Not all parents of mean kids are themselves mean. I know of one kid who had a minor brain injury as a toddler that apparently changed his personality. The parents are very nice but they know their kid is filterless and will never get a filter. They have just resigned themselves to being the parents of a mean kid. I feel bad for them.

Anonymous wrote:There seem to be several sources of bullying

1) Kids who come from violent homes.
2) Kids whose parents do something barely legal for a living and communicate the value that following rules is for suckers.
3) Kids who use their social status as weapons. Interestingly, I find that these kids have pretty negative parents; nothing is quite good enough. I don't think they are happy people.

So not true. Bullies tend to be popular and confident. What you wrote is just some debunked pseudo-psychology that people used to believe.

Parents of bullies are usually also bullies themselves. They have a different narrative in their own heads for those they bully (this person is so annoying, so socially inept, not a good person, etc - they always find a way to justify their behavior toward that person), and likewise they feel their own children are justified in treating others that way. They are most likely to blame the victim for having poor social skills or being too sensitive.

Anonymous wrote:I think bullying is a very real and terrible thing- but must less prevalent than people often say. There are examples on this thread where a bullying label is applied when it shouldn't be.

Another example. My DD has a friend, Larlo, who this past year was in 6th grade. His parents say he is bullied and they are considering Catholic school next year.

Here are some situations he has been in lately:

1. On the lunch line, a cool kid will go toward the front of the line to talk to someone and Larlo will start yelling (you can imagine his voice as a young 6th grader), "Hey!! You're cutting! You can't do that! He's cutting!" And then the kid will respond "Shut up F-slur!" Is it horrible? Yeah. This is a not a good kid who understands you don't ever say that. But-- no one else on the line felt the need to say anything.

2. Larlo is called gay often and maybe he is but is not able to deal with it yet. Fine. But he'll cry if someone asks him if he likes a boy or if he is gay. OK, it is what it is. And then he'll say "I am going to the dance with John." Pauses. "Just as friends!!!" Then if he person he is speaking to so much as makes a face Larlo doesn't like, Larlo gets really mad and upset.

So these kinds of incidents keep happening and the parents call it bullying. Will Catholic school be better?

It is laughable that this would be considered bullying. It is this kind of BS that puts bullied children in danger.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think bullying is a very real and terrible thing- but must less prevalent than people often say. There are examples on this thread where a bullying label is applied when it shouldn't be.

Another example. My DD has a friend, Larlo, who this past year was in 6th grade. His parents say he is bullied and they are considering Catholic school next year.

Here are some situations he has been in lately:

1. On the lunch line, a cool kid will go toward the front of the line to talk to someone and Larlo will start yelling (you can imagine his voice as a young 6th grader), "Hey!! You're cutting! You can't do that! He's cutting!" And then the kid will respond "Shut up F-slur!" Is it horrible? Yeah. This is a not a good kid who understands you don't ever say that. But-- no one else on the line felt the need to say anything.

2. Larlo is called gay often and maybe he is but is not able to deal with it yet. Fine. But he'll cry if someone asks him if he likes a boy or if he is gay. OK, it is what it is. And then he'll say "I am going to the dance with John." Pauses. "Just as friends!!!" Then if he person he is speaking to so much as makes a face Larlo doesn't like, Larlo gets really mad and upset.

So these kinds of incidents keep happening and the parents call it bullying. Will Catholic school be better?

That is actually bullying.

Catholic Church is outwardly very homophobic but no one will call him the f word and it is actually a very welcoming shelter for gay people. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a horrific way.

PP you quoted. I respect what you are saying but I do not agree. A kid that goes out of his way to interact with known mean kids and call them out for borderline infractions has to take some responsibility. He's also engaging people to consider his sexuality and falling apart when they do.

To call that bullying is an insult to kids that are trying their best not to have issues with anyone and are targeted and harassed.

This is bullying and the person who says it is not is likely a bully themselves

No. It's just that there are other kids in that school who I really care about who are actually being bullied and I think that's a really sad and unfortunate thing and has been very difficult for the parents to deal with.

But the parents of Larlo who I mentioned in my first post don't want to empower him to do better socially in any way. He doesn't have to take any responsibility for annoying people who have nothing to do with him, or setting people up to say something he finds offensive. I think it's troubling that some of you seem to see yourself in the situation.

