Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 09:04     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
Anonymous wrote:This is all so confusing. Where is this place??

You just have to tell her! Why would it hurt her feelings?? She can’t afford to fly across the country, so you’re never allowed to go there? And her kids can’t pool money together to pay for her to visit them? Or to go out to see her?

I could see how it might be hurtful if you had been in a position to drive her there with you, but seeing as that’s not the case, tell her about how you’re excited to see a place that means so much to her and ask her for tips of places to check out?


This. I am struggling how this would hurt her feelings, at all.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 09:03     Subject: Re:how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:How are you spending 6 days for this one place?


6 days total, there and back. Just a day in this town.


OP, you keep referring to this as a road trip, and that it will take 5 days to travel there, but then you talk about how much air fare will cost. Unless this town is in the middle of the Australian outback, this makes no sense.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 08:56     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
Just be honest that you are going, but brief about it, and offer to take/drop off anything portable her kids may need or want to send her. You are overthinking this. She may feel upset, but she will know that she doesn't get to dictate where your family visits on vacation.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 08:52     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
Just don’t post on IG every 2 seconds which I suspect is what this is really about and friend will never know. She lives across the country - it’s not like she’ll ask you to coffee one afternoon and you’ll have to say you’re in her hometown? And even if it comes up in conversation, can’t you lie — oh we’re taking a road trip to X and Y — without mention of her hometown?
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 08:47     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
What is the location? If your friend is CA I doubt she will come across your post here (and if she somehow did, you've already said enough for her to recognize you here).
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 08:24     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
Her children probably don't want to see her.

Five years is a long time.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 08:20     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
Op I wouldn’t hide it. Just tell her you are trying to convince DH to pass through her town while you are on the way to whereever since she’s talked so much about it. Ask her what to do there and if she wants you to bring anything back
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 07:30     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Niagra Falls?


Part of a road trip? Rock & Roll Hall of Fame on a trip to Niagra Falls. Ohio is the CA friend's home.


Your daughter has "been emailing" with your husband/her father about a six day road trip and you did not know the details until now?

Your friend lives across the country. Are you never supposed to travel through her home state because of it. Has she laid claim to other parts of the country too? If this is really her doing and not you being main character, she is not a good friend .


If it’s Ohio and small kid wanted to go it is the pro football HoF in Canton. Not the Rock and Roll HoF.



Do small kids make email arrangements with their father without any knowledge of the mother. Would make a little more sense if parents were divorced but isn't the case
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 07:29     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
Anonymous wrote:Niagra Falls?


That’s what I was thinking too
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 07:25     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
Anonymous wrote:It’s a one day stop. Just don’t tell her. I went somewhere for 2 weeks and didn’t tell any close friends - only my neighbors who needed to know. And guess what? Nobody still knows and we are all fine.


My neighbors ask for detailed and notarized itinerary. I don't know what's wrong with your neighbors.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 07:23     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
Just like…don’t tell her, OP. I text with friends daily without anyone explicitly mentioning their locations. It’ll be fine.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 07:21     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
This friend is too much! Crying over a destination? Go work at Target and save up for bus fare. Gate keeping a location is beyond strange. Maybe get her therapy for a gift.

And PPs saying take get on their family vacation? What a weird boundary to cross!!
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 07:19     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Niagra Falls?


Part of a road trip? Rock & Roll Hall of Fame on a trip to Niagra Falls. Ohio is the CA friend's home.


Your daughter has "been emailing" with your husband/her father about a six day road trip and you did not know the details until now?

Your friend lives across the country. Are you never supposed to travel through her home state because of it. Has she laid claim to other parts of the country too? If this is really her doing and not you being main character, she is not a good friend .


I don’t think OP ever said Ohio.



She didn’t. I think PP is just creating a scenario. In her head.
Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 07:18     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Niagra Falls?


Part of a road trip? Rock & Roll Hall of Fame on a trip to Niagra Falls. Ohio is the CA friend's home.


Your daughter has "been emailing" with your husband/her father about a six day road trip and you did not know the details until now?

Your friend lives across the country. Are you never supposed to travel through her home state because of it. Has she laid claim to other parts of the country too? If this is really her doing and not you being main character, she is not a good friend .


I don’t think OP ever said Ohio.

Anonymous
Post 07/08/2024 07:17     Subject: how do I hide this particular trip from this particular friend?
Anonymous wrote:Oh my goodness, you are friends and talk every day, she hasn’t seen her CHILDREN in 5 years, you are in a position to help her, and you won’t? That’s awful.

You don’t have to hang out with her, but take her. Drop her off at one of her kid’s houses.


This.