witch in the heat.

I think I’m just gonna go grey. I don’t see any other solution!



Sounds like you just want to give up. Hope you have an exit plan for when DH loses interest. Good luck my dear.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2024 14:03     Subject: I think I just have to go grey
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would be gray already but something in the boxed color makes my hair really smooth. The natural texture is frizzy and bottled toners don't help. I wish I knew what it was about the boxed color that does this: I'd stop coloring if I could get it separately.

I have medium coloring, curly hair, and a curvy figure: gray is already tough for me to pull off so it can't be frizzy as well.


NP. You need to find the "Curlfriend" side of TikTok! If you have frizzy hair, you don't have straight hair. You probably have at least 2A/B hair. Frizzy hair (I'm a 3A/B) is usually about the 'misalignment' of hair (meaning they go every whichway) or lack of moisture. In short, you need good products.

Using the right products and the right techniques has been revolutionary for me. In particular, learning how to use a "bounce brush" (after products to moisturize/control) to get my curls to align has made a humongous difference. And, my grey hair looks amazing! I've got young adult girls and if I needed to dye my hair, they'd be the first to tell me. DH likes it a lot as well.

https://www.bouncecurl.com/pages/wavy


^^ This! ^^ And find a good colorist who can help you. Toner will help bring down the brassy color (or get some purple shampoo and conditioner if you can't splurge on a good colorist for now) I'm still highlighting while embracing the silver as it's coming in (age 50) but my highlights are not brassy (finally! I've had some really bad color over the years...)

But def try out different much more moistuziring product to tame that frizz