Also Larlo and one of the bullies kids I know are very good friends. Yet, Larlo has so awareness or empathy for what's she's going through. Which is just objectively worse. She is being targeted by a bully. Kids with social issues are not always perfect angels. Sometimes such kids need to take responsibility for their actions, and I don't think that's offensive. And yes I think teachers and administration would then be able to take actual bullying more seriously .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think bullying is a very real and terrible thing- but must less prevalent than people often say. There are examples on this thread where a bullying label is applied when it shouldn't be.

Another example. My DD has a friend, Larlo, who this past year was in 6th grade. His parents say he is bullied and they are considering Catholic school next year.

Here are some situations he has been in lately:

1. On the lunch line, a cool kid will go toward the front of the line to talk to someone and Larlo will start yelling (you can imagine his voice as a young 6th grader), "Hey!! You're cutting! You can't do that! He's cutting!" And then the kid will respond "Shut up F-slur!" Is it horrible? Yeah. This is a not a good kid who understands you don't ever say that. But-- no one else on the line felt the need to say anything.

2. Larlo is called gay often and maybe he is but is not able to deal with it yet. Fine. But he'll cry if someone asks him if he likes a boy or if he is gay. OK, it is what it is. And then he'll say "I am going to the dance with John." Pauses. "Just as friends!!!" Then if he person he is speaking to so much as makes a face Larlo doesn't like, Larlo gets really mad and upset.

So these kinds of incidents keep happening and the parents call it bullying. Will Catholic school be better?

That is actually bullying.

Catholic Church is outwardly very homophobic but no one will call him the f word and it is actually a very welcoming shelter for gay people. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a horrific way.

PP you quoted. I respect what you are saying but I do not agree. A kid that goes out of his way to interact with known mean kids and call them out for borderline infractions has to take some responsibility. He's also engaging people to consider his sexuality and falling apart when they do.

To call that bullying is an insult to kids that are trying their best not to have issues with anyone and are targeted and harassed.

This is bullying and the person who says it is not is likely a bully themselves

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the thing — from the parent’s perspective, the bully often IS considered quite popular. They are often charismatic and seem like leaders (because kids certainly do seem to follow them). I think it can be really hard to figure out that your kid is the problem when they seem to have plenty of people texting them, wanting to come to their party, etc.

My kid was good friends with a girl who pretty relentlessly bullied another kid in fifth grade. There wasn’t any actual physical violence, but lots of “I hate you, I wish you would die, etc.” My kid and I talked about it a lot and she always knew which kid was wrong, but the bully was also super charismatic and lots of fun. She struggled with what to do. In sixth grade, my daughter clearly chose to stay friends with the bullied girl and not the bully and the bully then turned on my kid. The difference is that my kid isn’t anxious, etc and could mostly not care that the bully was talking smack about her and turning people against her. It is a large school and my kid still has plenty of friends.

I can promise you that the bully’s parents don’t really get it at all. We know them pretty well, we see them regularly, etc. I can see from their perspective why their daughter seems to be a super friendly, charming kid. I don’t think they will ever get it. I’m sure they still think their daughter and my daughter are friends (although not as close as they used to be me). They have no idea that my daughter knows their kid is a snake and she carefully navigates around her.

this is much closer to typical bullying than most people think. the idea of a bully who is himself a victim of another bully is not accurate.

it is difficult to be a bully if you are not popular. especially among girls. you need other kids for bullying to work. your target must be isolated and helpless. how are you going to bully a child who has a strong friend group? the group will turn on you.

Go to a playground - you’ll figure it out.

They keep punching down, there’s always someone lower on the totem pole. In my daughter’s case, the bullying problem in first grade girls has spilled over to DD’s kindergarten because on the playground they’re the easy targets for even the lowliest first grader.

