Anonymous
Post 07/23/2024 23:43     Subject: Re:3 year old still in diapers
Anonymous wrote:I took my daughter in for her 3 year check up today. The pediatrician said potty training shouldn’t be forced and she’ll do it when she’s ready. Her kids are just a little older than mine and she has given good advice about other things, so I trust her.

FWIW, we tried to potty train at 2.5 but she held her pee until it hurt, and I worried she’d get another UTI (had one a month earlier). Every once in a while, she shows interest and we encourage her, but she loses her mojo. Our baby has rarely slept through the night, so we’ve been too tired to push it. My friend said her kids showed no interest initially but they self-trained around 3 and 3 months. So I’ll give it a little more time before trying again.


If I waited till my kid was ready who knows when they did it. You need to force it. Bad advice. If it was a 1-2 year old, yes, 3 year old no. You have to be really consistent and it may take months.
Anonymous
Post 07/23/2024 23:40     Subject: 3 year old still in diapers
Anonymous wrote:The signs of readiness are:
- Being able to push down pants and underwear
- Being verbal enough to say they need to go potty

Most kids don't potty train themselves so you should take the initiative. We did the no pants or underwear thing a little before age 2.5 which was rough, but effective. It helped DD figure out what happens if she doesn't go to the potty. Other people keep pullups on but take their kid to the potty regularly.


This! The advice to wait until they are "ready" isn't very good advice for most kids. Most will gladly crap in their diaper for as long as you let them.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2024 20:17     Subject: 3 year old still in diapers
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you haven’t read Oh Crap if you are already introducing treats or are surprised by how the first day is going. Potty training is more about parenting than it is about a child’s aptitude — I’d encourage you to take the time to actually read it (or get the audiobook and listen - it’s like 5 hours). Your daughter didn’t learn to walk or eat solids in a day, and this won’t be any different. Getting into a good mental space about learning this new skill is key.


Op here I wanted to start immediately. I was reading blogs where this was used but I assume they adapted it a bit. I will read through this week, but from what people were saying we did not want to be waiting. It said that engaging them in cleaning, not as a punishment, but as something that is needed, helps understand the importance of using the potty.

What is the first step I need to do? I promise I will read it all by the end of the week.



Have patience, learn what’s developmentally appropriate/possible for your kid. I’d hold off on starting until you’ve read the book so you can be consistent & confident throughout the proces. You’ve got this!!
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2024 18:58     Subject: Re:3 year old still in diapers
I took my daughter in for her 3 year check up today. The pediatrician said potty training shouldn’t be forced and she’ll do it when she’s ready. Her kids are just a little older than mine and she has given good advice about other things, so I trust her.

FWIW, we tried to potty train at 2.5 but she held her pee until it hurt, and I worried she’d get another UTI (had one a month earlier). Every once in a while, she shows interest and we encourage her, but she loses her mojo. Our baby has rarely slept through the night, so we’ve been too tired to push it. My friend said her kids showed no interest initially but they self-trained around 3 and 3 months. So I’ll give it a little more time before trying again.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2024 17:39     Subject: 3 year old still in diapers
She was ready at 1. It’s crazy for a 3 year old to be in diapers barring a medical issue.

Readers, don’t do what OP did. Your child is ready at 1 to become familiar with the toilet and sit on it periodically. Most kids are ready to be done with diapers fully before 2.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2024 17:37     Subject: 3 year old still in diapers
Anonymous wrote:Opinion no-one asked for: making a 3 year old (or any toddler) clean up their bathroom accidents is cruel.


Well OP is clearly lazy, so I’m sure it works for her.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2024 17:30     Subject: 3 year old still in diapers
Anonymous wrote:How did you know to start. Daughter only really showing sign 6 here, so that's why we're leaving for now

https://www.kandookids.com/blog/when-to-start-potty-training/


If you wait for all those things to happen, your kid might be graduating elementary school still in diapers.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2024 16:21     Subject: 3 year old still in diapers
Dude - just be better to your kid. Do not make them clean up pee or poop as punishment. Our kid failed the first 2 maybe 3 attempts at potty training in the 2-2.5/3 year mark. And then at the 3 year 2 month mark it stuck - worked like a charm in a week. We kept at it in that time frame, we didnt stress him out, because we learnt our lesson after the first failed oh crap method. We did get him comfortable with wiping so he gets better at it, but no 3 year old is going to be able to wipe their butt clean of all their poop. Just not happening.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2024 12:35     Subject: 3 year old still in diapers
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP, you haven’t read Oh Crap if you are already introducing treats or are surprised by how the first day is going. Potty training is more about parenting than it is about a child’s aptitude — I’d encourage you to take the time to actually read it (or get the audiobook and listen - it’s like 5 hours). Your daughter didn’t learn to walk or eat solids in a day, and this won’t be any different. Getting into a good mental space about learning this new skill is key.


