Anonymous wrote:OP: Your child has some research to do. I would frame this as a "You failed a class as a sophomore, it is important that you understand how poor grades can influence your future choices."

He needs to:

1) Give you a list of what colleges he is interested in attending and tell you why he wants to attend those schools.
2) Research those colleges. He needs to tell you the average GPA, course requirements, and ACT/SAT scores for each of those schools.
3) He needs to be able to discuss with you how he is going to meet those requirements.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this quote that I pulled from your previous post is about the most you can say:

"if you are really that interested in school A, it looks like they mostly take kids who have you solid B or B+, you might want to shoot for that".

They HAVE to be prepared that they'll need several safety schools. I feel for you -- had a somewhat similar semester with one of my kids. It's hard, because we have to be honest about the fact that they're limiting their options, while still encouraging them to turn things around.

I am meeting with an outside counselor who I hope can give this advice. My problem is I dont have any basis to even give the above recommendation. Hence my 120-180 comments several times.

I would stop with the constant college ranking talk. What are his life goals? Does he want to go away to college or stay near home? Who does he want to be and what skills does he need to get there? None of those answers should include college rank or prestige.

I went to a terribly ranked college (for financial reasons), did great and then attended a fabulous grad program. I now have an excellent career. College rank isn't the end all be all. Focus on helping him grow up to be a competent adult, not on college ranking as a measure of self worth.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

1. Emailed AO's at the colleges of interest, waiting to hear back from two. One responded - they would need to see the full picture at end of Jr year, etc. and the message is pretty generic as in one course, one grade is not going to throw the application in reject pile.

2. Definitely going to retake class next year. Question is what if anything can be done to make the transcript look less bad.

3. Do have a tutor who would be starting on soon. Child did well in Algebra and Geometry, but needed a lot of parent push to do the work, a tutor who helped, etc. In Algebra 2 with the health issue, child gave us a picture of everything being find due to accommodations given by teacher but child did not follow through. Putting in the effort if we are on the child's tail would ensure both a grade and that the child learned the material. This part we are not worried too much.

4. We did talk to school but the meeting did not go well. We are blindsided. Child gave one picture to us (and not the correct one) and it was completely different picture from the teachers.

5. We need someone credible to say to child, no with an F and likely poor grades (as in mainly B's and few A's) in 11th grade, going to colleges 120-180 is not viable. I am not credible because I do not know myself. This would really the most impactful info that we can convey to him. Hence my request for info from this group while waiting for AO's to respond. I know there are no definite answers, but something like "You are unlikely to get into 120-180 with 3.1 GPA with an F. Maybe if you get an A on that course next year and get mainly A, A- and B+ in junior year, you would have a pretty good chance" would very likely solve the problem.

Honestly, calm down. This post is like so many parents and some of the reasons teachers are leaving. It’s all too much.

You were blindsided? Parents believe everything their kid says. You are so hyper focused on grades and getting into specific colleges for your kid who hasn’t even started 11th grade yet. Reread your post. I have so many parents like you ever year. There is no one “credible” who can say anything to your 16 year old son in the summer that will suddenly make him care about getting into the school you want him to attend.

You got opposite of what is going on.

We never cared about college ranking. We let our child pursue whatever interests them. When child has fallen behind in math and other subjects we had a tutor to get child on track.

Child has a very specific school in mind that is good for his extracurricular. It was entirely the child's interest to get into that specific college. Without naming that school which may id the student I am giving a generic ranking 120-180 to give a rough idea of the college. We are not pushing for it or any other college. Child got the idea that given this extracurricular, grades dont matter all that much, even an F was taken very casually. All I am doing is asking if that is true! If that is the case, we can just let things be as they are. If not we can at least pass the child the info they need to make the right decision. Telling a child, "if you are really that interested in school A, it looks like they mostly take kids who have you solid B or B+, you might want to shoot for that".

Yes we believed what child said before we talked to the teacher. So yes we were blindsided. Now we know the teacher is telling the truth. We sided with the teacher and school on this.