In my DS’ case, the head bullies were super effective at making the lower tier kids turn against each other. He is good friends with the nice dorky boy across the street - they geek out together… but at school the popular crowd told them the two of them that they wouldn’t be allowed to play on any playground equipment unless the “proved themselves” by racing each other and beating a time. They raced each other, which enrages me to think about, and one would be chosen and the other ostracized. The both had a chance to be on the inside and join the popular kids in ostracizing the other. DS was devastated that his friend from across the street had joined the bullies but I know that the day that he ran fast enough he did it too. One day, the game changed - win today and you don’t have to run anymore. For some reason a light went on and one said to the other, you know that’s not true. They’re just going to say we have to run tomorrow. And they mustered up the courage to walk away. Proud of both of them but so sad that they were so desperate to avoid the humiliation that they turned on each other. Not sure what made them realize it was a trick, but if one had consistently been better than the other, sadly, they would have been absorbed into the bullies and they would have lost each other.

Anonymous wrote:Here’s the thing — from the parent’s perspective, the bully often IS considered quite popular. They are often charismatic and seem like leaders (because kids certainly do seem to follow them). I think it can be really hard to figure out that your kid is the problem when they seem to have plenty of people texting them, wanting to come to their party, etc.

My kid was good friends with a girl who pretty relentlessly bullied another kid in fifth grade. There wasn’t any actual physical violence, but lots of “I hate you, I wish you would die, etc.” My kid and I talked about it a lot and she always knew which kid was wrong, but the bully was also super charismatic and lots of fun. She struggled with what to do. In sixth grade, my daughter clearly chose to stay friends with the bullied girl and not the bully and the bully then turned on my kid. The difference is that my kid isn’t anxious, etc and could mostly not care that the bully was talking smack about her and turning people against her. It is a large school and my kid still has plenty of friends.

I can promise you that the bully’s parents don’t really get it at all. We know them pretty well, we see them regularly, etc. I can see from their perspective why their daughter seems to be a super friendly, charming kid. I don’t think they will ever get it. I’m sure they still think their daughter and my daughter are friends (although not as close as they used to be me). They have no idea that my daughter knows their kid is a snake and she carefully navigates around her.

this is much closer to typical bullying than most people think. the idea of a bully who is himself a victim of another bully is not accurate.

it is difficult to be a bully if you are not popular. especially among girls. you need other kids for bullying to work. your target must be isolated and helpless. how are you going to bully a child who has a strong friend group? the group will turn on you.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think bullying is a very real and terrible thing- but must less prevalent than people often say. There are examples on this thread where a bullying label is applied when it shouldn't be.

Another example. My DD has a friend, Larlo, who this past year was in 6th grade. His parents say he is bullied and they are considering Catholic school next year.

Here are some situations he has been in lately:

1. On the lunch line, a cool kid will go toward the front of the line to talk to someone and Larlo will start yelling (you can imagine his voice as a young 6th grader), "Hey!! You're cutting! You can't do that! He's cutting!" And then the kid will respond "Shut up F-slur!" Is it horrible? Yeah. This is a not a good kid who understands you don't ever say that. But-- no one else on the line felt the need to say anything.

2. Larlo is called gay often and maybe he is but is not able to deal with it yet. Fine. But he'll cry if someone asks him if he likes a boy or if he is gay. OK, it is what it is. And then he'll say "I am going to the dance with John." Pauses. "Just as friends!!!" Then if he person he is speaking to so much as makes a face Larlo doesn't like, Larlo gets really mad and upset.

So these kinds of incidents keep happening and the parents call it bullying. Will Catholic school be better?

That is actually bullying.

Catholic Church is outwardly very homophobic but no one will call him the f word and it is actually a very welcoming shelter for gay people. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a horrific way.

PP you quoted. I respect what you are saying but I do not agree. A kid that goes out of his way to interact with known mean kids and call them out for borderline infractions has to take some responsibility. He's also engaging people to consider his sexuality and falling apart when they do.

To call that bullying is an insult to kids that are trying their best not to have issues with anyone and are targeted and harassed.

Look, meanings of words do change over the years. Great, you've got one definition. These other PPs responding to what their kid was subjected to, that's their right, even if their kid didn't physically get a beat down as bullying would be characterized in the 80s and 90s. You don't have to be the bully police. I mean, you can try, but we all may march on without you while you yell after us.