Op here I wanted to start immediately. I was reading blogs where this was used but I assume they adapted it a bit. I will read through this week, but from what people were saying we did not want to be waiting. It said that engaging them in cleaning, not as a punishment, but as something that is needed, helps understand the importance of using the potty.

What is the first step I need to do? I promise I will read it all by the end of the week.



I make my 3 year old clean up messes at the dinner table when she does it on purpose. I do not make her clean up her crumbs and spills because she is 3 and that is just what happens. I don't care how the blogs/books frame it. Making a 3 year old clean up pee/poop (that they're not intentionally doing) is cruel.
Anonymous
Post 07/22/2024 10:33     Subject: 3 year old still in diapers
Anonymous wrote:OP, you haven’t read Oh Crap if you are already introducing treats or are surprised by how the first day is going. Potty training is more about parenting than it is about a child’s aptitude — I’d encourage you to take the time to actually read it (or get the audiobook and listen - it’s like 5 hours). Your daughter didn’t learn to walk or eat solids in a day, and this won’t be any different. Getting into a good mental space about learning this new skill is key.


Op here I wanted to start immediately. I was reading blogs where this was used but I assume they adapted it a bit. I will read through this week, but from what people were saying we did not want to be waiting. It said that engaging them in cleaning, not as a punishment, but as something that is needed, helps understand the importance of using the potty.

What is the first step I need to do? I promise I will read it all by the end of the week.

Anonymous
Post 07/22/2024 10:30     Subject: 3 year old still in diapers
Anonymous wrote:OP, you haven’t read Oh Crap if you are already introducing treats or are surprised by how the first day is going. Potty training is more about parenting than it is about a child’s aptitude — I’d encourage you to take the time to actually read it (or get the audiobook and listen - it’s like 5 hours). Your daughter didn’t learn to walk or eat solids in a day, and this won’t be any different. Getting into a good mental space about learning this new skill is key.


Agreed 100%. I read that book and then I read it again.

Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 22:07     Subject: 3 year old still in diapers
OP, you haven’t read Oh Crap if you are already introducing treats or are surprised by how the first day is going. Potty training is more about parenting than it is about a child’s aptitude — I’d encourage you to take the time to actually read it (or get the audiobook and listen - it’s like 5 hours). Your daughter didn’t learn to walk or eat solids in a day, and this won’t be any different. Getting into a good mental space about learning this new skill is key.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 22:02     Subject: 3 year old still in diapers
OP, she's ready. Some kids train quickly, other kids need to be forced. We had to force it. We tried multiple times but had developmental delays. Some kids don't connect the sensation of needing to go. We put ours on the toliet at wake up and twice before bed. We also did every 45-60 minutes. It took months, not a week or weeks. We also at some point just went to training underwear and just covered the couch and things that couldn't wash easily.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 21:51     Subject: 3 year old still in diapers
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Opinion no-one asked for: making a 3 year old (or any toddler) clean up their bathroom accidents is cruel.


I agree. Ridiculous. It’s a physical thing that they can’t always control


I’ve read several other potty-training threads where it’s suggested, so I assume it’s coming from some sort of potty training internet “method” but it just seems unnecessarily punitive.


It’s actually a very popular method designed to force the child to associate with the idea that accidents = bad. Do something bad = waste time and energy cleaning up. Avoid doing something bad = don’t need to waste time cleaning up. A lot of people freak out about accidents and expect kids to literally get this done within a day or 2. They get frustrated quickly and assume that the kids are having accidents ON PURPOSE which is why they’re punishing the behavior. Some kids can get trained very quickly, so it further reinforces the idea that it is done on purpose.
Anonymous
Post 07/21/2024 18:40     Subject: 3 year old still in diapers
She's ready