It is because of parents like me teachers are leaving schools?

If child has a specific school in mind, then child should fully research the admissions criteria for that school. If child is banking on a scholarship for his extracurricular from that school (ie, sports scholarship that doesn't always require the same minimum GPA as all the other students), he needs to have some detailed conversations with the coaches as well. If he really wants to get in, he should be fully focused on finding out what they expect and meeting (exceeding) those expectations.

Full research for my child means: I know two kids who are similar to me and who are at the college now told me I am going to get in. No worries.

That is the extent of due diligence for my child. From what I gathered it is probably not true.

Not sports and no scholarships for the intended college/program.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

1. Emailed AO's at the colleges of interest, waiting to hear back from two. One responded - they would need to see the full picture at end of Jr year, etc. and the message is pretty generic as in one course, one grade is not going to throw the application in reject pile.

2. Definitely going to retake class next year. Question is what if anything can be done to make the transcript look less bad.

3. Do have a tutor who would be starting on soon. Child did well in Algebra and Geometry, but needed a lot of parent push to do the work, a tutor who helped, etc. In Algebra 2 with the health issue, child gave us a picture of everything being find due to accommodations given by teacher but child did not follow through. Putting in the effort if we are on the child's tail would ensure both a grade and that the child learned the material. This part we are not worried too much.

4. We did talk to school but the meeting did not go well. We are blindsided. Child gave one picture to us (and not the correct one) and it was completely different picture from the teachers.

5. We need someone credible to say to child, no with an F and likely poor grades (as in mainly B's and few A's) in 11th grade, going to colleges 120-180 is not viable. I am not credible because I do not know myself. This would really the most impactful info that we can convey to him. Hence my request for info from this group while waiting for AO's to respond. I know there are no definite answers, but something like "You are unlikely to get into 120-180 with 3.1 GPA with an F. Maybe if you get an A on that course next year and get mainly A, A- and B+ in junior year, you would have a pretty good chance" would very likely solve the problem.

Honestly, calm down. This post is like so many parents and some of the reasons teachers are leaving. It’s all too much.

You were blindsided? Parents believe everything their kid says. You are so hyper focused on grades and getting into specific colleges for your kid who hasn’t even started 11th grade yet. Reread your post. I have so many parents like you ever year. There is no one “credible” who can say anything to your 16 year old son in the summer that will suddenly make him care about getting into the school you want him to attend.

You got opposite of what is going on.

We never cared about college ranking. We let our child pursue whatever interests them. When child has fallen behind in math and other subjects we had a tutor to get child on track.

Child has a very specific school in mind that is good for his extracurricular. It was entirely the child's interest to get into that specific college. Without naming that school which may id the student I am giving a generic ranking 120-180 to give a rough idea of the college. We are not pushing for it or any other college. Child got the idea that given this extracurricular, grades dont matter all that much, even an F was taken very casually. All I am doing is asking if that is true! If that is the case, we can just let things be as they are. If not we can at least pass the child the info they need to make the right decision. Telling a child, "if you are really that interested in school A, it looks like they mostly take kids who have you solid B or B+, you might want to shoot for that".

Yes we believed what child said before we talked to the teacher. So yes we were blindsided. Now we know the teacher is telling the truth. We sided with the teacher and school on this.

It is because of parents like me teachers are leaving schools?

How are you talking to a teacher about the Alg 2 grade this late in June or any time after a final grade is posted.

Sorry, maybe I was harsh. I’m tired so much is expected of us by admin now. It’s difficult to hear any parent was blindsided when everything we do has tp be online now, including notes, assignments and all upcoming assessments. Grades are online too. I have parents tell me they had no idea their kid was failing and then it’s the end of the year and they admit to not checking anything all year. Maybe I work in a much different school than where your son attends.

We talked just as the grades were getting posted.

We checked online but the teacher was giving extensions on tests, homework, alternate ways to take tests and show homework, etc. So scores were not up to date. We did not realize the child was missing even the extensions.