My kid didn't actually get his arm broken by the bully, he only came home crying every day for two years because the bully threatened to. Is that severe enough to call it bullying or do we actually need broken bones? And are fractures okay or does it have to be compound?

psychological bullying can be as dangerous as physical bullying. bones don't need to be broken. children are committing suicides because of ostracism, humiliation, malicious rumors, blackmail etc.

the main distinction is not physical/psychological but rather, intensity, frequency, maliciousness. "shut up, idiot" is not bullying by itself. when a bully, who is typically fairly popular, targets a single child (always the same child) systematically, this is bullying. when some hothead randomly starts fights with other kids, this is not bullying. it could be dangerous, lead to injuries, but it's a different category.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think bullying is a very real and terrible thing- but must less prevalent than people often say. There are examples on this thread where a bullying label is applied when it shouldn't be.

Another example. My DD has a friend, Larlo, who this past year was in 6th grade. His parents say he is bullied and they are considering Catholic school next year.

Here are some situations he has been in lately:

1. On the lunch line, a cool kid will go toward the front of the line to talk to someone and Larlo will start yelling (you can imagine his voice as a young 6th grader), "Hey!! You're cutting! You can't do that! He's cutting!" And then the kid will respond "Shut up F-slur!" Is it horrible? Yeah. This is a not a good kid who understands you don't ever say that. But-- no one else on the line felt the need to say anything.

2. Larlo is called gay often and maybe he is but is not able to deal with it yet. Fine. But he'll cry if someone asks him if he likes a boy or if he is gay. OK, it is what it is. And then he'll say "I am going to the dance with John." Pauses. "Just as friends!!!" Then if he person he is speaking to so much as makes a face Larlo doesn't like, Larlo gets really mad and upset.

So these kinds of incidents keep happening and the parents call it bullying. Will Catholic school be better?

That is actually bullying.

Catholic Church is outwardly very homophobic but no one will call him the f word and it is actually a very welcoming shelter for gay people. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a horrific way.

PP you quoted. I respect what you are saying but I do not agree. A kid that goes out of his way to interact with known mean kids and call them out for borderline infractions has to take some responsibility. He's also engaging people to consider his sexuality and falling apart when they do.

To call that bullying is an insult to kids that are trying their best not to have issues with anyone and are targeted and harassed.

Look, meanings of words do change over the years. Great, you've got one definition. These other PPs responding to what their kid was subjected to, that's their right, even if their kid didn't physically get a beat down as bullying would be characterized in the 80s and 90s. You don't have to be the bully police. I mean, you can try, but we all may march on without you while you yell after us.

What's with your tone? Why are you calling me the bully police? I was super respectful and stayed in my opinion. I'm starting to understand why you're such a huge proponent of victim culture.

because parents feel bad when someone else tells them their kids don't matter.

Yeah that's exactly what I said. You're all proving that parents of 'bullied' kids are equally delusional to the parents of bullies.

okay. good luck!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think bullying is a very real and terrible thing- but must less prevalent than people often say. There are examples on this thread where a bullying label is applied when it shouldn't be.

Another example. My DD has a friend, Larlo, who this past year was in 6th grade. His parents say he is bullied and they are considering Catholic school next year.

Here are some situations he has been in lately:

1. On the lunch line, a cool kid will go toward the front of the line to talk to someone and Larlo will start yelling (you can imagine his voice as a young 6th grader), "Hey!! You're cutting! You can't do that! He's cutting!" And then the kid will respond "Shut up F-slur!" Is it horrible? Yeah. This is a not a good kid who understands you don't ever say that. But-- no one else on the line felt the need to say anything.

2. Larlo is called gay often and maybe he is but is not able to deal with it yet. Fine. But he'll cry if someone asks him if he likes a boy or if he is gay. OK, it is what it is. And then he'll say "I am going to the dance with John." Pauses. "Just as friends!!!" Then if he person he is speaking to so much as makes a face Larlo doesn't like, Larlo gets really mad and upset.

So these kinds of incidents keep happening and the parents call it bullying. Will Catholic school be better?

That is actually bullying.

Catholic Church is outwardly very homophobic but no one will call him the f word and it is actually a very welcoming shelter for gay people. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a horrific way.

PP you quoted. I respect what you are saying but I do not agree. A kid that goes out of his way to interact with known mean kids and call them out for borderline infractions has to take some responsibility. He's also engaging people to consider his sexuality and falling apart when they do.

To call that bullying is an insult to kids that are trying their best not to have issues with anyone and are targeted and harassed.

Look, meanings of words do change over the years. Great, you've got one definition. These other PPs responding to what their kid was subjected to, that's their right, even if their kid didn't physically get a beat down as bullying would be characterized in the 80s and 90s. You don't have to be the bully police. I mean, you can try, but we all may march on without you while you yell after us.

What's with your tone? Why are you calling me the bully police? I was super respectful and stayed in my opinion. I'm starting to understand why you're such a huge proponent of victim culture.

because parents feel bad when someone else tells them their kids don't matter.

Yeah that's exactly what I said. You're all proving that parents of 'bullied' kids are equally delusional to the parents of bullies.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think bullying is a very real and terrible thing- but must less prevalent than people often say. There are examples on this thread where a bullying label is applied when it shouldn't be.

Another example. My DD has a friend, Larlo, who this past year was in 6th grade. His parents say he is bullied and they are considering Catholic school next year.

Here are some situations he has been in lately:

1. On the lunch line, a cool kid will go toward the front of the line to talk to someone and Larlo will start yelling (you can imagine his voice as a young 6th grader), "Hey!! You're cutting! You can't do that! He's cutting!" And then the kid will respond "Shut up F-slur!" Is it horrible? Yeah. This is a not a good kid who understands you don't ever say that. But-- no one else on the line felt the need to say anything.

2. Larlo is called gay often and maybe he is but is not able to deal with it yet. Fine. But he'll cry if someone asks him if he likes a boy or if he is gay. OK, it is what it is. And then he'll say "I am going to the dance with John." Pauses. "Just as friends!!!" Then if he person he is speaking to so much as makes a face Larlo doesn't like, Larlo gets really mad and upset.

So these kinds of incidents keep happening and the parents call it bullying. Will Catholic school be better?

That is actually bullying.

Catholic Church is outwardly very homophobic but no one will call him the f word and it is actually a very welcoming shelter for gay people. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a horrific way.

PP you quoted. I respect what you are saying but I do not agree. A kid that goes out of his way to interact with known mean kids and call them out for borderline infractions has to take some responsibility. He's also engaging people to consider his sexuality and falling apart when they do.

To call that bullying is an insult to kids that are trying their best not to have issues with anyone and are targeted and harassed.

Look, meanings of words do change over the years. Great, you've got one definition. These other PPs responding to what their kid was subjected to, that's their right, even if their kid didn't physically get a beat down as bullying would be characterized in the 80s and 90s. You don't have to be the bully police. I mean, you can try, but we all may march on without you while you yell after us.

What's with your tone? Why are you calling me the bully police? I was super respectful and stayed in my opinion. I'm starting to understand why you're such a huge proponent of victim culture.

because parents feel bad when someone else tells them their kids don't matter.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think bullying is a very real and terrible thing- but must less prevalent than people often say. There are examples on this thread where a bullying label is applied when it shouldn't be.

Another example. My DD has a friend, Larlo, who this past year was in 6th grade. His parents say he is bullied and they are considering Catholic school next year.

Here are some situations he has been in lately:

1. On the lunch line, a cool kid will go toward the front of the line to talk to someone and Larlo will start yelling (you can imagine his voice as a young 6th grader), "Hey!! You're cutting! You can't do that! He's cutting!" And then the kid will respond "Shut up F-slur!" Is it horrible? Yeah. This is a not a good kid who understands you don't ever say that. But-- no one else on the line felt the need to say anything.

2. Larlo is called gay often and maybe he is but is not able to deal with it yet. Fine. But he'll cry if someone asks him if he likes a boy or if he is gay. OK, it is what it is. And then he'll say "I am going to the dance with John." Pauses. "Just as friends!!!" Then if he person he is speaking to so much as makes a face Larlo doesn't like, Larlo gets really mad and upset.

So these kinds of incidents keep happening and the parents call it bullying. Will Catholic school be better?

That is actually bullying.

Catholic Church is outwardly very homophobic but no one will call him the f word and it is actually a very welcoming shelter for gay people. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a horrific way.