I blame myself as a parent 100%.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this quote that I pulled from your previous post is about the most you can say:

"if you are really that interested in school A, it looks like they mostly take kids who have you solid B or B+, you might want to shoot for that".

They HAVE to be prepared that they'll need several safety schools. I feel for you -- had a somewhat similar semester with one of my kids. It's hard, because we have to be honest about the fact that they're limiting their options, while still encouraging them to turn things around.

I am meeting with an outside counselor who I hope can give this advice. My problem is I dont have any basis to even give the above recommendation. Hence my 120-180 comments several times.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

1. Emailed AO's at the colleges of interest, waiting to hear back from two. One responded - they would need to see the full picture at end of Jr year, etc. and the message is pretty generic as in one course, one grade is not going to throw the application in reject pile.

2. Definitely going to retake class next year. Question is what if anything can be done to make the transcript look less bad.

3. Do have a tutor who would be starting on soon. Child did well in Algebra and Geometry, but needed a lot of parent push to do the work, a tutor who helped, etc. In Algebra 2 with the health issue, child gave us a picture of everything being find due to accommodations given by teacher but child did not follow through. Putting in the effort if we are on the child's tail would ensure both a grade and that the child learned the material. This part we are not worried too much.

4. We did talk to school but the meeting did not go well. We are blindsided. Child gave one picture to us (and not the correct one) and it was completely different picture from the teachers.

5. We need someone credible to say to child, no with an F and likely poor grades (as in mainly B's and few A's) in 11th grade, going to colleges 120-180 is not viable. I am not credible because I do not know myself. This would really the most impactful info that we can convey to him. Hence my request for info from this group while waiting for AO's to respond. I know there are no definite answers, but something like "You are unlikely to get into 120-180 with 3.1 GPA with an F. Maybe if you get an A on that course next year and get mainly A, A- and B+ in junior year, you would have a pretty good chance" would very likely solve the problem.

Honestly, calm down. This post is like so many parents and some of the reasons teachers are leaving. It’s all too much.

You were blindsided? Parents believe everything their kid says. You are so hyper focused on grades and getting into specific colleges for your kid who hasn’t even started 11th grade yet. Reread your post. I have so many parents like you ever year. There is no one “credible” who can say anything to your 16 year old son in the summer that will suddenly make him care about getting into the school you want him to attend.

You got opposite of what is going on.

We never cared about college ranking. We let our child pursue whatever interests them. When child has fallen behind in math and other subjects we had a tutor to get child on track.

Child has a very specific school in mind that is good for his extracurricular. It was entirely the child's interest to get into that specific college. Without naming that school which may id the student I am giving a generic ranking 120-180 to give a rough idea of the college. We are not pushing for it or any other college. Child got the idea that given this extracurricular, grades dont matter all that much, even an F was taken very casually. All I am doing is asking if that is true! If that is the case, we can just let things be as they are. If not we can at least pass the child the info they need to make the right decision. Telling a child, "if you are really that interested in school A, it looks like they mostly take kids who have you solid B or B+, you might want to shoot for that".

Yes we believed what child said before we talked to the teacher. So yes we were blindsided. Now we know the teacher is telling the truth. We sided with the teacher and school on this.

It is because of parents like me teachers are leaving schools?

If child has a specific school in mind, then child should fully research the admissions criteria for that school. If child is banking on a scholarship for his extracurricular from that school (ie, sports scholarship that doesn't always require the same minimum GPA as all the other students), he needs to have some detailed conversations with the coaches as well. If he really wants to get in, he should be fully focused on finding out what they expect and meeting (exceeding) those expectations.

Full research for my child means: I know two kids who are similar to me and who are at the college now told me I am going to get in. No worries.

That is the extent of due diligence for my child. From what I gathered it is probably not true.

Not sports and no scholarships for the intended college/program.

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

1. Emailed AO's at the colleges of interest, waiting to hear back from two. One responded - they would need to see the full picture at end of Jr year, etc. and the message is pretty generic as in one course, one grade is not going to throw the application in reject pile.

2. Definitely going to retake class next year. Question is what if anything can be done to make the transcript look less bad.

3. Do have a tutor who would be starting on soon. Child did well in Algebra and Geometry, but needed a lot of parent push to do the work, a tutor who helped, etc. In Algebra 2 with the health issue, child gave us a picture of everything being find due to accommodations given by teacher but child did not follow through. Putting in the effort if we are on the child's tail would ensure both a grade and that the child learned the material. This part we are not worried too much.

4. We did talk to school but the meeting did not go well. We are blindsided. Child gave one picture to us (and not the correct one) and it was completely different picture from the teachers.

5. We need someone credible to say to child, no with an F and likely poor grades (as in mainly B's and few A's) in 11th grade, going to colleges 120-180 is not viable. I am not credible because I do not know myself. This would really the most impactful info that we can convey to him. Hence my request for info from this group while waiting for AO's to respond. I know there are no definite answers, but something like "You are unlikely to get into 120-180 with 3.1 GPA with an F. Maybe if you get an A on that course next year and get mainly A, A- and B+ in junior year, you would have a pretty good chance" would very likely solve the problem.

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this quote that I pulled from your previous post is about the most you can say:

"if you are really that interested in school A, it looks like they mostly take kids who have you solid B or B+, you might want to shoot for that".

They HAVE to be prepared that they'll need several safety schools. I feel for you -- had a somewhat similar semester with one of my kids. It's hard, because we have to be honest about the fact that they're limiting their options, while still encouraging them to turn things around.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

1. Emailed AO's at the colleges of interest, waiting to hear back from two. One responded - they would need to see the full picture at end of Jr year, etc. and the message is pretty generic as in one course, one grade is not going to throw the application in reject pile.

2. Definitely going to retake class next year. Question is what if anything can be done to make the transcript look less bad.

3. Do have a tutor who would be starting on soon. Child did well in Algebra and Geometry, but needed a lot of parent push to do the work, a tutor who helped, etc. In Algebra 2 with the health issue, child gave us a picture of everything being find due to accommodations given by teacher but child did not follow through. Putting in the effort if we are on the child's tail would ensure both a grade and that the child learned the material. This part we are not worried too much.

4. We did talk to school but the meeting did not go well. We are blindsided. Child gave one picture to us (and not the correct one) and it was completely different picture from the teachers.

5. We need someone credible to say to child, no with an F and likely poor grades (as in mainly B's and few A's) in 11th grade, going to colleges 120-180 is not viable. I am not credible because I do not know myself. This would really the most impactful info that we can convey to him. Hence my request for info from this group while waiting for AO's to respond. I know there are no definite answers, but something like "You are unlikely to get into 120-180 with 3.1 GPA with an F. Maybe if you get an A on that course next year and get mainly A, A- and B+ in junior year, you would have a pretty good chance" would very likely solve the problem.

Honestly, calm down. This post is like so many parents and some of the reasons teachers are leaving. It’s all too much.

You were blindsided? Parents believe everything their kid says. You are so hyper focused on grades and getting into specific colleges for your kid who hasn’t even started 11th grade yet. Reread your post. I have so many parents like you ever year. There is no one “credible” who can say anything to your 16 year old son in the summer that will suddenly make him care about getting into the school you want him to attend.

You got opposite of what is going on.

We never cared about college ranking. We let our child pursue whatever interests them. When child has fallen behind in math and other subjects we had a tutor to get child on track.

Child has a very specific school in mind that is good for his extracurricular. It was entirely the child's interest to get into that specific college. Without naming that school which may id the student I am giving a generic ranking 120-180 to give a rough idea of the college. We are not pushing for it or any other college. Child got the idea that given this extracurricular, grades dont matter all that much, even an F was taken very casually. All I am doing is asking if that is true! If that is the case, we can just let things be as they are. If not we can at least pass the child the info they need to make the right decision. Telling a child, "if you are really that interested in school A, it looks like they mostly take kids who have you solid B or B+, you might want to shoot for that".