PP you quoted. I respect what you are saying but I do not agree. A kid that goes out of his way to interact with known mean kids and call them out for borderline infractions has to take some responsibility. He's also engaging people to consider his sexuality and falling apart when they do.

To call that bullying is an insult to kids that are trying their best not to have issues with anyone and are targeted and harassed.

Look, meanings of words do change over the years. Great, you've got one definition. These other PPs responding to what their kid was subjected to, that's their right, even if their kid didn't physically get a beat down as bullying would be characterized in the 80s and 90s. You don't have to be the bully police. I mean, you can try, but we all may march on without you while you yell after us.

What's with your tone? Why are you calling me the bully police? I was super respectful and stayed in my opinion. I'm starting to understand why you're such a huge proponent of victim culture.

Here’s the thing — from the parent’s perspective, the bully often IS considered quite popular. They are often charismatic and seem like leaders (because kids certainly do seem to follow them). I think it can be really hard to figure out that your kid is the problem when they seem to have plenty of people texting them, wanting to come to their party, etc.

My kid was good friends with a girl who pretty relentlessly bullied another kid in fifth grade. There wasn’t any actual physical violence, but lots of “I hate you, I wish you would die, etc.” My kid and I talked about it a lot and she always knew which kid was wrong, but the bully was also super charismatic and lots of fun. She struggled with what to do. In sixth grade, my daughter clearly chose to stay friends with the bullied girl and not the bully and the bully then turned on my kid. The difference is that my kid isn’t anxious, etc and could mostly not care that the bully was talking smack about her and turning people against her. It is a large school and my kid still has plenty of friends.

I can promise you that the bully’s parents don’t really get it at all. We know them pretty well, we see them regularly, etc. I can see from their perspective why their daughter seems to be a super friendly, charming kid. I don’t think they will ever get it. I’m sure they still think their daughter and my daughter are friends (although not as close as they used to be me). They have no idea that my daughter knows their kid is a snake and she carefully navigates around her.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think bullying is a very real and terrible thing- but must less prevalent than people often say. There are examples on this thread where a bullying label is applied when it shouldn't be.

Another example. My DD has a friend, Larlo, who this past year was in 6th grade. His parents say he is bullied and they are considering Catholic school next year.

Here are some situations he has been in lately:

1. On the lunch line, a cool kid will go toward the front of the line to talk to someone and Larlo will start yelling (you can imagine his voice as a young 6th grader), "Hey!! You're cutting! You can't do that! He's cutting!" And then the kid will respond "Shut up F-slur!" Is it horrible? Yeah. This is a not a good kid who understands you don't ever say that. But-- no one else on the line felt the need to say anything.

2. Larlo is called gay often and maybe he is but is not able to deal with it yet. Fine. But he'll cry if someone asks him if he likes a boy or if he is gay. OK, it is what it is. And then he'll say "I am going to the dance with John." Pauses. "Just as friends!!!" Then if he person he is speaking to so much as makes a face Larlo doesn't like, Larlo gets really mad and upset.

So these kinds of incidents keep happening and the parents call it bullying. Will Catholic school be better?

That is actually bullying.

Catholic Church is outwardly very homophobic but no one will call him the f word and it is actually a very welcoming shelter for gay people. Sometimes in a good way and sometimes in a horrific way.

PP you quoted. I respect what you are saying but I do not agree. A kid that goes out of his way to interact with known mean kids and call them out for borderline infractions has to take some responsibility. He's also engaging people to consider his sexuality and falling apart when they do.

To call that bullying is an insult to kids that are trying their best not to have issues with anyone and are targeted and harassed.

Look, meanings of words do change over the years. Great, you've got one definition. These other PPs responding to what their kid was subjected to, that's their right, even if their kid didn't physically get a beat down as bullying would be characterized in the 80s and 90s. You don't have to be the bully police. I mean, you can try, but we all may march on without you while you yell after us.

My kid didn't actually get his arm broken by the bully, he only came home crying every day for two years because the bully threatened to. Is that severe enough to call it bullying or do we actually need broken bones? And are fractures okay or does it have to be compound?

You figure that out and do the best you can same as the other parents are doing. You don't need to crowd source it with anyone.

I know what it is, I'm just marvelling at the person who thinks she can tell me my kid wasn't bullied.