Yes we believed what child said before we talked to the teacher. So yes we were blindsided. Now we know the teacher is telling the truth. We sided with the teacher and school on this.

It is because of parents like me teachers are leaving schools?

If child has a specific school in mind, then child should fully research the admissions criteria for that school. If child is banking on a scholarship for his extracurricular from that school (ie, sports scholarship that doesn't always require the same minimum GPA as all the other students), he needs to have some detailed conversations with the coaches as well. If he really wants to get in, he should be fully focused on finding out what they expect and meeting (exceeding) those expectations.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

1. Emailed AO's at the colleges of interest, waiting to hear back from two. One responded - they would need to see the full picture at end of Jr year, etc. and the message is pretty generic as in one course, one grade is not going to throw the application in reject pile.

2. Definitely going to retake class next year. Question is what if anything can be done to make the transcript look less bad.

3. Do have a tutor who would be starting on soon. Child did well in Algebra and Geometry, but needed a lot of parent push to do the work, a tutor who helped, etc. In Algebra 2 with the health issue, child gave us a picture of everything being find due to accommodations given by teacher but child did not follow through. Putting in the effort if we are on the child's tail would ensure both a grade and that the child learned the material. This part we are not worried too much.

4. We did talk to school but the meeting did not go well. We are blindsided. Child gave one picture to us (and not the correct one) and it was completely different picture from the teachers.

5. We need someone credible to say to child, no with an F and likely poor grades (as in mainly B's and few A's) in 11th grade, going to colleges 120-180 is not viable. I am not credible because I do not know myself. This would really the most impactful info that we can convey to him. Hence my request for info from this group while waiting for AO's to respond. I know there are no definite answers, but something like "You are unlikely to get into 120-180 with 3.1 GPA with an F. Maybe if you get an A on that course next year and get mainly A, A- and B+ in junior year, you would have a pretty good chance" would very likely solve the problem.

Honestly, calm down. This post is like so many parents and some of the reasons teachers are leaving. It’s all too much.

You were blindsided? Parents believe everything their kid says. You are so hyper focused on grades and getting into specific colleges for your kid who hasn’t even started 11th grade yet. Reread your post. I have so many parents like you ever year. There is no one “credible” who can say anything to your 16 year old son in the summer that will suddenly make him care about getting into the school you want him to attend.

You got opposite of what is going on.

We never cared about college ranking. We let our child pursue whatever interests them. When child has fallen behind in math and other subjects we had a tutor to get child on track.

Child has a very specific school in mind that is good for his extracurricular. It was entirely the child's interest to get into that specific college. Without naming that school which may id the student I am giving a generic ranking 120-180 to give a rough idea of the college. We are not pushing for it or any other college. Child got the idea that given this extracurricular, grades dont matter all that much, even an F was taken very casually. All I am doing is asking if that is true! If that is the case, we can just let things be as they are. If not we can at least pass the child the info they need to make the right decision. Telling a child, "if you are really that interested in school A, it looks like they mostly take kids who have you solid B or B+, you might want to shoot for that".

Yes we believed what child said before we talked to the teacher. So yes we were blindsided. Now we know the teacher is telling the truth. We sided with the teacher and school on this.

It is because of parents like me teachers are leaving schools?

How are you talking to a teacher about the Alg 2 grade this late in June or any time after a final grade is posted.

Sorry, maybe I was harsh. I’m tired so much is expected of us by admin now. It’s difficult to hear any parent was blindsided when everything we do has tp be online now, including notes, assignments and all upcoming assessments. Grades are online too. I have parents tell me they had no idea their kid was failing and then it’s the end of the year and they admit to not checking anything all year. Maybe I work in a much different school than where your son attends.

Anonymous wrote:College is not at all the immediate point for this.

Your child should be mortified by this F, and eager to repair, by showing he can learn the material. This a foundational for future education and career.